2 cats with Behavior issues-starting to consider euthanasia

[onthethird]

I need help, I'm at my wit's end.

Let me start by telling you that I was pre-vet as an undergrad and worked in vet offices for 4 years. I have many friends from college who are now practicing veterinarians. I'm currently a stay at home mother to two preschoolers with a third child on the way and a deployed husband.

I have two cats-Skipper and Kahlua-who I have had for 12 years. Both were rescue cats I acquired as a college student in 1999. Skipper has had litterbox issues from day 1. He has always urinated outside of the litterbox seemingly randomly. There are no underlying UTI issues or other medical problems. He does have OCD and licks the fur off of his belly whenever stressed. I have tried amytriptiline, Depo Provera, prozac. No improvement in symptoms. I have used Feliway diffusers and spray since 2000. We have tried every different litter option known to man, we have multiple litterboxes. I used to just "deal with it" but since I have started having children 4 years ago the issues have become worse and now seem focused on my children 90% of the time-he pees and poops on my children's things most of the time and stays as far away from them as he can (they do not mess with him, they leave both cats alone.) It has become almost a daily occurrence.

My female cat Kahlua has always been aggressive. Again, something that wasn't as much as a deal-breaker before i had children. She has also gotten progressively more aggressive as she ages. She currently can only be handled (rarely) by my husband or myself and even then she will bite at times. She has bitten my children unprovoked (not directly provoked, they have been playing in the same room). Just last night she jumped on me while I was reading in bed and bit me hard enough to break the skin. Again, we use Feliway constantly so not sure what else i can do about that...if she bites my children one more time my husband will insist on putting her down, and quite honestly I'm leaning towards his solution.

I have been trying for months to find a new home for my cats...with my third child on the way I can no longer deal with the issues they are having and feel that they are beyond modification at this point. I have been turned away by 13 no-kill shelters or sanctuaries thus far. I am starting to seriously consider euthanasia...its something I never, ever thought I would do. I am having a hard time because I cannot keep going the way things are with cleaning up urine/defecation every day and constantly being scared myself or my children are going to be bit.

I also need to note that we are military and have moved 5 times in the last 6 years. We always live in military housing or rentals so I cannot build them their own cat room or anything like that. I cannot just let Skipper pee the carpets because I will be charged as a renter for the damage. The cats are both declawed. I have them outside right now 90% of the time which they seem to prefer given they like to stay away from the children but I feel like I'm just waiting for them to get injured or worse.

We are in NC so if anyone knows a sanctuary anywhere here or the neighboring states that is accepting cats I'd love to know, or if anyone has been in a similar situation. I'm so upset over this and have no idea what to do, I feel like my options are exhausted.

 

[goingpostal]

Well I'm not usually one for putting healthy animals down, but it really does sound like you have went over and above trying both to fix the issues and trying to find them another home, you've kept them a long time and I can completely understand how this isn't a workable situation with children and renting. I'm sure others will disagree with me wanting to save everything under the sun but two senior cats, one who bites and one who potties everywhere really aren't adoptable and do you really feel they would be happier in a shelter or sanctuary to live out however many years with strange people and animals around? That's not the life I would choose for my animals and personally I think it's a copout so people can dump their animals off and feel good about themselves pretending fluffy is living a grand old life at the farm. Most shelters are overcrowded, stressful and noisy and your pet lives in a cage until they are lucky enough to die, look at the numbers of cats on petfinder, you really want to add to that? If you can do an outdoor enclosure of sorts, maybe a large covered dog kennel or garage they could live in or maybe a room inside without carpet for easy cleanup. That would be about all I could think of for ways to keep them reasonably but if that's not workable don't feel like you are a horrible person for putting them down.

 

[onthethird]

Thanks for the reply...I think part of me is just in denial and I wish so badly I could find another solution. (I have tried the garage thing-Skipper urinated all over our things in the garage as well.)

I don't know that the cats would have a decent quality of life at a sanctuary, having always just been the two of them and inside cats. I know a shelter would not be ideal. I think there is part of me that feels like if they go to a sanctuary I would be able to convince myself they were having a good life still, even if that may not be the case. But is life in a sanctuary worse then me "killing" them? I wouldn't be having these issues if they were severely ill, I just never anticipated the behavior issues to get to this point and it makes me feel like a horrible person for thinking about it.

 

[cosabella]

Their lives are not for you to take. You don't get to decide whether they live or die.

