My experience has shown me that that will get you the opposite of what you want from him. He might even start fighting with the other cats. I'd try extra lovin' for him, if you want him closer.
Good luck and let us know how it goes.
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Cozmo is making me sad,,,,
- Thread starter tom w
- Start Date
Good luck and let us know how it goes.
- Thread Starter Thread Starter
- #42
Tom am i reading you right here?. Are you thinking of giving Cozmo back just because he's not a lap cat or one who likes being cuddled?
Has he been neutered yet? How can you expect any changes if he hasn't been neutered?
Tom, you really do need to let Cozmo be Cozmo as you said. There is never going to be another Tuffy, and you need to accept that. It isn't fair to you or Cozmo.
When my Molly died and we adopted Abby, we made sure to adopt a cat that looked nothing like Molly. Abby is a completely different cat than Molly. Her personality isn't similar at all, nor do I expect it to be. We are making new, different memories with Abby. She is so special in her own way. You are putting Tuffy up on a pedestal, and in doing so damaging your relationship with Cozmo.
I am a bit shocked by these last two statements. You don't practice "tough love" on a cat. The only way you are going to get Cozmo's love and trust is to earn it. Pushing him away and trying to teach him a lesson is never going to get you that. Cozmo isn't human, no matter how much you want him to be and does not have human thought processes. Earning trust doesn't happen overnight it takes months and sometimes years. I am talking from experience Tom. My Abby is a scared, nervous cat that does not trust easily. She was sick when we adopted her and we had to give her numerous medications for a very long time. She grew to hate us. She couldn't understand what was going on and was scared. She is our only cat. According to your thinking, I should have traded her in for a friendlier model. That certainly wasn't an option for us, and two years later she has progressed quite nicely. She is not a lap cat and I would love for her to be more affectionate, but it may happen with time. Her friendliness grows by leaps and bounds every day.
When you adopted Cozmo, you adopted him for life. You agreed to be his protector and owner. You don't just bring a cat back because he doesn't fit your preconceived ideas of how he should act.
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I did the same thing when my beloved tabby died at 16.
I adopted Dexter & Sadie...as far away from a tabby, as a kitties can get.
That was not an easy decision until I realized that Mew was gone....
I would be doing any other kitty a disservice by hoping he would be like Mew.
I was going to beg you not to return Cosmo but....
if that is how you feel,
maybe Cosmo would be better off with people who love him for who his is.
I hope that you are able to re-think your relationship with Cosmo and take joy in the simple fact that he is sharing his precious life with you.
- Thread Starter Thread Starter
- #46
I am sorry for the stuff I said in those posts. I was having a crappy day and I let it get to me. I could never give Cozmo back. I am used to cats that only had me for company and would sleep with me or lay on me when I watched TV. Then Tuffy came along and he was so special to me that I miss what I had with him and I wanted to have that again I guess. I could never hurt our animals, I would never forgive myself if I did.
I am waiting for the vet to call soon I hope so he can get neutered. I forget sometimes that he is young and learning who he is yet.
Forgive me for the stuff I said and I am sorry if I upset any of you for talking so stupid.
Tom
I am waiting for the vet to call soon I hope so he can get neutered. I forget sometimes that he is young and learning who he is yet.
Forgive me for the stuff I said and I am sorry if I upset any of you for talking so stupid.
Tom
Tom i'm really pleased to hear your not giving up on Cozmo, because by now there must be some sort of bond there with you both after all this time?. I know when i first saw Rosie and Sophie i bonded with them on eye contact, and i couldn't imagine giving them up now
It's quite obvious how special Tuffy was to you, and i think like my Rosie who's well known on TCS for the open mouthed faces she makes, they broke the mould when they were born and there will never be another like them, but that's a good thing because their different and it's those special memories of Tuffy that you can keep forever, but i'm sure Cozmo has some special little quirks that your other cats don't have as well?.
It's quite obvious how special Tuffy was to you, and i think like my Rosie who's well known on TCS for the open mouthed faces she makes, they broke the mould when they were born and there will never be another like them, but that's a good thing because their different and it's those special memories of Tuffy that you can keep forever, but i'm sure Cozmo has some special little quirks that your other cats don't have as well?.
I agree with Susan Tom, every single cat is special and different and as much as I miss my Simon I would never want another cat to be like him, he was very special and he will always live in my heart, no kitty will ever replace him there, but my other kitties also have a place in my heart, for different reasons than Simon. And I think you hit the nail on the head Tom when you said that Cozmo is still learning who he is
in my sig, my girl Demeter, I had to give meds to almost 2 months ago and she still runs from me
but I know with time she'll come to trust me again, and I'm more than willing to wait. I know you love Cozmo and he loves you, its just a different kind of love than you and Tuffy shared
- Thread Starter Thread Starter
- #49
I agree with everyone. My Sweetie is only affectionate in the morning and when I come home from work. My juno only lets me pet her in the bathroom. Neither are lap cats. But they are my babies. I'm not allowed to have pets where I live but I would move if management wanted me to give them up. I will take care of them for all of their lives, or mine ends which ever comes first. God gave me these animals to take care of.
