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De-Sexed Male Cat "Performing" on me!!

post #1 of 24
Thread Starter 
Hi Everyone,
I wondered if anyone had any ideas as to what to do about my de-sexed male tabby, Gordy? We moved 3 months ago and ever since then he has been meowing excessivly (getting worse and worse), especially if I go out and when my son goes to bed at night. He also has started trying to "make love" to me but not my husband or son. He does about 10-15 mins of "kneading" and then proceeds to bite me and his rear end "bobs" up and down.... It's getting beyond a joke and driving us all crazy!!! Why would he still have sexual urges, he had the "chop" over 4 years ago! I suppose I will end up taking him to the vet eventually but just wondered if anyone had any knowledge of this happening to them or someone else...?
Cheers
post #2 of 24
Yes, the first thing to do would be to take him to the vet. It could be that the neutering was incomplete... he could have had an undescended testicle they missed, or some other mix-up. But he's not spraying, I take it? I think he would be if he weren't neutered.

Of the (neutered) male cats I've known, quite a few displayed sexual behaviors like humping (particularly while kneading) throughout their lives. It seems to get more pronounced in old age.

Since you just moved, I'd say the stress of the new environment is probably behind the behavior changes. I'd give the cat a good long while to re-adjust. And gently move him away if he's doing behavior you don't like, so the habit doesn't get reinforced. Maybe find him something else to focus on... they tend to like a fuzzy blanket or a pillow or sometimes a small stuffed animal.
post #3 of 24
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by emmylou View Post
Yes, the first thing to do would be to take him to the vet. It could be that the neutering was incomplete... he could have had an undescended testicle they missed, or some other mix-up. But he's not spraying, I take it? I think he would be if he weren't neutered.

Of the (neutered) male cats I've known, quite a few displayed sexual behaviors like humping (particularly while kneading) throughout their lives. It seems to get more pronounced in old age.

Since you just moved, I'd say the stress of the new environment is probably behind the behavior changes. I'd give the cat a good long while to re-adjust. And gently move him away if he's doing behavior you don't like, so the habit doesn't get reinforced. Maybe find him something else to focus on... they tend to like a fuzzy blanket or a pillow or sometimes a small stuffed animal.
Thanks for the info. No he's not peeing, thanks goodness. He is getting older, he's a stray so it's difficult to say how old he actually is. You can still see very small, even tiny testicles. I'll try the cuddly toy distraction but I think you are right about visiting the vet. he's a beautiful boy most of the time.... Thanks for your advice and knowledge, it is much appreciated. xox.
post #4 of 24
Welcome to TheCatSite.

Because cats are naturally very territorial, Gordy's behavior could be stress related.

I think that you would be wise to have Gordy checked by your vet, as soon as possible, to rule out a health issue.

Then, as you go forward, find a ways to calm him and hope modify his unwanted behavior.

I am sure that other members will have some creative ideas that you help you resolve this issue.
post #5 of 24
My neutered male does that too, he has since I took him in but he only does it when I get under the duvet. Yes it`s weird but I leave him to get on with it otherwise he comes back when I`m asleep

There are many theories but I don`t think anyone really knows. We saw a cat behaviourist last year and she said that he probably thinks as he gets his food, shelter and love from me he might as well get the other. Some people say it`s because they were neutered late or some tissue was left behind

Maybe you could get him a soft toy to hump on? I know other cats do that. I tried it but Kitty didn`t use it. Also he stopped when he was really stressed out so I take it to mean he`s happy
post #6 of 24
Charlie was neutered at 3 months old and he still knows he's a boy and gets excited when kneeding. You're not alone.
post #7 of 24
Wellington started doing that after he lost his brother. Gradually I mananged to redirect him to a stuffed rabbit, shoving it under him as soon as he started. It worked after awhile, and although he seems to have mostly grown out of it a year later, he still goes for his rabbit occasionally and not for me.
post #8 of 24
Our cat Ebony was "smitten" with one of our daughter's bunny slippers. He could be seen carrying it around in his mouth while dragging it between his front legs. He would find a nice "private" spot and do his thing. We didn't have a problem with it, we figured he was in love.
post #9 of 24
My daughter's cat, Harley, fell in love with a feather duster. He dragged it around and in her description "made love" to it. It embarrassed her when he did it in front of company, so she threw the duster away and it stopped.

It happened after I brought my girl cat, Graycie, to their house for a visit. Could Gordy be seeing sexy little girl cat from the window or something? Or maybe a girl cat lived in the place you moved into?
post #10 of 24
Quote:
Originally Posted by Yosemite View Post
Our cat Ebony was "smitten" with one of our daughter's bunny slippers. He could be seen carrying it around in his mouth while dragging it between his front legs. He would find a nice "private" spot and do his thing. We didn't have a problem with it, we figured he was in love.
post #11 of 24
Benson just started a new routine about a month or two ago. He always humped occasionally but now he is in a routine. He does it about 5 times a day now. LMAO When I get up, just before DH comes home & between 10:30-1am. Normally I am the only one in the room. I figured a stray was in heat. I have seen a few at our back door and Benson prefers the basement. He likes this blue blanket we got for the humans that the cats took over. Only once did he lean against me. I was too shocked to move.
post #12 of 24
I would take him to the vet and see what they say. I have a slight feeling that his nueter could have been incomplete too. We've had to deal with that before one of our "gelded" horses wasn't exactly gelded, we almost had a beautiful quarter horse mixed with a VERY miniture horse (28" tall) !!!!

