Am I the only one?

I tend to stick at home alone too. Right now there are no kids or cats at home when I'm there alone. My hubby is the same way. I have one really good friend who lives about 50 miles away and she has 2 little kids so we have to plan when we decide to get together. Unfortunately my Mom gets most of my "I'm upset" calls.

I have always had just a few friends. I've never been one to collect a huge group of friends. I usually get along with people I meet, we just don't always become friends. I am pretty private about my life and feelings, and maybe that comes across as snobbishness, although it isn't.

I have also lost several friends, some when I was little and one a few years ago. I am not sure why this happened throughout my life. My ex-friends and I never had fights or disagreements, they just stopped being my friend. The most recent one I think is due to the guy she married, he was something of a jerk. I still miss talking to her, I traveled all the way to Michigan to be in her wedding, and I was the maid of honor. Haven't really talked to her since.

Now, I have a handful of friends I can rely on, and that is all I really need. I am content most of the time to hang out with my fiance and the cats, or y'all here. I am an only child, so I am used to solitude and keeping company with myself.

I can't imagine any of you having trouble making friends, you are such nice people. And if making friends extends to TCS, and I think it does, we all have a huge circle of friends.

Count me in as another stay-at-home. I have old and true friends and the number I can count on one hand. They are the type of friends that I would do anything for, and I have known them all at least 20 years or more.

Since arriving here as a refugee from another pet board that was constantly in flames, I have added to my friend count although I have not met these people in real life yet. They know who they are, and they know that they are a very real part of my life.

I have always been content to sit at my desk and write, or stay with my animals. My husband is the same way, we stay at home, don't party, drink, play cards with the people in this town (which is a big deal here) nor do I play Bingo with the ladies. When I was growing up, besides my best friends of which I had 2, my other friends were found it books: The Happy Hollisters, The Boxcar Children, Nancy Drew, Hardy Boys, All of a Kind Family, and dear Dr. Seuss were some of the people I spent the most time with. When I left Southern California to move to Alaska and marry Mike who I had been writing to for over 4 years, I really lost touch with a lot of people, we traveled a lot into the interior of Alaska and we met some really colorful and interesting and sometimes downright wacky people there!

I remember one morning at a bush station, we were drinking coffee with the crew. I had come in to meet the guys at Mike's request, we had a small cabin nearby where the company put us up. So we were sitting there, and all of a sudden the front door crashed open, and I jumped but no one else did. I heard this really strange "vrooooming" noise in the background, and this man comes in with his arms straight out like an airplane, swooping and diving and making airplane noises! No one even looked up, but one gentleman who said "Good Morning Wallace." Wallace proceeded to zoom all over the room and then zoomed into this own cubicle to wind down. LOL Interesting meeting that was.

So although I am labeled as the weird cat lady in my area, gratefully I am not that wierd! I just enjoy the company of animals to the company of people 95% of the time

I don't have a problem with meeting people, I get along with a lot of people, but I have a problem with trust. That didnt happen til I went through the crap my mother in law put me through. But I am slowly getting better.

Hi Teresa, you are definitely not alone! I have but a few friends, no husband, no kids. Even though I work full-time and see people all day (and for the last two years did the work plus school thing), I still often feel isolated. My birthday was last week, and I spent the day by myself! The few close friends I have, do have lives and responsibilities outside of me, and forgot my special day. I didn't remind them, so ... I was by myself and depressed on my bday! Now that I'm out of school, though, I am really trying to re-connect and cultivate my friendships. Now that I have time again, I'm trying to be more social, because it's so depressing to be alone all the time. I was happy to meet you at the cat show on Saturday, I love cats and it was fun to chat with you! Teresa, I think getting involved with the cat show scene may help you to build a friend network. Or, maybe taking a fun night class? Where I live, Piedmont Adult School offers all kinds of classes -- cooking, exercising, languages, computer skills -- I'm going to take a class there in American Sign Language in the fall.

Dragonlady, you are not alone. I have acquaintances. Never really friends. I live 40 miles from where I worked and since it is longdistance to call, no one I work with calls. I left my hometown in 1968 and have not made any what I would call close friends since. The people I worked with are nice but never invite me to do things away from work. I don't understand why. I always try to be a good friend????? Now I don't go out because I don't like going places alone. Sometimes I coax my daughter to go with me. A couple of the people I worked with do write occasionally and ask what is going on but never call to ask me to do things with them. I have one who gets online and we chat and sometimes play games.
I have kids but one lives 500 miles away and one does not talk to me. Her loss, mine to as I don't see my grandkids either.
I seem to have more friends online.

