A Man's View of Relationships

Okay..I've got my protective gear on,my life insurance is up to date,emergency services on standby and my fragile ego is in a safety deposit box...here we go.

I read many posts here detailing the woes of your relationships with your menfolks. Frankly I think it's a little one-sided here. Geez Louise ladies...you all seem to be married/living with/dating the same insensitive,knuckle dragging,cat hating cave man. WAAAAAAAHHH!!!!

Now understand here...I'm not trying to make light of the real problems any of you are having. I don't know each individual's circumstances or background so don't think I'm aiming at anyone in particular.

Firstly,I see so often a young lady take up with a very obvious loser;the boozing,womanizing,greasy punk type. They all get starry-eyed over these morons and have big plans to CHANGE him. DOES NOT HAPPEN,EVER!!!!! A punk will be a punk until the day he dies. So if this is your problem..grow up. Get the heck out of there and don't look back.

That being said,there are a lot of nice guys out here; but we have problems too. Guys are taught from birth that we are supposed to be the caretaker,the strong one who shoulders all the burden...father,husband,brother,protector and the magician who has the answer to all problems. We are supposed to be a crying towel but never shed a tear ourselves. You females all wail that you want sensitive guys..ha!!! Let a man show his pain and the whispers start..What a wuss,He must be gay....

"My man doesn't like my cats","my man resents my computer"....well maybe,just maybe he has cause to feel that you care more about them than you do about him?? We need a sympathetic ear sometimes too. Sometimes after facing a world all day where he is a meaningless cipher he just needs that hug and a feeling that he is more to you than a damn wallet. It takes two to make a relationship and they both have to be grown-ups. Sex only means "I'm horny at this particular moment". Love is much more than that. Love can exist without sex and last for years. Sex is just better when love is there too.

So get off your crying towel and have a serious talk with your partner about what you BOTH want from a marriage/relationship. If you can BOTH fit your dreams together..fine. If not..part company and move on. And if either or both of you can't get past the "I WANT" stage get out and do not enter another relationship until you have become an emotional adult.

There...now swing away folks!!!!! :foot:

That is a good insightful post. I am lucky that the second time around, I married my best friend. The first time I married for chemistry reasons alone and though we were in lust, we were never in love. he had his bad points, as did I and we lasted 10 years before we realized that it was a major mistake to have hooked up together.

When I first met Mike it was through letters, then we started sending cassette tapes back and forth (yep it was that long ago! LOL) Then came the phone calls, the meeting finally happened after 4 years of letter writing and so forth. Through that time period we developed a friendship unlike any I have ever experienced in my life. He is my best friend and we have a lot of fun together. He is much more than a pay check to me, and I am more than just his chief cook and bottle washer. It took years to get to the point in my life of me being able to live with and like myself before going on and adding another partner to the mix.

Honestly, I see a lot of good points in your post. There are a LOT of women out there who seem to go for the "bad boy" type. They get hurt %90 of the time. I never could fathom why a woman would stay with a man like that. Then again.. I was with a man like that for a year before I finally realized that I deserved better and being in a relationship like that was unhealthy for me.

Almost 2 years later... I met my current boyfriend. We actually met over the internet. Started talking... got to know eachother. Started having phone calls.. and eventually decided that we enjoyed each other a lot and decided to try a long distance relationship. (THANK GOD WE DID!)

For a year we did the phone calls, email, whatever form of possible communication. Boy, was it hard not having him around to hold me everyday... but you know.. we got to know eachother so well and I wouldn't change any of it. We met after 9 months.. he flew out to see me... it was wonderful. 3 months later.. I moved out here to live with him.

It's wonderful.. he treats me really well and makes me laugh like no other person. Yeah, we have our "little petty arguements" but they've never been anything serious and most of them turn into something playful rather than either of us hurting one anothers feelings.

We have our differences... but if we were too much alike our relationship would be boring.


-Cass

You'll get no argument from me.

I really enjoyed your post, and saw a lot of truth in it, and much of my past self.

I was the girl you described, hooking up with losers with the intention of reforming them. Yeah, right!

I found a wonderful man, at 40 I think it's about time, and we seem to be going somewhere...if not, that's ok too because it's terrific right now.

Gotta get my procrastinating, catsite addicted butt to PetSmart now, so will add to this later.

Again, I thought this post was very accurate.

Cleo

I can't disagree with any of that. It sounds like plain, old fashioned commen sense to me.

Well, Kittyfoot, I was all prepared to come out swinging, but you had to go and write a sensible thread.

