I need help making a decision!

Originally Posted by LDG

Awwwwwww......

I am so sorry to hear about that horrible, horrible experience. I am SO sorry.

Yeah, all our pet kitties are indoor only. It can be really difficult with the ferals. We find ourselves worrying endlessly when they don't show up. Life outside can be really cruel. And it's not considerate to the neighbors or the wildlife... I think there should be leash laws for cats, just like there are for dogs. Well, they have to be properly structured to account for people who care for community ferals. But that's a different issue.

But I have more bad news for you. Declawing is not like removing your fingernails (as if that weren't bad enough IMO). It's like removing your finger at the last joint. It has to do with the way their claws/toes are constructed. It's quite a cruel procedure. In fact, it's illegal in 23 countries, and several US cities. Scratching isn't something cats do to be destructive, it's a natural behavior related to many things... Stretching, grooming, marking... honestly, if you're not prepared to deal with it, it's best not to get a cat. Declawing also can come with other behavior problems, such as biting and litter box avoidance. Cats actually walk on their toes.

Cut off the end of their toes, and it displaced the weight improperly. Many wind up with arthritis when they're older. BTW, TCS is anti-declaw.

There are alternatives, like nail caps. But really, if you're not prepared to deal with a cat and work with kitty to manage their natural behavior as opposed to seeing it as "bad," it's best not to have a kitty become part of the family. I think you two should stick with the plan to get a dog! They're much easier to train to "our" concept of "good" because of that pack-animal nature. And they don't go vertical lol.

But the bottom line is that if your furniture comes first, don't adopt a cat. There are certainly ways to help them "scratch appropriately," and we can help with that. But please think long and hard about whether you really do want to make that life long commitment.

And I know, that's what you were asking! But there's a little more input for your consideration.

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Thank you so much for all the advice....I do really like Lady PurrPurr but am against adopting her. I will let my boyfriend read your post about de-clawing. In the end I think we are more suited to getting a puppy though(when that time comes)


But if we did get her and didn't de-claw and got a scratching post...how could we teach her to use the scratching post and not the furniture? Is there a way????


Because I know my boyfriend will bring up a scratching post!

There are ways to help cats scratch appropriately. It is easier with younger kitties, but it can be done. You would need more than one scratching post - in fact, it's best to offer different styles of scratchers, because you don't know her preferences. There's vertical (a post), horizontal, sloped... and there's different surfaces... sisal, cardboard (almost universally loved by cats, but it sharpens their claws more quickly), carpet (not great, because it's confusing with the carpet on the floor), cork, a dried tree limb or stump (also loved by most cats)... and placement is also very important.

With cats, it just doesn't really help if we put scratchers where we want them LOL. They love to stretch after waking up, so it's important to have them right next to where they love to sleep - and we don't really choose those places.

Cats, unlike dogs, are just not motivated by making us happy. They're loving, social animals, but their motivation is what makes them happy. So, for instance, when we lived in a house, we wanted to stop the cats hopping on the counter. We tried all kinds of things - then finally decided just to put a cat tree in the kitchen. That worked. So when they do something you don't want, you have to find an alternative they like better - or deny access. For instance, garbage diving. The only way to stop this is deny them access to the garbage. (I use this as an example because you're already familiar with it).

So, training a cat not to scratch on furniture is not just about providing alternatives - you may have have to "deny access." Double-sided tape applied to the back, sides, or arms. Or use painter's tape and tape aluminum foil over the parts she's been scratching, that kind of thing.

And of course, keep her claws clipped!

But with cats, you have to expect that there will be some scratch marks here and there.

Do you have anything out on shelves that's breakable? Again, she may not be a shelf hopper, but cats are 3D, and accidents do happen. This can also be addressed by creating vertical space for her. Again - cat trees, cat condos, putting up shelves specifically for her... cats can be really fun to "decorate" for!

You may want to have your BF peruse some threads in the behavior forum. That will definitely help you understand the kinds of things you may encounter and have to deal with having a cat.

Whatever you decide, TCS is here to help.

