Started feeding a confirmed stray a few mos ago. He was showing up when i left and when i got home religiously. Decided to “adopt” him, but wanted to take it slow for him. I put in a cat door that only goes to a small room in my house (i have another cat). He started coming in more frequently, stayed often when he was alone (have cam)and enjoyed my company too. I took him to vet to get shots and bloodwork. It seemed around this time he started to be more unpredictable when he would be there and with much less frequency. He now only comes to eat and quickly leaves. I hate the idea of forcing him in any way. What should I do? Should I get rid of cat door? I did put a Feliway diffuser out also around the time that i brought him back from vet, could that be having the wrong effect on him somehow? Trust broken? Another neighborhood sucker? this was at least 3 weeks ago. Any advice appreciated.
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Did I ruin our budding friendship?
- Thread starter Elvey
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Three weeks in my books isn’t a long time…you’ll woo him back. I wouldn’t get rid of the cat door. Not knowing your geographical situation though, cat doors can invite in raccoons. I think you have a good thing going: cats just like to test our hearts. Did the vet also neuter him?
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- #3
Thanks for the reply. I suppose 3 wks isn't long, but prior it had seemed like he was acclimating to being inside more, however it is getting warmer, so there is that. And i do wonder about the Feliway, since it seemed he seemed antsy to leave after I had that running? Coincidentally I am to take him to the Vet tomorrow for is neuter (hoping he will be around to do so) and will need to lock him in the catdoor room for a few days, I am certain he will be climbing the walls and miserable about that. any advice about his neuter confinement, post neuter behavior would also be appreciated. One other thing, if he has another kind soul food source or multiple, since he does often leave my food alone, and he may be perfectly ok with sleeping elsewhere…how do you have an outdoor cat understand you would like to be his full-time family? My cat exp has been indoorsies. Thanks
I'd get rid of the Feliway, just in case. And I would seriously consider not confining him after the neuter. There are tons of cats that are neutered via TNR programs that are right back outside once they leave the hospital. You can discuss this aspect with your vet, just to see what they think. Tbh, if you confine him, it needs to be the start of making him your pet, meaning you need to have made plans to begin integration into your home.
You might consider contacting some of the neighbors to see if they are feeding him, just so you know and that they know he is being neutered. That way all of you can keep an eye on him. It is highly likely that he will tend to stay away afterward just from fear of being trapped again. If the warm weather is not what is affecting how much he stays around you, then he will over time get passed all of this and come around more often. It might just take some time.
While there could be an issue with other animals using the cat door, it apparently hasn't been an issue so far, so I would keep it.
You might consider contacting some of the neighbors to see if they are feeding him, just so you know and that they know he is being neutered. That way all of you can keep an eye on him. It is highly likely that he will tend to stay away afterward just from fear of being trapped again. If the warm weather is not what is affecting how much he stays around you, then he will over time get passed all of this and come around more often. It might just take some time.
While there could be an issue with other animals using the cat door, it apparently hasn't been an issue so far, so I would keep it.
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- #5
I got rid of the Feliway last night and coincidently he was hanging out in the room today!
Assuming he shows up tonight so I can take him to vet
, I will notify the one other neighbor I know of that originally fed him.
As for the neuter, I had been thinking of keeping him inside for at least 24 hrs. I had thought maybe on day 2, to let him investigate my house 1. Because I do want him to get use to the idea and 2. To introduce what would hopefully seem a better situation than confinement. That all said, it might be a bit all too much right after his neuter??
Because I was also thinking that his best medicine would be what is least stressful… and that would be letting him do his usual life outside. However, at some point I need to start this integration with him so he does acclimate. I am just unsure what that looks like exactly, my hope (plan) was that eventually after his neuter, he would stick around longer periods and it would be a gradual decision on his part
. I had also thought about starting with confining him in at nights at least (but he may just never come then)
I also want him to eventually meet my f cat. They have seen each other through a glass door on a number of occasions. She is smitten with this handsome lothario and can't wait to meet him. He seems mildly curious but mostly indifferent to her.
Maybe that is all the wrong approach? I think being more forecful with this would be easier if I didn't work such a long day. I also don't want him to have bad associations with me.
Anyway I feel a bit adrift with this and truly appreciate all the advice I can get.
thanks for listening to me and my over thinking it all perhaps. .
