I am truly sorry to hear about what happened. To says it's rough for you now would be a gross understatement, but I think you did the right thing. You now need to worry about yourself. I was once involved for 2 years with a man, whom I loved so much, and thought I would be married to (he did propose 3 times). He was Prince Charming most of the time, but had undercurrents of nastiness--emotional and verbal (I think he didn't see it as being abusive, as he never used profanity then). It took 2 years to get to the point of a meltdown, with a bit of physical abuse one night, when I was visiting him in his state (700 miles from my home). I felt trapped in his house, nowhere to go (the train didn't leave until late the next night), and I was a bit scared. It was so awful--I loved him, but knew I had to save myself, and end the relationship THEN. Even though you know it's the right thing to do for yourself, it still hurts to end the relationship.
I am so glad you had the strength to leave. Take care of yourself, and keep us posted, please????
I know this may sound callous to say right now, but I mean it nicely, woman-to-woman: things WILL get better for you on your own. You will find true happiness in the future. The right man is out there somewhere, and you'll probably meet him when you least expect it. Of course, you probably aren't concerned with this right now, but this piece of advice is for you to remember when things settle a bit in your life, and it may seem as if there's nobody out there for you. And, if you're not interested in a future relationship, you can still be content and happy in life, too!
I used my bad relationship as a yardstick to measure future ones. When I look back, I can't believe I was willing to accept that other guy! I finally met my soulmate (though we do have problems once in awhile; and you poor guys here end up hearing about them!
) when I had decided I was not interested in finding anyone. I compare Dh to the jerk, and like I said, it's like night and day--what WAS I thinking with the other one???
I know 2009 will be so much better for you! It's a rotten way to start it, though, isn't it???
Sending mega-vibes your way: