any of you experienced online dating?

[tara g]

I met my husband online, though it wasn't through a dating site, rather through a car forum.

I know a few people who have had good experiences using online dating sites (eharmony and match.com were the two they named). Plentyoffish seems to be big with the guys looking for hook ups from what I've seen (and heard the guys themselves) mentioned.

I can't really add much that hasn't already been mentioned though, so I will just wish you luck

 

[margecat]

That's how I met my wonderful husband...back in June, 2003! (We were married in October, 2004.) I met him on yahoo personals, though I had tried 1 or 2 other sites, like Match.com and some other one I can't remember.

Most of the guys I met were decent. I have a very good anti-weirdo radar for men, but even I turned it up to its highest level when doing online dating. I suggest that anyone else do the same. Be extra careful about whom and were you meet. There are some people on those sites who are just cruising for, shall we say, things other than true romance. (And some are married, too, to make that worse.) Don't seem too eager (guys pick up on that, and think you're there for the using). Get to "know" them online via chats, phone calls, etc. before even thinking about meeting them for real. And, when you meet them in person, tell someone their name, address, phone# AND where you are meeting them, and when you expect to be back home. Always meet them in a very public area where you would feel safe. Keep the first date light--maybe just coffee or dessert, then see what happens. And don't meet them at either your house, nor theirs. Meet them at the venue for the date. Don't go back to their or your house when the date ends.

All of the above is not meant to scare you off dating online! I just feel that I should give you the advice. Most of the time, you should be ok with meeting them from an online dating service.

Another tip: after the date, resist the temptation to log into the site to see if they've gone home after your date, and started searching the site again. Also, don't wait for him to get ahold of you again. If he does, great. In the meantime, don't turn down dates from other men, nor should you do that even after the second date, unless he suggests you both stop the dating service and he wants to date you exclusively (of course, you need to feel the same way). DH did that on our second date: 'I was, uhh, thinking of canceling the dating service tomorrow, so what do you think about you doing that, too?" (And I did!)

Just remember: you are your own woman, with an interesting past, present and future. You are not desperate for a man. You are going to have a few bumps in the dating world; just move on, and meet someone else. Men, in my experience, love women who are their own person, and are not clingers, and do interesting things. They like a challenge, too. They enjoy the chase, whether they realize it or not. Keep 'em chasing, and then YOU can decide when to be "caught"!

I also think, despite what others may say, that men should do the pursuing and asking out. Yeah, sure men love women who make the first move--often, because they think the woman is desperate or sexually aggressive--and so think they'll be able to bed them faster. If you're interested in a relationship, which it sounds like you are, this is not what you want. Make men earn the privilege of a relationship with you. You are unique, and a prize worth earning. You must tell yourself that, and exude that! On a more practical note, knowing who is supposed to do what in the relationship simplifies things, and prevents heartache. If you know the man is the pursuer, and does the calling first, and he does or doesn't, you know what's really going on. If he likes you, he'll make sure he calls. If he doesn't, that's his loss, and move on. Sure, that hurts, but it's better to have that minor bit of pain up front, than torturing yourself, sitting by the pc, awaiting an email that will never come.

Ok, I'll shut up now!

Give online dating a try (are there any sites for deaf singles, I wonder?), and I hope you find much happiness!

 

[misty8723]

Originally Posted by Ducman69

Much better than meeting someone elsewhere IMO!

Say I were to go to a bar or club. You can narrow down your choices by physical attraction. Then next you hang and spend tons of money on overpriced drinks, and after Q&A you really still only know a tiny bit about the person especially at a club where its noisy as heck. To even weed through three girls, its not only time consuming, but really expensive after the cover/drinks and perhaps dinner date to actually get a clue if this person is a waste of your time. If you love the game/hunt or don't care about personality/likes-dislikes since you're not looking for a real gf/bf, great, otherwise booooo, heh.

Online you can quickly narrow down to people in the approximate same socio-economic demographic that are into the same kind of things you are.

On the other hand, I met my DH in a bar in 1977. We are still together. And I got a pretty good idea of him the first night we met because we talked and talked and talked.

But I do agree there are many advantages to knowing right upfront that you are probably compatible with the person you're being set up with. If I ever had to do it again, I would go that route.