Why couldn't you just say what's really on all of you men's minds?

1. Implants or not, that's what you're lookin' at.
2. Howard Stern is the luckiest guy on Earth.
3. Honey, I can't hold a conversation with you, because my beer's getting warm.



(Boy, I really wanted to come out swinging, too. What a rip off).

-->Deb slinks out of thread.

Well Kittyfoot, you will also get no argument from me. I was married for 4 years and have been divorced for 24. I've had my share of relationships and all of them failed. Why? Because I tried too hard. Or at least that's what my father told me from a man's point of view. I gave too much to soon. I once settled for Mr. Right. I'm now holding out for Mr. Filthy Stinking Rich (just kidding).

I wish I could find someone. Being alone for 24 years has it's good and bad times. And you are absolutely 100% right when you say you'll never change a man. My mother always told me that don't marry a man to change him cuz it ain't gonna happen. Too bad I didn't listen to my mama.

By the way, are you seeing anyone at this moment??? Married? Care to start an internet relationship? You seem to make alot of sense and I like that in a man . I also like a man who isn't too proud to show his emotions or his pain. It shows his sensitive side.

So, if you wouldn't mind a pre-owned 48 year old staff writer with 7 cats, please feel free to PM me anytime. I'd love to hear from you. I'd love to know what you're all about and your interests.

You can take the riot gear off now. So far there's been no swinging here.



Donna

I'll swing.. heh.... but then ya'll knew I would huh?

After the first go round with marriage, I actually learned something, yes, I know ladies... we actually can do that occasionally, we can't pell reallly well, but that's for another story..

Anyway, I actually care about the cats as much as sandie does, although I dont act like for the afore mentioned reason and a;;,
I built Sandie her own puter so she would stop nagging me about how much time spent on it, when actually it was just my perception of her, so know I find myself occasionally saying something like, dang hon' you gonna be on there allllll night, then quickly turn to see where the words came from.

I originally started going to cat shows cuz I wanted to spend time with my girls, having spent most of our first 6 years of marriage apart, welp sir.... then I realized how comptetive it is.... heh, count me in.. shhhhhh don't tell sandie though... K?

Oh and yeah I spent ALOT of time not wanting to be wussie, and never went to doctors, cuz hey, ima guy... we dont need no stinkin doctors!!

Which I now am paying dearly for.

see, there are decent, notice I didn't say good/great/stupendous ones out here... trust I can be a great big

But what I really wanted to say is..

Yes deb

1. Implants or not, that's what we're lookin' at.
2. Howard Stern is the luckiest guy on Earth.
3. Honey, I can't hold a conversation with you, not cuz my beer's getting warm, cuz I really haven't got a clue what you're saying
and
4. Even though no one will EVER prove I said this...

we might talk smack about how we're the boss of the house with our friends, we really do know it's you, cuz hey, getting cut off and sleeping in the bath tub just plain sux.


Ken

The above material was meant for entertainment purposes only! No attempot was made at bodily or mental cruelty and if any is/was discovered please inform the management and the offending prose will be permanently and unrecoverably stricken from the record.

Ken:

Disclaimers in small, hard to read print don't get you off the hook from being swung at. And talking about running smack proves that you're a Jim Rome devotee.

Kittyfoot:

Are you also Mr. Filthy-Stinking Rich? Just wondering...

Okay..I've got my protective gear on,my life insurance is up to date,emergency services on standby and my fragile ego is in a safety deposit box...here we go.

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See Kittyfoot,

you didn't need all of the above at all. In fact I think it was a wonderful post!!!

&

Meme

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since I have been able to post. Kittyfoot, I can't agree more. MY best lady friend(s) are Helen and Laura. Laura got her perfect guy, my best guy friend. She went thru the loser ones too. Helen has been thru the losers too and is married to a good guy now, but just one thats not right enough for her. She has made mentions many times (since getting married) that she and I would make the perfect couple. Yeah, say it now that your not in a perfect marriage, though its w/ a good guy.

