Confused about new roommate-Purring while tail is flickering

[aiendreas]

Hi, I'm a first time cat owner. I picked up my new roommate from the local shelter and... he's adjusting. He's still not sure of me, of my apartment, but he's exploring and playing, but also hiding. It's only been a couple of weeks.

Anyway, all of the websites I read say that when a cat's tail is flickering, that means that they want you to leave them alone.

My new buddy doesn't really dig me, until I go asleep. Then he jumps into bed and steals the covers. When my morning alarm goes off, he waits for me to pet him and he purrs like crazy. The rest of the day he is still skittish, but sleeping with me and the morning pets, he digs.

But when I am petting him in my bed, and he is purring, his tail flicks back and forth. So I am confused as to whether I should stop because of his tail, or keep going because he is purring.

I mean, eventually I have to stop because I have to take a shower and get ready for work, and when I come home he's the same skittish guy until I go to sleep.

I'm just confused about the simultaneous tail flickering and purring.

EDIT: He's not winking, he has one eye! A bad herpes outbreak.

 

[princessesme]

First -- WELCOME to TCS!Hopefully some others can come along, who are more experienced with cat behavior, but it sounds like to me that he still might be a little unsure, is all. I think it's definitely a good sign that he will crawl into bed with you at night. To help with his skittishness, you may want to try some Feliway plug-ins. () Usually local pet stores will sell it as well. It is a little pricey, but it is well worth it to help kitties. I used it during when we first adopted each kitty, during the introductions, and when we moved to a new house and I think it definitely helped. When I first brought them home though, I kept them in a smaller room until they got used to the space. So, since he is roaming the house already, you may want to put it in a location that he is in most.Also, do you have play-time when you get home? That may be a good way to bond right when you come home.So what's his name?

 

[aiendreas]

I am using Feliway,now. That first week wasn't comfortable. I was so afraid that the neighbors would complain because of his yeaoling. I got the Feliway plugins and now he just goes from room to room and meows a lot.

I am his third home (he is four). I'm not sure about the first, but the second was a woman who had him for a year but the boyfriend was allergic.

I'm an American guy living in Korea so his name is Ooyoo, which means "Milk" in Korean. I think that is a terrible name! LOL

He was in a shelter in Korea but did not do well. I was told that the other cats were bullying him. He lost weight so he was sent to a foster home for a couple of months, a one room apartment (and did great and gained his weight back), then I found him a home in my four room apartment.

So he has been through a lot. My theory is that he is still trying to stake out his territory in his new surroundings. He has a safe room, but I guess he doesn't quite yet have a safe apartment!

EDIT: I try to play all of the time. Sometimes he plays with me, sometimes alone. I try not to force anything.

 

[otto]

A cat's tail expresses many things. Flicking the tail slowly back and forth can be a sign of contentment. If he wants you to stop petting he will let you know. Watch for ears going back, the skin on his back twitching, the tail starting to lash. Those are signs of over stimulation. Or he might just swat you without giving you any sign at all. But it sure sounds like he is enjoying the attention!

Congratulations on your new family member. I'm sure you and Ooyoo will be very happy together, once you get used to one another.

Cats can take quite a lot of time to adjust to changes in their lives. It sounds like he is doing very well with you. Cats like routine so do things at the same times each day as much as possible. Feed on a schedule, play at the same times, and so on. He will get used to your coming and goings, and someday may even begin to greet you at the door!

Welcome to TCS I look forward to hearing more stories about you and Ooyoo and your bonding moments. How old is he?

 

[catspaw66]

As the servant of another one-eyed cat, (herpes, too) I often see her purring and the tail making lazy flickers from side to side.  Your cat is very contented when doing that.

 

[aiendreas]

As the servant of another one-eyed cat, (herpes, too) I often see her purring and the tail making lazy flickers from side to side.  Your cat is very contented when doing that.

Thank you. I thought I was going mad with all of the conflicting advice online.

EDIT: For clarity.

 

[catspaw66]

You will probably get the best advice on this site.   Or maybe I'm just biased.

 

[stephanietx]

I agree, it's a sign of happiness and contentment.  All of my kitties do it, too.

You might want to see about purchasing a small stuffed animal for him to have as a "friend".  Sounds like he's calling for his friends when he's wandering from room to room.  Is he neutered?