Tough decision...what to do about Cuddles

tnr1 · Jan 31, 2007

Originally Posted by Jen

That is a great idea. But I am also worried about her biting. She is scared to death of everything and declawed so an outdoor situation wouldn't work out for her. Little noises send her running behind the curtain. A home with an elderly person would be wonderful. But I think her biting is a huge turn off. I think I will go around on Friday and take some fliers to area elderly homes or assisted living places. That is a really good idea, thanks. I will just have to make them aware that she can't be approached, she needs to be the one to come to seek the attention.

Not necessary.....she may "bite" in your home...but let's remember, each situation is different. We have an elderly foster who takes our "less than perfect" cats...the ones that bite, the ones that shy away, the ones that don't want to be touched...and she works with them by allowing them to decide when they want attention etc. She shows these cats in her home and so far, we've placed three cats that we thought were "unadoptable". I certainly think you could find an appropriate home as a single cat for someone who is looking to help an older cat but doesn't want the clinginess of a kitten.

Katie

kittylover4ever · Feb 1, 2007

Oh Jen.....you're in a tough position,

but I have to say I hope it doesn't come to putting her down........how I wish I could take her, biting and all.......the poor thing..........I just keep thinking about how we're all going to get old and I hope noone ever gives up on us........not saying you are...........I just hope and pray that a solution comes by soon..........

momofmany · Feb 1, 2007

The shame of all of this is that Cuddles original owners aren't suffering the same anquish as you are. They had no problem dumping her after 12 years and now she is your problem, not theirs. If you didn't come along, they would have dropped her at a shelter and she would already be long gone.

So you are now obligated to decide her fate. What a tremendous decision that is!! I truly understand your issue about not being able to rescue more cats - my house is full and I cannot take more in. How many cats are now out there that could be rescued and are not because I can't take in more? Are they dying? Yes, I truly understand your dilemna.

You said that you have advertised all over to place her. Have you reached out to other rescue organizations to see if they have options for her? I know of a place in my area that takes in nothing but abandoned senior cats. They know a lot of angles about how to place them (when they can). Reach out to the rescue community to see if you can find an outlet for her.

I isolated a FeLV+ boy in a bedroom in my house. He was stressed because he was very cat sociable and I couldn't expose him to others. His stress caused a very fast decline and he should have been with us for at least a few years. Isolating Cuddles in one room could very well push her over the edge and you may get to a point quickly that you have no option but to euthanize.

Big hugs coming your way to help you with your tremendous decision.

white cat lover · Feb 1, 2007

I also wanted to ask...have you tried Feliway & rescue Remedy? I cannot remember if I asked you in another thread or not, but it's always worth a try!

squirtle · Feb 1, 2007

Jen,

I am not trying to be mean, but I can not in any way agree with the thoughts of putting a healthy cat down. I commend you for doing rescue and rehoming, but right now you are faced with Cuddles who needs you more than any of these other cats may have. She is dependant upon YOU to save her. She has no one else and is different than the others... Instead of focusing on other cats who might need you later, maybe it is time to focus your attention on her for long term care. Begin working with her and commiting yourself to her. You might find yourself pleasantly suprised by her progress.
I know that the people who do rescue feel good when they are able to rehome a cat with a new, loving forever home... but maybe, in this circumstance, the cat you saved was meant to be with you.

To be perfectly honest, in my opinion, as much as you are struggling with this.. I don't think that you can actually go through with putting Cuddles to sleep. You would have all ready done so.

I struggled with giving Brody up, I know it is not euthanizing, but I was giving him up just the same. It caused complete chaos in our home and posed problems for Dori. He was very sick, could not be neutered, and wasn't healthy enough to go through obedience classes. I made the decision to stick it out and committed myself to working with him. I knew no one else would take him... It was all worth it and I wouldn't give him up for the world now. He is part of the family, and has turned into a very well behaved, loving, pup.

clixpix · Feb 2, 2007

You're in a very tough situation. I think the suggestions about treating her like a feral, or semi-feral might be the way to go. It sounds like she is so afraid, poor baby, and she has every right to be since her family abandoned her.

You've done rescue, have you had ferals? If not, there is a lot of great advice over in the Caring for Ferals and Strays forum.

I really don't think you've seen the real Cuddles yet. All you're seeing is a scared and depressed kitty who doesn't understand why she's not home.

I really hope you give her more time.

lsulover · Feb 2, 2007

Originally Posted by squirtle

Jen,

I am not trying to be mean, but I can not in any way agree with the thoughts of putting a healthy cat down. I commend you for doing rescue and rehoming, but right now you are faced with Cuddles who needs you more than any of these other cats may have. She is dependant upon YOU to save her. She has no one else and is different than the others... Instead of focusing on other cats who might need you later, maybe it is time to focus your attention on her for long term care. Begin working with her and commiting yourself to her. You might find yourself pleasantly suprised by her progress.
I know that the people who do rescue feel good when they are able to rehome a cat with a new, loving forever home... but maybe, in this circumstance, the cat you saved was meant to be with you.

