Having severe cat trouble....about to give up and shelter him. Please help.

Hello everyone. I need help understanding an extremely anxious and stressed out cat. 

September of last year my boyfriend and I adopted two Siamese brothers, a seal point named Cosmo and a lynx point named Nova. Both neutered. When we first got them, they both were pretty shy and didn't really socialize much. Cosmo eventually came around, and as of today, he is adorable and loving and the perfect lap cat. He loves attention. His brother, Nova, ever since we got him, has not changed. Well, he has changed, but it's continually getting WORSE. We've treated them both equally, given them love and attention when it feels appropriate, and when we noticed Nova not responding well to anything we just gave him space. Let him come around when he felt like it. He never did, he stays huddled in a corner ALL day, literally, he will stay in one spot the entire day - to the point where he poops and pees in that spot and will LAY IN IT just to avoid moving. If you go near him he puts his ears back and when he walks he stays as low to the ground as he can get. We've never done anything to harm or intentionally startle this cat or make him fearful. Ever since we got him, any little noise or movement would send him into an anxiety tailspin. He has been constantly in a state of extreme stress no matter what - since we got him. 

Anyways, as of the last ~2-3 months, Nova has begun releasing his anal glands as a result of his extreme stress and fearfulness. Whenever he's scared, he sprays his anal glands. It smells TERRIBLE. I don't know why he does this. Vet says his anal glands are fine, just does it when he's scared....but he's always scared. As of the last month and a half-ish, he's begun anxiety peeing in addition to his anal gland spraying also. If you go near him, he pees. If you touch him, he pees. If you pick him up, he will pee all over everything. Loud noise? Pee. Even when we leave him alone the entire day, we find that anywhere he sat stationary for that day, there is a puddle of pee there. He uses his litterbox occasionally, he used to be really good about it. He poops in the litterbox almost all the time - twice now he has pooped in whatever spot he decided to sit in for the day and then laid in it the entire day. This anal gland thing + peeing happens every one to two days. I can't keep doing this at this point. My house smells.

Another issue is his tense and stressed out behavior has begun to imprint on his brother. If Cosmo is in the room while Nova is stressed out, Cosmo immediately becomes stressed out and will run and hide, and put his ears back. We did a test and separated them for 4 hours after noticing Cosmo was beginning to act a lot like Nova and we couldn't pin why. About 15 minutes after separation, Cosmo actually improved. He was more loving and affectionate than we had ever seen him. This is one of our biggest reasons we will be sheltering Nova if we can't help his anxiety. We hate that it's affecting his brother to such an extent.

We took him to the vet last Monday, everything was fine with him. He's a healthy cat. We got him on kitty Xanax to try and help with the anxiety and stress. The first two days were AWESOME. He was an entirely different cat. He was social, didn't pee or release his anal glands anywhere, he meowed and had his tail and ears up and was walking around. As soon as the pills wear off, he's back to a corner looking stressed out. Third day being medicated and the pill doesn't barely affect him. Fourth day, no affect. The only thing it did was sedate him and he slept from the time we gave him the pill to the next morning around 10am. 

We have tried everything. We tried diffusers. We tried calming sprays. They HATE the smell of Feliway for some reason. We tried anti anxiety treats and water drops. We tried giving him affection. We tried ignoring him completely. We've tried coaxing him with treats. Literally everything you can think of, we have tried it. At this point, my boyfriend is suggesting locking him in the bathroom for a week and going to see him every 4 hours, to give him treats and kind words and pets and love.... to maybe see if he'll come around if he doesn't have constant access to us (I've read that ignoring problematic cats can make them come around), but I can't bring myself to keep him in a bathroom for that long. It makes me physically ill. At the same time, I can't keep letting him pee and release his anal glands all over everything. I just can't. I can't keep letting him imprint on his brother, either. It makes them both miserable. 

I don't know what to do. I'm stressed out about this beyond belief. The vet is calling us back on Thursday to see if we can put him on a different type of medication. She really wants to do blood work, but that's $180 on top of a $50 vet visit. Between all the cleaning supplies we've had to buy, different anti-anxiety methods, and whatever else we've tried to help this cat, it's getting REALLY expensive. And he doesn't seem to want to put an effort into warming up to us, either. The only reason we haven't sheltered him yet is because we know he'll either be deemed unadoptable, get adopted by someone else who won't be able to handle his problems and eventually give him up to a kill-shelter, or he'll live the rest of his life in a cage. I really, really want to fix this cat. I love him. But I don't know what to do.

