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if you were me what would you do?
- Thread starter maverick_kitten
- Start Date
That is indeed a lovely saying.
Nicky, we are here for you - always on MSN if you need a shoulder. Y'know me not very good at the advice side of things but always have a warm hug ready for you.
I had a look at your face-pic profile and you are extremely beautiful.
Nicky, we are here for you - always on MSN if you need a shoulder. Y'know me not very good at the advice side of things but always have a warm hug ready for you.
I had a look at your face-pic profile and you are extremely beautiful.
It may be that he did not actually register for anything like that. I recently registered for an online sweepstakes for baby items for my granddaughter, and now I am getting all kinds of weird emails, many of them porn sites, and some of them thanking nme for registering with them, which I did not. I get at least 2 porn sites a day now, dating services, mortgage loans, and all kinds of crap like that. I am not saying that he did nothing wrong ever, but it is posible to get this junk without registering or asking for it. I hope all this works out for you.
Hi Nicky,
I am so sorry i did not reply to this sooner and supported you through this. But I am glad there has been so many other people around to support you at this hard time.
I have read all your posts and I really don't know what else I can say that everyone else hasn't. I am so sorry things have turned out this way and I wish i could help you more. But please know if you ever need to talk you can always message me.
By the way i looked at your web addy thing and your beautiful...and fawn...you two!
I hope things get better for you soon
Eva
I am so sorry i did not reply to this sooner and supported you through this. But I am glad there has been so many other people around to support you at this hard time.
I have read all your posts and I really don't know what else I can say that everyone else hasn't. I am so sorry things have turned out this way and I wish i could help you more. But please know if you ever need to talk you can always message me.
By the way i looked at your web addy thing and your beautiful...and fawn...you two!
I hope things get better for you soon
Eva
What????!!! You send him up to the land of Manc and I'll show him what for! Grrrr!
It is so difficult when you break up with someone after a long time - i've been there myself
You know where I am if you need to chat or if you need to send fella to learn a lesson!
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Well, not like you really need anymore advice on this, as I'm really late on this thread, but I think you're heading in the right direction by staying away from this guy Nicky. Registering on a sex/meeting site shows an immense lack of integrity whether your boyfriend was dating anyone or not. It most certainly does not compare to a social type site where there's simply a single photo of your face and a few non-explicit details about who you are. Then there's the issues of lying. I think some people quit somking... I think some people quit drinking and drugs... some people quit gambling... but big liars don't change. If you have friends or family who are suportive of you staying away from him, I hope you are spending more time with them. Best wishes getting over him.
I agree with Ryan.. This is for the best. You deserve MUCH better than this!! I went through almost the same thing actually... I was dating a guy long distance and I found out he was/is on facethejury.com well there were TONS of girls on his like list and all of these things saying how much he liked hanging out with them and more suggestive stuff... he tried to say the were old but it has the date next to them when he added them... >;-I BUSTED....
I read the whole thread, but really what matters most is what you said right at the beginning ^
Don't be blaming yoursef for reading his e-mail.
If he had nothing to hide he'd hide nothing. Really. My e-mail is accessible to my husband all day and vice versa. Both our e-mails come into Outlook into the same Inbox.
The way he lies to you is NOT okay.
The way he talks to you is NOT okay.
The way he doesn't care when something bad happens to you is NOT okay.
Why would you miss him or want to keep him around? I know it hurts when a relationship ends, but you deserve SO much more than what he is giving you (or isn't giving you). You DESERVE integrity, honestly, respect and compassion. Not hiding things, dishonestly, disrespect and spitefulness.
Don't be sad he's gone - be happy you're available for someone NICE who will treat you the way you deserve to be treated!
Be nice to yourself!