Assuming he shows up tonight so I can take him to vet
, I will notify the one other neighbor I know of that originally fed him. As for the neuter, I had been thinking of keeping him inside for at least 24 hrs. I had thought maybe on day 2, to let him investigate my house 1. Because I do want him to get use to the idea and 2. To introduce what would hopefully seem a better situation than confinement. That all said, it might be a bit all too much right after his neuter??
Because I was also thinking that his best medicine would be what is least stressful… and that would be letting him do his usual life outside. However, at some point I need to start this integration with him so he does acclimate. I am just unsure what that looks like exactly, my hope (plan) was that eventually after his neuter, he would stick around longer periods and it would be a gradual decision on his part
. I had also thought about starting with confining him in at nights at least (but he may just never come then) I also want him to eventually meet my f cat. They have seen each other through a glass door on a number of occasions. She is smitten with this handsome lothario and can't wait to meet him. He seems mildly curious but mostly indifferent to her.
Maybe that is all the wrong approach? I think being more forecful with this would be easier if I didn't work such a long day. I also don't want him to have bad associations with me.
Anyway I feel a bit adrift with this and truly appreciate all the advice I can get.
thanks for listening to me and my over thinking it all perhaps. .
I am glad to hear he hung around more! You know, I can't be of much help, because when it comes right down to it you kind of have to go with your gut on this. What you feel best doing is the way forward.
Maybe some others will come along and have stronger feelings one way or the other. If that is truly what you want, then I sure hope they do.
Either way, keep us posted!
Maybe some others will come along and have stronger feelings one way or the other. If that is truly what you want, then I sure hope they do.
Either way, keep us posted!
Hi
Here with the stronger feelings
Did he show up so you could take him in to the vet?
If you can keep him in for 24 hours, you can keep him in for longer, and begin the process of helping him become an indoor kitty. I'm one of those who believes this is a much better approach (indoor only, with supervision outside on a leash or in a catio) for his safety.
I wouldn't let him roam the rest of your house yet. One of the reasons is that you'll want to follow the information in this, to be certain they really will get along;
How To Successfully Introduce Cats [The Ultimate Guide] - TheCatSite
Here with the stronger feelings
Did he show up so you could take him in to the vet?
If you can keep him in for 24 hours, you can keep him in for longer, and begin the process of helping him become an indoor kitty. I'm one of those who believes this is a much better approach (indoor only, with supervision outside on a leash or in a catio) for his safety.
I wouldn't let him roam the rest of your house yet. One of the reasons is that you'll want to follow the information in this, to be certain they really will get along;
How To Successfully Introduce Cats [The Ultimate Guide] - TheCatSite
Furballs mom said pretty much everything I was going to.
I've been doing rescue over 20yrs and about 20% of mine were bad situations from the shelter and the rest all ferals at one time.
All the ferals were originally outdoor cats and acclimated quite well. Only 1 was neutered and then released. I was an idiot. We planned on moving in another 3 months and I should've just kept him indoors. Instead I had to halt loading up the big truck for 4hrs while I say with a drop trap for this kitty. I was late to signing papers for my house the next day because of it.
Now? None of my former ferals want to go outside. All run away from the door when someone comes to open it, even after sitting there stating out at the birds and squirrels. They soon realize how good they've got it. In the beginning you need to watch that door though.
Also, that drop trap kitty? Took 3months to fully come around and trust us. We had just moved cross country (I couldn't leave his scrawny butt behind) so it probably didn't help. But we started real slow. It was different for him as he'd never been inside our home before. It was just
1, 2, 3, Let's go! But patience and time is what earned his love and trust. Nothing beats the love a feral gives you. To know someone who's had such a hard life chose to love and trust you.
I'd just keep him in. That was my mistake after the neuter. He might complain at first, but you are giving him the best life and he'll adjust soon enough. Just leave him in that room though while he's healing. As you said, you want him most comfortable. His known surroundings will be just that. Plus you wouldn't want him jumping up high of he feels the need to get away quick for the other cat. Stitches. There is a thread here about acclimating if not sure. It typically only takes my monsters I've got here a full week to do this. But could be a little longer. I've got 1 cat that had her own big bedroom to herself, because while we tried, she never got to liking or feeling comfortable with other cats. They don't like her, she doesn't like them. And she's got IBD that moved on to small cell lymphoma in the gut. So I pamper her with whatever she needs. Even if it's her own room. At least yours seems interested and friendly towards the new guy. That's a good sign.
