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to call or not to call? - Page 2

post #31 of 54
Thread Starter 
Sooo, something unexpected happened yesterday which kept me from calling the phone guy.
Ill try and tell you guys in the shortest way.
2 years ago I met a customer at my work, he would come in all the time, I hated him at first, but he would always ask for me. Eventually we bonded over our love of dogs, and we started have doggy playdates. After I broke up with my ex this customer and I had a drunken encounter, and it just kept happening for over a year. He told me from the start we were just friends, he wasnt a relationship type. We ended up being roommates and during that time he treated me like crap, and I watched as he had other girls over. Though I knew how he felt, i couldnt help but like him and seeing these girls and living with him, really took its toll on me. By the time I moved I never wanted to talk to him agian, and I didnt for 3 months. Once we started talking agian, things kinda fell back into the same old routine, which i didnt like. I didnt want to put myself in that position agian to let him string me along like normal.

Maybe the distance did it, but for the last month or so he calls me everyday and wants to hangout, but since I moved recently I have been to busy to hangout. Yesterday he told me he had very strong feelings for me and asked me if I felt the same. I told him though I might have feelings for him, after what I went through for the year I lived with him, and the way he made me feel, and watching all the girls come over, I dont know if I could ever believe that he wants to be with me and me only, I told him I dont believe these "feelings" of his. But he swears up and down he feels this way, I told him I need to think about it and he wanted an answer yesterday, I told him I had waited for over a year for him and he can wait for me.
Though I know I dont think he could ever give me what I really need emotionally, when we are together, just hanging out, its like we have known eachother forever and we have everything in common, inculding my name, its Margo and so is his moms, its not a very common name

Anyways this kept me from calling the phone guy, he was texting me all day yesterday and left it at he is waiting for my answer, when i woke up this morning he had text me "i miss you' (let me just say he is not the type to say that, kinda surprised me) Anyway this is a super short version of what happened yesterday.

I know I should still call the phone guy, but now Im stressed and thinking about my friend, I might still have feeling for him, but I think I know better now, it would take ALOT, and I mean ALOT for him to prove to me he really does care, so I guess until I see that "proof" Ill just keep seeing other people.

Just wanted to update you guys. My drama never ends.

Im planing on calling the phone guy today and invite him to a BBQ on Memorial Day, but my problem also is this customer/roommate guy lives walking distance to me (he wont by june 1st hes moving) but untill then I can be subjected to "pop ins" and if he did that while there was a guy here, all heck would break loose.

Why do guys never know what they want till they dont have it anymore? I guess distance does make the heart grow fonder.
I think in my case it made my heart grow colder.
Ohwell, ill let you guys know what the phone guy say, whose name is Dan by the way!
post #32 of 54
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sydney View Post
...Why do guys never know what they want till they dont have it anymore?...
It's not all guys. It's not even just guys. It's how some people are made: they desperately want whatever they don't have -- but as soon as they get it, they cease to appreciate its value, and they start wanting something else.

I don't know whether people like that are capable of changing. I hope so. But this kind of person is a broken heart looking for a place to happen -- and the precedent you established with him is a very dangerous one.

If you decide to let this guy back into your life, you need to be very, very strong in your determination to end it the instant he goes back to his old ways. And never look back!
post #33 of 54
Quote:
Originally Posted by CarolPetunia View Post
It's not all guys. It's not even just guys. It's how some people are made: they desperately want whatever they don't have -- but as soon as they get it, they cease to appreciate its value, and they start wanting something else.

I don't know whether people like that are capable of changing. I hope so. But this kind of person is a broken heart looking for a place to happen -- and the precedent you established with him is a very dangerous one.

If you decide to let this guy back into your life, you need to be very, very strong in your determination to end it the instant he goes back to his old ways. And never look back!
Don't do it. He sounds like a loser/user. Call the frickin' cable guy already will ya!???
post #34 of 54
I wouldnt let that Idiot sorry but he is prevent you from calling that cable guy!

Call the cable guy, i am pretty sure positive things will come out of it!
post #35 of 54
Enough with the excuses. Call the man!!!
post #36 of 54
I don't want to judge your friend just based on what you've said and being I don't actually know him, but it sounds like you'd just be setting yourself up for heartbreak... I dated a guy once who sounds as though he's similar to your friend and I had broken up with him and when he came back crying about how sorry he was, I made the mistake of taking him back (I NEVER take people back, no matter who did the breaking up, and the one time I did it was a horrible choice)... he just used me and treated me horribly again... I know it's hard when you do have feelings, but I have to agree that people "like that" (again not trying to be judgemental, just relaying my experiences) don't change...