LDG has given you the BEST advice . All cats can be easily trained to scratch on the tall, sturdy sisal scratching posts. Not the short flimsy ones. It has to be very tall and sturdy. I always use catnip to get them scratching on them. I also trim my cats nails once a week.

Please, please do NOT adopt Lady PurrPurr if your BF is insisting on declawing her. Let her go to another home and leave her be. All organizations usually have you sign an agreement stating that you will not declaw anyway. Declawing is amputation to the first digit on a cat and is very, very cruel and an extremely painful, long healing process and sometimes there are serious complications. It is like amputating all of your fingers to the first knuckle. Declawing can also bring about unwanted behavioral problems in some cats. If she ever did escape outside, she would be unable to defend herself and unable to catch prey to survive.


Lady PurrPurr is a beautiful sweet cat and I am sure she will find a loving home quickly. She really is a sweetheart.

I had my boyfriend read things online about "de-clawing" and he also talked to the vet who is fostering the cats about it and agreed not to get Lady PurrPurr declawed if we get her but her he STILL wants her and frankly it is pissing me off!!!

I like Lady PurrPurr but I don't want a cat.(and you best believe I will be the one actually taking care of her....not him)

My biggest concern is that she is always going to try to escape outside! I have limited experience with cats but I know a cat who has spent as much time outdoors as Lady PurrPurr has will just try to escape.

Obviously she would be fixed before we ever got her back which would stop a repeat kitten situation if she escaped but I wouldn't want her to be hit by a car and I smoke cigarettes (outdoors) and go in and out of the house frequently and it already bothered me how I had to shoo her away with my foot with both entering and exiting the house.

She is going to CONSTANTLY want back outdoors now and if we had her I wouldn't want her outdoors at all!(regardless of being fixed)


The thing is....if we do get Lady PurrPurr we won't be neglectful and she whold never be "abandoned" the way she already has and quite frankly pet owners who don't care for their pets make me f*cking sick!!! But I don't want to have to slowly open the door and lift my foot to block her and say "no!" everytime I enter or exit the house to make her back off and not try to get outside for the next 20 years everytime the door is opened.

Well, at this point, my only advice is to have a chat with him, about being in a committed relationship is about respecting each other and compromises.... and your "combined" dream was to get a dog, not a cat! She happened into your lives, and you guys did great in caring for her... but she drove you nuts. Does he really want you in a constant state of stress? Is it THAT important to him? What's he going to do if she gets sick and pees on the bed? What's he going to do if she accidentally scratches the couch? How's he going to feel if he steps out of bed in the morning and steps on a wet, squishy hairball? Is he going to clean it up? If she accidentally knocks a glass of whatever you're drinking over on your coupons or your computer/laptop keyboard... he'll be fine with that? Do you leave piles of papers or coupons out? If she knocks them over, or decides they're great toys... any problem with that?

But if your ONLY concern is that she's constantly going to try to get out... have you asked the rescuer if she's tried to get out at all? Because clearly she was someone's pet, and now that she feels safe... maybe she's no longer trying to escape?

Well it's official. We are Lady PurrPurrs owners now! ughh.

He called and agreed to adopt her.

I knew he was going to do this behind my back....it's so typical of him deciding on things that affect us both behind without me.

We don't have Lady PurrPurr yet but we will pick her up when Shirley picks up Ebony...sometime before the end of the month...probably the 21st.

I can't say I'm furious because I do like Lady PurrPurr and I am willing to make concessions for her but I am not looking forward to her trying to go outside all the time.

Well the first thing I'd do is start thinking positive! Just throw all your thoughts and vibes into the concept that she LOVES it inside now and has NO INTEREST in going outside whatsoever!

BTW, my husband HATED cats. He loved dogs, he loved animals in general. But not cats. And while even when you love them to bits, they can annoy you... if they annoy you to bits, I suspect you'll find yourself loving her to bits anyway. It's what cats do.

Good thing you found TCS! We can SO help you through everything with her!

Just ask the foster when the last time her claws were clipped. If she's clippping them already, that's a BIG help right from the start.

