Ani's in the hospital

[coolcat]

My thoughts with you Lauren...

...

 

[bossinova]

Oh, Lauren! I am so sorry! I just read today this unfortunate turn of events, and my heart breaks for you. As many have said already, this was so far from what we expected (and I'm sure you, as well

). You've had so much to deal with these last few months. My heart goes out to you and the pain you are in. Rest assured that your baby girl Ani is spending quality time with your little man Trent at the Rainbow Bridge, and they eagerly await the day that you all will be reunited. They are your guardian angels, and return the unconditional love that you so unselfishly lavished upon them.

You and Sky are in my heart and prayers. I know it hurts so very badly, worse than words could ever express, but hang in there. Sky is there to help you through this, and so are all of us here at TCS. Please always remember that.

When you look to the sky, I know you will always remember your angels,

Ani and Trent

I always remember mine.

 

[emma's friend]

Originally Posted by AniSkyofTrent

Some say she held on for me. I try to believe that.

I belive that. My Katie waited until Emma showed up until she finally relaxed and passed on out of my life. It amazes me how much these animals really love and care for us. I know you're heartbroken and trying to be brave. I wish I could take some of your pain.

 

[aniskyoftrent]

Thank you so much for all your support and love. I am just stunned that I am here again, so soon after my loss of Trent. My heart hurts in such a way that I can't explain. I feel confused and scared. I question all the ways I have ever taken care of my sweeties. I believe I treated my babies with all the love I have. I loved them so much and there is no way they didn't see that. I hope they did see it. I didn't have a chance to say my goodbyes to

Precious Ani

I do my best to believe that when I write to her in my journal, she will hear my goodbyes. That baby will never know how much she has done for me. She kept me going when I didn't think I could last anymore. She is magical in every way

This hurts just too much, just way too much. I don't know how to think about what has happened. None of it seems real.
When trent was sick, I knew he would be going. Those last 2 weeks with him are extremely dear to me. I feel blessed that I had that.
I didn't have that time with Ani

I will keep trying to get through this. My head is not completely together with all this yet. I still am not fully aware that she is gone. It's just so beyond me.

Ani, I love you so much, my precious girl.. I look up at the sky, and that allows me to see, where it is you may be..
Flying over me, with all your beauty, with all your grace.. I love you, My Angel.. My adorable sweet face...
Forever Your Mommy, You are a part of me..

 

[pinkdaisy226]

Originally Posted by AniSkyofTrent

I question all the ways I have ever taken care of my sweeties. I believe I treated my babies with all the love I have. I loved them so much and there is no way they didn't see that. I hope they did see it.

You did treat them very well and I know they know that... you should not question how well you took care of them, I'm sure you were the best mommy you could be and you should try not to look back and doubt yourself. Ani was hurting and now she's not - now she's playing with her brother and looking down on you with love...

 

[berylayn]

Lauren,

I have been away from TCS for about a week now, and I just came across your thread. The emotional rollercoaster you have had to deal with this past week has been a rough one. You are such a strong person and I thank you for sharing all the ups and downs with us. I am so very sorry for your loss and wanted you to know that you are in my thoughts and prayers as well.

 

[myrage]

You will make it. It takes a day at a time. Once you are able to sort it out in your head, you will start healing again. Healing is a lifelong process.

I sympathise with you not getting to say bye to your girl. It hurts knowing it happened when you weren't expecting. She has heard your goodbyes, and she knows everything you are feeling.

While you are in a whirlwind of emotions, try to keep sight that we are all here.

As those emotions, denial, anger, hurt etc all start to let go of their grip on you, you will start to see things more clearly again. It's so rough for you to loose both of your babies in just 3 months. Siblings. Skylar is there now though.

Still here

 

[wellingtoncats]

Lauren you are still in my thoughts! Big hugs girlie!

 

[captiva]

Hugs to you, Lauren. It's so hard to understand sometimes. Life isn't always easy, is it?

The only thing that you can take comfort in right now is to know that you did take care of both of them the best that anyone could.

 

[sashacat421]

Lauren, I am so very, terribly sorry. I can only imagine. My arms are not big enough to comfort you in this type of loss. The only thing I do know is that Ani-kooky is there on your shoulder, whether you see her or not. Keep your faith. She is there with Trent.
Love,
Elizabeth

 

[zanniesmom]

Lauren, I hope you have someone you can talk to about this. If not, do you have an employee assistance program where they can get a counselor for you for short term counseling? When you lose a person there is lots of automatic support, but sometimes when you lose a pet people don't give you the grieving time and assistance that you need. I hope you aren't offended by this, I know I would need help if and when I lose one of my babies. And you have lost two within a very short time. Maybe your pastor? Becky

 

[ash_bct]

Lauren, what is there to say? When I just saw this thread in RB I was stunned...
Please never blame yourself! Ani is with her dear brother Trent now please believe that... they will both wait for you and the new Baby Skylar.
Try to stay strong for him now, let him comfort you when you need it most, he will know when that time is.
I won't say I can imagine your pain, but I do know the pain I am feeling for you right now... I understand the love you had for Ani as well as Trent and they both had to leave you too soon... this has to be too hard..
I know in time, you will be able to see the memories without pain, the happy times, and all these babies helped you through, until then I am here to help you through, never hesitate to ask me for anything you may need.
You are loved here Lauren, I am so sorry that you have to do this again

Ashley

 

[rapunzel47]

How did I miss this thread?? Oh, Lauren, I'm so sorry to hear the ordeal you've been through, and then Ani's unexpected passing. You did your best for her, dear, and she knows your love.