So go call Dan!!!!! Just think about how hot he is hahaha and if your friend were to "pop over" while Dan was visiting, there really should be no problem - you and your friend ARE NOT couple, so tough cookies to him - he had plenty of chances and he just treated you like crap instead... plus, as of right now, you and Dan would be just friends and there's nothing wrong with hanging out with a friend! Call Dan and invite him to the BBQ and have a good time! Don't be swayed by empty promises of change
post #37 of 54
Honey, in my opinion, you need to stay away from your "friend" until you understand what you want. Basically, he sounds like an old "friend" of mine, who was there when he didn't have anyone else, but didn't give a crap if he had a "better offer" (insert..."new bimbo"). I found him on My Space a few months ago, and just dropped him a note saying hi, and he wanted to come and visit. Now, he's married with 2 kids, and I'm married, so I replied saying"SURE, WE would LOVE to meet your wife and kids". Haven't heard from him since.

One thing I've learned is what is familiar isn't always what is good for you. It sounds like you are using him as an excuse for not getting to know anyone else. I did the same thing for a while, but it's not a good idea. I would say, leave him alone and let him grow up some, and in the mean time get to know other people. Who knows what will happen down the road.

In other words...CALL THE CABLE GUY!!!!
post #38 of 54
Quote:
Originally Posted by Natalie_ca View Post
Enough with the excuses. Call the man!!!
yea that
i know what i want,
can you loan me 15 million hehe
post #39 of 54
I normally don't call them, I let them call me - so in this situation I don't know... But that's just me
post #40 of 54
Ok, perfect example of me being a dork in a hot guy situation so you don't feel alone! haha

So for New Years Eve, my cousin and I and a bunch of friends went to a bar for their open bar/dinner thing - we were THE FIRST people there haha (they literally unlocked the doors for us) and we all sit down at one end of the huge bar and I look down to the other end and swear I see my junior prom date tending, so I turn to my cousin Pam and go "do I yell his name and look like a fool if it's not him?" well I went for it and it was him - we hadn't seen each other in like 6 years... ok this guy is GORGEOUS! and I've always felt that way lol and on top of it he's an INCREDIBLE person - the perfect gentleman etc, so I was happy to see him and all etc etc... well this past Friday my cousin calls me to come down to that bar (a whole other long story behind that but the fact that she was actually out of her house was amazing, so I had to go) and she's texting me while I'm on my way that Karl wants to see me haha... so I get there (of course lookin good cuz I knew where I was going lol) and we say hi and all and he says he was telling my cousin I should call him - well I don't have his number haha so he wrote it and gave it to me... then when we go to leave, he brings over our tab and it's only $35!! (2 of our group got there at 5 and even had dinner then there were 2 more of us that were drinking so that bill was incredible!) so we gave him a $30 tip lol and blew kisses to him as we left (way to busy for him to stop and talk)... so later I texted him about how incredible he is for that tab and he responded how it woulda been zero (meaning it woulda come out of his tips) but the other tenders were there... so I've been all giddy thinking about him for the past 2 days and just received a txt from him saying he was sorry I didn't get a job (that's all it said haha) and I got all red and flustered like a little school girl haha

Anyway... you aren't the only one who gets dorky around hot guys I got this dorky and he and I are friends! I can't imagine if he was a stranger just how dorky I would get
post #41 of 54
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sydney View Post
I know I should still call the phone guy, but now Im stressed and thinking about my friend, I might still have feeling for him, but I think I know better now, it would take ALOT, and I mean ALOT for him to prove to me he really does care, so I guess until I see that "proof" Ill just keep seeing other people.
My opinion is that you should forget about your "friend". He may be good-looking, someone you're used to, and maybe he's so much fun intimately

But really, in a little bit of time you and someone else can get to know each other and really bond to the point you feel comfortable spilling your heart out to that person... and you might find that the new person respects your feelings and treats you the way you would like to be treated. The world is full of hot guys, even ones with whom the sexies may be more fun. You deserve a new hot guy who will treat you well. (I would find it difficult to get over all of the girls coming and going while living with the former.)

I think you should at least see if you have a chemistry with Dan... tall, big muscles....
post #42 of 54
You haven't called him YET!? You better get moving before he thinks you are not interested. (I have not been able to completely follow this thread, but I really think you should call him.)
post #43 of 54
Quote:
After I broke up with my ex this customer and I had a drunken encounter, and it just kept happening for over a year. He told me from the start we were just friends, he wasnt a relationship type. We ended up being roommates and during that time he treated me like crap, and I watched as he had other girls over. Though I knew how he felt, i couldnt help but like him and seeing these girls and living with him, really took its toll on me. By the time I moved I never wanted to talk to him agian, and I didnt for 3 months. Once we started talking agian, things kinda fell back into the same old routine, which i didnt like. I didnt want to put myself in that position agian to let him string me along like normal.
I had a friend like that. When he was alone, I was his "SIS". When someone better came along, he didn't even know my name. (He actually introduced me as someone he danced with every once in a while) I finally told him my life was not a convenience store, open for HIS convenience.

Drop the "friend". All he wants is a free ride on your heart and pride. Call Dan. He sounds like he would take care of that heart!
post #44 of 54
I think you should call the cable guy before you worry about stuff with your "friend". I've sort of been in a similar position before, and the one that seemed to act like an idiot towards me half of the time just got themselves bumped down further on my friend list and we didn't talk as much.
post #45 of 54
Quote:
Originally Posted by SSmith0385 View Post
I normally don't call them, I let them call me - so in this situation I don't know... But that's just me
Same here Anytime I took the advice to make the first move, I was shot down.
post #46 of 54
Thread Starter 
Ok so its been a while, and I took longer then expected, but I called him today! Hopefully he calls me back, it went straight to voicemail, he is probly working.

So hopefully it hasnt been too long but I know I took my sweet time, I told him on the voicemail that I had misplaced his card but good news I found it!

So now Im just waiting, the ball is in his court.

Ill keep you guys updated!
post #47 of 54
Ooh how exciting!! Cant wait to hear how it works out!!
post #48 of 54
Yay!!!



I'm kinda in the same spot where I'm waiting for the guy to make the move back since I already made mine... I hate waiting haha
post #49 of 54
Thread Starter 
I know, I hate waiting too!

He didnt call me back yesterday, maybe he wont at all, or maybe he is doing that wait a day thing guys do sometimes.

Ill keep ya posted!
post #50 of 54
Thread Starter 
UPDATE!

Today as I was getting ready ( and running late) my phone rang, but I was doing my hair and couldn't answer, I didn't recognize the number and they didn't leave a message. 2 hours later Im driving home talking to my plumber on the phone and the same number calls, but i cant click over, they left no message. So I get home, leave the garage door open, and went inside to grab two of the dogs to take to the vet, I take them outside to let them pee and i look over and see the AT&T truck driving up the street next to mine. Then it comes down my street and parks in front of my house. It was him!

Turns out he went on vacation for 10 days. But the thing is, I got a better look at him today, and I don't want to sound mean, but he isn't my type i guess. I just cant see myself going out with him. I know its horrible, but I just didn't feel anything, ya know?

Anyways I was friendly and we talked for a minute before I left. He said he was going to be working in the area this week. Im worried he might stop by agian, not that I wouldn't mind a new friend, but those arn't his intentions, and I hate surprises.

So i don't know what to do.
Im such a dork
post #51 of 54
Give the guy a chance

Looks are superficial and it's inside that really matters. He sounds like a great guy. Don't be foolish and waste an opportunity

It's the first impressions that really matter, and 10 days ago he impressed you enough to get all giddy and worried about calling him. Go with that

Go out and have fun. You might find yourself surprised.




Quote:
Originally Posted by Sydney View Post
UPDATE!

Today as I was getting ready ( and running late) my phone rang, but I was doing my hair and couldn't answer, I didn't recognize the number and they didn't leave a message. 2 hours later Im driving home talking to my plumber on the phone and the same number calls, but i cant click over, they left no message. So I get home, leave the garage door open, and went inside to grab two of the dogs to take to the vet, I take them outside to let them pee and i look over and see the AT&T truck driving up the street next to mine. Then it comes down my street and parks in front of my house. It was him!

Turns out he went on vacation for 10 days. But the thing is, I got a better look at him today, and I don't want to sound mean, but he isn't my type i guess. I just cant see myself going out with him. I know its horrible, but I just didn't feel anything, ya know?

Anyways I was friendly and we talked for a minute before I left. He said he was going to be working in the area this week. Im worried he might stop by agian, not that I wouldn't mind a new friend, but those arn't his intentions, and I hate surprises.

So i don't know what to do.
Im such a dork
post #52 of 54
Sure I would give him a call and if he is online, you can start emailing to get to know each better also. If and when you feel the time is right and he can be trusted, meet him in a public place and see how that goes, you have to start somewhere.
post #53 of 54
I say, if he asks you out, go for it. You don't have to marry the guy! And, as said before, he may surprise you. Or, the man of your dreams could be his best friend! You'll never know. If nothing else you could make a good friend.
post #54 of 54
I heard a female comic tell this joke once.. don't ask me when, where, who.. it must've been one of those "half there" days! Anyway, it went a little something like.. she'd met this very nice man who asked her out, but she wasn't attracted to him in the least. To top it off he had a wandering eye. He was so nice, though, that she just couldn't bare to hurt his feelings, so she accepted. After a few dates she was surprised to find herself leaaaning all the way to the side to gaze into his wandering eye!

Allright, so I suck at retelling jokes.. but there you have it! .. ba-da-ching! Good luck in whatever you decide!
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