Please, I need help with this cat. ):

A little extra info - he is healthy. He eats and drinks as long as he's alone. He's not aggressive at all, never has been. Just really, extremely anxious/tense/stressed all the time.

Well, medication can take up to a month (not including adjustments) to see results.  3 days is not long enough to know.  Have you asked your vet about a behavior specialist?  Vets are not behavior specialist.  I'm inclined to think he may have been abused or he has some disorders that have gone undiagnosed.  A behavior specialist will not be an immediate fix but it will be nice to have some ideas and some medication that might be better suited.  He needs a behavior specialist.  People on this site are not professionals and you've tried everything we could suggest, so your next step is to see a professional in this field in person.

What a terribly sad story this is....

I am glad you got to see how he would be that first 2 days on meds, I would think he needs a different medication, but I'm not sure.

It might be just like people and the antidepressants, which take weeks or even months to know their full effect.

I can't help but think that since this seems to be quite a unique situation, that Jackson Galaxy would be very interested in knowing about it.

He loves a challenge.

I feel for you, I can see the way you feel about him, and yes, if he goes to the shelter, it's the beginning of the end for him. Ugh.

I feel very sad for the cat too. If you think about it, cats are super picky about hygiene, so for him to lay in his own pee and poop is just terribly sad, he needs your help.

If one way to get you to hold off on shipping him off is to contain him, then please do so until this is worked out.

There has GOT to be a solution, and I do think he does need meds, and the right ones too. 

While the vet is not a behaviorist, he/she knows pet drugs best.

Some vets have alot more experience than others in dealing with emotional issues though, so if you don't feel satisfied with your vets solutions, try another. It's so worth it!

Poor boy   

Welcome to TCS   

I'm sorry you're here under such stressful circumstances. Do you have any background information about the cats? I too wonder if he perhaps was abused in the past. It could give us an indication of whether you're dealing with a behavioral problem or possibly a neurological one. There is definitely a grey area between behavioral and neurological and some techniques could be applied to both, but there are also differences.

You mentioned "kitty Xanax". Is it actually Xanax (alprazolam)?

Xanax is actually a benzodiazepine, so unlike what @P3 and The King  said, it has a short-term effect rather than a long-term one. I am not a vet or a doctor, but what you're seeing could make sense. It is possible that other kinds of psychiatric medication may help (SSRI's with long-term effects). I think working with your vet on the medication could be a good idea. Vet care can get expensive but it's part of the costs of caring for cats, alas.

We do have a few articles about stress management in cats (listed below). I definitely do not think you've exhausted everything yet, but I do agree this is a severe enough case to possibly involve a professional. I must say that I think spending the money on further consultations with your vet may be better at this point. It does sound like this goes beyond behavioral issues to me.

How to Tell if Your Cat is Stressed Out

Six Surefire Strategies to Reduce Stress in Cats

Potential Stressors in Cats - The Ultimate Checklist

P3 and The King said:

 
Well, medication can take up to a month (not including adjustments) to see results.  3 days is not long enough to know.  Have you asked your vet about a behavior specialist?  Vets are not behavior specialist.  I'm inclined to think he may have been abused or he has some disorders that have gone undiagnosed.  A behavior specialist will not be an immediate fix but it will be nice to have some ideas and some medication that might be better suited.  He needs a behavior specialist.  People on this site are not professionals and you've tried everything we could suggest, so your next step is to see a professional in this field in person.

Click to expand...

The vet said if the medication was successful, his symptoms should either have cleared up or gotten significantly better within a week. We haven't looked into a behavior specialist, but I looked one up in the area after reading your post and he has amazing reviews for all types of cat problems. I think we're going to give him a call/email today and get a price check. Thanks for the advice.

catwoman707 said:

 
What a terribly sad story this is....

I am glad you got to see how he would be that first 2 days on meds, I would think he needs a different medication, but I'm not sure.

It might be just like people and the antidepressants, which take weeks or even months to know their full effect.

I can't help but think that since this seems to be quite a unique situation, that Jackson Galaxy would be very interested in knowing about it.

He loves a challenge.

I feel for you, I can see the way you feel about him, and yes, if he goes to the shelter, it's the beginning of the end for him. Ugh.

I feel very sad for the cat too. If you think about it, cats are super picky about hygiene, so for him to lay in his own pee and poop is just terribly sad, he needs your help.

