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we broke up

post #1 of 23
Thread Starter 
I'm so sad today. My boyfriend of a year and a half and I broke up last night. He just couldnt love me for who I was, mind and body and I needed more. I can't stop crying today. I really did love him.
Please send some hugs, I need support.
Jess
post #2 of 23
Oh Jess, I'm so sorry, darlin'! I'm sending you lots of {{{{HUGS}}}} but from experience, I'll also tell you that if he can't love you for who you are, you really are better off, though it doesn't seem like it now. Just remember that we're here if you need us, and if you want to chat, just pm me, or I'm on msn and yahoo all day today and tomorrow, ok?
post #3 of 23
It is always so sad when you invest time and love into a relationship and it falls apart. But rest assured that there is someone better out there for you, and I ams ure you will recognise him when he comes. Meanwhile, it is alright to cry and be unhappy, but don't blame yourself - it was simply not the right one.
post #4 of 23
Oh Jess, I know you hurt now, and that's ok, but in time, you'll see when one door closes, another one opens.......
post #5 of 23
Awww no break up is easy but if he couldn't love you for who you are?!

No matter how much you love him you have to keep reminding yourself this otherwise the more you think of it the more it could give you a low self esteem
post #6 of 23
Oh No Jess so sorry to heard that Sending (((((good vibes))))) yes I know it´s hurts now but you must to make a review of this... ............
post #7 of 23
Awww Jess - if this relationship wasn't right for you it was good that it ran its course - but of course you feel sad. But it will get better.
post #8 of 23
Quote:
Originally Posted by kittylover4ever
Oh Jess, I know you hurt now, and that's ok, but in time, you'll see when one door closes, another one opens.......
Perfect saying kittylover. I am sorry your hurting, I know how you feel. But think, now you'll be open to meet your true love!
post #9 of 23
Oh Jess, I am so sorry! It is so sad that you had invested that much time with him for him to realize that he couldn't love you for who you are. What a chump he is!
From personal experience, use this time to be sad and grieve the situation before moving on...it's important that you have closure within yourself before moving on. But, this I absolutely promise you 110%....this, too, shall pass and brighter days are ahead for you!
post #10 of 23
aww i know its hard, but you will be okay later and find new
post #11 of 23
Sorry to hear that Jess... it's so sad. You're still so young... You have plenty more love ahead of you. And with someone who will appreciate you for who you are.

Take care of yourself and go pick yourself up a couple of chocolates/truffles from The Elegant Gourmet downtown (if you're a chocolate lover, it's worth the expense).

Jenn
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sylorna
I'm so sad today. My boyfriend of a year and a half and I broke up last night. He just couldnt love me for who I was, mind and body and I needed more. I can't stop crying today. I really did love him.
Please send some hugs, I need support.
Jess
post #12 of 23
I am so sorry that you broke up. But it was the right thing to do if he couldnt love you for who you are. Because you, thats all you have to give. No second guessing. You deserve someone who can love you for you. And you are right, love goes on even when its over, but you have to move on, and it'll take time, but in the end, you'll be a better person for it.
post #13 of 23
Jess

I know you will feel better with time. For now, I wanted to tell you that it makes me proud to see a woman stand up for herself and leave when she knows she needs more. Your strength is admirable.
post #14 of 23
jess i cant say it any better than how the others have put it. i know how hard this is and i'm here if you want to talk (hugs)
post #15 of 23
Aww Jess! I'm so sorry to hear this! for you!
post #16 of 23
I wish I had some words of wisdom that would make you feel better. I am so sorry this happened, and hope bigger and better things are ahead for you. Here are a week's worth of hugs for you! If you need more, just ask, but hopefully you will be feeling better by then! Fred, my little lovebug sends headbutts and kitty loves!

post #17 of 23
Thread Starter 
Thank you all for your kind words. Today has been one of the hardest days I can ever remember....my eyes are raw from crying.
I got a call from his supervisor today looking for him...they're sending him to Sudan on Friday (airforce).
What a strange painful day. I am proud of myself for doing what had to be done, but am so sad that it did. I knew I had to when he told me that he couldn't love me unconditionally. We broke up because he wanted me to become more physically fit (apparently it hurt him to see me overweight and unfit) and told me that he'd leave me if I didn't. he says it's as if I were doing drugs and hurting myself that way...he can't watch it if it continues. I say that I need support and to know i"m loved if I'm going to make a life change, not to know that he's going to leave if I don't succeed.
I can't believe this has happened. I loved him so much.
post #18 of 23
First of all... your weight is NOT his business. If he can't accept you at your current weight, and is going to start using control tactics in order to scare you (would you honestly want to end up with someone like that anyway?), he's not worth another minute of your time.

