I hadn't read this post when I wrote mine about him having wings now. It seems very fitting that the cat statue with wings be next to his urn. He will always be near you.
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My Sweet Angel Baby Crossed the Rainbow Bridge 2/5/16
- Thread starter angels mommy
- Start Date
Dearest Kelly, I know we have never met in the real world, but in following your journey with Angel, I feel as if I know you, because we have shared some of the same experiences. I am so very sorry for your loss, and I grieve with you. I know you are wrecked with a lot of conflicting emotions right now, and that is natural. You feel guilt over having to put him down, I felt the same way when cancer and severe respiratory distress forced me to put my sweet Midnight to sleep. But Kelly, know that you did a wonderful thing for Angel. You ended his suffering. You sacrificed your own feelings to let him go to the Rainbow Bridge, where he will never hurt again. That is true courage, and if I was there right now in your home, I would give you a great big hug.
Angel was an important part of your life. Grieve for him. Cry, yell out in frustration, pound the wall. Hold a favorite toy or a blanket with his scent on it. I did all that and more after letting Midnight go. You are experiencing the stages of grief, as I did. People who have never been emotionally attached to a pet as we are with our furry babies will never realize that we mourn over them in the same way that others mourn over a person. There is truly no difference in that regard. We are grieving over a loved one. It matters not if it is a person or a cat. The pain, the sadness, the emptiness--it is still the same.
Angel is finally free of the pain. You gave him that precious gift. He loved you for all it was worth, and he accepted you as his mommy. He blessed your life; you blessed his just as well. One day, the two of you will meet again. And when you do, it will be glorious. My thoughts, lover, and prayers to you, Miss Kelly. Angel eternal.
Angel was an important part of your life. Grieve for him. Cry, yell out in frustration, pound the wall. Hold a favorite toy or a blanket with his scent on it. I did all that and more after letting Midnight go. You are experiencing the stages of grief, as I did. People who have never been emotionally attached to a pet as we are with our furry babies will never realize that we mourn over them in the same way that others mourn over a person. There is truly no difference in that regard. We are grieving over a loved one. It matters not if it is a person or a cat. The pain, the sadness, the emptiness--it is still the same.
Angel is finally free of the pain. You gave him that precious gift. He loved you for all it was worth, and he accepted you as his mommy. He blessed your life; you blessed his just as well. One day, the two of you will meet again. And when you do, it will be glorious. My thoughts, lover, and prayers to you, Miss Kelly. Angel eternal.
It will. And having a cat doesn't mean you can't travel. Since you run a cleaning business you should have an ear to the ground for potential stellar cat sitters endorsed by Mary Poppins. It really is one day at a time Kelly. Sometimes minute by minute. We had our first really good day yesterday. Over two months before we had some time where we felt like us again. And again it's if and when you're ready to bring a new cat into your life.
His crate and beds are hurting no one if they aren't hurting you. My rule has been is my behavior harming my husband, our other pets, finances. Am I getting the necessary things in life done every day. I will take care of myself. I believe it has been a major factor in avoiding a major bout of depression. Going out the first few times was like a system shock. Coming home will be awful. Just prepare yourself for it. We go out once a week to eat now. Because we need new rituals.
My babies all shared everything - toys, beds, bowls, etc. So whenever one passed, it just meant one less critter was using it. But, they all had their "spots" that they claimed, ironically enough. The top of the bed was always Lucky's spot. The boys weren't really allowed, although they would sneak up there when he was sleeping. I'd wake up draped in black and white kitties! Then there was the spot on the floor near my bathroom. The floor there was always warm, and Lucky was always there. One day, Oscar and now Oliver took it over. I still have to do a double-take when I see a black and white ball of fluff.
The only physical stuff I have that was truly just Lucky's were his meds. I still keep the bottle of methimazole that has his name on it and just pour Sara's into that one, because I can't stand the idea of throwing it away. All the pill bottles with his name on them, I still have. One day, I'll get rid of them. Just not yet.
And of course the can his cremains are in. They're on the same shelf as the meds. I've debated getting an urn but just can't afford it yet. Sara and Maple have medical bills that need paying. So, one day perhaps. Probably not though, knowing me.