To be perfectly honest, in my opinion, as much as you are struggling with this.. I don't think that you can actually go through with putting Cuddles to sleep. You would have all ready done so.

I struggled with giving Brody up, I know it is not euthanizing, but I was giving him up just the same. It caused complete chaos in our home and posed problems for Dori. He was very sick, could not be neutered, and wasn't healthy enough to go through obedience classes. I made the decision to stick it out and committed myself to working with him. I knew no one else would take him... It was all worth it and I wouldn't give him up for the world now. He is part of the family, and has turned into a very well behaved, loving, pup.

This is a really good post, I have been thinking about this too.

I wonder how we would feel if we were just dumped off like that, I think we might be upset and sad and whatever. I think that animals think just like us.

I think Cuddles just needs to learn to trust people again.

huggles · Feb 2, 2007

Originally Posted by squirtle

but maybe, in this circumstance, the cat you saved was meant to be with you.

absolutely agree with you here Tanya,

Jen - I read this post the minute you posted it but have been unable to post until now. It is my belief that Cuddles needs you, more than any other cat right now. Sure if you keep Cuddles you might not be able to help other cats, but what about her? Cuddles deserves that chance. You havent had her for that long and no doubt she is scared. I would be too if I had never seen a human being in 12 years and then all of a sudden the ones I loved just left and I was left with a stranger. Absolutely I would be hiding, keeping to myself. It all sounds natural to me.

Yup, she needs you right now and you took her in so IMO you committed to her that minute.

lsulover · Feb 2, 2007

Originally Posted by huggles

absolutely agree with you here Tanya,

Jen - I read this post the minute you posted it but have been unable to post until now. It is my belief that Cuddles needs you, more than any other cat right now. Sure if you keep Cuddles you might not be able to help other cats, but what about her? Cuddles deserves that chance. You havent had her for that long and no doubt she is scared. I would be too if I had never seen a human being in 12 years and then all of a sudden the ones I loved just left and I was left with a stranger. Absolutely I would be hiding, keeping to myself. It all sounds natural to me.

Yup, she needs you right now and you took her in so IMO you committed to her that minute.

Another very good post. I really think Cuddles will come around if she is just give a chance. And just remember too that patience is a virtue, it might just take Cuddles a while to trust people.

booktigger · Feb 2, 2007

What an utterly awful decision - I do think euthanasia has to be considered though, even if it is something that you keep on the back burner for a while until you give her some more time. It is all well and good people telling you to give her as much time as she needs to come round, but sadly that isn't always possible, 12 isn't that old, so realistically, how fair is it on Cuddles to keep her in one room until she seems happier and more relaxed - and even then, she might not be able to be rehomed, as she might revert back. Sadly, as rescuers, we have to make these awful decisions from time to time, and as someone else said, her owners are fine, they dumped her and are getting on with their lives with no second thoughts about her. And while I can see what some of the people are saying in that she is the priority, I know exactly where you are coming from in that if you keep her until she either does come round or goes naturally, you will be turning cats away, and that is an incredibly hard thing to do, and you do have to think about the cats that you wont be able to help by keeping her.

lsulover · Feb 2, 2007

I just don't see putting an animal down when it is healthy, people try with their real two legged children when something is wrong.

I would just keep trying with Cuddles or any other animal. I would want the same thing done to me if I was sick. That has always been my philosphy, you treat others as you want to be treated. I have taught my children that too.

booktigger · Feb 2, 2007

It isn't always that easy in a rescue situation though, while we all want them all to have as long as they need, we dont live in an ideal world, and there are already soo many cats needing homes and not enough space.

lsulover · Feb 2, 2007

Yeah, I know, but I just believe that you shouldn't give up. You know the old saying about quitters. A quitter never wins and a winner never quits. I just kinda believe in that. But that is just me.

booktigger · Feb 2, 2007

It isn't that cut and dried in rescue work. Jen could give Cuddles all the time in the world, but it still might not be enough because she is effectively trying to break down 12 years worth of issues, and you have to think about what effect being kept in one room for x amount of time is going to have on the cat - it is better than being in a cage, but could still be too much for her. And you do have to think about the other cats that are going to miss out due to the space she is taking up, esp in view of the fact that Cuddles may never change.