If one way to get you to hold off on shipping him off is to contain him, then please do so until this is worked out.

There has GOT to be a solution, and I do think he does need meds, and the right ones too. 

While the vet is not a behaviorist, he/she knows pet drugs best.

Some vets have alot more experience than others in dealing with emotional issues though, so if you don't feel satisfied with your vets solutions, try another. It's so worth it!

Poor boy   

Click to expand...

We actually just looked into a cat behavior specialist who seems a lot like Jackson Galaxy (although I doubt there's anyone that tops him, haha). We're going to shoot him a call and see if he can do a house visit for Nova. 

Yeah, we're trying our hardest to not have to resort to sheltering him. We've been saying we need to get rid of him for months now, but neither of us have the heart to do it. ): I know there's a good, loving cat under there, but something in his past must have really messed him up. 

We're supposed to be getting a call from the vet tomorrow, hopefully she can prescribe a more long-term medication for him. If not, we'll try a behavior specialist. 

Anne said:

 
Welcome to TCS 

 

I'm sorry you're here under such stressful circumstances. Do you have any background information about the cats? I too wonder if he perhaps was abused in the past. It could give us an indication of whether you're dealing with a behavioral problem or possibly a neurological one. There is definitely a grey area between behavioral and neurological and some techniques could be applied to both, but there are also differences.

You mentioned "kitty Xanax". Is it actually Xanax (alprazolam)?

Xanax is actually a benzodiazepine, so unlike what @P3 and The King  said, it has a short-term effect rather than a long-term one. I am not a vet or a doctor, but what you're seeing could make sense. It is possible that other kinds of psychiatric medication may help (SSRI's with long-term effects). I think working with your vet on the medication could be a good idea. Vet care can get expensive but it's part of the costs of caring for cats, alas.

We do have a few articles about stress management in cats (listed below). I definitely do not think you've exhausted everything yet, but I do agree this is a severe enough case to possibly involve a professional. I must say that I think spending the money on further consultations with your vet may be better at this point. It does sound like this goes beyond behavioral issues to me.

How to Tell if Your Cat is Stressed Out

Six Surefire Strategies to Reduce Stress in Cats

Potential Stressors in Cats - The Ultimate Checklist

Click to expand...

Thanks for the welcome. As far as I know, they were strays before being put in a foster home at around 4-5weeks. We adopted them at 8 weeks. We know they both were weaned prematurely due to excessive "wool sucking" and grooming. They did live with two dogs while being sheltered, and the foster parent did mention them having bad run-ins with them, but they both ultimately kept distance from one another. 

The medication we have is alprazolam. The vet said if the meds were successful, his symptoms would be better or cleared up within a week. Hopefully she can prescribe a more long-term medication. 

Thanks for the info + articles, we're definitely looking into a behaviorist asap. 

cattrouble said:

 

Anne said:

 
Welcome to TCS 

 

I'm sorry you're here under such stressful circumstances. Do you have any background information about the cats? I too wonder if he perhaps was abused in the past. It could give us an indication of whether you're dealing with a behavioral problem or possibly a neurological one. There is definitely a grey area between behavioral and neurological and some techniques could be applied to both, but there are also differences.

You mentioned "kitty Xanax". Is it actually Xanax (alprazolam)?

Xanax is actually a benzodiazepine, so unlike what @P3 and The King  said, it has a short-term effect rather than a long-term one. I am not a vet or a doctor, but what you're seeing could make sense. It is possible that other kinds of psychiatric medication may help (SSRI's with long-term effects). I think working with your vet on the medication could be a good idea. Vet care can get expensive but it's part of the costs of caring for cats, alas.

We do have a few articles about stress management in cats (listed below). I definitely do not think you've exhausted everything yet, but I do agree this is a severe enough case to possibly involve a professional. I must say that I think spending the money on further consultations with your vet may be better at this point. It does sound like this goes beyond behavioral issues to me.

How to Tell if Your Cat is Stressed Out

Six Surefire Strategies to Reduce Stress in Cats

Potential Stressors in Cats - The Ultimate Checklist

Click to expand...

Thanks for the welcome. As far as I know, they were strays before being put in a foster home at around 4-5weeks. We adopted them at 8 weeks. We know they both were weaned prematurely due to excessive "wool sucking" and grooming. They did live with two dogs while being sheltered, and the foster parent did mention them having bad run-ins with them, but they both ultimately kept distance from one another. 

