- Joined
- May 11, 2006
- Messages
- 8,028
- Purraise
- 22
I just experienced a VERY scary confrontation with a coworker, male, much taller than I, who flew into a rage and started slamming things around his desk and office simply because I mentioned to him that he hadn't chosen a specific setting for a printout that we are supposed to now be sure to select each time we print to that printer.
He went WAY out of control, and as I have been in abusive relationships in the past, I backed out of the room and tried to end the confrontation as quickly as possible.
He was venomous to me, and when I told him he didn't need to be so snippy with me, that I wasn't attacking him, he started yelling that I'm the snippiest person he's ever met and that I'm snippy to him every single day.
This, is pure bull. While I do have a tendancy to sound witchy at times, I'm a very nice person and I treat others the way that I would like to be treated. I certainly don't fly off the handle the way this guy just did!!
Now here I sit at my desk, shaking and upset, trying to figure out if there was ANYTHING I could have done to diffuse that confrontation. I tried walking away from him and that only made him angrier - you should have heard the banging coming from his office as I walked back to mine!
Then he actually came to my office and stood above my desk yelling at me - I don't even know what he said, all I wanted to do was sink into the floor and disappear - I don't feel that I did ANYTHING to warrant such an attack! And that's exactly what it was, an attack on me!!!
When people are in a rage, there is no such thing as reason - there I sat, a complete victim, unable to figure out what to say or do that would make him stop yelling at me like I'm the worst person in the world.
I can't go to my boss - he's in absentia, and we are lucky to see him once a month, if that. He is a managing partner whose REAL job is to maintain and race our owner's sailboat/yacht, and they are currently doing a race called the Swan Cup in Italy.
Even if I did talk to him about it, it is HIGHLY unlikely that he would do anything. He'd be more inclined to believe that I was just being a witch, because he's a bit of a boys clubber, if you know what I mean.
And beyond that, the coworker, although he's been here for less time than I have, has been given a larger set of responsibilities (again, I see the boys club theme) which on the surface is fine with me. I'm in sales, and my responsibilities are sales, period. I don't want to be responsible for things that won't directly increase my commission and take time away from my being able to close sales.
I've sent an email to our part time office manager, so at least I have this documented, but it's not the first time this guy has flown into a rage in the office, and I KNOW it won't be the last.
I shouldn't have to be subjected to this kind of treatment, EVER!!! I really like my job and don't want to have to look for another, but I will, darn it, if that's what I have to do!!!
Do any of you have any ideas or suggestions about how to handle this guy as we move forward? I've been here at this company for 20 months, and this guy has been here for just 9 months. My sales have been stellar - my goal is 25% growth and my average for the year is beating that by an additional 18%. I don't feel like my job is in danger, just my sense of personal comfort within the office, and my emotional well-being.
I think it's time to get my resume together, which sucks, because I like my job, I like the commute, I like my other coworkers, for the most part, and I like my customers. There aren't many mailing list companies in my area at all, so finding another job doing the same thing will be close to impossible.
I don't like feeling this way AT ALL. I don't like feeling scared that a coworker may hit me. I don't like being afraid that he'll throw something at me. I don't like being scared and upset in the office because of something so STUPID as a missed printer setting, that I was stupid enough to have mentioned - because it's important and will save the company money in addition to reducing wear on the printer in question!
Oh my - what would you do if you were me???
He went WAY out of control, and as I have been in abusive relationships in the past, I backed out of the room and tried to end the confrontation as quickly as possible.
He was venomous to me, and when I told him he didn't need to be so snippy with me, that I wasn't attacking him, he started yelling that I'm the snippiest person he's ever met and that I'm snippy to him every single day.
This, is pure bull. While I do have a tendancy to sound witchy at times, I'm a very nice person and I treat others the way that I would like to be treated. I certainly don't fly off the handle the way this guy just did!!
Now here I sit at my desk, shaking and upset, trying to figure out if there was ANYTHING I could have done to diffuse that confrontation. I tried walking away from him and that only made him angrier - you should have heard the banging coming from his office as I walked back to mine!
Then he actually came to my office and stood above my desk yelling at me - I don't even know what he said, all I wanted to do was sink into the floor and disappear - I don't feel that I did ANYTHING to warrant such an attack! And that's exactly what it was, an attack on me!!!
When people are in a rage, there is no such thing as reason - there I sat, a complete victim, unable to figure out what to say or do that would make him stop yelling at me like I'm the worst person in the world.
I can't go to my boss - he's in absentia, and we are lucky to see him once a month, if that. He is a managing partner whose REAL job is to maintain and race our owner's sailboat/yacht, and they are currently doing a race called the Swan Cup in Italy.
Even if I did talk to him about it, it is HIGHLY unlikely that he would do anything. He'd be more inclined to believe that I was just being a witch, because he's a bit of a boys clubber, if you know what I mean.
And beyond that, the coworker, although he's been here for less time than I have, has been given a larger set of responsibilities (again, I see the boys club theme) which on the surface is fine with me. I'm in sales, and my responsibilities are sales, period. I don't want to be responsible for things that won't directly increase my commission and take time away from my being able to close sales.
I've sent an email to our part time office manager, so at least I have this documented, but it's not the first time this guy has flown into a rage in the office, and I KNOW it won't be the last.
I shouldn't have to be subjected to this kind of treatment, EVER!!! I really like my job and don't want to have to look for another, but I will, darn it, if that's what I have to do!!!
Do any of you have any ideas or suggestions about how to handle this guy as we move forward? I've been here at this company for 20 months, and this guy has been here for just 9 months. My sales have been stellar - my goal is 25% growth and my average for the year is beating that by an additional 18%. I don't feel like my job is in danger, just my sense of personal comfort within the office, and my emotional well-being.
I think it's time to get my resume together, which sucks, because I like my job, I like the commute, I like my other coworkers, for the most part, and I like my customers. There aren't many mailing list companies in my area at all, so finding another job doing the same thing will be close to impossible.
I don't like feeling this way AT ALL. I don't like feeling scared that a coworker may hit me. I don't like being afraid that he'll throw something at me. I don't like being scared and upset in the office because of something so STUPID as a missed printer setting, that I was stupid enough to have mentioned - because it's important and will save the company money in addition to reducing wear on the printer in question!
Oh my - what would you do if you were me???