For many men, weight isn't an issue at all. In fact, some men like curvier women (my last boyfriend thought I was too skinny and I'm a size 10/12) so keep that in mind. You are worth SO much more than that, and only you can decide if and when you're ready to lose weight.

Also, remember that even if you are overweight, it doesn't mean you're unhealthy. Some people are just heavier than others. Personally, I think your ex has been watching too much porn and looking at too many magazine covers to appreciate real women. Let him keep doing it, and he'll regret that ultimatum he gave you.

And DON'T go back. You are worth FAR more than that. I might be up in Midland in the next bit, so if you want to chat over coffee, PM me.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sylorna
Thank you all for your kind words. Today has been one of the hardest days I can ever remember....my eyes are raw from crying.
I got a call from his supervisor today looking for him...they're sending him to Sudan on Friday (airforce).
What a strange painful day. I am proud of myself for doing what had to be done, but am so sad that it did. I knew I had to when he told me that he couldn't love me unconditionally. We broke up because he wanted me to become more physically fit (apparently it hurt him to see me overweight and unfit) and told me that he'd leave me if I didn't. he says it's as if I were doing drugs and hurting myself that way...he can't watch it if it continues. I say that I need support and to know i"m loved if I'm going to make a life change, not to know that he's going to leave if I don't succeed.
I can't believe this has happened. I loved him so much.
post #19 of 23
:bump:
post #20 of 23
I'm so proud of you for being strong, even if you don't feel like you are. I know it must hurt, it always hurts to break up with someone you care about, but I believe you did the right thing if he treated you that way. I'm sure there's someone out there that will love you more than you could dream of being loved and I can't wait til we get to hear all about him! Way to stay strong and stand up for yourself!
post #21 of 23
Thread Starter 
So far today has been less hard...I suppose. I'm not crying as much, which is good. The unfortunate part is I have that stinky little voice in the back of my head saying "you loved him so much, how could you let him go? Maybe his requests do make sense? What about all of those hopes and dreams and plans you had with him? You know this means you'll never see him again, don't you?" It's horrible to think that way.
Don't worry, I know I was right, and I have a promise that I made to myself a long time ago. I'll never go back to any man that I've broken up with, because you break up for a reason, and those things don't go away.
I actually got enough sleep last night. I suppose that's a start, although I did wake up nautious. If only I could force myself to eat.
I'm so lucky to have such supportive friends and family, my parents spent last night holding me and telling me I did the right thing.
I supopse I should have known the minute he told me he didn't like cats. What was I thinking?
Man I miss him.
post #22 of 23
He didn't like cats!!! That's always the first question if I think things are getting serious.

Did you read my post above? Your weight is NONE of his business, so don't even think if you did get back together he wouldn't start trying to control you again by putting the fear in you. Noone should live like that.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sylorna
So far today has been less hard...I suppose. I'm not crying as much, which is good. The unfortunate part is I have that stinky little voice in the back of my head saying "you loved him so much, how could you let him go? Maybe his requests do make sense? What about all of those hopes and dreams and plans you had with him? You know this means you'll never see him again, don't you?" It's horrible to think that way.
Don't worry, I know I was right, and I have a promise that I made to myself a long time ago. I'll never go back to any man that I've broken up with, because you break up for a reason, and those things don't go away.
I actually got enough sleep last night. I suppose that's a start, although I did wake up nautious. If only I could force myself to eat.
I'm so lucky to have such supportive friends and family, my parents spent last night holding me and telling me I did the right thing.
I supopse I should have known the minute he told me he didn't like cats. What was I thinking?
Man I miss him.
post #23 of 23
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by vespacat
He didn't like cats!!! That's always the first question if I think things are getting serious.

Did you read my post above? Your weight is NONE of his business, so don't even think if you did get back together he wouldn't start trying to control you again by putting the fear in you. Noone should live like that.
No, he doesn't like cats, and is actually rather allergic to them. He liked Chester though, and even helped me adopt him from the humane society. Never again, I don't need a cat LOVER but someone who likes them is important.
My mom keeps on telling me he was controlling. His dad is very controlling, so I can see where he'd get that from, but I dont see it in him. Maybe I'll see more clearly in a week or two.
I've added you to my Yahoo list, incase you wanted to talk.
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