Introduction problems

feralvr

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I'm thinking this is all looking good. It's just so sweet how Shad wants to make friends with her :heart3:
WOW - certainly sounds like HUGE, giant strides and that Asha is fitting in perfectly with her new fur-family. The low growls are completely to be expected. Females are very good at those. :lol3: I have one, Perla, and she still growls at Wendall after four years. :rolleyes: He can't (or isn't allowed :worship:) to come to close to her, the :princess:.


You are lucky, your introductions are one of the faster ones. :lol3:
TOTALLY!!!! :bigthumb:
 
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Columbine

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Thanks guys :D I feel very lucky that introductions have been so smooth. I think it helps that my two boys (Pixie the greyhound and Shadow) are some of the most laid back animals I've ever encountered :lol3: The labrador is more boisterous, but has been trained to within an inch of her life - she still starts a naughty act, but can be prevented from the follow through!

:lol3: at Perla and Wendall...I have a feeling that Miss Asha (or Princess Asha as my mum calls her) will be ruling the roost here before too long ;)
 

feralvr

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:lol3: at Perla and Wendall...I have a feeling that Miss Asha (or Princess Asha as my mum calls her) will be ruling the roost here before too long ;)
:worship: :princess: ASHA !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ;)

I certainly am happy about how things are going but............... :anon: please do get her spayed as soon as you think she can be because I worry that her hormones could turn her into something no one wants to see and certainly don't want her to develop any behavioral problems because of it.

(ok - enough said about that because I know you already know ;) :lol:) I just can't help myself sometimes by foreseeing ahead to possible issues and feeling the need to address and caution. :rolleyes:
 
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Columbine

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I'm fully aware of the need to spay her. She's got one more day left before she's completely off her prescription gastrointestinal food. No more stomach probs so far :cross: Assuming that things continue as they have been I'll be calling the vets at the start of next week to discuss spaying again. Asha's looking much better than she was - still a little skinny, but far less worrying :) I can't make the vet operate before she's happy to (nor would I want to, but I think she's almost ready. As there's approx a 10-14 day wait for non emergency surgery I think our timing's going to be about right.

Asha's still got a lump under her jaw that's showing no signs of going away. I very much doubt it's anything sinister but I'd quite like it investigated so I know what it is. The spaying would be a perfect time to check that out too.

So...fingers crossed for no heat in the next couple of weeks... :cross: :)
 
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Columbine

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Amusing development - Asha just went to use Shadow's (covered) litter box. There was one problem...Shadow was already in there! I heard Asha growling and went to investigate. She was stood to one side of the box, just a few inches from the entrance. Shad was half in half out looking at her with total bemusement '...what??? Can't a cat use the loo in peace...' I moved between them and Asha backed off. Shad came fully out and just sat and looked after her. She started to come back down, saw him still there and backed off again. After a minute or two Shad turned round and calmly went back downstairs. I think Asha went back when the coast was clear.

I wish I'd got a picture. I've never seen two more surprised cats in all my life :lol3:
 

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Once Jed (the tabby) was sitting on one side minding his own business. Grooming. Bunny (the white one) came up towards him. I was surprised because she tries to avoid him usually. She went nearer... and nearer.... and Jed just stood there... and nearer she went, until their noses touched for a brief moment.

Then she hissed so loudly at him and ran away. He was left holding the bag, with his mouth open wide for a few seconds, like "...the heck was that about??" View media item 267412
 
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Columbine

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:lol3: That last pic is fantastic!

The best story I have on those lines is this:-

When I was a kid we had many cats. Two were british shorthair littermates (Amber and Jamie). They always used to play fight together. When I was 12 or so (the boys would have been around 6) we took in Baby - a feral youngster - about Asha's age,or a little older. One day he saw the boys having a wrestling match. He thought it looked like fun,so launched himself on top of them. You've never seen two cats jump apart as fast they did. I swear they had vertical take off (from a lying down position - they'd been happily kicking each other's head in). I've never seen stinkeye like it! :lol3: Needless to say, Baby never tried to join in again!
 

feralvr

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Asha's still got a lump under her jaw that's showing no signs of going away. I very much doubt it's anything sinister but I'd quite like it investigated so I know what it is. The spaying would be a perfect time to check that out too.
:cross: that the lump is nothing serious. Spay surgeries are a good time for an overall inspection of anything worrisome. :vibes: :vibes:


I wish I'd got a picture. I've never seen two more surprised cats in all my life :lol3:
:lol3: I love that. Very amusing indeed. So many times I have missed funny antics and surprising events by not having my phone with me to get a picture or video.
 