One day you will find another fur-baby that you will fall in love with. I don't think it's an "if" because you just have way too much love in your heart. You may, or may not, decide to use the same beds and toys that Angel used. Somehow though, I'm thinking not. I say that because even when I get a new kitty, I feel a need to get some new thing for them. When the kittens came along, I got a new cat tree. All of the kitties have loved it. It just feels right to do that.
The only physical stuff I have that was truly just Lucky's were his meds. I still keep the bottle of methimazole that has his name on it and just pour Sara's into that one, because I can't stand the idea of throwing it away. All the pill bottles with his name on them, I still have. One day, I'll get rid of them. Just not yet.
And of course the can his cremains are in. They're on the same shelf as the meds. I've debated getting an urn but just can't afford it yet. Sara and Maple have medical bills that need paying. So, one day perhaps. Probably not though, knowing me.
One day you will find another fur-baby that you will fall in love with. I don't think it's an "if" because you just have way too much love in your heart. You may, or may not, decide to use the same beds and toys that Angel used. Somehow though, I'm thinking not. I say that because even when I get a new kitty, I feel a need to get some new thing for them. When the kittens came along, I got a new cat tree. All of the kitties have loved it. It just feels right to do that.
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- #85
Aww, Margd, silly,
The sight of the empty gray bed with pink lining just hit me very hard. I am so used to seeing Angel in it. Angel touched us all, so deeply - he was such a very special boy. You have handled all this with such grace and strength, it's been a real inspiration. It's very good to see you still here on the site.
Thank you.
I went out for the first time yesterday. I had some pictures of him printed out at CVS, & went to Hobby Lobby for scrapbook paper. My mom went with me. I was fine. It's just weird coming home to an empty place, where he's not there to greet me, or for me to go seek out & smother with kisses! Friday is my once a month client, so thought that would be good to get back into the routine of doing, then still have the weekend. I have also needed this time off, because the last two months have been exhausting. I have been sleeping in when I can, & it's been nice. Needed!
Yes, I agree, you have to do what feels right to you. I am just letting that dictate for now. His tree is still up as well, on the other side of the entertainment center.
I might have a few ... or maybe I'd be inspired to write
- Thread Starter Thread Starter
- #87
Okaaaay, I'm going to remember that. May be coming soon......I might have a few ... or maybe I'd be inspired to write
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(Hey, Kelly, just a little bit of silly humour, to get you to smile. You know how you mentioned winning the lottery on your last thread, and then going around to all the global members and giving out hugs.
Well, I was just thinking "when," and not "if" you do, ..could you perhaps win mega, mega millions?? My idea is that you can still come out and give the hugs, but at the same time you can fly us all out to some tropical island, like Hawaii or Bermuda, and we can all meet up there. Sure, it might cost more... but seeing as mega millions are in the future, its do-able....Okay, brilliant idea of mine, is over.
Now getting back to the real world.)
It's good to pay off your care credit, and travel, or do whatever you have to, and just have some time to re-energize and recoup, because it might not feel like it right away, but you're still adjusting to not having Angel around, and dealing with all those emotions, that sometimes just seem to hit out of the blue.
(I actually get comfort in seeing the things that used to belong to my rainbow cats, too, but I guess everyone is different. And it does not bring me sadness, because I remember how they loved sleeping there, or using/playing with the toy. I love the fact that another one of my cats would enjoy using that bed, or playing with a particular toy.)
There was this little toy, on your bottom shelf, some kind of teddy/dog with a huge smile on their face, that always made me smile, when I saw it. And that little white bunny, from your 'Angel adopting you' story, that one looks so cute, too. I guess all those things hold good memories, too.
Well, I was just thinking "when," and not "if" you do, ..could you perhaps win mega, mega millions?? My idea is that you can still come out and give the hugs, but at the same time you can fly us all out to some tropical island, like Hawaii or Bermuda, and we can all meet up there. Sure, it might cost more... but seeing as mega millions are in the future, its do-able....Okay, brilliant idea of mine, is over.
Now getting back to the real world.)
