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And thank YOU for being there. It's meant a tremendous amount to me too.
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Simon's Story: A Cat's Tail... "a life celebrated".
- Thread starter 2Cats4everLoved
- Start Date
Every grief we experience is different. Even though it's you doing the grieving, each person or pet gone from your life was extraordinarily special and each occupied their own particular place in your heart, and it only makes sense that the grief will be very different for each. Particularly when your routine has been to provide hospice care, once they are gone, you are at such a loss because what had become your routine is gone as well. You don't seem to fit into your own life anymore. When my Tiger died after months of hospice care, I felt rootless, and so lost, almost as if I no longer knew who I was. I had spent every moment of every day for months tending to my sick little boy and I loved him intensely; he was my soulmate. He died in my arms at almost 19, and he was buried in the backyard. Tiger was terrified of thunder. And for years, every time it thundered I HATED the fact that he was out in it, even though I know that isn't really Tiger, and he isn't afraid of anything now. There is no logic to grief.
We were their caretakers, and that urge to take care of them doesn't end when their earthly life does. Little did I know that in exactly one year, I would also lose Tiger's 6 years younger sister, Maggie, my precious girl. I learned that for me, at least, doing something for others, even it it's just cooking a meal, gives me a focus and helps me when I'm grieving. Nothing helps me like continuing to take care of and help others. That's just how I am made. I have done it both ways when I lost my cats, I have adopted long afterward, and I have adopted the next day, thanks to my husband. NO animal or human on this earth is replaceable. We are all unique. But I have to say that when my husband came through the door with a tiny kitten because I was such a wreck after losing Tiger, all of a sudden there was this little sweet thing to take care of and to love, and it helped me so much. He cuddled with me when I cried for Tiger, he listened intently to me talk about every aspect of Tiger's life and death, he grew up hearing all about his big brother. And he made me laugh again. To this day, I believe that Tiger sent him. And now he too is a soulmate.
When we take our walks in the backyard, we talk to Tiger and to Maggie, who is buried right beside him. I have honestly told my husband that if we ever move, those long-buried cats are coming with us (and I have to laugh remembering the expression on his face). Time and distance from the event do help, but you have to live through that time to get there. That is the hard part. You really are not yourself after a deeply felt loss, how could you be? Part of you is missing. But I am beyond grateful for the abundance of love in my life, for being gifted with people and pets whose memories define me and make me a more loving person, a better person for having known them. Their greatest gift to me was allowing me to learn how to not only give great love, but how to receive it as well. These little ones of ours are our teachers. I have been there, I have hurt beyond anything I could ever have imagined, and I would do it all over again in a heartbeat, even knowing the price that must inevitably be paid. Every member of this forum is here because of love, because they are being taught unconditional love by little ones who wear fur. And even with the pain, we are so very blessed for having known them. And so I have opened my heart not only to that little kitten, Fritz, but to three others who were badly in need as well, because nothing the future may hold matters more than what we share today. Nothing. That great and special love triumphs every time.
We were their caretakers, and that urge to take care of them doesn't end when their earthly life does. Little did I know that in exactly one year, I would also lose Tiger's 6 years younger sister, Maggie, my precious girl. I learned that for me, at least, doing something for others, even it it's just cooking a meal, gives me a focus and helps me when I'm grieving. Nothing helps me like continuing to take care of and help others. That's just how I am made. I have done it both ways when I lost my cats, I have adopted long afterward, and I have adopted the next day, thanks to my husband. NO animal or human on this earth is replaceable. We are all unique. But I have to say that when my husband came through the door with a tiny kitten because I was such a wreck after losing Tiger, all of a sudden there was this little sweet thing to take care of and to love, and it helped me so much. He cuddled with me when I cried for Tiger, he listened intently to me talk about every aspect of Tiger's life and death, he grew up hearing all about his big brother. And he made me laugh again. To this day, I believe that Tiger sent him. And now he too is a soulmate.
