Stay strong and keep up the attitude of taking life one day at a time. It sounds like you've got a good support network, that should help tons.
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Divorced
- Thread starter samhainborn
- Start Date
I'm so glad you've got construction skills - doing physical work is going to be a big help in getting through this!
And sale finalized or not, you're entitled to your share of "assets" in the marriage. I do hope you've gotten a good lawyer.
I think you're doing amazing, actually, given how suddenly this came down on you. I know you don't feel that way, but you are moving ahead. Like Erica says... one day at a time.
And sale finalized or not, you're entitled to your share of "assets" in the marriage. I do hope you've gotten a good lawyer.
I think you're doing amazing, actually, given how suddenly this came down on you. I know you don't feel that way, but you are moving ahead. Like Erica says... one day at a time.
- Thread Starter Thread Starter
- #43
I'm getting through the days by not thinking about it, and the nights by self-medicating. I'm surviving, but that's not what I would call living.
I haven't gotten a lawyer. I'm not ready to face it, and I certainly can't afford it. I know he can't either. I am making sure that I get my fair share of things, but I don't want to cripple him. I know that maybe I'm being an idiot, but even though he's hurt me is no reason to make his life Hell.
Do I wish that things were simple and easy and that I could take him for everything he had? Do I wish that I could make him hurt the way I am hurting? Yes. But in the end, I know that I am not the type of person that is going to keep him from going to college, or make him lose his car because he can't afford to pay for those things.
Our whole relationship has been built from me trying to help him be better, help him reach his potential. I got him off drugs, I got him to bring his grades up to straight A's, instead of C's, D's and F's. I helped him get into the military by getting him recommendations from military officers, Get his life in a good direction. I've always made sure that he was eating good healthy food and had everything that he wanted that we could afford. Even if he's ready to walk away, I am not going to ruin his accomplishments by being petty now. I've made him a better person. If that's all he needed me for, well then maybe it's time for me to just walk away. He has a chance at life now that he wouldn't have had before he met me. What he does with his life now is beyond me, but that's not really my problem, I guess. I just won't make things more difficult than they are. If he doesn't want me, then I really don't want anything from him. I gave him everything, but still failed to make him happy.
I miss my Ginger girl. I haven't been able to see her since I took all my stuff and left. He won't send me pictures or let me come over to visit. I worry over whether she's alright or not.
Tomorrow I start demolition. I'll be taking the old paneling down, knocking down a bathroom wall to enlarge the bathroom, and clearing out the counter from the front of the building. I'll be taking down the ceiling tiles if I have time, as well as trimming the overgrown shrubs from the fenceline in the back. I'll maybe post a new thread with pictures tomorrow? We'll see.
I think the people I'm getting the most support from are you guys. Bug hugs to you all, and thank you.
I haven't gotten a lawyer. I'm not ready to face it, and I certainly can't afford it. I know he can't either. I am making sure that I get my fair share of things, but I don't want to cripple him. I know that maybe I'm being an idiot, but even though he's hurt me is no reason to make his life Hell.
Do I wish that things were simple and easy and that I could take him for everything he had? Do I wish that I could make him hurt the way I am hurting? Yes. But in the end, I know that I am not the type of person that is going to keep him from going to college, or make him lose his car because he can't afford to pay for those things.
Our whole relationship has been built from me trying to help him be better, help him reach his potential. I got him off drugs, I got him to bring his grades up to straight A's, instead of C's, D's and F's. I helped him get into the military by getting him recommendations from military officers, Get his life in a good direction. I've always made sure that he was eating good healthy food and had everything that he wanted that we could afford. Even if he's ready to walk away, I am not going to ruin his accomplishments by being petty now. I've made him a better person. If that's all he needed me for, well then maybe it's time for me to just walk away. He has a chance at life now that he wouldn't have had before he met me. What he does with his life now is beyond me, but that's not really my problem, I guess. I just won't make things more difficult than they are. If he doesn't want me, then I really don't want anything from him. I gave him everything, but still failed to make him happy.
I miss my Ginger girl. I haven't been able to see her since I took all my stuff and left. He won't send me pictures or let me come over to visit. I worry over whether she's alright or not.
Tomorrow I start demolition. I'll be taking the old paneling down, knocking down a bathroom wall to enlarge the bathroom, and clearing out the counter from the front of the building. I'll be taking down the ceiling tiles if I have time, as well as trimming the overgrown shrubs from the fenceline in the back. I'll maybe post a new thread with pictures tomorrow? We'll see.
I think the people I'm getting the most support from are you guys. Bug hugs to you all, and thank you.
- Joined
- Mar 7, 2008
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hang in there. Sounds like he's being a real jerk. Better things will come to you. I would not allow anyone to keep me from seeing one of my cats, however.
Aw Sweetie, you are being far more noble than I could ever be. It sounds as if you turned his life around. I'm pretty sure Karma will kick in one of these days, and you are going to be deserving of something wonderful.
As for Ginger, what's the problem with him at least sending you a picture or two? I agree with Otto---no one would keep me away from my kitty. It appears that you're being extremely nice about everything else; stand up for yourself where your baby is concerned.
I'm glad you've got the demo work to keep yourself occupied. It sounds as if you're going to be doing a lot--please be careful.
Wish I could give you some fabulous words of wisdom to take away the pain. Just know that we're behind you, cheering you on.
As for Ginger, what's the problem with him at least sending you a picture or two? I agree with Otto---no one would keep me away from my kitty. It appears that you're being extremely nice about everything else; stand up for yourself where your baby is concerned.
I'm glad you've got the demo work to keep yourself occupied. It sounds as if you're going to be doing a lot--please be careful.
Wish I could give you some fabulous words of wisdom to take away the pain. Just know that we're behind you, cheering you on.
Oh Sam, your situation mirrors mine in alot of ways.....a little over a year ago, my husband of 9 years comes home and says, I love you but am not in love with you anymore.......to make a long story short, 5 months later, we're divorced and I'm on my own for the first time in my life. Can't say I don't miss him after all this time and am happier without him, but I am getting stronger/better day by day and realizing that with or without my husband, life goes on and the sun comes up everyday. I'll tell you the one thing I'm grateful I did. I have all 4 of my babies with me. It wasn't easy to find a place that would rent to me with 4 kitties, but I did and they have been my biggest joy/source of comfort. Life without my husband was quite an adjustment, but with all the love and support of my family and friends, I'm doing it. Life without my kitty kids would be incomprehensible.......
I'm here if you ever want to chat. Just PM me.....and hang in there. Life does get better...just give yourself time.
I'm here if you ever want to chat. Just PM me.....and hang in there. Life does get better...just give yourself time.
I just want you to know that I'm still praying for you and thinking about you
If you ever need to talk, you just let me know! Also, Clarksville isn't that far from Memphis- I just want you to know that you do have a friend nearby if you ever need anything hun
- Thread Starter Thread Starter
- #48
I appreciate it. I'm actually not in Clarksville anymore. I have moved back to extreme south Alabama. Trying to start life over. I don't know how to change my location though... --sigh-- I'll try to figure that out tomorrow.