It's good to pay off your care credit, and travel, or do whatever you have to, and just have some time to re-energize and recoup, because it might not feel like it right away, but you're still adjusting to not having Angel around, and dealing with all those emotions, that sometimes just seem to hit out of the blue.
Ohhh, that wanting to smell our cats on their bedding. Yes, I remember doing that as well, and then the smell faded, and couldn't anymore, too.Thank you, & no, it doesn't sound crazy at all! You must have been picking up my energy, both thinking of Angel, because I had a good little cry last night too. I wanted to smell him on his beds, but couldn't anymore.He used to always have a sweet smell to him, I used to say it was because he was SOO sweet on the inside, (like cotton candy, sounds weird, but seriously!) I could smell it on the outside. But towards the end, he just didn't have that anymore. I know it was because of the cancer.
I have them stacked, ready to wash, & put away up in a closet somewhere. I just can't get rid of them, besides they are nice beds, & had the thought of IF & when another one comes along, I would have them.
..........BUT, a part of me also isn't sure if I could do that, because they were HIS bed's, ya know??? Maybe by then, I will be okay w/ it, as it will probably be a long time from now.
Here they are, also, that little sculpture of the cat w/ angel wings there on the shelf to the left, is one I found at habitat one day last year, I think it was. When I finally pick out & get an urn, I will place it next to it as well.
So weird for that bottom shelf to be empty. That's where his basket FULL of toys & brushes sat. I also put that tall vase there beside the shelf to put his wand toys in, as they fit better there, & then didn't get tangled in the basket anymore. Since his litter box was a long under the bed storage box, after I dumped & cleaned it, (which I did every 2 wks anyway) I put all of the toys, & brushes in there, & put it under my bed, along w/ his new carrier.
(I actually get comfort in seeing the things that used to belong to my rainbow cats, too, but I guess everyone is different. And it does not bring me sadness, because I remember how they loved sleeping there, or using/playing with the toy. I love the fact that another one of my cats would enjoy using that bed, or playing with a particular toy.)
There was this little toy, on your bottom shelf, some kind of teddy/dog with a huge smile on their face, that always made me smile, when I saw it. And that little white bunny, from your 'Angel adopting you' story, that one looks so cute, too. I guess all those things hold good memories, too.
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How funny my first shopping trip not for necessities was to Hobby Lobby for scrapbook supplies and picture frames.
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- #90
"Sounds like a crafting weekend is coming!"
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Dear Angel,
When you rest after playing with other cats at the Rainbow Bridge please read all our tributes to you. So left your mommy and the rest of us. I followed your battle with cancer on this marvellous site. You have fought tenaciously but lost. What a handsome cat you’re! It’s joy looking at your pictures and reading about you. My Jethro was also like you. An affectionate, loving and talking cat. He left me last April and I am still crying. He’s there with you and all of you are looking at us wondering how to comfort us. You, Jethro and other cats know how much we love you, how much we pamper you, and cherish the companionship you gave us. We appreciate the unconditional love you gave us. By leaving us you left a deep, inerasable mark on us. Remember, our eyes are filled with tears when we read about all the departed cats. One day I too will depart from this world. My Jethro will receive me at the Rainbow Bridge and I am sure he will introduce me to you. Then we will play. Yes, I will bring toys to play with. Greetings to all the cats frolicking at the Rainbow Bridge.
Castle Cat (Late Jethro’s humble servant)
When you rest after playing with other cats at the Rainbow Bridge please read all our tributes to you. So left your mommy and the rest of us. I followed your battle with cancer on this marvellous site. You have fought tenaciously but lost. What a handsome cat you’re! It’s joy looking at your pictures and reading about you. My Jethro was also like you. An affectionate, loving and talking cat. He left me last April and I am still crying. He’s there with you and all of you are looking at us wondering how to comfort us. You, Jethro and other cats know how much we love you, how much we pamper you, and cherish the companionship you gave us. We appreciate the unconditional love you gave us. By leaving us you left a deep, inerasable mark on us. Remember, our eyes are filled with tears when we read about all the departed cats. One day I too will depart from this world. My Jethro will receive me at the Rainbow Bridge and I am sure he will introduce me to you. Then we will play. Yes, I will bring toys to play with. Greetings to all the cats frolicking at the Rainbow Bridge.