And thank you for caring for the little guy. We definitely need a lot more people like you out there. You may feel like you're only 1 person. But you will be his everything now. And your baby will have a new friend for those long days.
I've been doing rescue over 20yrs and about 20% of mine were bad situations from the shelter and the rest all ferals at one time.
All the ferals were originally outdoor cats and acclimated quite well. Only 1 was neutered and then released. I was an idiot. We planned on moving in another 3 months and I should've just kept him indoors. Instead I had to halt loading up the big truck for 4hrs while I say with a drop trap for this kitty. I was late to signing papers for my house the next day because of it.
Now? None of my former ferals want to go outside. All run away from the door when someone comes to open it, even after sitting there stating out at the birds and squirrels. They soon realize how good they've got it. In the beginning you need to watch that door though.
Also, that drop trap kitty? Took 3months to fully come around and trust us. We had just moved cross country (I couldn't leave his scrawny butt behind) so it probably didn't help. But we started real slow. It was different for him as he'd never been inside our home before. It was just
1, 2, 3, Let's go! But patience and time is what earned his love and trust. Nothing beats the love a feral gives you. To know someone who's had such a hard life chose to love and trust you.
I'd just keep him in. That was my mistake after the neuter. He might complain at first, but you are giving him the best life and he'll adjust soon enough. Just leave him in that room though while he's healing. As you said, you want him most comfortable. His known surroundings will be just that. Plus you wouldn't want him jumping up high of he feels the need to get away quick for the other cat. Stitches. There is a thread here about acclimating if not sure. It typically only takes my monsters I've got here a full week to do this. But could be a little longer. I've got 1 cat that had her own big bedroom to herself, because while we tried, she never got to liking or feeling comfortable with other cats. They don't like her, she doesn't like them. And she's got IBD that moved on to small cell lymphoma in the gut. So I pamper her with whatever she needs. Even if it's her own room. At least yours seems interested and friendly towards the new guy. That's a good sign.
And thank you for caring for the little guy. We definitely need a lot more people like you out there. You may feel like you're only 1 person. But you will be his everything now. And your baby will have a new friend for those long days.
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- #9
He showed up last night, fully expecting to eat and run back outside to keep musking it up. Honestly, I have never smelled him quite so potent. He had been having a good night apparently. It was a stressful night for him inside. Looking for exits, clawed around the window frames, he may have been hoping they function like the cat door.
this AM we had quite a struggle to get him in the carrier
. In the past he has been pretty chill to put in there.
But he is at vet now, please send him some good wishes!
When I mentioned having him check out my house, I meant without my girl there. I’d have to sequester her into a room. She was allowed to check out his space while he wasn't there.
Furballsmom
do you think I could keep him in for short periods of time and get him acclimated that way, or do you think this is a cold turkey kind of endeavor. As I said before, I would definitely be more forceful about this if I was home more. That bit concerns me.
I definitely plan to take their meeting slow. It has been going on for a while. I did the scent exchange and all that. But have no intention to just plop them together in a room. she is 5 lbs smaller than him.
thanks all!
this AM we had quite a struggle to get him in the carrier
. In the past he has been pretty chill to put in there.But he is at vet now, please send him some good wishes!
When I mentioned having him check out my house, I meant without my girl there. I’d have to sequester her into a room. She was allowed to check out his space while he wasn't there.
Furballsmom
do you think I could keep him in for short periods of time and get him acclimated that way, or do you think this is a cold turkey kind of endeavor. As I said before, I would definitely be more forceful about this if I was home more. That bit concerns me. I definitely plan to take their meeting slow. It has been going on for a while. I did the scent exchange and all that. But have no intention to just plop them together in a room. she is 5 lbs smaller than him.
thanks all!
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- #10
tyleete
thanks for the kind words!There it’s definitely two schools of thought. It seems to go cold turkey, or to do it gradually.
I was surprised he scratched all the window frames in the room since he’s stayed in there overnight a few times before and had never done that, not even close. I can only hope it’s his hormones and not that he’s decided he can’t stand being here.
. I really apprecaite all the support. It does make me feel like I am not alone in this endeavor. So thank you all. .
Hi, you're definitely not alone and you and he have all our best wishes!
Having him neutered will help things quite a lot. Keeping him in, and not letting him out (unless he's on a leash with you on the other end ) is simply so much better for his safety.
and you and he have all our best wishes!Having him neutered will help things quite a lot. Keeping him in, and not letting him out (unless he's on a leash with you on the other end
) is simply so much better for his safety.