THE 20 BEST THINGS:

1. I change litter boxes.
2. I like to cook.
3. I know how to clean house (and believe it or not, I'm not gay)
4. I love cats
5. Did I mention I loved cats?
6. I love to romance a woman (flowers on the pillow, breakfast in bed, poems just for her, etc)
7. I'm open minded
8. I hate beer
9. I hate all sports, especially football
10. I'm in touch with my feminine side and not afraid to say it, so deal with it! lol.
11. I believe that you have to be best friends with your mate
12. Communication, honesty, consideration, respect and trust are the most important relationship mottos for me.
13. I'm fun and playful, but...
14. I will be your pillar of strength as well
15. I think a woman's satisfaction and pleasure behind closed doors are more important than my own, because in giving it, I garner real satisfaction of my own.
16. I consider a relationship as an equal partnership, where both share equally. No :censor::censor::censor::censor::censor::censor::censor::censor: power plays!
17. I have a good sense of humor and I'm, generally, good natured.
18. I know how to compromise and not be Me! Me! Me! all of the time.
19. I know how to keep you excited about life
20. Did I mention I really loved cats?

Of course, I do have my faults. Noone is perfect. For example:

1. "Chuck, my eyes are up here" "
2. I want sex 24/7
3. I'm an ass and legs man
4. I like Startrek (but I'm not a trekkie, so don't worry too much)
5. You may someday be as important to me as my cats.lol.

I can't wait to see the responses to this.

MeowMan watzes in with all this information! :LOL:

You sound perfect, except I don't like Star Trek, and I do like beer!
Compromise is good though, don't you think?

Just kidding, but I think you sound like a good man, and if you ever do make that West Coast voyage, Have I got a girl for you! Oi! :laughing2

Cleo

I have to admit, I'm a little disappointed. I was all ready for some good debates, and we all agree. Imagine that, men and women agreeing on something. Just kidding, my fiance and I usually agree. He loves cats, which is a definite bonus. We also both enjoy football, Star Trek, and beer. Maybe that's why we get along so well. . .

Chuck;

Liking Star Trek listed as a fault?!? Now maybe we can get the gloves on. I, of course, will stand facing away from you for the advantage of you getting distracted by ass and legs.

In all seriousness, have you seen anything about the new series coming this fall? TV Guide did an interview with Rick Berman. Sounds like it could be interesting. I am always willing to give a Trek show a fair shot. After all, it took a good half a season of groaning before the Next Generation even began to get interesting.

Now back to that list: #8: I hate beer. Translated that means "I drink expensive stuff." And how can we be openminded and hate all sports? I'm also a little iffy on #3: I know how to clean house. Well, Christ, I know how to, as well. My mother was the original clean freak. But is it getting done?

And finally, at least while you are reading this, I know where your eyes are!

Whoa! What a great post!
Honesetly, what valid points you all have made, so, my swinging gloves are back in the gym bag... :laughing: I couldn't care less if a guy like football, but the beer thing, well...I'm not so crazy about drinking or the smell of it...kinda stinks like cigarettes and isn't good for ya either. But that's just my opinion. I just wanted to tell Cassandra_Starr that I was so happy to see that her internet relationship is doing well. I am currently in love with a man I've met on AOL and I couldn't be more happy. I think what happens is that you get to appreciate each other so much on here. You can learn so much about someone through the net. When you finally see them, you've cut out all the bull ya know. Well, he's in Arizona and I'm in Florida. We finally met and I can't wait to be with him again. It's tough! But, there's hope after seeing these postings!

By the way, Ken, that was the funniest posting!!! :laughing: And Chuck,& Kittyfoot well, you're just plain, damn perfect! :laughing::laughing: Lucky women that gets you guys.

Take Care & God Bless,
Love,

Thanks Cat..
Now if I could just figure out who Jim rome is....


Living under a rock

Ken

KittyFoot

:foot: Chuck, and Ken; This post actually made sense; made me laugh, and made me HOPE!!!

But, hey, I had a "Heat Stroke" yesterday and I'm EASY to SWAY. . . . Too bad Mr.Cat is out of town; I'm sure he would want to contribute. . . . .

I actually gave up on trying for a relationship over 25yrs ago after having way too many holes shot thru my heart by way too-o-o-o-o-o many losers. This "Three-legged kat is one tough "P___Y" bat bat bat bat bat bat bat:bat

You guys ain't foolin me....you just want me to take the helmet and pads off.:tounge2:

Sorry girls...I am instructed to tell you I'm off the market. I found a fantastic lady and hope to treat her as she deserves to be treated..like an angel.

Well,the road is calling..see you later. :foot:

He's a sportscaster, Ken, on the radio. I can't believe you didn't know who he was, given that you used his terminology!

Yeah, but... umm errrr.... i think I just inadvertantly added fuel to the fire....

what with not knowing him AND saying the same things....


*ACK*
WHAT HAVE I DONE???????????

Ken