can someone please explain this to me

Originally Posted by turtlecat

My secret, don't do BLACK. there are a lot of REALLY DARK reds or purples that will fade, sure but will cause less damage than to dye your hair full on black. These also can be colored over with mid browns if you decide sooner rather than later that the look isn't working for you, where as BLACK needs to be stripped out and that's VeRY damaging.

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and if you don't have it stripped, it looks bloody hideous growing out.

I agree that what you are on the inside is more important than what you look like on the outside, but having said that, I'm afraid "society" doesn't see it that way on the whole.

You ARE judged by the way you look and the way you behave. If you are still in school then perhaps you can look as silly/offbeat/different/goth or whatever you want but eventually you'll have to grow up and if not accept the rest of society, at least compromise if you are to have a good job and support yourself.

We were all rebels and seems we all wanted to do what our parents didn't want us to do (in every generation even mine) but as we mature we see that our parents for the most part were trying to help us make better decisions and protect us. Most parents I know don't prevent their children from doing things just to be mean. They have good intentions.

Hmmmm - my daughter is 25 and I have to say she has given me a pretty much stress-free teenage period.

She did want a tattoo when she was 16 and I told her if she still wanted one when she turned 18, it would be her choice but that until then no way. Well she did get one at 18 on her lower abdomen and even I have to admit it is very tasteful and "small".

She also wanted to perm her hair and also keep it long - I told her it would damage her hair and it would have to be cut. She went ahead anyway and because her hair was so long and heavy, she had it permed twice because the perm wouldn't hold. Well, long story short, she had to have it cut because of damage and split ends and had to start over to grow it.

I dyed my hair completely black when I was 13. I've bleached small amounts. Then dyed those different crazy colors. I've dyed my whole head different colors, but my hair is dark so it mostly tints it.

My hair is wonderfully healthy (if a pain to deal with). Of course I have never bleached my WHOLE head because I was worried about damaging it. I would recommend sticking to bleaching small amounts. There are also more/less damaging dyes.

My mother's rule was always "Don't get my bathroom covered in dye" and I mostly was good about it. Your mother is making fun of you because she doesn't understand and probably doesn't have a good reason not to let you, so that is the best way for her to combat it.

My mom and I compromised a lot when I was a teenager. She'd let me buy manic panic dye because you could adjust the color and sometimes she's let me dye my hair strange colors. I had a tattoo and several piercings by the time I was 16, but she didn't know about those! At the time I got these done it was illegal in my state regardless of age, which oddly enough made it easier for minors to get pierced and tattooed- more piercers would do it. I did very well in school and was a good kid. I didn't break curfew, drink, etc- so my mom let me get away with black clothes. Eventually I toned down, especially as I started getting less into hard rock and more into indie rock. Now my mom is happy that my wardrobe is 99% Banana Republic and Gap and the only piercings I have are 2 gaged ears. I think it's important to let kids experiment with styles, as long as those styles aren't overtly sexual. Eventually they will probably calm down. The only friends I've had who haven't calmed down their style are now piercers or tattoo artists.

Yeah, I'm all for individuality and what not...to each their own. My Mom always let me do what I wanted to do with my hair but now that I look back, she was always right in what she told me NOT to do!

But I know from personal experience that straightening and coloring are a lot of stress on your hair...sometimes making it VERY dry and brittle to the point where it simply breaks off. You should try the straightening and then in a few months if you still want to dye it, find someone who will do the pink in foils, so it is not coloring your whole head. (I'm not sure, but I think they may to take the color out first, not sure.)

Do it in steps...which will also not make Mom mad as much. I have a feeling she's just looking out for your best interest.

Meanwhile, the upkeep...to go to a salon around here to get these processes done correctly will cost you well over $125!!!

Originally Posted by turtlecat

I do have to say that I am rather irritated with some of the other posters on this board that ARE parents and are basically reinforcing that she can't have some time to find herself by trying a look that YOU find unnatractive. Quite frankly, I am certain that I would find many of the things that you think are a "good look" quite hideous.

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And that is certainly a reality, that we all have different tastes. And while certain things are agreed upon between parent and teen, certain things are not. Every kid will come up with something that their parent disagrees with. I think the main point of this post is not so much who is right or wrong, between parent and child, but how to resolve the conflict. In my opinion, Lil_Axl_Girl's best chance to do that is 1. understand her Mom isn't the only one who would have trouble with this choice, and 2. try to talk things through with her Mom.

And keep doing what you are doing, girl, and talk it out with your friends, too.

Now my mom is being a suck up and bringing me chocolate home......tehehehheheheehehhehe!!!



