Worried about pregnant neighbor

Originally Posted by DixieDarlin256

This is true. They have access to resources specifically for them and no one else. Food banks, thrift stores who will give them EVERYTHING they need if they have a voucher from CPS. I was a temp in a CPS office and I can't tell you how many people were calling in to get thier voucher.
They can also give her parenting classes. and "Healthy Start". Which is a program that has nurses come in the home for a year and help them manage life with a new baby. It might not be a bad idea to call them.

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I really would like to call these people, but I just cant seem to picture how she would react when they called/stopped by her.

I dont want her to freak out and think I was the one calling. Because she's already getting mad for asking her so many questions about getting ready for baby. Well not mad, just irritated I suppose. But her fiance says they need ALL THE HELP they can get.

Originally Posted by lilleah

I really would like to call these people, but I just cant seem to picture how she would react when they called/stopped by her.

I dont want her to freak out and think I was the one calling. Because she's already getting mad for asking her so many questions about getting ready for baby. Well not mad, just irritated I suppose. But her fiance says they need ALL THE HELP they can get.

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I wouldn't worry about that. If she mentioned that they came out act suprised. I think it's in her's and the baby's best interest. It's annonymous when you do it. They will ask your name but they can't by law tell her

Originally Posted by DixieDarlin256

I wouldn't worry about that. If she mentioned that they came out act suprised. I think it's in her's and the baby's best interest. It's annonymous when you do it. They will ask your name but they can't by law tell her

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Alright.

I know I have to anyways. She needs these programs. Now.

Originally Posted by lilleah

Alright.

I know I have to anyways. She needs these programs. Now.

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I don't want you feel like you're being pushed into it. I just think you're truly concerened about this girl and the baby deserves the best he can get, even if his parents need help.

Oh, I wasn't trying to tell you you have to call them, I was just defending the idea of calling them to an earlier post that claimed all they do is take your kids away and nothing else. It's an unfair and untrue myth about CPS.

It would be a good idea to call them, but I would feel exactly the way you do, I'm a terrible liar!

If you don't want to do that, since you have kids as well, you could ask her if she wants to take a parenting class with you, like she'd be doing you a favor keeping you company or something. Maybe she's begun to act a little wierd cause you keep helping her and she isn't returning the favor? Who knows, maybe you'll pick up a couple useful hints and tips as well. I know it's alot to do, but you seem concerned about her.

I know these places get a really bad rap from people, but you might try calling a crisis pregnancy center. They are everywhere and at least around here they offer cribs, clothes, toys, strollers, etc. to moms in need. They are an anti-abortion organization, but at least around here they really do have material goods and parenting classes.

http://www.pregnancycenters.org/adva...=Find+Location

Please keep us updated! I'm wondering if anything's improved? Have they signed up for any programs yet? I'm sending you good vibes! It sounds like you've really been doing a lot for them. I'd be honored to have such a caring neighbor like you! I hope they get it together for the sake of the baby and for their own health.

Just read this thread through - you are doing great in a very tough situation. I'm glad to hear that things are improving, but I would be concerned that she doesn't know enough/isn't motivated enough to keep it up when the baby arrives - so if she can get help/handholding/good habits from some social worker involvement, I would be inclined to go down that road. Keep us posted - we're rooting for you.

Oh - also, in case it's still worrying you - role-playing isn't that weird. A bit nerdy, sure, but that's all. I'm aware of it's repuation in the US, and how it got it, so if you're still worried, please PM me, as I'd be happy to put your mind at ease.

Well here's a tiny up-date. She was signed up for a "couple's" getting ready for baby class. I havent talked to her about how it went yet.

She missed her last 2 dr's appts due to no ride. ( I was working, otherwise I would have been joyed to take her).

At her last doctor appt. They told her she is now considered a "high-risk" pregnant women. The baby is much too small. She'd like to have a C-section.
They were supposed to have a car by now, but apparently they cant go pick it up because niether of them has a lisence.

She's due at the end of this month...Although she looks as if she's ready to pop today. Wierd being that the baby is so small.
She's been avoiding me too. So I've been keeping my distance.
They went to Wal-mart with $200 in gift cards, and got diapers, a car seat, and some other baby items. Enough that I know the baby will be fine for a little bit. No crib, or bassenet, or anytype of sleeping arrangement yet, and no formula because she plans on breast-feeding. But I just hope she knows about what not to eat & drink while doing that. She plans on going to work a week after the baby is born. That'll change right after she has the baby for sure. They said they still have $40 bucks that they plan on spending after the baby is born for other things they didnt know they needed. I've got a few books to give her.

I told her fiance that they obviously have no idea what's about to hit them. I explained that there will be no more "HALO" parties at 1 a.m., no more drunk friends in the house smashing things, I just basically explained to him that thier ENTIRE WORLD be different. He says he knows, but she doesnt.