When we take our walks in the backyard, we talk to Tiger and to Maggie, who is buried right beside him. I have honestly told my husband that if we ever move, those long-buried cats are coming with us (and I have to laugh remembering the expression on his face). Time and distance from the event do help, but you have to live through that time to get there. That is the hard part. You really are not yourself after a deeply felt loss, how could you be? Part of you is missing. But I am beyond grateful for the abundance of love in my life, for being gifted with people and pets whose memories define me and make me a more loving person, a better person for having known them. Their greatest gift to me was allowing me to learn how to not only give great love, but how to receive it as well. These little ones of ours are our teachers. I have been there, I have hurt beyond anything I could ever have imagined, and I would do it all over again in a heartbeat, even knowing the price that must inevitably be paid. Every member of this forum is here because of love, because they are being taught unconditional love by little ones who wear fur. And even with the pain, we are so very blessed for having known them. And so I have opened my heart not only to that little kitten, Fritz, but to three others who were badly in need as well, because nothing the future may hold matters more than what we share today. Nothing. That great and special love triumphs every time.
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I think everything you are thinking is natural and all part of the process of grieving
I'm so glad Simon's ashes are helping. I can definitely see you saying "good morning", etc. Why not? seems quite normal. When my best friend's dog died, she started carrying around an 8 x10 picture of him and put it just where he would normally be, so if we were sitting around in the living room, there his picture was, sitting on one of the couch cushions
It's been a couple of years and she still does it. Whatever works, I say.
I'm so glad Simon's ashes are helping. I can definitely see you saying "good morning", etc. Why not? seems quite normal. When my best friend's dog died, she started carrying around an 8 x10 picture of him and put it just where he would normally be, so if we were sitting around in the living room, there his picture was, sitting on one of the couch cushions
- Thread Starter Thread Starter
- #44
Just venting.
I've neglected the fish tank somewhat with all the commotion with Simon and so I just filled it up because it was down about 5 inches. I added the water as usual, then fed them. The Pictus Catfish, Mr. Speckles who was Simon's playmate and just turned 8, got spooked, swam twice up into the canopy and hit it really hard he almost jumped out of the tank. He was so healthy. I think one of the sharks spooked him while eating now he's stunned...
I then tried to remove him to rehab him in a small container but his gill got caught in the net, so I had to take a scissor and cut the net, finally got it off with tweezers and let him rest in the small container for a while and just put him back in the tank.
Not sure if he'll make it. Although he's swimming better.
He's so gorgeous. I can't believe this happened. What a freak thing.
When Simon died and I put him on his cat condo for Chestnut to look at Mr. Speckles was trying to get Simon's tail as he always used to.
I suppose time will tell. Just seems like another piece of Simon will be gone, they enjoyed endless playtime torturing each other through the glass. LOL.
I can't believe my other shark is going to be 25 on August 31st. and everyone else is dying. This sucks.
I've neglected the fish tank somewhat with all the commotion with Simon and so I just filled it up because it was down about 5 inches. I added the water as usual, then fed them. The Pictus Catfish, Mr. Speckles who was Simon's playmate and just turned 8, got spooked, swam twice up into the canopy and hit it really hard he almost jumped out of the tank. He was so healthy. I think one of the sharks spooked him while eating now he's stunned...
I then tried to remove him to rehab him in a small container but his gill got caught in the net, so I had to take a scissor and cut the net, finally got it off with tweezers and let him rest in the small container for a while and just put him back in the tank.
Not sure if he'll make it. Although he's swimming better.
He's so gorgeous. I can't believe this happened. What a freak thing.
When Simon died and I put him on his cat condo for Chestnut to look at Mr. Speckles was trying to get Simon's tail as he always used to.
I suppose time will tell. Just seems like another piece of Simon will be gone, they enjoyed endless playtime torturing each other through the glass. LOL.
I can't believe my other shark is going to be 25 on August 31st. and everyone else is dying. This sucks.