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smokem

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Yeah-always thought the "tomcat" was so tough-turns out

he needed the most reassurance-he is very aware of being "replaced"

having a female made him the most loving baby of all-very insecure the male cat ,

needing reassurance-but wait!maybe boys are needing reassurance too,

?introductions??they are well aware of each other-its us stupid humans trying to keep up
 
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Columbine

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Things are going on pretty much as before. There were another couple of litter box moments, but things seen to have settled down now. Asha's getting more and more confident with exploring the house. Leah (the labrador) is definitely scared of Asha now - she just has to see Asha in a room and she'll turn tail and go elsewhere! I find it funny, but feel sorry for her too. Asha's not that nasty to her...she only hisses when she sees Leah, nothing more. Shadow has taken to checking the coast is clear before using the box now, but I think it's caution rather than anything more worrying.

Spoke to the vet - she wants to do an exam before booking the spaying. We're taking Asha in Monday morning. If all is well we'll book her in. There's currently a 2-3 week waiting list for non essential (ie injury/illness) operations. I'm hoping to get Asha bumped up the list a bit - I'd rather not wait the best part of a month if it can be avoided. They're pretty accommodating though, so I'll just have to keep my fingers crossed :cross: In the meantime, there are still no signs of heat. I'm watching her like a hawk just in case. Will update after the vet appointment.
 

feralvr

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Aw - poor Leah - she sounds like such a good, good dog though. Very wise and cautious around cats. Better for the cats, especially the newbies. I bet in time, Asha and Leah may come to an understanding and trust will build between them. :vibes::vibes::vibes::vibes: for a good report from the vet on Monday!!!!! Do keep us posted! Things surely are going so well and I am certain that they will continue. :cross: :wavey:
 

fhicat

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 Leah (the labrador) is definitely scared of Asha now - she just has to see Asha in a room and she'll turn tail and go elsewhere! I find it funny, but feel sorry for her too. 
Dogs are kinda like that, I'm not surprised.
 Many videos abound of dogs getting bullied by cats. They probably think, "Alpha dog Mom accepts this strange smelling creature in the pack, so I must obey her as I obey Mom."
 
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Columbine

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Shadow is starting to show a little anxiety about using his litter box. (I do mean a little...just pausing to check the coast is clear sometimes, and yesterday he wanted Asha's door shut before he'd go).

He's still coming upstairs a little at other times..came into my bedroom yesterday when Asha was on the windowsill - no hissing on either side; just big eyes from Asha staring at him and he went out again. Sadly, I had my back to the door and didn't realise he'd come in until he was leaving, so I've no idea if he felt 'pushed out' by Asha.

What I want to do is set up a third box, probably downstairs, maybe temporarily remove the cover from the main box upstairs (though not sure about that as he's had it covered all his life and glares if the cover is mistakenly removed when he's in there), and get Feliway diffusers throughout, with priority being given to the power point opposite the main box.

I have some problems. As I've probably said, I live at home due to multiple health problems. My mother absolutely refuses to countenance a third box or removing the cover from the old box. After a big argument, she has consented to one diffuser opposite the covered box.

I'm not sure what to do. It's possible I'm overreacting to the situation - I didn't see the occasion when Shad wanted the door shutting. Mum told me about it. It's so hard to know what's going on. There has been zero growling and hissing from Asha to Shad since the day after the litter box 'stand off' I posted about before...There was basically a more subdued replay the following day, but no issues since.

Am I getting overprotective? Shad had one instance of struvite crystals about years ago (we caught it late, and he was close to bladder rupture when we got him to the vet), but he's
been absolutely fine since. I'm concerned about the risk of a flare up in a a much older cat, and would feel dreadful if something were to happen.

Sorry...I'm rambling. I feel stuck. It's my parents' house. I don't feel I can force mum to accept additional litter boxes , or force her to accept the cover being removed from Shadow's old box (and yes, I've made it clear that I'd take full responsibility for maintaining any extras, and I've also made it clear about the potential risks to Shadow's health if matters were to escalate). I feel both helpless and like an idiot - I know exactly what steps need to be taken but am unable to carry them out. It's not that mum doesn't care about the cats -quite the reverse - but she's overstressed and set in her ways. :help:

Other than that, everything's going really well. I just don't want things to go downhill. :sigh:
 

fhicat

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Hm, tough one. My first thought is to trust your instincts. If you feel something isn't right, chances are it may be symptomatic of a real issue.