I'm sure other responders will be more diplomatic and offer real advice, but I'm horrified that someone would even consider killing pets they've had for 12 years.

Within the last 4 years, their lives have changed dramatically. Cats are creatures of habit and when you introduce them to new environment, you must do so slowly. It's all happening too fast. To go from having your complete and undivided attention to dividing time with a husband and 2 toddlers. Imagine your world turning upside down.

 

[onthethird]

Originally Posted by Cosabella

Their lives are not for you to take. You don't get to decide whether they live or die.

I'm sure other responders will be more diplomatic and offer real advice, but I'm horrified that someone would even consider killing pets they've had for 12 years.

Within the last 4 years, their lives have changed dramatically. Cats are creatures of habit and when you introduce them to new environment, you must do so slowly. It's all happening too fast. To go from having your complete and undivided attention to dividing time with a husband and 2 toddlers. Imagine your world turning upside down.

By all means I am open to suggestions!! Please, tell me what you would do in my situation. I'm not going to divorce my husband so we don't have military moves and the kids do need to stay as well. As you can see in my original post this isn't a spur of the moment thing...I have been dealing with these issues from day 1-the biting and inappropriate elimination. Its just with the other factors in my life I can no longer accommodate these behaviors. I joined this site and posted this because I am feeling like I have no other options, I would be grateful to hear of anything I haven't yet tried as both my veterinarian and myself are out of ideas.

 

[white cat lover]

Please remember when posting - try to keep it polite. The OP is here desperately seeking advice, let's pool our resources & give her some!

 

[yayi]

I think it has come to the point that cat and human are incompatible living together. If the cats weren't declawed they'd be happier in an outdoor enclosure. If the humans had less changes in their lives, the cats would have less behavior issues.
Putting them down is for me not an option. Have you tried putting an ad in the local newspaper asking for help? There may be someone nearby who is willing to adopt your cats. You will have to be very careful though in selecting the new guardians for Skipper and Kahlua.

Letting them outside may not be a good move either because they've lived inside since the start and they are declawed, I am sure it is very upsetting for them. How about a "doghouse" type of enclosure in the backyard? It is a compromise - they are safe, far from the children, and out of the house.

 

[onthethird]

I haven't put anything in the newspaper but I have listed on craigslist and statewide websites looking for new owners or a fostering situation. My vet also has flyers up and has for some time. Numerous rescues that have turned me down have the cats listed on their sites as well as urgent need.

I should clarify that the cats are on a screen porch outside so the have shelter but they have busted out part of my screen to get out in the yard. They very obviously prefer being out there instead of in the house, the come in only to eat and the meow at the door to go back out. (I keep the food just inside to prevent attracting bugs or uninvited creatures). Skipper however has licked his belly raw to the point if having sores since he started going outside (from his anxiety issues) so while he seems to prefer being out there it is obviously causing him distress as well.

 

[feralvr]

I can tell you love your cats very much and have been dealing with these difficult behaviors for years. I really think at their age a life in a shelter would be just cruel for them. A sanctuary might be a good solution, if you could find one. I understand your predicament and are to the point of no return, as the cats must be placed. It is possible that they would settle down, change their bad behaviors in a new more quiet home with a more calm life and no more moving around. The stress of moving, the stress of the children coming into the picture, etc. might be adding to the cause of these issues. But, trying to find someone to fit the bill and take a chance on them might be daunting. The only other option I can think of, would be to build an outdoor cat enclosure for the two of them since you don't have a tiled room inside that they can just live in and call their own. I don't even know if any shelter would take your female since she is so aggressive, she would really be a hard cat to adopt out as would your male with the marking behaviors. This is a very tough predicament and I certainly wish you so much luck and support you in any decision you make. This must be very emotional for you and I am sorry about your situation.

 

[parsleysage]

I'm sorry I don't have any advice, but just wanted to give you a

. I know this wouldn't even be crossing your mind unless you had tried everything else. I hope you're able to find something that works to keep them - and more folks will be along soon to hopefully share some good advice.

 

[elayman]

Originally Posted by onthethird

I need help, I'm at my wit's end.

Let me start by telling you that I was pre-vet as an undergrad and worked in vet offices for 4 years. I have many friends from college who are now practicing veterinarians. I'm currently a stay at home mother to two preschoolers with a third child on the way and a deployed husband.