I still want black and red hair though

Originally Posted by turtlecat

I have to say that if your hair is a light color naturally, you would benefit from not dyeing/bleacing the section of hair you want brightly colored, but to simply use a dye like Special Effects on natural hair, and dye the rest. My secret, don't do BLACK. there are a lot of REALLY DARK reds or purples that will fade, sure but will cause less damage than to dye your hair full on black. These also can be colored over with mid browns if you decide sooner rather than later that the look isn't working for you, where as BLACK needs to be stripped out and that's VeRY damaging.

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I totally agree. I had my hair dyed black and I regretted it! I either had to keep dying it black (my hair is light brown) or get it stripped out, and all the coloring was already torturing my hair, so I ended up shaving my head--which was fun, but still.

Originally Posted by Purr

I totally agree. I had my hair dyed black and I regretted it! I either had to keep dying it black (my hair is light brown) or get it stripped out, and all the coloring was already torturing my hair, so I ended up shaving my head--which was fun, but still.

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My hair is a dark brown actually. and I would actually go for continuing to dye it black because personally I think that's my look. I can live without the red and since black is afterall a natural hair color I could still get a decent job.

well everyone I'm about to talk it over with my dad..he's usually cooler about stuff like this and plus my mom said "Talk to your dad about it." so I'm not going behind my mom's back and everything..and is what I mean by cooler is..he's good about giving me the reasons and not freaking out and yelling at me.

Wish me luck I hope he says yes!!

Ok my 2 cents:
I might be older than some of you. Maybe I actually have some conservative genes in me but when I see younger people with hair like that I shake my head. You must realize that that type of look will have people automatically thinking certain things about you. And afraid to tell you most of them are not going to be postive. Media today have influenced society tremendously both positively and negatively.
If you are looking for a job with that type of look most businesses are NOT going to hire you irregardless of your qualifications. That life. Unless you are going to work in an occupation where that type of look works good luck.
I would think long and hard are you doing this for yourself or to please/belnd in with others. I hope you find your answer.

Well after putting a lot of thought into it and having a long talk with my parents we have agreed to dying it just plain black. Sure I would've loved to have the red in with it but I got sick of arguing. As for trying to find a career and all..right now I"m only a junior in highschool so therefore..I don't need to worry about that kind of stuff at this moment. I still have my last 2 years of school then college to worry about. Once I'm searching for a career my hair would surely have all the dye out by then.

Oh and I got my hair straightened..here's the new look!!

Before:



and now:

why not use coloured wax to add the red? it washes out

Originally Posted by maverick_kitten

why not use coloured wax to add the red? it washes out

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Because they don't like the red period. They think I'm trying to be someone I'm not.

Looks good!

Your hair looks cute like that-without going to an unflattering extreme..
It's all about working WITH what you have, instead of against it. Now that you have the cute style, you can do those temporary things like Maverick Kitten said, & change it when you want something different.

I don't know if you have wal-mart near you but they sell this comb in wash out red hair dye stuff.. I have used it when I got bored and wanted to change my hair for a day..or maybe a Sally's Beauty Supply... they have a TON of that stuff

Your hair looks nice now.

I have to agree with other posters on many diffrent levels. I never went to huge extremes with my hair. i think the biggest change i did, was for a spice girl concert. yes I can admit i listened to them....at the same time i was big into Oasis (still am into Oasis..teheh) Anyways I died my hair bright red, and added the blonde chunks for ginger spice. My hair hated me for sometime after that.

I mostly did reds in my hair, i am naturally a dark brunette in the summer i get red highlights naturally and depending on how much i wear a hat out on trails someitmes blonde.

I have now stopped dyeing my hair totally. I didnt want to keep stressing it out. The funny thing, is i had just trimmed it, and "dyed it back to normal" the day before i met steve...a sign maybe? lol

Originally Posted by Lil_Axl_Gurl

Well after putting a lot of thought into it and having a long talk with my parents we have agreed to dying it just plain black. Sure I would've loved to have the red in with it but I got sick of arguing. As for trying to find a career and all..right now I"m only a junior in highschool so therefore..I don't need to worry about that kind of stuff at this moment. I still have my last 2 years of school then college to worry about. Once I'm searching for a career my hair would surely have all the dye out by then.

Oh and I got my hair straightened..here's the new look!!

Before:



and now:

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Wow, the straight hair looks good. But I wonder...why do people with straight hair (like me) go get a perm so we can have curls, and people with curly hair go get it straightened!?! I'm glad you worked things out. Maybe later you can ask about adding the temporary red for a special occasion.