The medication we have is alprazolam. The vet said if the meds were successful, his symptoms would be better or cleared up within a week. Hopefully she can prescribe a more long-term medication. 

Thanks for the info + articles, we're definitely looking into a behaviorist asap. 

Click to expand...

Poor babies. If they were apart from their Mom at the age of 4-5 weeks, then they definitely were weaned too early. The wool sucking could be related to them being Siamese. There is a known genetic link:

http://www.thecatsite.com/a/wool-sucking-cats

Do let us know how you and they are doing. Sending you some TCS vibes for poor Nova 

cattrouble said:

 
Thanks for the welcome. As far as I know, they were strays before being put in a foster home at around 4-5weeks. We adopted them at 8 weeks. We know they both were weaned prematurely due to excessive "wool sucking" and grooming. They did live with two dogs while being sheltered, and the foster parent did mention them having bad run-ins with them, but they both ultimately kept distance from one another. 

The medication we have is alprazolam. The vet said if the meds were successful, his symptoms would be better or cleared up within a week. Hopefully she can prescribe a more long-term medication. 

Thanks for the info + articles, we're definitely looking into a behaviorist asap. 

Click to expand...

So in my opinion, his behavior is unlikely anything caused by abuse, but more of a mental/emotional stability thing, may have been born with, hard to know but it doesn't sound to me as an acquired problem, but one that has surfaced as he has grown/matured.

If they went into foster at 4-5 weeks they would have been socialized extremely easy at that young age, but apparently had minimal exposure/handling, so at 8 weeks came to you as shy kitties.

Not a big issue though, but both should have come around as his brother has, possibly fearful of newcomers but well adjusted with the 2 of you long before now.

So with increased anxiety/stress to the point he is now, def. sounds like maybe mental/neurological issue here with him.

But once the correct med is found for him, regardless if it will need to be lifelong to keep him stable, he is very capable of living and acting normal for his life.

SO happy to know you are persuing help for him!!  Please keep us updated!

We called a very well-reviewed behaviorist this afternoon and set up an in-home appointment next Saturday for him to come check out Nova. Hopefully this works, it's so sad to see him like this all the time, and it's definitely stressing his brother out. Until then, we're keeping him medicated at night (he seems to get overly stressed when the sun goes down), keeping our distance when he appears too stressed, and rewarding him with praise and treats when he gets comfortable. 

Thanks for all the advice, everyone. 

Good luck with the behavioralist!!

Are his eyes ok? Just wondering. My cat is part Siamese as well, and is afraid of the dark at times. I sometimes wonder if he could be nearsighted or has eye damage from the worms he acquired as a feral kitten.

Great to hear!

I am so interested in what she has to say so please be sure to update and let us know

*sigh* we just had a really bad incident with him. We've left him alone all night, he came downstairs while we were making dinner and everything was fine. He sat in a corner of the kitchen and just chilled. We went upstairs to eat, and we suddenly started hearing a bunch of loud noises from downstairs. Went down there as calm as I could and brought him upstairs to his cat tree because he was trying to get into the cupboard he really likes to pee in. Turns out, he peed under the kitchen table. After cleaning up the mess downstairs, my boyfriend peeked in to check on him in his cat tree and smelled more pee. He peed again, all over the cat tree + the carpet. Like, projectile peed EVERYWHERE. 

I don't understand why he's doing this. He uses the litterbox occasionally. It gets cleaned EVERY day. For some reason, it's like he refuses to move around the house if we're here, to the point where he won't even walk past us to use his litterbox. We have another one downstairs that he can use, but he never does. He just flat out refuses to move if we're home. 

This is three days in a row now he's peed + expressed his anal glands, and we haven't been able to go a single week without him doing either of those for MONTHS. As much as I hate it, I have to lock him in the bathroom until we get more help. He pees on something new EVERY day. It's getting worse.

You have my sympathy. It's clear you are at your wit's end. It seems you both have been more patient and caring than others might be, have tried a variety of options and nothing seems to be helping.

Your poor cat has my sympathy too. He's clearly descending into a maelstrom of symptoms.

Hang in there until the weekend. Just a few days and the cat  behaviorist will be there on Saturday. Two more days. Remember that they're not a fairy godmother, no magic wand that will instantly fix things. But explanations and suggestions and a helpful path to follow will be wonderful all around.