Just hugs.
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- #47
It totally blows...
Thanks @nerdgirl5
Upon further inspection, it looks like when feeding one of the sharks bit down on him. If he makes it through the night he'll be good.
He's breathing better and the shark named Pretty Boy, is guiding him and protecting him from the others. I have the tank next to the tv and find myself watching the fish more than the tv. It's one thing when they don't make the crucial 3 month mark but after years, you get attached. My doctor says watching the fish is why I have low heart rate and I'm always calm. LOL
Oh well, I can't even think about this. Fingers crossed...
Well, Simon will have his friend back. Lamont and Eddie would get a kick out of Mr. Speckles. LOL
Thanks @nerdgirl5
Upon further inspection, it looks like when feeding one of the sharks bit down on him. If he makes it through the night he'll be good.
He's breathing better and the shark named Pretty Boy, is guiding him and protecting him from the others. I have the tank next to the tv and find myself watching the fish more than the tv. It's one thing when they don't make the crucial 3 month mark but after years, you get attached. My doctor says watching the fish is why I have low heart rate and I'm always calm. LOL
Oh well, I can't even think about this. Fingers crossed...
Well, Simon will have his friend back. Lamont and Eddie would get a kick out of Mr. Speckles. LOL
Please don't stop singing You Are My Sunshine to your kitties! Sebastian and I certainly weren't meant to "claim it" in any way.
I totally get what you mean by having a "shadow" always under your feet. Simon sounds a lot like Sebastian in that respect.
Thinking of you and hoping for good things for the fish!I know so little about aquarium fish, other than how beautiful they are. I didn't realize a shark could share a tank with any other fish, so I find that amazing. An 8-year-old catfish? What is their normal life span? And a 25-year-old shark? Of course you are attached to them. I really hope Mr. Speckles bounces back, it was adorable hearing about he and Simon playing all those years. So sweet that the other shark is protecting him, and fascinating. We know so little about all creatures, really, about how they communicate, feel, interact and so on, and I love hearing about them. Hugs, etc.....
- Thread Starter Thread Starter
- #51
Thanks @MaggieMay, The sharks are actually iridescent sharks, in the cat fish family. My friend bred them by accident, which is rare. She gave me 4, 3 of the original died and I got the other two from a pet store in NYC. Mr. Speckles is 8 and I got him from a pet store in Queens, it was such a freak accident yesterday. I made the mistake after panicking and grabbed the non safety net and he got caught. But I don't think that added to his injuries.
He's hanging on. I think when one of the sharks bit him caused internal damage. I'm letting mother nature take care of this one. So far he's breathing pretty normal, and will hopefully gain his strength. I think too he banged his head hard twice after being bitten and that caused him further damage. It's unfortunate but I got my feelings still whirling from Simon.
I think they lived so long is because I treat them as if they are in the wild. The tank itself isn't very pretty or set up for my eyes, it's set up for them, they are bottom feeders and need room. I feed them lettuce, peas and fish flakes, brine shrimp and live blood worms. And I don't over feed at all, only a couple of times a week, that's the biggest mistake people make. I also move stuff around in the tank and keep it exciting for them, they like to explore. AND it used to be Simon's favorite thing to help out with. LOL
Fingers crossed... Thanks for asking.
They sound fabulous, and of course you would treat them as if they are in the wild. If I've ever known anyone to be an animal empath, it's you. You mentioned your low heart rate and calm demeanor and I know that comes across to all animals you interact with. Yes, everything is turned upside down right now, and panic is going to spring up. I would bet that you are the type of person who rarely, if ever, panics. Just try to take some deep breaths when you feel yourself staring to panic, or something weird that really helps me - put your face in front of an airconditioner or fan. That air blowing onto the face works wonders. I don't panic often, but when I do, I race to the nearest fan. I can just picture Simon Hot Stuff helping with the fish, lol. SO darned cute! Fingers crossed for Mr. Speckles.
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- #53
I'll have to find pictures of Simon with the fish, before he was ill. We had Clown Loaches, 4 of them named after the Bundy's from Married with Children. They live up to their name. They would sit on the sharks fins to catch a ride, and most of all, mess with Simon. I can't tell you how many times Simon jumped up and banged his nose on the glass trying to catch them. LOL So funny, we'd laugh so hard. And then Simon would run away embarrassed then come back and do it all over again. LOL I think he liked them because of their bright color.
Yes, you're right, our friends tease us and say we are the most laid back couple in NYC, if we were any more mellow we'd be 6ft under. LOL In business I'm tough but not at home, who needs the extra added aggravation. I panicked because the poor fish got tangled in the net. I still can't believe I grabbed the wrong one. But a hot flash kicked in and fried my brain momentarily. And I too am accustomed to sticking my body in front of the AC. LOL getting old sucks to say the least.
By the way, how is sweet girl Lexi doing.... I hope things are working out well for her.
Always a pleasure chatting with you.
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- #54
@GoHolistic No not thinking at all that you claimed it. LOL I just was being superstitious and respectful. After I wrote about singing it to Simon in Simon's Diary in the health section, I came across your tribute for Sebastian and it gave me chills.
Please don't stop singing You Are My Sunshine to your kitties! Sebastian and I certainly weren't meant to "claim it" in any way.Every once in a while, I'll work up the courage to sing some of Sebastian's songs (he had his own) in memory of him, but I often break down in tears as a result.
I totally get what you mean by having a "shadow" always under your feet. Simon sounds a lot like Sebastian in that respect.
Chestnut's song of course is The Christmas Song - Chestnuts Roasting Over an Open Fire - And I like to think it's Christmas everyday, so that one works out well. LOL
May I ask what program you used to make that tribute? I made a nice Gif for Simon with music, but youtube won't support it. I'm too brain dead to deal with it at the moment. LOL
I really love the tissue paper video of Sebastian, it really makes me think of Simon. I love it. Simon and Sebastian do sound like they liked the same games. LOL Now they're scooching and swatting clouds in the sky.
Keep writing those songs. Check out Sad Piano Songs on Youtube...
LOL. That is funny about Chestnut's song. I can totally hear it.
I used Windows MovieMaker. It was already installed on my new laptop, so I figured I'd give it a go. The hardest part was trimming the video down to a reasonable length. It started at about 27 minutes long!
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I think we'd love to see a picture of your sharks! @2Cats4everLoved ....and wishing your poorly one better too..
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- #57
Simon's Story: A Cat's Tail... "a life celebrated"
Unfortunately @Edwardthefirst, I had to put Mr. Speckles on ice a few minutes. Fish are pretty resilient creatures and most often with a little Stress Coat they can heal and bounce back, but what I feared actually happened. Mr. Speckles was bitten just below his pelvic fin, on his belly. I think after he freaked out the additional pressure from hard blow to the canopy may have added to him being paralyzed. Although I wasn't sure then, it's clearer now with the wound noticeable the bite may have also severed his spine besides being internal. Since I was sure today he would not recover I took him out of the tank and put him on ice.
He along with my other shark who died at the age of 19 years old will be sent out to rest in Jamaica Bay, Queens NY. Circle of Life...
Mr. Speckles used to torture Simon every chance he got. He was a very entertaining fish and loved to play with the Bird on String and the Cat Dancer toys. LOL Outside the tank of course. I think in his last life he was a cat. LOL
Anyway, below are Simon's friends:
Below, Mr. Speckles last Summer
Below, Oaty (left), Pretty Boy (top right) and camera shy Handsome (bottom right)
Below, after the injury,
Below, Oaty protecting Mr. Speckles
Below, Oaty, 24years - will turn 25 August 31st. - you can't tell but he's a foot long and keeps growing.
I have better pictures of the fish with Simon, I'll have to comb through the cloud and search for when I finally write my tribute to my sweet boy Simon.
I'm not ready yet. My hubby is going away on business soon, and I'm thinking that will be a good time for me to reflect on my own and let my feelings come to light. I'm finding denial is a good thing.
Thanks for asking. I hope all is going well with you. Best always. Hope & Chestnut
Unfortunately @Edwardthefirst, I had to put Mr. Speckles on ice a few minutes. Fish are pretty resilient creatures and most often with a little Stress Coat they can heal and bounce back, but what I feared actually happened. Mr. Speckles was bitten just below his pelvic fin, on his belly. I think after he freaked out the additional pressure from hard blow to the canopy may have added to him being paralyzed. Although I wasn't sure then, it's clearer now with the wound noticeable the bite may have also severed his spine besides being internal. Since I was sure today he would not recover I took him out of the tank and put him on ice.
He along with my other shark who died at the age of 19 years old will be sent out to rest in Jamaica Bay, Queens NY. Circle of Life...
Mr. Speckles used to torture Simon every chance he got. He was a very entertaining fish and loved to play with the Bird on String and the Cat Dancer toys. LOL Outside the tank of course. I think in his last life he was a cat. LOL
Anyway, below are Simon's friends:
Below, Mr. Speckles last Summer
Below, Oaty (left), Pretty Boy (top right) and camera shy Handsome (bottom right)
Below, after the injury,
Below, Oaty protecting Mr. Speckles
Below, Oaty, 24years - will turn 25 August 31st. - you can't tell but he's a foot long and keeps growing.
I have better pictures of the fish with Simon, I'll have to comb through the cloud and search for when I finally write my tribute to my sweet boy Simon.
I'm not ready yet. My hubby is going away on business soon, and I'm thinking that will be a good time for me to reflect on my own and let my feelings come to light. I'm finding denial is a good thing.
Thanks for asking. I hope all is going well with you. Best always. Hope & Chestnut
I am so sorry Mr Speckles didn't make it.
I had to laugh at you naming the fish after the Bundy's. I loved Married With Children, so those names are hilarious to me. I can just see Peg and Al hitching a ride on a shark's fin. What a treat for Simon to have all of those fish living with him. I bet he was endlessly fascinated by them and to think they actually played together is amazing. I really look forward to seeing pics of Simon and the fish, that funny funny boy!
Lexi is enduring lots of lymphatic swelling in her back legs, she has good days and bad days. This week she's been getting Sub-Q fluids and B12, which seem to have helped her general demeanor, Cerenia for nausea and an appetite stimulant. I just wish something could help with the swelling. Thank heavens for Buprenex. The really hopeful news is that the vet is going to try the Vitamin D3 formulated for cats. She gets her blood test for D3 levels on Monday. After that, all that's really left to try is prednisolone. She is such a good, sweet-natured little thing who takes all of this in stride. All of these sick babies amaze me with their courage. One day at a time right now.... Thank you for asking about her.
SO sorry to hear about Mr. Speckles, Hope. I was so hoping he would recover. Hugs....
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@2Cats4everLoved Morning! Apologies for the delay in fish appreciation before my country descended into total lunacy on Thursday night!!!! #brexausted
I'm really sorry to hear about Mr Speckles - and I am astonished that usually fish of this type live for so long Hope. I honestly had no idea. What a brilliant investment as a pet. I absolutely love the fella with the big googly eyes.
I imagine they are lovely to sit and look at of an evening moving elegantly around their tank.
Mr Speckles was a very pretty fish. Rest in peace sir and sending hugs from London, Kate
I'm really sorry to hear about Mr Speckles - and I am astonished that usually fish of this type live for so long Hope. I honestly had no idea. What a brilliant investment as a pet. I absolutely love the fella with the big googly eyes.
I imagine they are lovely to sit and look at of an evening moving elegantly around their tank.
Mr Speckles was a very pretty fish. Rest in peace sir and sending hugs from London, Kate
