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Am I that horrible of a person?
- Thread starter ugaimes
- Start Date
Ditto!
I have been lurking through this thread, I'm sure most of us have some nightmare coworker stories...but I think of a line my boyfriend's grandfather once said...give an idiot enough rope, they'll hang themselves.
It sounds like she needs a good dose of that. But I am sorry you are going through this (((HUGS)))
- Thread Starter Thread Starter
- #23
Wow, thank you guys so much for all of the kind words and advice!
I love you guys so much and honestly, on days like today (since Bradley is 50 miles offshore and can't be reached by phone
), I don't know what I would do without y'all.
So is the majority consensus that I should go ahead and forward the entire email (that includes the original email plus all of our responses) to our sup?
Karen- ouch. I cannot imagine how uncomfortable it would be to go so long without speaking to the person whose desk is right next to yours!
So is the majority consensus that I should go ahead and forward the entire email (that includes the original email plus all of our responses) to our sup?
Karen- ouch. I cannot imagine how uncomfortable it would be to go so long without speaking to the person whose desk is right next to yours!
Way to go Amy! I'm so glad that you went and spoke your mind to that nasty, obviously ineffective personally, girl. You did exactly what I was going to suggest! Lots of
and a big
on that one! I absolutely think you should forward the whole email to your supervisor. Now taht you know how she likes to handle things, taking it up with the sup first, you can handle things in the same manner.
Amy!!!
Honestly, some people are just irrational and can't work in a group setting because they're so defensive--she sounds like that kind of person!
Take the emails, forward them to your boss, not to rat on her but just to say "whad the heck do I do now?". Your boss needs to know that she's making your job this difficult. I mean, is this how she treats her clients, too?
Sounds to me like she needs a major attitude adjustment, or she should find another job!
Take the emails, forward them to your boss, not to rat on her but just to say "whad the heck do I do now?". Your boss needs to know that she's making your job this difficult. I mean, is this how she treats her clients, too?
Sounds to me like she needs a major attitude adjustment, or she should find another job!
- Thread Starter Thread Starter
- #26
I did it! I sent LaVerne the email that contains all of our correspondence today. I hope it does not backfire on me.
This is how I prefaced the email to her:
"Hi LaVerne,
I contemplated whether or not to show this to you, but I feel that it is best that you are aware of how things are now. You can see the progression of the email by starting at the very bottom of the email and scrolling up.
I felt a lot of hostility and defensiveness coming from Sara's emails and, in all honesty, it is making me uncomfortable. While I realize that a coworker like Susan is one in a million, I made every effort when Sara started to make her feel welcome her in any way possible.
I truly do not understand why she is so upset with me, but so be it. After a lot of contemplation, I felt it best that I shared this communication with you in it's entirety so that you can be abreast of the situation."
This is how I prefaced the email to her:
"Hi LaVerne,
I contemplated whether or not to show this to you, but I feel that it is best that you are aware of how things are now. You can see the progression of the email by starting at the very bottom of the email and scrolling up.
I felt a lot of hostility and defensiveness coming from Sara's emails and, in all honesty, it is making me uncomfortable. While I realize that a coworker like Susan is one in a million, I made every effort when Sara started to make her feel welcome her in any way possible.
I truly do not understand why she is so upset with me, but so be it. After a lot of contemplation, I felt it best that I shared this communication with you in it's entirety so that you can be abreast of the situation."
Looks good!
I hope you can get this situation cleared up soon.
I hope you can get this situation cleared up soon.
- Thread Starter Thread Starter
- #29
That is such a relief to hear that y'all think my email to our sup was good. WHEW!
She's out of the office until Thursday, but I'll let y'all know how she responds once she's back!
I was trying to reply to this when my internet went out, but basically I think she's awful and rude, and she needs to respect your seniority at the business- you're obviously only trying to help her, and you were the one that helped her get the job and find a home. I was going to tell you to talk to your Supervisor ASAP because she's got no right to talk down to you like that and practivcally ream you for trying to ensure that your clients have their needs met.
Sara seems like she has a chip on her shoulder. Maybe she's been told all her life that she can't do anything right--who knows? If I were you, I'd just keep telling her what you NEED to so that you can say you told her if she your boss asks why she's not doing something, and let her think whatever she wants to. I'd probably say something like, "I'm sorry you misunderstood me. I'm not commanding you to do anything; I just want to make sure you know what you should do so you don't get reprimanded by [boss]. I want both our work experiences to be as pleasant as possible."
