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- Sep 24, 2022
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Hello again, I wanna thank everyone who commented on my previous post, for your comments and feedback it really helped and made me feel not so alone.
I took Frankie to a different vet today, she had been seeing this vet in the past just was a bit longer car ride. I should've taken her here to begin with but oh well. He got more xrays done and unfortunately her lungs and heart are not looking good. If you remember the previous post the other vet didn't explain much and couldn't tell me if she had a month to live or less or more. Well this other vet is a blessing, very thorough. He said with the heavy dose she's on of furosemide 3 times a day after 2 weeks she's been on it He expected to see an improvement in her lungs but there isn't. Her lungs still look really bad, and she has a heart murmur and it's her left side of her heart that is the problem. She's had a mammary tumor for years, first one was removed and a second one appeared about 3 years ago but never bothered her. He said it's very possible that it metastasized and could be cancer which spread to her lungs. Either way her diagnosis is terminal. I asked for his best opinion and he said she may have days to live and no more than 3 months. The problem is that the diuretic should've been helping a lot more and it hasn't. So he gave her a few more different medications. The plan is to administer the medication and a week from now to get another set of xrays. If there is improvement great, it'll be a long road ahead of us but if there isnt improvement like there wasn't any seen today then it may be time to start considering what we all fear to consider. it has been a very stressful 3 weeks. I don't sleep well. Every time I leave the house I wonder if this is the day I will find her lifeless. I'm so depressed and sad. It feels cruel and unbearable the way I feel. She is still eating good, her drinking not too well she was dehydrated but got some fluids to make her feel better. I'm not ready to say goodbye but I never will be. No time will feel like the right time but if there is no improvement I feel like maybe it's time to decide for her and for me. I rather her go peacefully while she is still coherent and aware and in somewhat good spirits rather then to just wait for the inevitable. Trust me I don't want to do this, honestly I don't know how I will decide but depending on next week xrays it's best to really consider it. Vet said she may be in some pain because of her arthritis but the chf is not pain just a lot of discomfort which I can see as well. Her well being has definitely deteriorated in the last few months. She doesn't jump to sleep on the bed anymore she only likes to lay in areas low to the ground. She sleeps a lot, coughs on a daily basis and there are moments when we make eye contact and I feel like she is exhausted of her little heart working too hard and trying to breathe right. I don't want to jump into conclusions because who knows the meds may very well work but if they don't then don't you think it's better now than later? I mean how do you know, how do you decide because if it was up to me I'd be selfish and keep her here till she no longer can, the thing she is getting to where she no longer can. She will be 17 in Feb 2023 and she may not make it but I'd like to think despite it all, we've been through so much together. So many trials and tribulations and so many good things too. I don't know, dunno how to think or feel anymore I just want peace, for both of us.