Well enough. More happy thoughts.

I only have a couple real friends in real life. I have hundreds of online friends especially from my home board that I've been on for over 2 years

I would like to say that I have met some friends here as well.

Youre not alone at all I know Im very new here, but I frequent many other message boards daily. (My job allows for it and boredom at home asks for it ) I moved to my town about 2 years ago now and I still havent made many friends. Acquaintences, yes.. but no one that I call to chat with or go hang out with. I havent really made any true friends since High school. I went straight in to family mode and skipped college. So now its just me and my daughter (her dad and I arent together anymore!) and now our 2 new cats. It gets kind of lonely some days, but Im used to it I guess. I post like crazy on my other message boards, one thats just like this in format actually. It keeps me entertained and busy. But really, with my house and yard to keep up, and working full time and also being a full time single mom, I have no time to meet people and make any friends! All the time Im left with is after Laura goes to bed and I cant go anywhere but online.

Man I thought I was the only person who had no close friends! Ted is my best friend. We are not drinker's or card players.I know a lot of people but no one I call or calls me.And there is't one person I can talk to about problem's except the friends I have made here.Ted & I have move so oftern when he was in the Army,so makeing friends was hard,and now we don't know how.

You hit it on the nail. Trust. My whole life has been filled with people telling me they will do something, then don't. My first date for a school dance failed to show up after I got all dressed up. People tell me they will do this or go there with me and never show up. No calls to explain. Just don't show. hehe even my kids do this to me.???? After 50+ years of that, I am gun shy.
Another proplem, where to meet people? Everything I try turns out a bust. I tried a 4 wheeler club, I love riding, but it was mostly men and boys who liked the hairy edge of riding. No me. No men to meet as they were all married. Tried bingo??
Don't like bars, don't drink, don't smoke(can't tolerate smoke), go to church but no one there either. They are friends when I show up at services or get togethers but when it's over it's over and I go home.

I just have to keep my online friends

Trust does play a huge part of why many of us are alone. We have to force ourselves to give the benifit of the doubt. Maybe we should spend a month and try to cultivate a friendship. Pick just one person and make sure to say hello and really listen to what they have to say. I am working hard not to do the "compare" thing. I will be listening to someone and all of a sudden I find myself telling my story of how something similar happened to me. I need to let the conversation focus on the other person, or something we have in common.

It is so hard to open up if we think everything we say will be used against us later. Too many people do this, maybe because they are afraid you will do it first, I don't know.

At least I know I can talk to you guys and feel better.

I don't have any really close friends, either. I have always felt like the Simon & Garfunkel song, "I am a Rock, I am an Island. All alone. My closest friend is my cat, Snoopy. I have aquaintances, but no real friends. I've tried, but I don't think I know how to relate to other people all that well.

I sometimes think I spend too much time on the computer, for one thing, but I didn't have a lot of friends even before the computer.

Dragonlady, I noticed that you live in California as well, but you probably live in Northern California. I'm not familiar with Citrus Heights.

Since my divorce(other half never let me go anywhere or have friends)
I've been a bit on the shy side and am not really good at making friends. I do have one friend that I can call to do stuff but I find it hard to just open up and tell her how I feel cause I'm afraid she will think of me as a silly person. So she is my friend/aquaintence.
There is another lady that I had a falling out with when we lived together a long time ago(before I met the a** that I stupidly married and thankfully divorced) but it seems recently we have been seeing more and more of each other since we share the same circle of people(my s/o's friends mostly he has lots of them!) at first it was ackward to see her again, but it seems like more and more we are talking and my s/o and I were even invited to her party a couple of days ago. I was pretty floored because I never thought we'd get together like that again! I dont' know, it's still really weird but I think we might be forming(at least a little)a small bond again. but what do I know? like I said, I'm not good at making friends. We moved all over the place when I was younger(preacher for a father) so after the first move, i shut down and whenever someone came into my life, I'd close them out so I wasn't hurt again when we moved. and my marriage didnt' help either, but I guess now since I'm free of him and have an especially outgoing man now, I'm having to do more things and maybe find out how to make friends again??? who knows?

