Am I wrong or a mean mom

ye they are walking around mad but guess what they are over 3/4 done in less then 2 hours

Originally Posted by LSULOVER

Good for you, stick to your guns.

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That's what I was thinking! It might be hard to do it now, but it will be 100x harder when they are older!

Well done

They need to know who is boss around the house - And its YOU!

They'll learn their lesson soon enough - But make sure you don't give in too quick or they'll just go back to the way they were before

they are talking under there breath about what crawled up my butt. LOL

Just tell them you can hear them and a baby crawled up your butt and you're going to need lots of help from them to get over it

LOL this cracks me up I might just use it LOL...

Originally Posted by ClaireBear

You gave them 3 months to clean? There's the problem right there, thier not going to do a thing until the last minute when they think the time is running out. Sit them all down and tell them that for every day that the room isn't clean, your going to take away some of thier toys/privledges. So tomorrow if you go up there and it's not clean, confiscate the playstation. If that doesn't get thier attention, the next day take away something else they care about. Eventually thier going to want that stuff back and make a solid effort to clean up. Once it's clean I'd give them some of thier stuff back. You have to be stern though, as soon as it gets messy again, they stuff gets taken away instantly. That's what I would do anyway.

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I completely agree. Your not a mean mom. Your being too nice. I know it's hard but tough love is what teaches sometimes. And that's what you need to do right now..

not to make light of your situation but will you be my mom lol..i think you are not being strict enough on them there have been times when i took several trash bags and only left cheyenne her clothes and furniture thats it. the only thing she was allowed to do was sit in her room and read or draw.

I wouldn't worry about being mean...and I wouldn't let their under-the-breath comments about you being mean cause you any guilt. That's why kids say stuff like this! It's manipulation, and it'a guilt trip!!!

Any more "mean mommy" comments within ear shot, and I'd be pointing my "mommy finger" so close to their noses, that you're practically picking them, and tell them in your best Stalin or Hitler, "You're more than capable of these responsibilities...if you think that my expectations are MEAN, you have not yet seen MEAN! Mean is comin'!!! Mean is on it's way over to say 'hello'!!! Mean is gonna happen if I hear ANY other syllable, uttered under your breath!!!"

And, if they push test your limits by making additional comments, then, it's time to turn into icky-yucky MEAN mommy, and extend the amount of time their belongings spend on vacation. They'll get the idea.

Trust me, there will come a time when your children will thank you for setting limits, and having expectations. It may not be any time soon, but with more life experience, they'll know it was done because you cared enough to show them what responsibility was all about. That's what "mean" mommies do!

Mean? Not hardly!
I wouldn't have given mine 3 hours much less three months
My boys and 5 and 9 now. Thier room is THIER responsiblity! Not MINE! I went as so far to strip thier room of EVERYTHING but thier mattress's, blankets and pillows! It stayed that was for almost a week!

Now, all I have to say is "Clean your room or it's gonna be striped!" and they do it.
Trust me, you wanna do it now instead of when they're teenagers.

Another thing that comes to mind is when I was a kid, time went slower. You know what I mean. 3 months was a LIFETIME! For a kid, there is no immediacy in a deadline of 3 months, you might as well tell them 10 years IMO!

Originally Posted by Dixie_Darlin

Mean? Not hardly!
I wouldn't have given mine 3 hours much less three months

My boys and 5 and 9 now. Thier room is THIER responsiblity! Not MINE! I went as so far to strip thier room of EVERYTHING but thier mattress's, blankets and pillows!

It stayed that was for almost a week!

Now, all I have to say is "Clean your room or it's gonna be striped!" and they do it.
Trust me, you wanna do it now instead of when they're teenagers.

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Once my mother came in my room at night and started dumping all my dresser drawers! I'm not sure if it was because my room was messy or something else.....