The way we got our cats used to clipping (and three of them we had to do as adults) was to just start by touching their feet a lot, especially when they're sleeping. But these were also kitties that didn't really know they liked being petted yet. So if Lady PurrPurr likes being petted, you're already a leg up, so to speak. You can just incorporate touching her paws when petting her. But I still recommend doing it when she's asleep, because that's the easiest way to start the clipping. Get them desensitized to having their feet touched. From there, progress to pushing the claw out (just hold the foot and push a toe from on top). When she's desensitized to that, the next step is the first clip. We found it easiest to just use human toenail clippers, good sturdy ones. Have a treat in hand. Push out one claw, and quickly clip the pointy part off (don't clip the quick - make sure it's in good light so you can see well. It does hurt her if you make it bleed). Then give her a treat (or two) and tell her WHAT a good kitty she is! We just did one nail a day, and kept going around in a circle until they really didn't care. Then you can do all of them, once a week. We found we don't need to clip the back claws - they don't get as sharp. But you'll decide what's best.

I'd go buy that covered garbage can! I really recommend the Simple Human step-on open up one. VERY sturdy (ours has lasted... 7 years so far, and doing GREAT) and convenient, even though covered.

Also take a look around, make sure you don't have anything breakable out on shelves that you care about, until you get to know how she moves around your home.

And do make sure to create some vertical space, somehow, somewhere for her. Some cats will sleep on beds on floors, but most prefer to be "up" somewhere. Having access to windows is GREAT for them. There's really easy to install window seats you can buy.

And solid advice for helping her NOT want outside is to keep her stimulated inside. Get some wand toys. Totally recommend Neko Flies toys (several of ours completely bonk out for the Karantula end - it's like a spider and these two LOVE hunting bugs) and da Bird, with different ends - just buy one of each until you know what really gets her going - there's feather ends, a mouse end, and a rabbit tail end. Since you don't know if she's familiar with play, just start slow - don't scare the wits out of her LOL. And make sure to put them away where she CANNOT get at them when you're not around. Cats often eat the string. Too many of us have had to go on "poop watch" to make sure they passed the string - or kitty has wound up in surgery, to untangle it from their intestines.

But cats really do best with interactive play. A few of ours will play with toys themselves... but those that lived outside longer really seem to need the moving target to enjoy the toys.

Another good thing to know - don't leave catnip toys out. If she reacts to catnip (some cats don't), if you leave them out all the time, they can become "immune" to it. So leave it out for a day, then put it away for at least a few days.

And ROTATE toys. Cats get bored. We put them in baggies and sprinkle a little catnip on them, and let them "marinate" - and swap them out weekly.

And get your scratchers! A tall vertical post with a really solid base (maybe a couple), and a flat scratcher (many cats LOVE the turbo scratcher - it's a toy as well, with a ball in a track). Again - go for as many options as you can deal with. Because the more "appropriate" options you have for scratching, the less likely she'll scratch places you don't want her to.

Don't know how far you want to go with this... but you may want to take a look at some cat trees. Some are REALLY cool.

OH - and as to the litter box... just make sure they're someplace you'll be comfortable with, but they're not hard for her to use. A lot of people have them tucked away in closets or the laundry room... and this can work. But sometimes it doesn't, and they're unhappy with the results. Just a thought.

So my black coal-heart is starting to turn red again and I'm warming up to the idea of having Lady PurrPurr now.(especially since my boyfriend agreed that liter box duty is HIS responsibility)

We will either be getting her on the 21st or the 28th. The lady fostering them is having an issue with getting them fixed because where she brings animals she fosters to get fixed(and gets a really good deal because she runs an animal rescue) is booked solid at the moment for appointments and she likes to keep cats for a full week after they have been fixed to insure no problems.

We are only going to have to pay $75 for her and she already got her shots, de-wormed and treated for ear mites and will be spayed soon. The foster lady is only charging us the cost she incurred herself for all that which will allow us to make a good donation to her rescue on top of the $75 for Lady PurrPurr.

Due to her running a rescue and her connections we will be getting a literbox(even though we ended up giving her 2..one of which we got donated to us) a scratching post, a cat bed, a bunch of cat toys, and kitty drugs(catnip ) for free....and maybe a bunch of kitty litter but she isn't sure on that yet.