Castle Cat (Late Jethro’s humble servant)
Loved this.
- Thread Starter Thread Starter
- #94
So cute! Love the frame. Yes, "purrrrrfect!"
I'm sorry to hear of the loss of your fur baby.
Kelly, I was off line with no computer or anything for over a week and reading all of Angel's updates and this new thread was totally unexpected. I was so hopeful for your Angel, and feel terribly sad for you that his cancer was so strong. Your bond with each other has been incredibly strong and no person could have fought more and put more energy in to helping their friend or family to get well than you have done for Angel. What a lucky cat, and lucky you to have shared your life with such an amazing being.
I struggled to be in my home when I lost my last cat. I hated coming home to and being in a place where there was no cat, and sadness took over when ever I was having to face time there. For me I couldn't cope with much time before finding another cat no matter how close I had been with my Pal, and know she understood that in me. I still feel that both Pal and her sister are still here in some way but Mouse is the current master of my home. That said, my way of managing the time after I had to say goodbye to Pal was to be out with friends and family as much as possible (when I wasn't at work), and I also took the opportunity to go away for weekends and for a 2 week holiday for the first time since adopting cats. I didn't have loads to throw away so I made the most of being able to stay away over night to catch up with friends who lived some distance away. Then took a longer trip I managed to get discount train tickets for to go see a couple of friends living a few hundred miles away but close to each other, then on to a member of my family who wasn't too far from the same area. I definitely recommend taking a holiday or break somewhere if you can, work commitments permitting: not only do your own energies need reviving after such a tiring and emotional time, but thinking clearly and concentrating on work when you are working through such difficult things can be hard. Being away from regular routine and places can sometimes help to re-balance thoughts if you can cope with being away from space where you expect to see Angel too.
Your scrap book and photos sound really positive and I really hope for you that they help you get through this time. To me, anything creative can be healing, and yew, why not writing!
Angel will always be with you in your heart and in your mind, and one day (hopefully soon) you will start to feel that when you breath the air is filling your lungs again and that hole in your heart is filled with Angel's spirit.
I struggled to be in my home when I lost my last cat. I hated coming home to and being in a place where there was no cat, and sadness took over when ever I was having to face time there. For me I couldn't cope with much time before finding another cat no matter how close I had been with my Pal, and know she understood that in me. I still feel that both Pal and her sister are still here in some way but Mouse is the current master of my home. That said, my way of managing the time after I had to say goodbye to Pal was to be out with friends and family as much as possible (when I wasn't at work), and I also took the opportunity to go away for weekends and for a 2 week holiday for the first time since adopting cats. I didn't have loads to throw away so I made the most of being able to stay away over night to catch up with friends who lived some distance away. Then took a longer trip I managed to get discount train tickets for to go see a couple of friends living a few hundred miles away but close to each other, then on to a member of my family who wasn't too far from the same area. I definitely recommend taking a holiday or break somewhere if you can, work commitments permitting: not only do your own energies need reviving after such a tiring and emotional time, but thinking clearly and concentrating on work when you are working through such difficult things can be hard. Being away from regular routine and places can sometimes help to re-balance thoughts if you can cope with being away from space where you expect to see Angel too.
Your scrap book and photos sound really positive and I really hope for you that they help you get through this time. To me, anything creative can be healing, and yew, why not writing!
Angel will always be with you in your heart and in your mind, and one day (hopefully soon) you will start to feel that when you breath the air is filling your lungs again and that hole in your heart is filled with Angel's spirit.
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- #97
@Crazy4Strays , Thank you.
@MServant, Thank you so much. I heard you were having computer problems, so yes, there was a lot to catch up on. It's not how I expected things to go either. Especially after the chemo was shrinking the tumor in his tummy. It was very disappointing to hear that it had spread! He was probably ready to go that last week, but I was hoping it was just a "rough patch" that he could get through after getting more food in him. But sadly, it really was the beging of the end. It's been difucult, but each day gets a little easier, until there is a moment. I had left his tree & beds out, not ready to put them away just yet, but today I was cleaning, so thought it might be a good idea. I moved the tree & beds into the corner in the kitchen by the dryer, where his litter box used to be. I will adventually wash the beds & put them away for now.