You are not being mean at all- sounds like they had too much to begin with if they could not keep it clean. You are doing the right thing by limiting them. Things like that are privledages- they are not entitled to them- they need to earn them. If they want them- make them clean their rooms/do their chorse and EARN them. That way they will appreciate those things and not take advantage of them. It will save you the headache and it will teach them responsibility. You definitely made a good call by doing that Last year for about 6 months my niece and two of my nephews lived with me when my sis had moved home. At one point they were all being SOOOOOO ugly and bratty that we took out EVERYTHING- absolutely everything out of the room. We left them with a mattress a blanket, a pillow, and their school clothes. EVERYTHING else they had to earn back if they wanted it. And you know what- it soooooooooo worked! Their attitudes changed dramatically , they started helping out around the house, and they slowly but surely earned their privledgaes back. They have never forgoten that eithor- they keep their rooms tidy and always say "yes mama, no ma'am , please, thankyou" and show respect. They also clean out their toy bins every season and donate the ones they don't use to Goodwill and other chairites.

Originally Posted by MoochNNoodles

Once my mother came in my room at night and started dumping all my dresser drawers! I'm not sure if it was because my room was messy or something else.....

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My mother did that to my brothers lol
They were at school though.
She found clean clothes stuffed behind the dresser.

She went in, dumped all their toys, including their slot cars with the very tiny parts in the middle of the floor.
Then their books and desk items on top of the pile.
Then every scrap of clothing clean or dirty.
Then their bedding, then the mattresses, then the dresser and desk drawers and finially the bunk bed frame.

Boy did they get a surprise when they got home
They ALWAYS put their clean clothes away immediately after that.

my aunt had 3 boys and when they were teens, they came home to their rooms on the front lawn....

The talking under the breath gets my daughter in trouble too..i'm like "WHAT did you say?" "You want to come back here and say that to my face??" The answer is always no..wonder why.

I am sorry but I had to laugh at this post. I am looking at the picture you have of your pregnant belly out to | HERE | And you are asking if you think you are being mean by leaving your kids with "only" 20 DVD's, and a game cube with "only" 30 games etc etc. It just made me chuckle. You don't need that kind of stress. Take all their stuff away, get a friend or someone to come in and do it for you since you are physically unable to do so right now, don't give it back until they EARN it back, make them know you aren't playing a game.

I did read that you have taken the cords away, but more than likely they aren't taking you serious. You have 3 children, with another one on the way, as others have said above me discipline them now before it is too late. 3 kids is a chore in itself...with another on the way the older ones have to start getting some responsibilities and know they can't put them off or talk back about it.

Speaking of which, I am sure some of you have seen that show I think it was on A&E or something like that...the family with like 16 kids and counting? I just saw it for the first time a few weeks ago, wow talk about a full house. They seem a little bit weird, almost cult-ish. But they have a system that really works in a crowded house lol.

Again, just my two cents I cannot add to what everyone else has said - sounds like you have a great start!
Children deserve love, shelter, food, clothing and whatever education you deem appropriate. Everything else is a privilege. You da boss, they are not.

Also, you are raising three future husbands. Your future DILs will love you so much for raising men who can clean and be responsible with their possessions

Do you know what i would do?. As much as it would chew me up inside because i hate clutter, i would just let them sleep in their own mess!. As long as it's kept in their rooms let them live in it.

If they don't bring their washing down to you or put it in the laundry basket then don't you go picking them up. When they have no clean clothes they'll soon start putting it where it should be.

My friend who used to remove the plugs had them doing small bits of ironing when they were 13, because she said one day they would be going to university and would have to look after themselves. She would iron most of their things but she would put it on the end of their beds for them to put away, and if they didn't then it stayed there!.

Originally Posted by Rosiemac

Do you know what i would do?. As much as it would chew me up inside because i hate clutter, i would just let them sleep in their own mess!. As long as it's kept in their rooms let them live in it.

If they don't bring their washing down to you or put it in the laundry basket then don't you go picking them up. When they have no clean clothes they'll soon start putting it where it should be.

My friend who used to remove the plugs had them doing small bits of ironing when they were 13, because she said one day they would be going to university and would have to look after themselves. She would iron most of their things but she would put it on the end of their beds for them to put away, and if they didn't then it stayed there!.

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As im an only child i was very spoilt to a degree, my mother always cleaned up after me and i hated it!!

Originally Posted by fwan

As im an only child i was very spoilt to a degree, my mother always cleaned up after me and i hated it!!

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Fran my mum did as well. When i lived at home she would make my bed, polish my dresser, wash and put my freshly laundered clothes away, but i never disrespected her or left a mess in my room. And if theres one thing i used to always do it was to buy her a bar of chocolate or a bunch of daffodils now and again with my pocket money when i was young just as a way of saying thank you