HopeHacker I live just outside of Sacramento. It is quite a drive from here to there. However half way is only 4 hours away Perhaps we can get some of us together around Fresno for a lunch/dinner get together?

jugen

I know what it is like to be kept from your friends by a jerk of a husband. My first was like that. Keep in touch with your old/new friend it sounds like things ae going better there.

sherral46
Keep on trying to meet folks. I know you will be glad you did.

Maybe we should all invite our neighbors to a bar-b-que/pot luck as an ice breaker. Have a list of subjects ready in case your mind goes blank. Bob Hope comes to mind as a topic.

I don't have many "real life" friends either. Or maybe I should say, I don't have many friends that live in the same area I do. I have one good friend here in Denver, but it's difficult for us to get together and do stuff because she has two kids and her husband is on call about every other weekend, so he can't go out. I've always found it difficult to make friends in real life, but the ones I do have are very good friends.

I really don't have much time to go seeking out friends. I work 40+ hours a week, and now I work on Save Samoa, Stray Pet Advocacy, and I'm trying to start my little graphics venture on the side. And I have to take care of hubby so he can maintain his image (darn Gemini! ) as the cool DJ and radio producer, and apparently in that world I'm just "the wife." So in reality, he doesn't do much for my social life.

This site has really opened up a whole new world for me. I have made more than a few true friends here, and I value these friendships as much as any "real life" ones. Just because we haven't met face to face doesn't mean that you guys are any less real to me, that I care any less about you than someone I can sit down and have a cup of coffee or a rum & diet coke with. I'm very grateful for everyone here, because this is by far the best all around group of people I have ever had the honor of meeting.

Looks like you're definitely not the only one!

When I moved to this city I worked 3 part-time jobs, including every night and every weekend. Not a great way to build a social life, especially if you're an introvert. Then I ended up living with a man who turned out to be extremely posessive - he freaked out every time I even talked on the phone with someone - that sure didn't help, plus for some reason I've always gotten along better with men than with other women.

After I got away from him I made a few acquaintances at work, but since I worked such terrible hours I could never go out. Also I'm allergic to tobacco, so clubs are out, and my "friends" got tired of me turning them down when they wanted me to go to clubs with them. I'll probably get flamed for saying this (ducking) but I love to dance & listen to live bands, so I really wish that smoking would be banned in clubs!

Then I met my husband, who is absolutely my best friend in the world. He's an introvert like me, so we do well together. We spend a lot of time hiking and walking together. We have a few mutual friends and do OK, but I still wish I knew how to warm up to people more & meet people.

I quit smoking 7 years ago and hate to even smell the stuff. I almost walked out of a comedy club as the Comedian lit up during his routine. We were in the back, but he was right under the intake for the A/C Bleah and Hubby has asthma!

This guy had his wife and kid there too! The little girl was a cute 18 month old.

Hope you try the Bar-B-Que/Pot luck thing as it helps to start with getting people together!

Wow...what an interesting thread! I guess I'm not alone even though I thought I was the only one who didn't have many "real" friends. It's not a trust issue with me, it's just the fact that I don't have a real active social life. I have a few close friends, but they all live an hour or more away from me. Plus, they have lives too and I hate bugging them all the time to do sometime with me. In highschool & in college I had lots of friends, but as we all grew older we went our separate ways. I lost a lot of friends when I broke off my engagement back in 1999. They were all his friends to begin with and they took his side. It hurt me SO MUCH to lose almost all of my friends. Now looking back, I realize that they really weren't friends because if they were they wouldn't have turned their backs on me.

It sucks being alone! Just last week my boss Brandon and I were chatting about our weekend plans. I told him I'd be at home hanging out with the family and the animals. He called me a Hermit! He just doesn't understand that I'm not a social butterfly and that I don't have friends galore.

I'm just glad that I found this place. I've spilled my heart to people on this site...I've shared things that even my closest friends don't know. I cherish the great friends that I've made on TCS...I wish I could meet each and every one of you! I definitely think I'm closer to people on here than I am with my "real" friends.

Anyone near Nebraska? I'd love to meet fellow members...maybe I'll hit the lotto and we'll have a BIG convention!
Once again, thank you all for being so good to me...I love you guys!

Oh I almost forgot to get a lottery ticket!

u know guys, if i could just save up enough cash to go over to anywhere anyone of u stay, i would really wish to meet up with u ppl... u guys are just as real as anybody..just like friends who stay a few hundred miles away...