RIP sweet Ani

 

[valanhb]

Dear sweet Lauren...

Please, please do not blame yourself for this. And never ever doubt that both Trent and Ani knew the depths of your love for them and gave you back all of their love in return. I have been able to almost physically feel your love for them since your first post here. If I can feel that a thousand miles away, how strong must it have felt for them?? You did everything possible to give them the best lives possible, and you did. You did give them the best they could have ever had. And you will do the same for little Skylar, who will help you get through this horrible time.

 

[bossinova]

What can I say that hasn't already been said numerous times? My heart hurts so badly for you right now, I am crying along with you. I know you have tons of questions, and that's okay. But please don't ever doubt your quality of care that you provided your babies. You are an outstanding momma to them! And they know the depth of your love. I know it hurts worse than ever could have been imagined, but you will get through this. And don't lose sight of the fact that we're still all here for you, praying for strength and healing of your heart and mind. You did all you could for her, Lauren, and you must realize that. I wondered the same thing about Tank- did I do all I could? did I wait too long? what if they misdiagnosed him? But all of that is a waste of energy. Yes, you did all you could. No, you didn't wait too long. You did everything you could, Lauren, as quickly as you could. Ani wouldn't have asked for anything more from you.

We love you, honey, and are here for you during this most trying time. You and your babies are in a special spot in my heart.

 

[aniskyoftrent]

Good Morning Everyone

,

I am still waiting for my coffee but I had to come on here for my comfort. You all are wonderul, thank you so much.

Bossinova

I started reading your thread last night. I wasn't part of this site when that was all happening

As I was reading, I felt so close to what you were experiencing. I did not get to finish your thread yet, but I am going back there to read it. I am so sorry for what you had gone through

You did so much for your baby

R.I.P with the Angels, Little Tank

Becky

, I really appreciate all your concern. I am not offended at all by what you suggested. It's exactly what I need. Actually, I have someone who I talk to about all this. He is someone who has helped me through many hard times in my life. I know I can't do this alone, and I know when to ask for help. There is also a pet loss therapist who I am looking into. Thank you so much, hun..


Thank you all so much for everything you have said. Your words are perfect and I need to hear them. I was able to catch myself yesterday, remembering something quite funny that happened with Trent when he was a baby

I actually laughed out loud along with his precious memory

I will never forget Ani and her pumpkins. That's something else that I can smile about now. I know that as time goes on, I will be able to smile and laugh more and more. The memories that I hold of my babies are filled with joy

There were so many wonderful times. They truly were my best friends..and always will be

 

[dawnofsierra]

Lauren, we have shared so many conversations, tears and memories in the past few days, and yet I am still left speachless at the incomprehensible losses you have suffered.

You know that my love is with you during this agonizing time. Sierra and I are so proud of you for the strength you are showing in forcing yourself to go on so as to continue to give Skylar so much love and the most perfect of care. You are an inspiration to us all, my friend!

Much love to Lauren and Skylar

 

[aniskyoftrent]

Stephanie

You have been wonderful through all this and I couldn't thank you enough. I am blessed to have you and Sierra a part of my life

I had a rough time last night. A "friend" of mine called who is not exactly the most compassionate person in the world. She doesn't know what happened. I did not want to tell her anything. She only knows how sick Ani was

& never bothered to call and check up over the past week.
I guess my emotions took a turn when she called. I didn't explode on her, but when I hung up with her, I just started screaming and crying. I know that it is all about everything that has been going on inside me. As awful as the feeling was, I know that I need to get this all out one way or another. In a way, it was a good thing for me. I know who I have in my life. I know who I cherish and who cherishes me.

I also know, although it's so difficult to stay in the moment, each moment that we have counts so much. With all that goes on in our lives, sometimes we may forget to stop and breathe once in a while. For all those who have lost a loved one or have come so close to, we know how important it is to cherish every moment that we have with those special beings in our lives. Each moment counts more than we could ever really know. I run around all the time worrying about one thing or another. Sometimes an entire day could pass where I forget to stop and appreciate all that I have. It's all just too important. I know that I cannot let any moment pass without feeling blessed to have such love in my life. This is to all of you, to my family, my friends, and my babies. I have so much. I am so grateful..

 

[jennyr]

That was beautifully said and a lesson for us all

 

[hissy]

Lauren,

I didn't post here in the thread but I followed it as much as I could. You were getting great advice and so much support, there was little I could do but pray.

I know you are beating yourself up right now, but please don't. When it comes to backyard cats breeding, genetics sometimes just rears its head and takes it victims. It could also be that losing Trent was to much for Ani to deal with and she caved into the illness. There are so many questions and unless you had a necropsy performed, you won't have definitive answers. Sometimes, even after the necropsy you still don't have answers.

Just go with the grief and let it take you on the journey. The path is hard, and there are many footsteps in front of you of weary travelers that have gone this way. You will learn on the journey and you will come out whole on the other side. True, a piece of you will feel broken, but now you have two special angels to help guide you with your life.

Take the time to sit with Skylar and let Skylar know what happened. Be honest and cry, but let Skylar know where Ani has gone. It will help Skylar, and it will help you-

I am so sorry for your loss and was sickened to see this thread had moved. I was really hoping for the best outcome, I knew your heart would not survive the shock of losing another so soon-