I have two cats-Skipper and Kahlua-who I have had for 12 years. Both were rescue cats I acquired as a college student in 1999. Skipper has had litterbox issues from day 1. He has always urinated outside of the litterbox seemingly randomly. There are no underlying UTI issues or other medical problems. He does have OCD and licks the fur off of his belly whenever stressed. I have tried amytriptiline, Depo Provera, prozac. No improvement in symptoms. I have used Feliway diffusers and spray since 2000. We have tried every different litter option known to man, we have multiple litterboxes. I used to just "deal with it" but since I have started having children 4 years ago the issues have become worse and now seem focused on my children 90% of the time-he pees and poops on my children's things most of the time and stays as far away from them as he can (they do not mess with him, they leave both cats alone.) It has become almost a daily occurrence.

My female cat Kahlua has always been aggressive. Again, something that wasn't as much as a deal-breaker before i had children. She has also gotten progressively more aggressive as she ages. She currently can only be handled (rarely) by my husband or myself and even then she will bite at times. She has bitten my children unprovoked (not directly provoked, they have been playing in the same room). Just last night she jumped on me while I was reading in bed and bit me hard enough to break the skin. Again, we use Feliway constantly so not sure what else i can do about that...if she bites my children one more time my husband will insist on putting her down, and quite honestly I'm leaning towards his solution.

It is in all likelihood the declaw that is common denominator underlying both of these most common owner complaints - aggression and litter box issues. What brand of litter are you using currently ? I'm sure this is something you have been over with the vet. It needs to be one with a very soft and comfortable texture on sensitive toes and that has a special attractant that makes kitties want to pee in it.

All I can suggest on the behavioral front would be to try another anti-depressant like clomipramine perhaps in combination with a re-conditioning therapy that helps the cat break a negative association with the litter box by associating it with a relaxing, positive pain-free experience.

 

[parsleysage]

Originally Posted by elayman

What brand of litter are you using currently ? It needs to be one with a very soft and comfortable texture on sensitive toes and that has a special attractant that makes kitties want to pee in it.

Onthethird, have you tried Dr. Elsey's Cat Attract litter? I've heard it works wonders.

 

[bastetservant]

This is such a sad and disturbing situation for those of us who love cats like children, which is the way most of us are here. I've never experienced anything like this, in the over 50 years I've had cats. My guess is that a combination of stressors have driven the cats and you to this point.

The suggestions of devoting a room, or an outside enclosure to them seem like good and possible options. There are fairly large and portable outside enclosures available, ready made, to purchase. A sanctuary would be wonderful. If I were rich I'd have one and take your cats.

Have you looked into a cat behaviorist to help you?

You are in a tough situation, and I feel for you, the unhappy person and the unhappy cats.

All I can say is that I couldn't put them down, I don't think, if it were me, I'd never get over it if I did. I'd keep looking for a solution, and go to other vets, specialist vets, and cat behaviorists until I got help, no matter what it cost and how much debt I got in.

Good luck to you, your family, and the sad cats. I really feel bad for all of you, and I sincerely wish I had more to offer you.

Robin

 

[onthethird]

I was lucky enough to have full access (for very cheap) to amazing veterinary care when I worked at veterinary offices all through college when the cats were younger, so I believe I have exhausted the medical options. The aggressiveness and peeing came before the declawing so I don't think they are related but I can't remember if I have tried that cat attract litter before...it would definitely be worth a shot.

I talked with my husband and I think we're going to give it one more go-getting that special litter, bringing them back inside 100%, really giving it our all before considering the last resort.

By the way , so many have offered advice on Skipper's peeing/pooping issues but not much on Kahlua's biting??? Hubby and I do agreed if she bites the kids again she has to go-its not something I can tolerate and God forbid she bit the baby unprovoked once he's here, she can really hurt him. (As I know, I've been bit to the point of having to go to the hospital)

 

[bastetservant]

I would prevent Kahlua's access to your children at this point, for everyone's safety. If that means giving over a room to the cats at this point, I'd do it, no matter how inconvenient. I would want to try an experienced and qualified cat behaivor professional.

I'd even consider a cat "communicator" at this point. I have no personal experience with this, but I've read here a couple intriguing accounts of the help they gave people and cats.

I don't know if bringing them inside full time is a good idea. They shouldn't be out because they are declawed, but I think these cats need stability more than anything. So I don't know.Do they get plenty of positive attention? I sure can understand your frustration with them. But if they aren't getting positive attention from you, they may act out more.