People misunderstand me all the time, and I've found the best way to deal with them is to apologize and assure them that I have nothing but good intentions.
People misunderstand me all the time, and I've found the best way to deal with them is to apologize and assure them that I have nothing but good intentions.
Amy don't let her get to you sweetie!. Weve got an office manager who sounds a tiny bit like her and she has everyone walking on eggshells at times, but i've told her to her face many times to knock the chip off her shoulder when she speaks to me because i'm not like the others!
Amy, I just saw this and the thread you referenced to today. I'm curious how she reacted when she realized she forgot to transfer the phones. Once, during the first year of my current job, I forgot to transfer the phones to our answering service. When I realized it I was totally mortified. I was apologizing all over the place. I was paranoid that it would happen again and stuck sticky notes all over the place as reminders. My boss even said that he couldn't make me feel as bad as I already made myself feel.
You are handling this great - as the competent professional we all know and love.
You are handling this great - as the competent professional we all know and love.
Yep! Just give her time..with that snotty attitude, she'll eventually be her own downfall, so hang in there! Great job telling her off, too! Too bad you couldn't record it..
It takes some nerve to be the new person & act like that! She'll get worse as a false sense of security sets in, people will see who the better person is. And it won't be her.
Originally Posted by rosiemac
Amy don't let her get to you sweetie!. Weve got an office manager who sounds a tiny bit like her and she has everyone walking on eggshells at times, but i've told her to her face many times to knock the chip off her shoulder when she speaks to me because i'm not like the others!
Good job, Amy!!
I don't know if I would have handled things so well under that kind of pressure. You did everything just right, and framed your message to your supervisor very well.
The only other thing I'd do is to start a file, and begin documenting your interactions with Sara. Print out all e-mails from her, and start documenting every conversation you have with her with handwritten notes (not typed ones). I hope you never need to use them, but she's made it crystal clear that she's quite anxious to go over your head. The day may come when you need to defend yourself and nothing works for that like good, hard data.
The only other thing I'd do is to start a file, and begin documenting your interactions with Sara. Print out all e-mails from her, and start documenting every conversation you have with her with handwritten notes (not typed ones). I hope you never need to use them, but she's made it crystal clear that she's quite anxious to go over your head. The day may come when you need to defend yourself and nothing works for that like good, hard data.
I also have concerns about how she is treating clients. But don't try to find out for yourself, just mention it to LaVerne at some point. And when she gets back to the office, let her know about the phone situation and giving your cell phone # out to prevent a client being abandoned when they need you most. Otherwise I can see the new lady saying you were trying to sabotage her. (NOT!)Originally Posted by consumercity
I think it was a good idea to forward the emails to LaVerne so she can see what a nasty attitude this woman has. She isn't a team player and, like OllyExtra05 asks, is this how she treats her clients too? With the power trip she's on I don't like the idea of her working with clients who are feeling very vulnerable and hurt. That kind of person can only make everything worse for them. They need someone who has a genuinely caring heart-- someone like you, Amy.
I have a current problem co-worker, and I have found it helpful to remind myself that she is nasty. That may sound stupid to people who are wiser about reading people than I am, but I tend to take people at face value, so when she acts nice, I think she's nice. Then she blindsides me by acting nasty to me or another co-worker. Now I just remind myself that the acting nice is an act, so I am not as surprised or hurt when her nasty side shows. Luckily, her supervisor and mine are aware of the issue, and see things clearly.
Stop taking her nastiness personally. You are a good and kind person.
Great idea!Originally Posted by Tari
Good job, Amy!!I don't know if I would have handled things so well under that kind of pressure. You did everything just right, and framed your message to your supervisor very well.
The only other thing I'd do is to start a file, and begin documenting your interactions with Sara. Print out all e-mails from her, and start documenting every conversation you have with her with handwritten notes (not typed ones). I hope you never need to use them, but she's made it crystal clear that she's quite anxious to go over your head. The day may come when you need to defend yourself and nothing works for that like good, hard data.
I totally agree that you did the right things Amy. You are not a horrible person, the mere fact that this has upset you proves that you're more caring than Sara could ever be.
Sara obviously has no idea what teamwork is, and you must keep your boss informed of all these things so that she doesn't think you're over reacting when Sara finally pushes things too far.
I know it must be hard, but hang in there. She will shoot herself in the foot eventually, just remain professional in the meantime then you're the one that will come out of it smelling of roses
Sara obviously has no idea what teamwork is, and you must keep your boss informed of all these things so that she doesn't think you're over reacting when Sara finally pushes things too far.
