Hello,
I lost one of my cats, Ivy, last night. I posted about it over in the Crossing the Bridge forum (http://www.thecatsite.com/t/264297/ivy-passed-away-last-night). I'm just wondering how I can help her brother best right now.
He did get to see her body, so he might know that she's dead, if cats can understand that. But all last night, and most of today, he's been searching for her, and calling out for her (it sounds so sad, it's like he's shouting for her to stop hiding and come back). It seems that the only time he calms down is when I'm cuddling with him - nobody else can keep him calm. I know that he's going through his own grieving process right now (at the moment, he's just sitting in the last place they got to cuddle together, meowing for her), but I'm worried about how he's going to take it when I can't be around. If I could take him everywhere, I would (I wish I could), but I'm afraid that he's going to become so dependent on me to calm him down that he'll get too stressed out when I leave. With school and work and stuff, I'll be gone for at least 8 hours most of the time, and I just don't know what to do.
This evening he also started doing the thing he does when he gets stressed out - twitching and grooming himself like crazy. When Ivy was in the hospital about a month ago, Oliver scratched the fur completely off in a couple of places, and I'm afraid that's what he's starting to do now.
I'm thinking about finding a new friend for him, but I want to wait a while to give him the time and space he needs to grieve, and I don't want to stress him out. (I also don't think I'm ready for another cat yet...). He and Ivy are (were
) only 5 years-old, so I know that Oliver has a long life ahead of him. The thought of one day losing Oliver after already losing Ivy is already too much, though, I don't want to add another family member to one day lose if I don't have to...
Any advice? Should I keep loving him as much as he needs, whenever I can, so that he's calm? Or is that going to make him so clingy that he won't be able to handle it when I have work and school? Thanks for your input.
I lost one of my cats, Ivy, last night. I posted about it over in the Crossing the Bridge forum (http://www.thecatsite.com/t/264297/ivy-passed-away-last-night). I'm just wondering how I can help her brother best right now.
He did get to see her body, so he might know that she's dead, if cats can understand that. But all last night, and most of today, he's been searching for her, and calling out for her (it sounds so sad, it's like he's shouting for her to stop hiding and come back). It seems that the only time he calms down is when I'm cuddling with him - nobody else can keep him calm. I know that he's going through his own grieving process right now (at the moment, he's just sitting in the last place they got to cuddle together, meowing for her), but I'm worried about how he's going to take it when I can't be around. If I could take him everywhere, I would (I wish I could), but I'm afraid that he's going to become so dependent on me to calm him down that he'll get too stressed out when I leave. With school and work and stuff, I'll be gone for at least 8 hours most of the time, and I just don't know what to do.
This evening he also started doing the thing he does when he gets stressed out - twitching and grooming himself like crazy. When Ivy was in the hospital about a month ago, Oliver scratched the fur completely off in a couple of places, and I'm afraid that's what he's starting to do now.
I'm thinking about finding a new friend for him, but I want to wait a while to give him the time and space he needs to grieve, and I don't want to stress him out. (I also don't think I'm ready for another cat yet...). He and Ivy are (were
Any advice? Should I keep loving him as much as he needs, whenever I can, so that he's calm? Or is that going to make him so clingy that he won't be able to handle it when I have work and school? Thanks for your input.