That's my only advice on this subject, I don't have any other idea than that. It sounds like others have the same "problem" with their males. How strange
post #13 of 24
I am giggling reading this thread

We got Gibson a month ago. He's a 'senior' stray rescue and he does the same thing to us when he kneads. It kinda grosses me out and DH was pretty grossed out by it too. He told me one night that Gibson was doing it again to him and said with this very serious tone "I won't stand for it"
I laughed my head off after he said that...the bunny/teddy is a good idea.
post #14 of 24
My cat Toby does this as well... He is ~4 yr old and supposedly neutered...I believe he is, because he doesn't spray.

That said, this seemed to start when we got some especially soft fuzzy pillows. He'd start to kneed, get "excited" and begin to go through the motions while kneeding. What I did, was to distract him as soon as it started to get "serious". I'd say "no", or clap my hands, etc. He got the message and would go lay down, etc.

The pillows got so beaten up (the kittens liked to play fight with them too) that we tossed them. And since then, I've only rarely seen this behavior.

My theory is that, because he came from the shelter, he was probably neutered late after he had bred females before, etc. So he "remembers" the behavior as a pleasurable one and wants to repeat it. Although the hormones might have gone, the memories still stick around.

Art
post #15 of 24
Quote:
Originally Posted by mrjonah View Post
I am giggling reading this thread

We got Gibson a month ago. He's a 'senior' stray rescue and he does the same thing to us when he kneads. It kinda grosses me out and DH was pretty grossed out by it too. He told me one night that Gibson was doing it again to him and said with this very serious tone "I won't stand for it"
I laughed my head off after he said that...the bunny/teddy is a good idea.
Perhaps DH should lay down then? Sorry couldn't resist.

My cat is also doing this! He will knead me for 5-10 minutes then bites my jeans, shirt whatever and try to mount my leg. It makes my DH crazy!
post #16 of 24


I thought I was the only one with this problem!! My Oliver has a routine where he waits until I've gone to bed then he snuggles under my arm and kneads furiously for about 10 minutes, purring like crazy. Sometimes he does get more amorous but I distract him when he does--he gets quite upset when I do though and leaves quickly in a huff. I've always taken it to mean he just loves me
post #17 of 24
Oh my! I'd never heard of this! *laugh* Better to find out that there's a possibility of this now rather than later, should they actually start showing us their love a bit more agressively than just purring! Marrs (7) and Tiger (3) are the first male cats I've lived with. They were both neutered rather young and while they will knead the bed covers, that's as far as they've gone.

I would try to find him a nice, soft stuffed kitty to get on with. If it's you he's set on, maybe you could snuggle with it a few nights to get your scent on it before turning it over to him?
post #18 of 24
lol, this keeps getting better and better!

I haven't gotten Gibson a stuffy yet. I've taken to just pushing his rear end down. Half of the times he just lays down and it's over, the other half he gets all huffy and tries to continue or jumps down and gives himself a clean 'down there'. ewwwww!

He doesn't spray and the shelter said he was neutered but being a stray there's no telling when this occured so maybe it was done late.

Isaac was neutered as a kitten and he kneads while purring loudly but never any performing action.
post #19 of 24
Quote:
Originally Posted by mrjonah View Post

I haven't gotten Gibson a stuffy yet. I've taken to just pushing his rear end down. Half of the times he just lays down and it's over, the other half he gets all huffy and tries to continue or jumps down and gives himself a clean 'down there'. ewwwww!
This is too much!!

Oliver also does the cleaning thing...pardon my ignorance, but.....can they do anything if they have been fixed?? I assumed that things didn't work anymore... He was neutered late and I always assumed that...well...nothing could happen.... , but now I'm not so sure!
post #20 of 24
Well, I'm not too sure myself. One time I decided I just had to see if he was genuinely - ahem - 'ready' so I put my hand under there and - yes, indeed - it was so. lol and eww. I don't know if they are able to complete the job though but then why do they get down and clean??
post #21 of 24
Be careful with your choice of stuffed toy. Kitty was obviously NOT impressed with the one I got him.



He does the 'clean up down there' after too. I`m guessing they`re programmed to clean up after whether they have their 'nads or not!
post #22 of 24
I'm so relieved to read that it seems to be a very common occurrence among neutered male cats! I was looking for this very topic because of our neutered male, Sultan, has tried at least twice to hump Swee'Pea, our spayed female cat, and we were perplexed as to why he'd be aroused! We've been seeing Swee'Pea brush herself against him affectionately, then stand in front of him with her butt in front of his face with her tail high up -- anyone know if spayed females get flirty? They both got fixed late.
post #23 of 24
Jaffacake, I had a good giggle over that picture - you're right. He does NOT look impressed!

chowchow, if Swee'Pea was fixed late too I guess it would make sense that she would do the same thing too.

I know it's not the same instance but when Isaac wants to play with Gibson he will do this little dance around him where he turns his butt to Gibsons face and backs up into him while looking back at him...I've wondered why he's doing this. Not a mating type thing but he certainly likes to show Gibson his back end...?
post #24 of 24
I don't know who looks less thrilled in that picture, the cat or the dog who is anticipating what the cat might do to him

I think my Oliver has been reading this thread because lately he has taken things to a new level--literally and figuratively. He used to be content to just knead for a few minutes (with the occasional attempt at something more ) but the last few nights after his kneading under my arm while I lie in bed he had crawled up almost to my head and has been biting at me and making these horrible yowling sounds. This freaks me out and I sit up when he starts which sends him running.

My DH (who is usually very patient will all the cats) summed it up best when he stated "we'll have none of that kinky stuff".
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