Okay, I have to apologize in advance because I know that this thread is gonna be long and I'm not sure that I'm not gonna make much sense because I've very emotional right now
but I'll try to explain as best I can... I just need to get this out and maybe someone could offer some objective advice....
Um, where do I start... Well, some of you may have noticed that I've made mention to my 'friend', Adrian... I met Adrian almost a year ago... we met through a girl that I used to work with and long story short, we dont talk to that girl anymore because we found out that she had been lying to both of us about a lot of things... So, about 5 months ago we started spending a lot of time together... We've hung out EVERY DAY for the last 5 months, no exaggeration.... EVERY DAY with the exception of about 5 or 6 days... That's a lot of time to spend with someone... and I'm not talking a few hours here and there, I mean ALL DAY EVERY DAY sometimes for 4 or 5 straight days... 24/7... so it's safe to say that we get along very well and we know each other really well, too... It's also safe to say that I've started to have major feelings for him...
and, I"ve told him this... we've had a few conversations about it and I know that he was very hurt by his last girlfriend and he's made a decision not to be with anyone, he doesnt want to date anyone, sleep with anyone, nothing... but, I guess in my heart I felt that if he knew how I truly felt about him, he might be inclined to feel differently... So, here's my problem... I spoke to his best friend this morning and I told him how I feel about Adrian... that I love him, I want to be with him... that it's not just wanting to be with him for the sake of it, that I truly care about him, I dont want to hurt him... that I gave up practically everything for him, I got kicked out of my house because he is Cuban and I'm Italian and my father is very racist (to say the least)... I've proven my feelings for him over and over... I figured, Lyndon, being his best friend might be able to give me some advice or insight and he tried his best to do that without telling me exactly what Adrian had told him about me.. but, the way he made it sound to me was that Adrian liked me, he wants to be with me but he's scared and that I should talk to him and tell him how I feel... So, I did... it took a lot of courage to spill everything to him, to tell him all the thoughts I had about him, how much he meant to me but I did it anyway... and he told me exactly what he had told me before... "Lyz, I love you, you're my friend, but I dont wanna be with anyone... I've made a decision and that's how I feel"... so, Im brokenhearted...
I told him everything I wanted to tell him, I spilled my guts to him and he still doesnt want to be with me like that... yet, he still wants to spend all his time with me the way we always did... I told Lyndon what he said and he was shocked... He was like 'I'm surprised!" and I'm like 'So, then obviously, he said something different to you than he said to me because you wouldnt be surprised otherwise'... but, Lyndon still wont tell me what he said because he's his best friend and he cant tell me stuff that Adrian told him in confidence... So, I dont know what to do....
Um, where do I start... Well, some of you may have noticed that I've made mention to my 'friend', Adrian... I met Adrian almost a year ago... we met through a girl that I used to work with and long story short, we dont talk to that girl anymore because we found out that she had been lying to both of us about a lot of things... So, about 5 months ago we started spending a lot of time together... We've hung out EVERY DAY for the last 5 months, no exaggeration.... EVERY DAY with the exception of about 5 or 6 days... That's a lot of time to spend with someone... and I'm not talking a few hours here and there, I mean ALL DAY EVERY DAY sometimes for 4 or 5 straight days... 24/7... so it's safe to say that we get along very well and we know each other really well, too... It's also safe to say that I've started to have major feelings for him...