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- Thread Starter Thread Starter
- #90
well heres an update and testiment to how stupid i am.
he rang me crying saturday because he had just dropped his parents off at the airport with his grans ashes because they are going to india to scatter them. he was in a really bad state and i felt so bad because i forgot that this week his gran was going to be laid to rest. he was really upset and kept apologising for this whole thing so i went over.
we made up and i decided to stay for a while to keep him company because i felt so bad for him and because i wanted it all to be ok and work out.
we were fine for like a day but then we had a stupid argument over nothing the next morning and he totally erupted. he really freaked out and i was really scared. because we had just woken up i was only wearing what i'd gone to bed in, a t-shirt, and he wouldnt let me get dressed which just made me feel really vunerable and even more frightened.
he didnt hit me but he grabbed me and threw me around the room and told me he was going to smash my face in if i kept screaming and trying to get away. i managed to pull free and ran to the bathroom with a pair of shorts so i wouldnt be trying to fight him off half naked but he forced the door (i hadnt been able to locked it) and kept me corned for ages shouting at me.
in the end he let me put the shorts on and i tried to run out the house, i was screaming so loud i thought his neighbours would try to help or something. basically this went on for like an hour or more until he started crying and saying he was sorry and would never hurt me.
after a while i managed to persuade him to take me home because i had no money, no call credit and no way of getting back without him. he was really nasty to me the whole journey until we got close and then he kept apologising. in the end against my bettter judgement (i feel so embaressed telling you all this, i acted so stupidly and brought all this on myself.) let him come in and we talked. he apoligised and promised never to touch me again etc etc.
in the end i got dressed (i was still in shorts and t-shirt) and went back to his house. this was three days ago and up until now thing have been getting back on track. but today he had to go into uni and left me alone in his house to finish of my coursework on his computer.
his msn has a fault in it where you cant sign out (i think he has too versions on the computer i think. one of which i cant find and turn off). a minute ago a girl just msned him talking about how he just left her house when he was meant to be at uni.
then as i was doing a search on google for some articles for my research as i typed in the words past searchs popped up including those for loads of adult dating sites.
i dont know what to do. i wasnt even snooping this time! i also think he's registered on tcs as when i sent a pm the field was autofilled as i typed with a messege he had posted before (i dont know how to better explain it).
basically he will be home in under and hour and if i confront him i dont know if he will blow up at me again. i have no way of getting home, the cats are here with me. i'm really scared and trapped and dont know what to do. if i ring anyone to come and get me i will have to explain the whole thing then i will feel really stupid. plus everyone i knows at work.
i have no money for a cab or a bus and i cant do the 20min walk to a bus stop with the cats.
he rang me crying saturday because he had just dropped his parents off at the airport with his grans ashes because they are going to india to scatter them. he was in a really bad state and i felt so bad because i forgot that this week his gran was going to be laid to rest. he was really upset and kept apologising for this whole thing so i went over.
we made up and i decided to stay for a while to keep him company because i felt so bad for him and because i wanted it all to be ok and work out.
we were fine for like a day but then we had a stupid argument over nothing the next morning and he totally erupted. he really freaked out and i was really scared. because we had just woken up i was only wearing what i'd gone to bed in, a t-shirt, and he wouldnt let me get dressed which just made me feel really vunerable and even more frightened.
he didnt hit me but he grabbed me and threw me around the room and told me he was going to smash my face in if i kept screaming and trying to get away. i managed to pull free and ran to the bathroom with a pair of shorts so i wouldnt be trying to fight him off half naked but he forced the door (i hadnt been able to locked it) and kept me corned for ages shouting at me.
in the end he let me put the shorts on and i tried to run out the house, i was screaming so loud i thought his neighbours would try to help or something. basically this went on for like an hour or more until he started crying and saying he was sorry and would never hurt me.
after a while i managed to persuade him to take me home because i had no money, no call credit and no way of getting back without him. he was really nasty to me the whole journey until we got close and then he kept apologising. in the end against my bettter judgement (i feel so embaressed telling you all this, i acted so stupidly and brought all this on myself.) let him come in and we talked. he apoligised and promised never to touch me again etc etc.
in the end i got dressed (i was still in shorts and t-shirt) and went back to his house. this was three days ago and up until now thing have been getting back on track. but today he had to go into uni and left me alone in his house to finish of my coursework on his computer.
his msn has a fault in it where you cant sign out (i think he has too versions on the computer i think. one of which i cant find and turn off). a minute ago a girl just msned him talking about how he just left her house when he was meant to be at uni.
then as i was doing a search on google for some articles for my research as i typed in the words past searchs popped up including those for loads of adult dating sites.
i dont know what to do. i wasnt even snooping this time! i also think he's registered on tcs as when i sent a pm the field was autofilled as i typed with a messege he had posted before (i dont know how to better explain it).
basically he will be home in under and hour and if i confront him i dont know if he will blow up at me again. i have no way of getting home, the cats are here with me. i'm really scared and trapped and dont know what to do. if i ring anyone to come and get me i will have to explain the whole thing then i will feel really stupid. plus everyone i knows at work.
i have no money for a cab or a bus and i cant do the 20min walk to a bus stop with the cats.
