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post #31 of 41
I haven't read the whole thread but thought I'd put my 2 cents worth in. Basically, it depends on who the other girl is and how long they've known each other. If they are old friends (and I have a LOT of male friends I've known for years) then that isn't a problem. If it is someone new..well, that's something completely different.

You also need to find out the story behind it. For example...one night DH and I were out and I was talking to a friend. I saw DH hug another girl and give her a kiss!! Yeah, that jealousy knife twisted in my gut! I went over to "make my presence known" (yeah, that territory thing), only to find both of them laughing at me. She looks at me, and in between laughing says "hi, I'm Tara...he's cousin!"
post #32 of 41
Quote:
Originally Posted by Trouts mom View Post
Josh has a strong relationship with God as well, and he believes that I am his 'perfect choice'. I believe that he is mine, and I think that is why this is affecting me now. I really love him and I am terrified of ever losing him.
hey, about that - have you gone to church w/him yet? [can't remember which weekend it was supposed to be ]. if so, how was it? oh, & didn't y'all attend a church in your area? how was that?
post #33 of 41
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by laureen227 View Post
hey, about that - have you gone to church w/him yet? [can't remember which weekend it was supposed to be ]. if so, how was it? oh, & didn't y'all attend a church in your area? how was that?
We haven't had a chance to go together yet, but I will be attending his church and meeting his community in a couple weeks when I visit again. I am super nervous! He is worried that I will leave him after I see what goes on there Apparently, there is dancing and singing and all sorts of craziness
post #34 of 41
I do know there are people who are not religious or believe in God in here; however, during the entire time (and now) not once did God allow that jealousy to be felt by either of us. It was total trust. God had his hand on our relationship from the beginning.

I know a lot of people would be jealous with some of the things that happened, but with us, the fear and jealousy were never there He cemented our relationship from the very beginning
post #35 of 41
Quote:
Originally Posted by Trouts mom View Post
I agree with you about jealousy killing a relationship. My ex was jealous and it led to our demise among other things. I hate feeling the slightest bit jealous, but at least can admit fault in it.

Its not about trusting him, because I do..its about other women and them thinking thoughts about him grrrr. I just feel like I should be the one running with him..Not some other girl.
I know how you feel, I really do. Jealousy is such a hard thing. I trust my husband 100%, it's the other women I do not trust! But I know deep inside that my husband would do the right thing if something ever happened.

I get jealous VERY easily. But I have to realize that he loves ME not any other women.

Generally we don't hang out with the other sex alone. Not because we don't trust each other but we feel it's just safer that way. Now I'm not saying we can't hang out with the other sex or anthing, I am just saying that is what we choose to do. We are normally hanging out together anyway because we both have the same friends and all have a lot of the same interest. But of course I will go do something with friends alone or he does also, but we just try to make it so I am not all alone with one man or he's not all alone with a woman. So, there's not even temptations of any kind. I would never be tempted by another man because I love my husband too much, but who knows, another man might be tempted by me.

I'm not putting down how any one else feels on the subject. I just thought I would share how we do it!
post #36 of 41
The first two years of our relationship we spent about 2 months of that together. Hubby was a full-time musician and on the road travelling for most of that time. When I got pregnant for Jennifer he looked around and found a band that only worked in and around Toronto so he didn't have to travel. Was there jealousy? Of course there was some for both of us. Only those of you who know what "groupies" are like would understand. Groupies would go to bed with Godzilla if he wore a guitar around his neck. Fortunately my husband had a good upbringing and treated our relationship and marriage as special as did I. 30+ years later I truly believe he has never cheated - he loves to look at pretty ladies, but then if he didn't I would suspect he was dead.
post #37 of 41
Quote:
Originally Posted by Wesley's Mom View Post
we just try to make it so I am not all alone with one man or he's not all alone with a woman. So, there's not even temptations of any kind. I would never be tempted by another man because I love my husband too much, but who knows, another man might be tempted by me.
a very wise policy!
post #38 of 41
Jim sometimes goes out with his buddy and plays pool..but I don't mind..I know he's not looking for anyone else...I've met his buddy and every time he gets a text message from him..I say..hey its your girlfriend...
lol
post #39 of 41
Boy that is a hard one. DH and I have been married for 12 years and at first I tended to be like that. Now it just depends like with mutual "girl friends" I have no problem with him spending time with them BUT I am always there. I can understand why you are having a hard time. Sorry...no wisdom here just sympathy.
post #40 of 41
We don't.....It doesn't work. I have always said, "you can never be friends with someone of the opposite sex". I don't like being jealous either, but I am! My SO is very trustworthy, but I know how girls flirt and talk to men they find attractive. I've had a few openly flirt with Blake in front of me

I definitely understand how you can be a bit jealous with him running with that girl. I dated a guy who had a "running" partner. About a month after he dumped me he was "intimate" with her
post #41 of 41
I used to be a horribly jealous person, and constantly accused my SO of cheating on me, or at least trying to. When we were first together, he cheated on me, and someone ratted him out before he ever made it home. It was a terrible time, and nearly ended our relationship, not to mention a long term friendship. It was hard, but I made to decision right then, either I was going to trust him, or leave him, and we worked it out. I still had my moments for the longest time, and several years ago, I am not sure something did not happen again. We have never discussed it in that way, but he did tell me if both of them were not with someone, he would have tried to hook up with her. She is such a sweet girl, a coworker, I could not even get mad about it. She is on the other side the country, but they stay in touch on a professional internet forum. I think he may have had a little crush on her, but he was honest as far as I know, and after knowing him 30 years, I can tell by now if he is sincere. (The 4 of us would go bowling, and some waitress said something about "his daughter" and he was so insulted, them being within a few years of the same age.) We are currently having a few problems, but have decided to try and work things out, and are communicating.
They only person I really hang out with is a guy. He was a coworker at the salon, and he is gay, but he is still a guy. It would be pretty hypocritical of me to get mad if he had female friends.
I think whoever said "just because you are on a diet, doesn't mean you can't look at the menu" put it very well.
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