A Man's View of Relationships

[meowman]

My cats made me a sensative guy! Have you ever noticed most men who are cat crazy (like me) tend to fall on the sweet/sensative side?

Now, I have to ask: What assumptions?

Also, where are you at anyway? UAE? It sounds like it's too damn far to pick you up for dinner, huh? lol.

I just get so baffled by the male pscycie myself at times. I see how men treat their ladies in public and I just wanna go up and smack the daylights out of'em! "What are'ya doing dumbass"!

Yes, I'm a bachlor with 2 cats and The Little Mermaid on DVD and I'm not gay, contrary to what one of my lady friends jest me. LOL.

 

[Anne]

Amanda, I thought you had already broke up with your boyfriend some time ago... it sounds from your post that you don't even like him a lot which is natural if you feel exploited. I think at the very least you need to take a long break from each other. Just wondering, where does one meet men in Dubai?

By the way, I think that women can take advantage of the male way of looking at women. That's how I got hitched up. I took one year at the age of 24 for a total make over - I lost 40 pounds, my eyeglasses, dyed my hair blonde and changed my wardrobe (you know, all those skimpy short skirts and tight tops). It was incredible! Guys didn't notice me too much before, but after - I could hardly walk the street. I'm 6' tall and it was hard not to notice me... I got tons of male attention and got my way practically anywhere. I must say it didn't make me respect men more... I became cynical about relationships and sort of figured out men were superficial and nothing more than casual fun.

Then I met the man. I was lucky to have a best friend who saw him for the diamond that he was and pretty much convinced me this man was meant for more than a casual fling. Sure, at the beginning, he wouldn't do much more than staring at me (no... not my eyes). But I decided to give a chance and found out that he was this sensitive intelligent man that I actually enjoyed spending time with as a friend! He confessed his eternal love 4 days after we started going out, but I was just enjoying him as a wonderful friend (well, friend with benefits

). It took me several months but then it happened, I fell in love like I never had before and it lasted until this day. We still are best friends and I think that's what makes our relationship so stable.

By the way, in the following 5 years, I've gained around 60 pounds

, went back to wearing glasses and naturally, the mini skirts do not fit any longer.... I don't get cat calls anymore (other than from my own cats

). But I have a wonderful man who loves me the way I am and for who I am.

I really want to lose weight, but now I'm motivated by health reasons and I don't think I'll ever go back to the old style. But I do not regret that time. It has done its trick so to speak and was worth it. There was a lot of competition at that time, as hubby is very good looking and what you'd call classic "marriage material". There were lots of other girls after him and if I hadn't looked the way I had, I guess I wouldn't have won the grand prize

.I hope this doesn't sound too manipulative, because it wasn't pre planned... Just the way things worked out for me.

 

[catarina77777]

OH MY DEAR AMANDA!!!

This guy definitley needs the 411 on how to become a man!

Obviously you have a heart of gold and saw him for his other wonderful traits, but as you know, unfortunately that doesn't make a relationship work. It'd be different if you guys were married and he had gotten injured and things transpired due to that, but...he's healthy 28 year old!

You have no reason to feel guilty and you just pick up those boots of yours girl and keep moving

don't look back! There's plenty to look forward to though...so keep the faith.
PS...there's a thread on here, called It's great to be a woman or something to that affect. I suggest reading it a few times just for affirmations! You'll feel a lot better.

Love &,

 

[kittyfoot]

Ok..it's a given that some guys are losers and it seems that we hear about an inordinate amount of them here. Maybe it's the caring for strays instinct that gets you girls in trouble?:tounge2:

Anyways, I need to say here that the reverse can often be true also. Many times around here I see a young woman who gets out of school,works for a short time...then snags the first available guy ith a fairly steady job and "retires". They spend their day at mommy's house whining about hubby doesn't make enough money,doesn't have a new car for them to drive or a fancy enough house. God forbid they have kids. Then the 50-60 pound weight gains arrive overnight.
See..it would be very easy to denegrate all women by theses welfare queens. Losers are losers...no matter the gender.