katiemae1277 · Feb 2, 2007

excellent points booktigger, and one thing too is that she may be physically healthy, but mentally she is not, and mentally she is suffering, she is confused and angry and scared. if a cat was suffering physically you wouldn't keep it alive "just in case" she got better when all the signs were pointing to that not happening. it's all well and good to say the perfect home is out there, but folks who take in special needs acts are few and far between, as a person who takes in FeLV cats, I know this all too well. Jen has been looking, I see her ad for Cuddles on craigslist and petfinder all the time. It takes a very special person to be in rescue, just for these kind of situations, it takes a big heart to help these cats, but its also takes a hard heart to be able to deal with all the horrible things that you see. I've often said that I would rather see a leukemia cat euthanized than forced to spend the rest of its life in a cage, cats are not meant to live in cages, why put the poor angel through that through no fault of its own?

white cat lover · Feb 2, 2007

Originally Posted by katiemae1277

excellent points booktigger, and one thing too is that she may be physically healthy, but mentally she is not, and mentally she is suffering, she is confused and angry and scared. if a cat was suffering physically you wouldn't keep it alive "just in case" she got better when all the signs were pointing to that not happening. it's all well and good to say the perfect home is out there, but folks who take in special needs acts are few and far between, as a person who takes in FeLV cats, I know this all too well. Jen has been looking, I see her ad for Cuddles on craigslist and petfinder all the time. It takes a very special person to be in rescue, just for these kind of situations, it takes a big heart to help these cats, but its also takes a hard heart to be able to deal with all the horrible things that you see. I've often said that I would rather see a leukemia cat euthanized than forced to spend the rest of its life in a cage, cats are not meant to live in cages, why put the poor angel through that through no fault of its own?

I'm going to take off from Katie's post saying this:

Yes, Cuddles is in a room, not a cage. However, she is in prison. Her home is gone, her "owners" are gone, she is scared, & there are many strange creatures outside her room. She is stressed, fearful, & angry...doing things I would do if I were in her situation. IMO, she isn't going to improve in Jen's home, it's just too much for a 12 year old to digest that other cats are good things....those 12 years of habits aren't going to break down in months....

I am not saying that euthanizing Cuddles is the only way to go, but I just keep going back to the mental anguish she has got to be suffering. I just don't want it to be ignored & a kitty kept alive evern though she is suffering.

Jen, do you think it's possible that something like Amitriptyline(an anti-depressant) would help Cuddles any? IMO, the stress of her situation is going to send her into kidney failure, if not something else, soon.

booktigger is right....Jen has 12 years of issues to work with. I know the perfect home for Cuddles is out there, but honeslty, 95% of the time that perfect home never finds their perfect kitty, or their perfect kitty never finds them. Rescue work is hard & heartbreaking, but honestly, it's so worth it, even if you make some rotten decisions.

rosiemac · Feb 2, 2007

Well i don't understand how you know she's depressed when you said and i quote

Originally Posted by Jen

She is still happily roaming around my bedroom.

white cat lover · Feb 2, 2007

Originally Posted by Rosiemac

Well i don't understand how you know she's depressed when you said and i quote

I see it as this kitty went from a home where she was the center of this universe to Jen's home where there are other kitties & the only things she's ever known are gone. That would make me sad. I always feel that to some extent whenever a cat is re-homed, they are depressed.

I will admit that I don't know Cuddles, she might be perfectly happy, but the biting, etc. lead me to think that she's unhappy. To me, a cat that freaks out when you get within 3 feet of her is stressed & unhappy. I'm not Jen, so I guess I really can't make that call.

Ithink I've said all I have to say....I'm sure I've upset people with me suggesting euthanisia. I am not saying that is the only option, I am saying that it is something that might have to be done down the line in 6 months or a year if she gets even more miserable....

squirtle · Feb 2, 2007

Originally Posted by Rosiemac

Well i don't understand how you know she's depressed when you said and i quote

Not only this, but you mentioned that she is happy when you come into the room and she rubs on your legs... and you said she looks content laying on your robe (or was it a blanket?).

Cuddles may never change... you guys are right. She may only enjoy rubbing up on Jen's legs, and she may never like her bf. She may be timid and continue to want to do things on "her" terms. Who decides that she should be put to sleep for being herself... especially since she didn't ask for any of this to happen to her?
I am sorry, but I just can't understand. She hasn't had enough time or attention to help her with the adjustment for anyone to decide it isn't going to work.

white cat lover · Feb 2, 2007

OK, I'll really be done after this post, I think.

Jen, I just assumed, but have you had a physical exam done & a bloodwork done? I mean, it is possible that she has an underlying problem that is causing her behaviors....

Again, I am by no means saying I think Jen should euthanize Cuddles now. I think I probably came off like I am saying that. I just don't want Cuddles to have to live in misery should she really get to that point. ...sigh... I should've kept my mouth shut in the first place & not bothered to post in this thread! Sorry I've offended a lot of people, I just wanted to try to help... Although now I fear I've caused more hurt than help....

Tough decision...what to do about Cuddles

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