Aww... what a sweetie! Keep respecting and loving him and he's going to come around, he just needs time.
You might need time, too, to continue grieving for Tuffy, and to realize that Cozmo is a completely different personality.
Thanks for posting the beautiful pic.
Cheers, from
SwampWitch
- Thread Starter Thread Starter
- #52
Hi, the vet just called, they have a cancellation on Monday so Cozmo is going in first thing Monday morning to get neutered. I have to take a cheap 20lb bag of cat litter in with us to get the 20% off price. They then give the cat litter they get to shelters that need it.
He has all his shots already so I don't have to pay for all of that on top of the neutering. I am sure the little guy will be scared,but I think he is tough and will bounce back real fast.
He is not going to like not having anything to eat the night before though, he will be tearing the house apart to find some food I am sure.
He has all his shots already so I don't have to pay for all of that on top of the neutering. I am sure the little guy will be scared,but I think he is tough and will bounce back real fast.
He is not going to like not having anything to eat the night before though, he will be tearing the house apart to find some food I am sure.
The neutering will help, for sure (in the long run). Although our kitties act mad when we have to give them meds or take them to the vet, I firmly believe they know that we are helping them.
My husband's cat Oberon, gets really mad at him every time my husband has to travel, and Oberon snubs him when he's back. But then he's O.K., and we figure that's just Oberon's way of letting my husband know he doesn't like it when he leaves.
Tom, Cozmos such a handsome little boy, and a gorgeous colour!
Let us know how it goes on monday but i'm sending him (((((healing vibes))))) over to help.
Awww look at his little pink paw pads and nose
Let us know how it goes on monday but i'm sending him (((((healing vibes))))) over to help.
Awww look at his little pink paw pads and nose
He is very handsome! unusual how he's gray and brown in his tabby stripes
good luck on the snipping!
- Thread Starter Thread Starter
- #56
I disagree I think he should be left alone, it sounds like Tom is smothering poor Cozmo, I think the earlier advice given to just leave him be was the best advice. I think the constant attempts to handle him is going to end up making Cozmo hate his owner.
I think if he's like a lot of other male cats, he may just not feel cuddly towards other males, human, feline or otherwise, and that's a fact of life. He may never be as cuddly as you want him to be, so consider that as a long term possibility. Also, having had to give him a hard time with the meds, and vet visits probably hasn't endeared you to him well either, but in a few months he may well 'come back', especially after the operation - just keep in mind that he might not come all the way back, and be ready to take good care of him anyway (which I think you are).
- Thread Starter Thread Starter
- #59
I have learned that Cozmo is going to be Cozmo and I can't change that. He is still growing and I am still learning who Cozmo is, I need to look at what makes him Cozmo and stop wanting another Tuffy.
He is getting better again about spending time with me but it has to be when he wants to and I have to understand there is allot going on in his little head right now and I have to let him do his own thing. Its not just me he is changing with, He won't let anyone hold him if he don't want to be held which makes it easier for me to deal with.
He is getting better again about spending time with me but it has to be when he wants to and I have to understand there is allot going on in his little head right now and I have to let him do his own thing. Its not just me he is changing with, He won't let anyone hold him if he don't want to be held which makes it easier for me to deal with.
I think it is way too soon to label this young kitty. My cat is now almost 1 year old and has changed so much since when I got him at 4 months. I really thought I had made a mistake because he wasn't very attention -seeking and would rarely sit on me or even the bed or furnitures (only the floor).
He has gotten so much better now. He waits until my kids go to bed each night and then for me to get in bed so he can take a nap on me while I watch tv. It used to be he would only lay on me in the bed but twice this week he laid on me while I was on the couch (for 10 whole minutes).
Anyhow, my point is I think they really grow and change in the first year at least. Your cat may be different because there are other cats in the house that he interacts with. I do have to add that, though he tolerates my husband and kids, my kitty by far loves me the most. Maybe male cats do prefer female owners???
He has gotten so much better now. He waits until my kids go to bed each night and then for me to get in bed so he can take a nap on me while I watch tv. It used to be he would only lay on me in the bed but twice this week he laid on me while I was on the couch (for 10 whole minutes).
Anyhow, my point is I think they really grow and change in the first year at least. Your cat may be different because there are other cats in the house that he interacts with. I do have to add that, though he tolerates my husband and kids, my kitty by far loves me the most. Maybe male cats do prefer female owners???