 

[kittyfoot]

Barb just reminded me that Anne was commenting on a weight gain..

Now you all know that I didn't intend the comparison.

As an example I will mention a local girl who graduated high school with honors..went to business school and was among the top percentage. Worked in a good office job for 6 months,quit because it was "too hard". (her words) She took a minimum wage job at a local convenience store for awhile and married a guy who works in a local sawmill seasonally,but made good money and high UI stamps.

Within a year she went from 100 lbs to over 300,eats candy and guzzles beer like it's going out of style. Hubby is now working 2 jobs thanks and looks older than I do.

 

[meowman]

Did someone open mouth, insert foot? LOLOL. I think everyone knows you weren't making any comparison. Noone here is that callous, not even us guys!

 

[kittyfoot]

MMMMRRRMMPHHH,GRRRRGL,RRRSSSSSSJKKKK..pop...ok,foot dislodged!!!

Just goes to show that no man is perfect...not even me.

Just some of us are closer than others...

Besides..the computer was responsible.....hey,works for the banks.:tounge2:

 

[amanda]

Anne.....I made a huge mistake

....I broke up with him a long time ago - but at the time I was going through some pretty nasty stuff - had some issues and at the time I was very weak willed and somewhat needy for affection as my emotions were running wild....so he suggested moving back in and of course I said okay

I feel very disappointed

with him - he said and keeps saying that he is committed to me but I see it otherwise. I have little respect for him but my nature is to care for people and help anyone who needs my help - damn I would give the shirt off my back to anyone who asked it of me! I am actually seeking help and getting help which is making a huge difference in my life and I am becoming a stronger healthier woman! The way that people meet in Dubai - well I know plenty of women - that meet men at bars but I am not really one for pubbing and clubbing so I met John through friends at a dinner party. I am stronger than before and I know in my heart of hearts even though this is a hard time it is for the best. Anne I am also in the process of change

- not only for myself but also for my apartment....I am completely re-decorating. I have lost loads of weight and religiously going to the gym. My hair is growing and I have a tan and I am also in the process of getting loads of new clothes made, not that I was particularly unhappy with what I was before but I know there are so many ways in which I can better my self and be a happier person.

Meowman……yup afraid Dubai is way toooooo far for dinner

........it is a nice place - sunny and warm - although at the moment with 120F and up to 85% humidity it is a little toooooo hot, but I still go to the beach over the weekends for 1 hour just to keep that tan topped up - although at the moment is seems that I am panic tanning for my upcoming holiday to the USA……….only 13 more sleeps till I am there - WOOHOO - I am sooooo excited………time to get over men for a while and have some serious girl fun!

 

[catarina77777]

Wow! So Coool!

Do you have any plans on

Florida

Well, if you do, it'd be so awesome to meet you. I live in South Florida. I go play in South Beach and know my way around pretty good if you're interested in visiting! My friends and I go down there and dance!! It's the best...and of course the guys are HOT!!! :laughing: I know I'm dating someone, buy hey, I can look! :LOL::laughing:
It sounds like you've made some huge changes in your life and that's what growth is all about! God Bless You for your courage and keep the Faith Amanda!!!

PS...I hope you guys/girls don't get offended with this..I thought it was kind of appropriate hahahaha! :laughing:
Okay, so, if I'm wrong....sowwy

All in good fun!

Love &,

edited by Anne:
I am deleting the attaches image, anyone who want to see it - please PM Catarina...

 

[meowman]

Geez, and Deb thanks I'm a pervert!!!!! Look at this vagrant female exploitation of a guy that Cat posted! I'm NOT complaining Cat. But, I notice women SOMETIMES tend to roll their eyes at mens fascination of naked women. I'm sorry, but women are JUST as bad, they just don't advertise it as guys do.

Am I right?