She is also going to show us how to make our own cat perch/castle like she does herself so we don't waste money on buying one.

All the cats have gained significant weight since being de-wormed but especially Lady PurrPurr who is now no longer skin and bones. She was eating a MASSIVE amount of food while here but only gained a small bit of weight and we didn't know why.(it was the worms)

Apparently Lady PurrPurr is under 1 year old herself according to the vets that treated her!(so young to have kittens herself...that is so effing sad!) So we will be giving her "Purina Kitten Chow" for another 6 months or so or change out food quicker if she is starting to get "fat".

Anyway if my boyfriend was going to decide to adopt her behind my back I wish he would have done it 1 day earlier! Those free purina whisker lickin's cat treats coupons that we got at Target for free for a friend earlier expired the day before he decided to adopt Lady PurrPurr!

I was not originally planning on being a member for this website for long but now I guess I am a permanent member.

I have been following your saga from the beginning- so happy to hear you adopted Lady Purr-purr And a big THANK YOU to you for taking her and her kittens in and doing all that you did.

X-Mas tree questions...

I in person have seen a cat bolt up a "real" Christmas tree and topple it with shattered bulbs and pine needles everywhere!

We get "real" trees every year even though I try my best to explain we should just get a fake one(but he always wants real) but now I think this is my chance! I already brought it up and it is finally sinking in with him!

Is it better to have a "fake tree" when owning a cat?(Please say yes...even if you're lying.... JK)

Just had to post what I just found out on a coupon forum:

you can call Purina once (1-800-7-PURINA) a month and request Tidy Cat coupons. They'll mail you two $2/1 coupons for any size Tidy Cat.

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Walmart sells 10 pound bags of Tidy Cat for under $2 a bag.(our local Walmart sells them for $1.77)

That is fantastic! We will never have to pay for kitty litter ever!

I will be calling Purina every month!

Originally Posted by superpop

Just had to post what I just found out on a coupon forum:



Walmart sells 10 pound bags of Tidy Cat for under $2 a bag.(our local Walmart sells them for $1.77)

That is fantastic! We will never have to pay for kitty litter ever!

I will be calling Purina every month!

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Hmm, I think they might put you on a 'do not answer' list.

Originally Posted by Minka

Hmm, I think they might put you on a 'do not answer' list.

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I know you're probably joking but that won't happen! I am a total coupon ***** and I constantly request coupons from other companies over and over.

BTW....if you don't want to call Purina once a month to request coupons you can still get $1 off one Tidy Cat by just signing up here:

https://www.tidycats.com/Subscribe/E...veLogin.Master

Originally Posted by superpop

I know you're probably joking but that won't happen! I am a total coupon ***** and I constantly request coupons from other companies over and over.

BTW....if you don't want to call Purina once a month to request coupons you can still get $1 off one Tidy Cat by just signing up here:

https://www.tidycats.com/Subscribe/E...veLogin.Master

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I would totally do it except my cat has allergies so I don't want to risk changing anything right now. *pout*

I don't know that fake trees are better than real trees. Whether she'll topple it or not is... something you'll find out. There are people here that have to secure the tree to the ceiling as well as a large, solid base on the floor. Some cats just hang out in the bottom branches - others don't bother the tree at all.

But you would be well advised to not have dangling things at the bottom of the tree!

wow....... I had to read this whole thing.... I am so glad this worked out.

What you need to remember is when all is said and done..... and as time passes and you look back on this experience --- you will feel so good about how you handled this and how you rescued the little mama trying to take care of some babies. She choose you and I am so glad you choose her back...!!!

There are so many people who would NOT have done that. You are an angel. It was rough I know with the neighbors, but you came though!!

You did absolutely the right thing....

She will settle in and be a wonderful cat. And oddly enough, once she gets settled in, you will find cats are much easier to care for than dogs. And one more thing -- if you do get a dog, it awesome that you have the cat first. She needs to be the boss.