Nicky pick up the cats and get out the house!!!.
If this hasn't dotted the I's and crossed the T's for you i don't know what will?!.
Whatever you do, DONT mention about this girl because you know he's going to blow a fuse.
Nicky ring anyone, even if you have to give them the full story just so you can get away.
If this hasn't dotted the I's and crossed the T's for you i don't know what will?!.
Whatever you do, DONT mention about this girl because you know he's going to blow a fuse.
Nicky ring anyone, even if you have to give them the full story just so you can get away.
- Thread Starter Thread Starter
- #92
i'm not going to tell him about the girl, i'm going to tell him i have to go home to get some books and take the cats back because Mav was sick on the carpet and is feeling home sick.
no one can pick me up, i've tried.
this has turned into such a mess. he just text me to say he'll be home in half hour.
i really hate myself right now for thinking this will all be ok. and to think maybe one of the people pming me advice was really him (he's done that to me before on another site).
no one can pick me up, i've tried.
this has turned into such a mess. he just text me to say he'll be home in half hour.
i really hate myself right now for thinking this will all be ok. and to think maybe one of the people pming me advice was really him (he's done that to me before on another site).
Ok, Nicky just be as calm as you can until he gets you and the cats safely home and don't make him suspicious?!.
Get as many of your things together just so you don't have to go back at anytime, then tell us when your home.
Get as many of your things together just so you don't have to go back at anytime, then tell us when your home.
oh my god nicky what the **** has happened!
dont be with him just because of what we discussed, he is not worth it!
If he has thrown you around like that its only ever going to get worse.
His appology means nothing to him.
Nicky there are so many better men out there please be safe.
dont be with him just because of what we discussed, he is not worth it!
If he has thrown you around like that its only ever going to get worse.
His appology means nothing to him.
Nicky there are so many better men out there please be safe.
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Nicky get out get out get out get out! He is dangerous and obviously out of control and you need to get away from him as quickly as you can - not only for your sake but your cats, too. He knows how much they mean to you he could use them to punish or hurt you. He will NOT change, he will only get worse, and apologise each time, and then you will be in real danger. If he is registered on TCS then that is too bad for him, basically, because everybody here knows what a loser he is.
Just get out of there and look after yourself and your babies. This is only getting worse and worse and is just an indication to you of what probably would have ended up happening in your relationship eventually anyway.
PLEASE get out of there - I know I am not the only one who is worried sick about you and this guy. I wish I lived there I would come and get you myself.
Just get out of there and look after yourself and your babies. This is only getting worse and worse and is just an indication to you of what probably would have ended up happening in your relationship eventually anyway.
PLEASE get out of there - I know I am not the only one who is worried sick about you and this guy. I wish I lived there I would come and get you myself.
She must be out by now so hopefully she'll let us know soon.
I wish i'd asked for her mobile number now so i could have text her
I am scared for this girl! Having been in an abusive relationship, Nicky, just because
"he didn't hit you" does NOT make this loser a hero.
He touched you and threatened you in a move of intimidation and desperation.
He is essentially using terror to control you....Sorry, you must realize all of this..
Its hard.
I really, really hope you are home safe now with the kits..Please let the ppls here know!!
(I hope she isn't giving in to his apologies right now or worse, arguing with him..It gets to be a bad cycle...)
I would have msned this girl back and asked her what was going on..But that woulda fuelled the fire I know and who cares anyway??
Please let us know here..I hate being on pins and needles wondering and worrying for someone!
"he didn't hit you" does NOT make this loser a hero.
He touched you and threatened you in a move of intimidation and desperation.
He is essentially using terror to control you....Sorry, you must realize all of this..
Its hard.
I really, really hope you are home safe now with the kits..Please let the ppls here know!!
(I hope she isn't giving in to his apologies right now or worse, arguing with him..It gets to be a bad cycle...)
I would have msned this girl back and asked her what was going on..But that woulda fuelled the fire I know and who cares anyway??
Please let us know here..I hate being on pins and needles wondering and worrying for someone!