That said, your hands are sort of tied. This is still the crucial moment in the introduction -- they aren't hatin' on each other anymore, but it's still a fragile phase where an oopsie would have an amplified effect on the dynamics of the furry residents.

Shadow has shown a preference for covered boxes, so I'd leave the cover on. I think for now if I were you, I'd start keeping a brief journal about his litterbox usage, his reactions immediately before and after, and Asha's too in that same period of time. I'm not sure how long you are at home, but at this point I'm more inclined to say start gathering observations and see what they say about your instincts. I don't have a better suggestion though. 
 
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Columbine

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Thank you. That helps a lot. I'm home pretty much all the time at the moment (same reasons that I'm living at home :rolleyes: ). I think I'll just have to camp out by the box for a bit :lol:
 

feralvr

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You are like a mediator between your kitties and your mum, trying your very, very best to make things work on both ends. I commend you HIGHLY for how you are managing this. I think your doing a fabulous job of it actually. What about this? Would your mum be open to adding another box next to the covered box? Side by side? I have always had two boxes side by side in varying places in my house. But, always two fairly close to each other. I have seen my cat(s) pee in one and then go right next door to poop in the other. I have always done my box set up this way and KNOCK WOOD :paranoid:, have never really had litter box mishaps..... unless it was a urinary health issue. It works really, really well for us anyway. That way, you are adding more boxes BUT keeping them close so your mum may be more accepting of this rather than adding another box in a completely different location. This give Shadow AND Asha two choices of a box to use. Keep the cover on Shadow's box but add an open style box - large - next to it. Hopefully your mum will agree and be willing to give this a go. :cross:

Hang in there and I think you are really managing this living situation quite well and with respect and grace !!! Your mum is lucky to have that in you. :bigthumb: Keeping the peace goes a long, VERY long way to making a happy home AND usually getting what you want by being gentle, kind and making compromises. :clap: :clap:
 
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Columbine

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Thank you so much for your ongoing support. I think the box problem stems from mum having a major aversion to litter boxes, and especially open ones. I'm sure it's largely due to the way we've always kept cats until these last few (Cali (rip :rbheart: ) and Shadow, now 13). In uk it's standard for all cats to be indoor/outdoor...to the extent that the vast majority of shelters will not adopt out to someone who refuses outdoor access! So, whilst we've always had one box somewhere, it's never had the same kind of use as it has in the last 13 years (yes, I know it's a long time, but mum is very set in her ways of thinking). The only reason we switched to indoor only is because the road we live on has become increasingly busy and we've seen too many cats die on it to take the risk once we had new kittens that weren't used to a lot of outside access (as opposed to our original gang, most of which moved in off the street and varied from long standing strays to an immature feral). Mum grew up with lots of cats, and her approach is very much shaped by her mother's. (I will say,the whole of my mother's side of thefamily are wonderful with cats - they're just a little more old fashioned in approach).

Sorry...getting off topic. I'd love to do the 2 boxes together idea (especially as I hate our current litter and, once things are fully settled, would like to see if I can find a better one). I'm doubtful that mum will agree to it unless things escalate...she hates any open box, no matter how clean it's kept. Even two covered boxes side by side are problematic, as you may be able to see (and no, there's no other place for that bookcase)

I've got Feliway plugged on opposite that box now...really hoping that will be enough :cross: I'm trying to catch the problem before it becomes one, if that makes sense.

NB: I know that that box location goes against all recommendations about good box placement, but it's been there all of Shadow's life and he's never had a problem with it - and nor did his brother. Any time I suggest any change to anything to do with Shad Mum's response is 'He's too old to change'.

Sorry this is such a long post.
 

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If Shadow is the least bit reluctant to use the box around Asha, he could develop litterbox issues, I hate to say, and urinary problems as well. If I were you I would try to continue the discussion with your mother regarding getting another box for Shadow to have in his downstairs domain so that he doesn't feel hesitant about Asha crowding him. It really does sound like some guarding of resources is going on with her, and who could blame her with where she came from. But I would be worried if I were you and keep trying to find a solutation.
 
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