I was talking to my mom on the phone, & telling her what I had done, & got choked up when I said that it just feels empty in here now.
Tomorrow will be one week already! They should be calling me soon to come & pick him up. I have had the blessing of the whole week off, (until tomorrow), so that has helped. After the last two months, I just needed some rest. I have my once a month client tomorrow, so I am going to do that, to get back in the routine of things, & then will have the weekend again, so it's a good way to ease back into my normal schedule.
I will be out near the vets, so if I haven't heard from them by time I leave that house in the afternoon, I will call them & see if they have his ashes back yet. That's going to be hard. I don't have an urn yet, but have looked at some on line. Looking for "the right one."
One of my neighbors slipped some flowers in my door today. The camellias I picked on my walk Saturday finally dropped off the branch, on the ones by his picture in my room, so I put the flowers she gave me there. The wooden cat sculpture was something my parents brought me back from a cruise they took a few years ago.
@MServant, Thank you so much. I heard you were having computer problems, so yes, there was a lot to catch up on. It's not how I expected things to go either. Especially after the chemo was shrinking the tumor in his tummy. It was very disappointing to hear that it had spread! He was probably ready to go that last week, but I was hoping it was just a "rough patch" that he could get through after getting more food in him. But sadly, it really was the beging of the end. It's been difucult, but each day gets a little easier, until there is a moment. I had left his tree & beds out, not ready to put them away just yet, but today I was cleaning, so thought it might be a good idea. I moved the tree & beds into the corner in the kitchen by the dryer, where his litter box used to be. I will adventually wash the beds & put them away for now.
I was talking to my mom on the phone, & telling her what I had done, & got choked up when I said that it just feels empty in here now.
Tomorrow will be one week already! They should be calling me soon to come & pick him up. I have had the blessing of the whole week off, (until tomorrow), so that has helped. After the last two months, I just needed some rest. I have my once a month client tomorrow, so I am going to do that, to get back in the routine of things, & then will have the weekend again, so it's a good way to ease back into my normal schedule.
I will be out near the vets, so if I haven't heard from them by time I leave that house in the afternoon, I will call them & see if they have his ashes back yet. That's going to be hard. I don't have an urn yet, but have looked at some on line. Looking for "the right one."
One of my neighbors slipped some flowers in my door today. The camellias I picked on my walk Saturday finally dropped off the branch, on the ones by his picture in my room, so I put the flowers she gave me there. The wooden cat sculpture was something my parents brought me back from a cruise they took a few years ago.
You have a beautiful memorial of Angel on your table. I have something very similar in my home for my dog Missy who passed 2 years ago. Instead of a lovely phote, I have a beautiful pencil drawing a friend did of her, along with a lovely vase, some Missy momentos and of course her ashes in a lovely urn that has paw prints engraved all over it. (I need to take a picture of that table). I now have an indoor cat, Katy whom I got at a north Georgia SPCA shelter after Christmas, a Christmas present to myself, whom I am enjoying thoroughly. That table I just described will always be Missy's, as long as I am alive. Again, all my best.
I don't remember a time when I had just one cat. I've always had two or more. I
I remember my RB kitty, Ghost, always smelled like baby powder. I loved sniffing him. He slept with me and it was really rough when his scent was gone. I even put some actual baby powder on my bed but it just wasn't the same. Now when I smell a soft baby powder scent I always know he's near me.
I just saw this thread and am so very sorry about the loss of your Angel. As you may know, my Tony crossed Rainbow Bridge on Jan. 18, so I can definitely feel what you are feeling, since it is still so fresh. My thoughts are with you and please know that I am thinking of you. Angel is a special name , you may remember we have a little Angel also, a little girl, who was a stray and adopted us around 11 years ago. Please know that I am feeling your pain, along with mine. If you would like to PM me please do so.
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