 

[alloweyo]

I finally got up to reading all this, and after breaking up with my fiance today, I want to know. Are there any normal men in tampa?! Huh!? I mean, really. No wonder there are so many nudie bars here, men need them. Is anyone in tampa, who loves cats, who is financially secure, and not a big baby? If so, do you want my number?

 

[amanda]

Hey cat thanks for your words of encouragement.....i will have to see what my movements are as I am only in the States for 2 weeks. I will see what I can organise and let you know....otherwise I can always give you a call

P.S damn cute butt

 

[Anne]

ALLoWeyo, sorry about you splitting up with your finance. Have you been together long? If you don't want to talk about it, just ignore my questions

, but if you do, we're here for you!

Catarina - is this the average American guy?

I think I want to visit too

!!!

 

[deb25]

ALLoWeyo:

The answer is "no". The best I have done is 2 out of 3: cat lover and financially secure. The big baby part seems to be a tough hurdle.

Tampa is a tough town.

 

[alloweyo]

We were engaged 1 year, together 3. I'm okay, kinda pissed that he took everything he had ever gotten me. My apartment looks bare without a couch, tv, vaccum, garbage can... he even took the phone. Deb, thanks for the encouragment. I think I'm going to move back to Ft Lauderdale.

 

[kittyfoot]

Deb25....well see...I would have failed your test on one count anyways.

would have been firmly put out the door. Told you ladies about those "ideal" standards.

Now before my brain fuses completely:
Why is it that a woman can live with a guy,let him support her and no-one raises an eyebrow. BUT if a guy lives like that .....????

Welp..I'm outta here.

:foot:

 

[deb25]

Gosh, ALLoWeyo, that qualifies for the "big baby" department. I'm so sorry. Had one once who 2 years later wanted back half of the $150 dollars we paid for an entertainment center together.

Don't give up. There are some good ones out there.

 

[bren.1]

Kittyfoot,
I think we let women slide because some of us still have that mindset from years ago when that was all women were allowed to do. Unfortuneately, the mentality that theMRS degree is the only option for women still exists.


Let's face it, as individuals and as a society, we have our double standards. However, if a person is healthy and has the ability, I don't understand why they wouldn't work. Male or female, unless someone is staying home with the kids, it doesn't make sense to me. (I am not counting us lucky teachers who get the summers off to recharge our batteries.

)

By not working, I mean not working and not looking. I know there are unemployed people out there who have been downsized or laid off, and are in the job market.

 

[deb25]

Kittyfoot:

I am making the leap of faith that you are referring to "financial security"? Because you don't seem to qualify on the other 2 counts: cat lover and big baby.

You do hold down a job, don't you? Unless you are driving that truck as a hobby. I hope that you don't think I was referring to somebody with some kind of Bill Gates portfolio. I am hardly in the position to make those kind of demands. I'm a teacher, for God sake. If you want to debate with the luxury-oriented, I'll have to get my mother to join the site.

Financially secure to me is somebody who is pulling a share of the weight (and being able to, of course). I don't think a woman should be at home with her feet up either. And staying home raising kids doesn't count as "feet up". Don't even go there! The only reason one party shouldn't contribute is if the other half is so filthy rich that there is no need. Even then I'd recommend doing something that is meaningful to you, challenges you, and expands your horizons.

Then again, I'd be the person still working after I won the lottery because I'd get too bored.

 

[ghostuser]

Hey Deb...
Kittyfoot is at work right now..lol But I would like to respond to something you said in the message and hope you don't mind. You said that "The only reason one party shouldn't contribute is if the other half is so filthy rich that there is no need." Well there are other reasons some people don't work. I happen to have a spouse that does not want me working as he says it messes up the taxes at the end of the year and he would rather I stayed home and did housework! Yes I have worked some over the years much to his dislike. Mostly when the kids where high school age. But believe me it was not worth it and just caused too much friction. So my rebellion did no good at all. But I may start working again anyhow! But I will have to get my poor ole wore out feet fixed first...lol.