Trees ** avoid tinsel. And get a real one and build a strong base. Put nothing breakable on it. You can always put it against a wall and put a small rope around the middle and attach it to the wall. And hide kitty treats on it...... That's what we do..... We put presents in the closet.

Jenn

I can chime in the the tree - look for a base rated for a commercial tree - they're meant to withstand a lot more than regular bases, None of our current guys climb, but one of my childhood cats used to and she'd weighed 19 lbs...and the commercial stand stood up for it. Another thing you can do is attach a small hook in your cieling above the tree and tie the top up there with heavy-duty fishing line, then it's not as obvious. That it's tied up.

The one thing we do have to watch, though, as Laurie said is nothing breakable dangling from the bottom 3 feet of the tree...it's too tempting as a cat toy.

Originally Posted by Ms. Freya

I can chime in the the tree - look for a base rated for a commercial tree - they're meant to withstand a lot more than regular bases, None of our current guys climb, but one of my childhood cats used to and she'd weighed 19 lbs...and the commercial stand stood up for it. Another thing you can do is attach a small hook in your cieling above the tree and tie the top up there with heavy-duty fishing line, then it's not as obvious. That it's tied up.

The one thing we do have to watch, though, as Laurie said is nothing breakable dangling from the bottom 3 feet of the tree...it's too tempting as a cat toy.

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That is probably the route we will go as well as keeping nothing breakable near the bottom. (I still want a "fake" tree though and hoped this would be chance to convince my boyfriend but I'm sure we will end up getting a messy real tree again! )

I thought the Mexican family drama from across the street was done with since all the cats have been gone since 9/12 but today my boyfriend was outside fishing through our recycling bin for a receipt that we had accidentally put in our recycling bin and the little boy from across the street kept screaming "I WANT MY KITTIES" over and over and over again as my boyfriend ignored him.

My boyfriend finally yelled back "Those cats are not here and you already know that!!!!" That shut him up but now I know this is not the end of it and I hope this trash family(sorry but it's the truth...they are TRASH!) does not visit here on Halloween because we are sick and tired of them and don't want to have to deal with them!

My boyfriend and I will be calling the city each and everytime they don't move cars for plowing this winter.(I don't care if they don't have money to pay the tickets....that is not an excuse for not shoveling their driveway and parking on it!)

The entire family is a lazy pile of crap and while I originally felt bad for the unruly kids I don't anymore....they brought this on themselves!!!!!!!!!!!!

Originally Posted by superpop

Shirley still wants and will get the runt Ebony.(who has continued to do much better)

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Great news that mom and babies are doing well in foster care. And congratulations on your new addition, Lady PurrPurr.
It's a wonderful thing that you rescued this feline family and that now they have a chance to get their own forever homes.

I've previously raised concerns, which another member shared, about Shirley adopting the smallest kitten, Ebony. I'm afraid that Ebony is destined to be a very lonely kitten given the fact that Shirley works a full and a part time job.

Ebony will be only a few months old when he's separated from his family. He's used to lots of company, socializing and playing. Now he'll suddenly be alone in an apartment for the majority of the day, most days. A kitten his age needs lots of attention, playtime, and supervision. Please tell me how Shirley will be able to provide these things when she'll be away for so many hours.

Shirley has a good heart to want to give the kitten a home. Some people will say that any home is better than none. But as you've said, there is already interest in the kittens. Because Ebony is young and small, his chances of adoption are good. He needs a family or individual who has lots of time to spend with him.

It would surprise me if the foster mom has not raised these concerns with Shirley since you've said she's very strict about adoptions. No matter how good her intentions, Shirley's lifestyle is unfortunately not suited to caring for a young kitten. Usually I'd suggest that she adopt two kittens so that they could play and keep each other company, but in this situation, where Shirley's out more than she's home, it's still not a good idea. A solitary kitten (or even two) left alone for most of the day is bound to get into trouble, a bad situation for both Shirley and the kitten.

Unless Shirley is willing to hire a catsitter to spend time with Ebony each day, or even to bring him to your house to be with his mom (which I don't think you'd want to do), she should rethink her decision to adopt him. What is good for Ebony should be the primary consideration.