I'm sure it'll all work out. If not, I am right here, and whether or not she plans on avoiding me after the baby is born, I will be stopping by to make sure everything is ok.

I could just die sitting over here wondering about it.

Thanks for the update! I hope everything starts to get a little better....Hopefully she'll stop avoiding you! I hope the baby will be ok, it being underweight and all. I'm sending good vibes

Wow...that whole thing is really overwhelming.

I hope everything goes well - but...she WANTS to have a c-section. I can tell you that it's really no fun at all. You feel pretty horrible afterward, compared to a natural birth, and I've done both. I really hope the baby is ok. I could see, though, that a c-section would be easier on the baby, probably.

I was going to mention the car seat thing, too, because hospitals won't let you go home without one. But I see they got that taken care of.

I'll be thinking of you, and her.

I'm sending you prayers and good vibes! Sounds like you need um. I hope everything becomes better with the new baby on the way and all. Keep us posted

*vibes* I hope everything goes okay. I also hope 40$ is enough to cover unexpected expenses for a new baby... I wouldn't worry too much about a bed yet, until the baby can roll over on its own, so a couple months. As long as they don't plan on having the baby sleep in the bed with them. My sister and I both slept in a drawer when we were newborns.
Maybe you could have a coupon-cutting party with her. This would help her budget her money better and do a "mom-thing" and she couldn't take it as you telling her what to do, since you're doing it together as equals. And it's fun! Plus it'll help them when they need it, since I'm sure coupons come in handy.

What a sad situation And what a burden for you If only she could somehow be contacted by a church group.Surely her doctor's office can see that she needs help, and there must be some volunteers somewhere nearby who would help carry her to appts, etc. I hope that things really improve soon, before the baby arrives. Bless you for your compassion & caring - it reminds me of the saying, "Even a lone star shines brightly in dark night" - I hope that your lone star is soon joined by others & creates a bright constellation of hope & love for your neighbor & the new baby boy. My thoughts and prayers go out to you all. susan

I seen her. Caught her going upstairs. Kind of made the jester that I wanted to talk.

I ask how things were going. She said "You know, the usual stuff"
(she seems depressed)
We talked a bit about the baby sleeping during the day, and not getting any sleep at night after the baby is born. She doesnt think she'll have any problems with that.

I asked her how prepared she was...
She said "as prepared as you can be with this."
Then she kind of started to cry, and turned around to go upstairs.
I was just standing there like, wow...This is sad. I wanted to hug her so bad and make everything ok..But she doesnt want that at all. You can see it in her eyes. I just really hope this all turns out ok for her.
Only 18 more days left untill due date.
Baby is small.

Originally Posted by kluchetta

Wow...that whole thing is really overwhelming.

I hope everything goes well - but...she WANTS to have a c-section. I can tell you that it's really no fun at all. You feel pretty horrible afterward, compared to a natural birth, and I've done both. I really hope the baby is ok. I could see, though, that a c-section would be easier on the baby, probably.

I was going to mention the car seat thing, too, because hospitals won't let you go home without one. But I see they got that taken care of.

I'll be thinking of you, and her.

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If the baby is small for it's gestational age, you can bet one issue may be a "lousy" as in not functioning well placenta...and that means if they don't preschedule a c/section, she'll probably end up with one anyway when this kidlet goes into distress - i'd be expecting meconium in the amniotic fluid, late decelerations during labor, poor fetal heart rate variability.

If she does have a c/section, she's not going to work a week after the child is born, for darn skippy. No way.

You are a wonderful, caring neighbor, I hope she'll reach out to you when she realizes she needs some help.

Originally Posted by Pat & Alix

If the baby is small for it's gestational age, you can bet one issue may be a "lousy" as in not functioning well placenta...and that means if they don't preschedule a c/section, she'll probably end up with one anyway when this kidlet goes into distress - i'd be expecting meconium in the amniotic fluid, late decelerations during labor, poor fetal heart rate variability.

If she does have a c/section, she's not going to work a week after the child is born, for darn skippy. No way.

You are a wonderful, caring neighbor, I hope she'll reach out to you when she realizes she needs some help.

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When I talked to her I wanted to get more info from her about her decisions with C-sections or manual labor as I call it, but she seemed distracted, or upset.

I just keep hoping is all I can do. Really at this point I'm no help to her. She just kind of shuns it away.

She knows you are there, and surely realizes that you care. The decision re how this child is delivered is more than likely going to be out of her hands, it will be made re the safest way to deliver this baby. I will keep her in my thoughts and prayers, that she goes full term, that the baby is stable, and that labor and delivery or c/section goes well. Surely the hospital is going to realize this new mom & baby and home situation will need followup monitoring. I would hope. I can't imagine that her doctor hasn't identified her as at risk, given what sounds like a difficult economic situation, and how this gal has handled this pregnancy - re taking care of herself.

Good luck Lilleah, I will continue to keep you - and your neighbours in my thoughts.