So my cat is very finicky with her lovins. But she does love her momma. She has always been off standing towards company, including my family. But if you ignore her she is fine. I started dating a guy 4 months ago, and she hates him. She hisses and growls when he says anything to her, he tries feeding her per vet recommendations. But today, she lashed out as I was doing laundry, and I saw him kick at her. I of course yelled at him. I don't know if he is doing any harm to her. But I left her alone a couple of weeks ago with him, and she had diarrhea and it was everywhere. Now usually when she gets sick (vomit) or diarrhea, it's in the vicinity of her litter box. Not this time. My vet said it could have been stress related. My bf wants her gone, but she has been in my life for 3 years, him 4 months. So I don't know what to think. Any advice or ideas? I am a stubborn woman who doesn't want to give her up. Lol
-
Too many ads? Join our community of cat lovers now to reduce ads by 90%! Click here to join for free!
Concerned cat mom
- Thread starter tayl9408
- Start Date
- Joined
- Mar 15, 2016
- Messages
- 139
- Purraise
- 37
I'm kind of worried that he kicked at her when he thought you weren't looking, because if he's doing that other times when you aren't there it would be contributing to why she particularly dislikes him. If he's never had a cat before, you might have to sit him down and do some Cat 101 about how your cat likes to be handled, what works, how to avoid causing your cat stress, stuff like that. Since they dislike each other so much, I wouldn't leave him to care for her. She's your cat who you love, so honestly he just needs to understand that. It's unreasonable for someone you've been dating for 4 months to make those kinds of demands imo. Is there any way you could put her in another room while he's over? Then he can slowly reintroduce himself by making his only contact with her positive, like feeding her meals. Also, maybe he could play with her with a wand toy. That might be a way for them to bond.
Last edited:
- Joined
- Nov 2, 2015
- Messages
- 4
- Purraise
- 1
I'd be worried about the kicking too. It's one thing to not like her especially is she isn't being responsive to him. But I'm not sure there is any excuse to kick her. It seems very extreme and should never be your reaction to any animal. I definitely think reintroducing them may be something to work on but in the end you may have to make a choice. Just be careful and trust your gut.
That would be a deal breaker for me!! I have a magnet that was on my refrigerator before I was married that said "He asked me to choose between him or the cat(s)... I miss HIM sometimes"
Animals are very intuitive. If he insisted my cat had to go and didn't want to try for me then I would take that as a sign.
- Thread Starter Thread Starter
- #6
Thanks for the replies! I have tried sitting him down, even suggested just leaving her alone, because we all know our babies are finicky. But he doesn't get it. When my vet suggested ways, he was so upset about it. I keep telling him he can go and she can stay. He tries feeding her, playing with her, but after I posted this tonight, she jumped on the couch near next saw him and growled. He instantly hit towards her to "scare" her. I get so upset because I have to keep telling him to stop. She can be a bitch, but she's mine. Lol
If anybody ever said, to me, "It's either me or the cat," my answer would be, "It's been nice knowing ya'... Don't let the door hit your ass on the way out!"
If a person behaves violently toward animals, I would be concerned about how he will behave toward other people, too. Today, he might be hitting the cat. Tomorrow, he might be hitting other people.
If I were in your shoes, I'd tell him to either lay off the cat or get out.
If a person behaves violently toward animals, I would be concerned about how he will behave toward other people, too. Today, he might be hitting the cat. Tomorrow, he might be hitting other people.
If I were in your shoes, I'd tell him to either lay off the cat or get out.
I agree with Casper's human. If anyone ever kicked one of my cats they would be leaving. If this guy is trying to make you chose between him and your cat then I would chose the cat.
If this person really cared about you he would listen to you. In my opinion this behavior is a little too controlling. If he is treating your cat this way how do you know he will not get angry about something and turn his bad behavior on you. His behavior and actions are very disrespectful and I know personally this is not something I would tolerate.
I am very angry that he kicked your cat. I adopted a cat years ago that had been abused and it took a lot of hard work to prove to her that she was safe in my home. He needs to just leave your cat alone if he does not want to be around her.
If anyone ever tried to force me to chose between him and my cats they would be leaving. If someone really cares for you they will not treat you or your cat like this.
I have walked away from some bad relationships and this one is raising red flags already in my opinion.
I am happily married now and if anyone ever abused on of my cats my hubby and I would make them leave immediately.
If this person really cared about you he would listen to you. In my opinion this behavior is a little too controlling. If he is treating your cat this way how do you know he will not get angry about something and turn his bad behavior on you. His behavior and actions are very disrespectful and I know personally this is not something I would tolerate.
I am very angry that he kicked your cat. I adopted a cat years ago that had been abused and it took a lot of hard work to prove to her that she was safe in my home. He needs to just leave your cat alone if he does not want to be around her.
If anyone ever tried to force me to chose between him and my cats they would be leaving. If someone really cares for you they will not treat you or your cat like this.
I have walked away from some bad relationships and this one is raising red flags already in my opinion.
I am happily married now and if anyone ever abused on of my cats my hubby and I would make them leave immediately.
- Joined
- Apr 21, 2012
- Messages
- 2,668
- Purraise
- 713
OMG I would definitely get rid of the boyfriend and keep the cat! Definitely a deal-breaker. He's showing his true personality. He probably has been mean to the kitty and she won't forget it! Who knows what he might do to a small child that annoys him?
The way a person treats others who are weaker or more vulnerable than they are is indicative of his underlying personality. It is even more telling when that person conceals or lies about his behavior.
I bet you a nickel that, if you confront this guy about bullying your cat, his response will be something along the lines of, "I was only kidding around."
In my opinion, a person like that is a bully, a liar and a coward at heart. I also believe that it's only a matter of time before a person who behaves that way toward animals starts treating people like that.
I don't know you or your boyfriend except through what has been said here so I don't pretend to tell you what to do or how to think but I feel that I would be remiss if I didn't say what's on my mind. I have also had some bad relationships and have been through a difficult divorce. Your story raises some red flags in my head, too. At the same time, I must admit that my past experience might be coloring my perception of your story. I can only ask you to consider your situation but, at the same time, take me with a grain of salt.
Take what you like and leave the rest...
...but, in my opinion, your cat is trying to tell you something.
I think you should take your cat's advice.
I bet you a nickel that, if you confront this guy about bullying your cat, his response will be something along the lines of, "I was only kidding around."
In my opinion, a person like that is a bully, a liar and a coward at heart. I also believe that it's only a matter of time before a person who behaves that way toward animals starts treating people like that.
I don't know you or your boyfriend except through what has been said here so I don't pretend to tell you what to do or how to think but I feel that I would be remiss if I didn't say what's on my mind. I have also had some bad relationships and have been through a difficult divorce. Your story raises some red flags in my head, too. At the same time, I must admit that my past experience might be coloring my perception of your story. I can only ask you to consider your situation but, at the same time, take me with a grain of salt.
Take what you like and leave the rest...
...but, in my opinion, your cat is trying to tell you something.
I think you should take your cat's advice.