It's possible that a different psychopharmaceutical might work better - for the cat. Though I think I would be on Xanax by now.

Everyone here is rooting for the four of you - human and cats alike. We'll all be here on Saturday looking for an update.

Yes, I think it's time to contain him, if not for saving the carpets and furniture, for your sanity and peace of mind.

I would NOT be doing so hot either given your situation.

A bathroom works fine, but if there is any alternative such as a cage, where he is not isolated away from everyone but contained and still able to be around, that's a good thing too.

IF it's even possible, otherwise yes, it's high time.

SO glad it's just a few days away..........

I just really don't understand why this is happening to him. We've done nothing but give him love and affection - along with his brother - since we got them. He just progressively gets worse and worse no matter what.

The cat behaviorist isn't coming this Saturday, though, they're coming on the 24th. The vet should be giving us a call tomorrow to discuss a new medication. It kills me that he has to stay locked in the bathroom, but at this point I don't even think it matters. He stays in one place all day anyways. At least now his accidents will be confined to hard flooring.

I feel so bad that he's miserable all the time, but at the same time I know he has a better home here than he would anywhere else. This is such a struggle. I've never in my life met a cat so difficult, haha.

Thanks for all the advice and kind words, everyone. I'll be sure to keep an update on him. 

Don't beat yourself up. Being sequestered in the bathroom is not terrible. He may even relax a bit in there. And you know that one drug worked, even if only temporarily for a couple of days. So there is a glimmer of light.

cattrouble said:

 
I just really don't understand why this is happening to him. We've done nothing but give him love and affection - along with his brother - since we got them. He just progressively gets worse and worse no matter what.

The cat behaviorist isn't coming this Saturday, though, they're coming on the 24th. The vet should be giving us a call tomorrow to discuss a new medication. It kills me that he has to stay locked in the bathroom, but at this point I don't even think it matters. He stays in one place all day anyways. At least now his accidents will be confined to hard flooring.

I feel so bad that he's miserable all the time, but at the same time I know he has a better home here than he would anywhere else. This is such a struggle. I've never in my life met a cat so difficult, haha.

Thanks for all the advice and kind words, everyone. I'll be sure to keep an update on him. 

Click to expand...

I know it's impossible to understand, and it makes absolutely no sense, which is why I can't help but think it's something wrong with him, neurologically or emotionally type thing.

As he is maturing it has become so much worse, it is an area I basically have no experience in personally.

Like I said before, I am so glad that at least you saw for 2 days he can and will be a wonderful boy, he just needs the right meds it seems.

There are plenty of cats who live life perfectly fine who are on daily meds for life. I've just never had one myself.

Gosh, I can't help but feel awfully sad for him!! It's not his fault, I know you know this, and can totally sympathize with you, I would seriously be full of anxiety and frustration with the peeing like that.

We can ALL relate to this really, not an easy situation at all, but there is definitely hope!

Wouldn't it be nice if money was no object? I'd be thinking an MRI scan, testing hormone levels, the works, just to find out how he ticks and if there is something identifiable to be seen.

catwoman707 said:

 
I know it's impossible to understand, and it makes absolutely no sense, which is why I can't help but think it's something wrong with him, neurologically or emotionally type thing.

As he is maturing it has become so much worse, it is an area I basically have no experience in personally.

Like I said before, I am so glad that at least you saw for 2 days he can and will be a wonderful boy, he just needs the right meds it seems.

There are plenty of cats who live life perfectly fine who are on daily meds for life. I've just never had one myself.

Gosh, I can't help but feel awfully sad for him!! It's not his fault, I know you know this, and can totally sympathize with you, I would seriously be full of anxiety and frustration with the peeing like that.

We can ALL relate to this really, not an easy situation at all, but there is definitely hope!

Wouldn't it be nice if money was no object? I'd be thinking an MRI scan, testing hormone levels, the works, just to find out how he ticks and if there is something identifiable to be seen.

Click to expand...

Those two days were SO awesome, I can't even explain. It was an like an entirely different cat, I swear. I know somewhere deep inside he's capable of being like that again, we just need to help him realize he's in a safe and loving environment. 

And yeah, it would be great if money weren't an issue, haha. It would make this all a lot easier, I would assume. 

Oh, and for anyone wondering, this is Nova & Cosmo in a rare state of being cute together. (Don't mind the nasty chair - we usually have a soft blanket covering the gross/worn out part.)

Nova is the one on the left, and Cosmo is on the right.