I hope all goes well with the vet and neuter!! I am guessing he was a bit harder to deal with getting him in the carrier due to being held inside all night. Hormones could be playing a role too, especially with regard to the scratched window frames.
I am not sure that if you don't do this transition from outdoor to indoor "cold turkey' that it won't turn into an issue. Not too many folks I know let a stray cat intermittently go outside once they've decided to keep them as a pet. In his room, make sure that he has low to the ground (due to neuter recovery) hiding places so he has a refuse initially. Anything that he is used to - toys, food/water dishes, litter box, etc. should be in that room with him. He really should remain in that room for a while before letting him roam the house. The point is to give him one space to adjust to first, and then introduce him to other spaces thereafter. It might not be as crucial if he has been in other locations of your home before. It would probably be a good idea to clear stuff out of that room, especially if he could harm anything, or himself, while you are not home.
The one thing you do need to do is make sure he cannot get outside through the cat door, or dash the door when you are coming and going. If you have another way to get out of the house, you might want to use it for now. Any chance that you work close enough to home to take a lunch break to check on him? If not, that is fine - just an added bonus if you can.
Let us know how his neuter goes!
I am not sure that if you don't do this transition from outdoor to indoor "cold turkey' that it won't turn into an issue. Not too many folks I know let a stray cat intermittently go outside once they've decided to keep them as a pet. In his room, make sure that he has low to the ground (due to neuter recovery) hiding places so he has a refuse initially. Anything that he is used to - toys, food/water dishes, litter box, etc. should be in that room with him. He really should remain in that room for a while before letting him roam the house. The point is to give him one space to adjust to first, and then introduce him to other spaces thereafter. It might not be as crucial if he has been in other locations of your home before. It would probably be a good idea to clear stuff out of that room, especially if he could harm anything, or himself, while you are not home.
The one thing you do need to do is make sure he cannot get outside through the cat door, or dash the door when you are coming and going. If you have another way to get out of the house, you might want to use it for now. Any chance that you work close enough to home to take a lunch break to check on him? If not, that is fine - just an added bonus if you can.
Let us know how his neuter goes!
Oh, and one more thing about the cat door. If you can, I strongly suggest you nail a piece of cardboard across it so that he doesn't think his cat door is there anymore.
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- #14
Thank you! I’ll do what I can. Wish I did work close, I have over an hour commute.
The photo is from this winter, when I thought he was the neighbor’s farm cat, he seemed clean and healthy. I later found out he showed up a few mos prior and was infact staying in the farm’s empty coop, being fed. The farm family didn't want him due to their dogs not liking cats.
…more relaxing times in his sunroom.
The photo is from this winter, when I thought he was the neighbor’s farm cat, he seemed clean and healthy. I later found out he showed up a few mos prior and was infact staying in the farm’s empty coop, being fed. The farm family didn't want him due to their dogs not liking cats.
…more relaxing times in his sunroom.
How adorable!!
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That's a plump clean cat. I bet someone raised him in a home then took him to the country and left him.
Isn't he just the cutest little man! And he looks perfectly at ease in that bed. He'll do just fine.
I'm with the above. Better safe than sorry. There are just so many dangers out there to such small creatures.
Wishing him warm fuzzies in recovery and his wonderful new indoor life.
I'm with the above. Better safe than sorry. There are just so many dangers out there to such small creatures.
Wishing him warm fuzzies in recovery and his wonderful new indoor life.
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- #18
He is home. Doing ok! Vet thought I should confine him to a smaller room. He is in my bathroom, but still trying to find exits. Ready to jump at the mirror kind of thing. Hoping he calms down. My female has been nosey through the door but quite sympathetic. He is very grumpy about it all. Understandably. Thanks for the well wishes. I know they helped.
I Ahve 3 cats outdoor to indoor. Kitten to senior. No introduction except for coco. 2 play together. Other is tolerated. All female indoor only. I had no trouble rescuing them now have no intrance in the outdoors. Of course, no cats alike!
With the wonderful help of everyone on this site, I have been going through the process of bringing a male outside cat indoors. The main thing I've learned is to not rush anything. Let him become the master of his new room. He needs to be comfortable and trusting in that space before he starts to gradually explore the house. It took about a month in his room before I opened up more of my house. Your cat will adjust and be fine, but let him take as long as it takes. I definitely would not let him outside again. What would you do if he left to explore and didn't come back? You are doing great! What a lucky cat!