For the litter box issues, besides the Cat Attract litter, are you using large, open boxes (no hoods), 3 boxes in different places, and scooping at least 2 times a day? Have you been cleaning up the places soiled with Nok Out (buy on line) and using a black light (sold at big pet stores) to find all the places to be cleaned? Have you confined him to a small room with all his things to retrain him to use the litter pan? All these things need to be done before you give up on Skipper.

If you read the many past threads, stickies and articles here, you will get more ideas on how to work on both these problems. You seem to really care about your cats and want to find a way to work this out. So trying some new things may give you solutions.

I really appreciate your efforts to try to help you and your family live in peace with your cats.

Robin

 

[onthethird]

I really appreciate everyone's suggestions! I'm starting to feel like maybe I can make this work! I'm going to Petsmart a little later today to get the Cat Attract litter and refresh our toy stash...I definitely haven't been giving them the attention they used to get before kids so that could definitely be contributing to the worsening behavior (although I'm hesitant to say its causing the problems since they have both had these issues since they were kittens.)

We do have multiple large open litterboxes, they are scooped pretty much every time one of the cats goes to the bathroom, I'm a stay at home mom so I'm here all the time and when I see something it a litterbox I take it out immediately. I definitely have the blacklight and cleaners too! Thats how I have lasted this long!! Skipper used to spray too but as he's gotten older while he still "shakes his tail" at things, nothing seems to come out for the past few years (as verified with the blacklight) so thats at least a bonus!

We consulted a behaviorist years ago and nothing they suggested helped, I don't think I would venture to spend the money on that again, especially for economic reasons and our new baby on the way. I need to get out and fix the porch screen too and then I will let them back out on the screen porch. I just saw a cat on the side of the road this morning that had been hit by a car so it verified to me that I cannot be letting them roam outside unless I get an enclosure....just difficult for me right now because I'm having a complicated pregnancy and it is hard for me to do things myself, I'll have to price some options and see how much it would cost to hire someone to put one up, and get the ok from my landlord.

Anyways, thanks again for everyone's suggestions, I'll take as many ideas as anyone is willing to give! Like I said in my original post, euthanasia is something I never in a million years thought I would consider but I was out of ideas.

 

[momofmany]

For the spraying issue, I've had great luck with Cat Attract litter in large rubbermaid type bins (no lid). To clean up where they spray, I use nothing but Nok Out these days - it works better than anything that I've found out there. Cats will repeatedly go to a spot where they can smell urine, and you must use odor neutralizers to eliminate the smell. Saturate the areas - don't simply spray them with a mister bottle.

For biting, there's a great sticky thread on cat aggression towards people. You might find some specific ideas in that thread to help you with your girl.
http://www.thecatsite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=20837

I'll be honest here. I've had a lot of challenging cats over the years (been rescuing feral cats for over 20 years now) and have only given up on 1 cat (age 7) during that time due to behavior issues. That particular cat actually was diagnosed with a cat form of schizophrenia - take every problem behavior that cats do and magnify it 100 fold. I never support euthanasia for behavior issues unless there is an untreatable medical condition behind that behavior.

Put on your "think like a cat" hat and reason through the behavior issues. You can only correct the behavior if you are able to invest the time to do so. We are here to offer ideas and support as you work through this.

 

[onthethird]

Okay, just returned from PetSmart after spending a small fortune on a stockpile of Cat Attract and a variety of new playthings for the kitties. I'm also making a point to devote some very specific "pet" time to each as they seem int he mood for it-I do admit I get a little busy and they have not been getting the love they used to.

I'm very thankful for the encouragement...I had not tried that litter before, is it new? i thought I had tried it all a couple years ago!

Wish me luck!

 

[bastetservant]

I have seen on line quite large, portable cat enclosures that are staked to the ground and can be collapsed and moved. This might work for you. I think Drs. Foster and Smith sells one, though I often find items with better prices elsewhere.

The screened porch (with shade and all their other needs) sounds like an excellent idea. Get a handyman to help you if you can't handle repairs yourself at the moment.

Robin

 

[bastetservant]

Oh! Lots of good luck wishes to you and your family. And loads of the magical tcs being sent your way.

Oh, and, lots of people here say Nok Out is the only cleaner that really works.

Robin