- Joined
- May 22, 2004
- Messages
- 255
- Purraise
- 1
You know you're a New Yorker, when...
1. YOU'RE 35 YEARS OLD AND DON'T HAVE A DRIVER'S LICENSE.
2. YOU RIDE IN A SUBWAY CAR WITH NO AIR CONDITIONING JUST BECAUSE THERE ARE SEATS AVAILABLE.
3. YOU TAKE THE TRAIN HOME AND YOU KNOW EXACTLY WHERE ON THE
PLATFORM THE DOORS WILL OPEN THAT WILL LEAVE YOU RIGHT IN FRONT OF THE EXIT STAIRWAY.
4. YOU KNOW WHAT A "REGULAR" COFFEE IS.
5. IT'S NOT MANHATTAN; IT'S THE "CITY".
6. YOU GET UPSET THAT A CABBIE IS OBEYING ALL THE RULES OF THE ROAD.
7. YOU'RE WILLING TO TAKE IN STRANGE PEOPLE AS ROOMMATES SIMPLY TO
HELP PAY THE RENT.
8. THERE IS NO NORTH AND! SOUTH. IT'S "UPTOWN" OR "DOWNTOWN." ....
AND EAST OR WEST IS "CROSS-TOWN."
9. YOU CROSS THE STREET ANYWHERE BUT AT THE CORNERS, AND YOU YELL
AT CARS FOR NOT RESPECTING YOUR RIGHT TO DO IT.
10. YOU MOVE 8,000 MILES AWAY, SPEND 10 YEARS LEARNING THE LOCAL
LANGUAGE AND PEOPLE STILL KNOW YOU'RE FROM MANHATTAN (or BROOKLYN) THE MINUTE YOU OPEN YOUR MOUTH.
11. YOU RETURN AFTER 10 YEARS AND THE FIRST FOODS YOU WANT ARE A
"REAL" PIZZA AND A "REAL" BAGEL.
12. A 500 SQUARE FOOT APARTMENT FOR $380,000 IS A BARGAIN.
13. YOUR CO-WORKER COMMUTES 45 MINUTES BY TRAIN TO A 2,000 SQUARE FOOT HOUSE IN THE SUBURBS THAT WAS THE SAME PRICE AS THE 500 SQUARE FOOT APARTMENT OF YOURS THAT TAKES ONLY 35 MINUTES TO GET TO, AND YOU THINK HE'S A SUCKER.
14. YOU KNOW THE DIFFERENCES BETWEEN ALL THE DIFFERENT RAY'S
PIZZAS.
15. YOU ARE NOT UNDER THE MISTAKEN IMPRESSION THAT ANY HUMAN BEING
WOULD BE ABLE TO ACTUALLY UNDERSTAND A P.A. ANNOUNCEMENT! ON SUBWAY.
16. YOU KNOW WHO MR. G. IS.
17. YOU HAVE AT LEAST 50 MENUS IN YOUR APARTMENT, TWO- THIRDS OF WHICH YOU HAVE NEITHER ORDERED FROM NOR EVEN HEARD OF.
18. YOU WOULDN'T BOTHER ORDERING PIZZA IN ANY OTHER CITY.
19. YOU KNOW THAT OFF-THE-SHELF INSECTICIDES ARE JUST LAUGHING GAS TO THE SUPERIOR ROACHES COHABITATING WITH YOU IN THE 500 (12 X 15 Ft)
SQUARE FOOT APARTMENT.
20. YOU GET READY TO ORDER DINNER EVERY NIGHT AND MUST CHOOSE FROM THE MAJOR FOOD GROUPS, which are: CHINESE, ITALIAN, THAI, MEXICAN OR INDIAN.
21. YOU'RE NOT THE LEAST BIT INTERESTED IN GOING TO TIMES SQUARE ON
NEW YEAR'S EVE.
22. YOUR INTERNAL CLOCK IS PERMANENTLY SET TO KNOW WHEN ALTERNATE SIDE OF THE STREET PARKING REGULATIONS ARE IN EFFECT.
23. YOU KNOW WHAT A BODEGA IS.
24. YOU KNOW HOW TO FOLD THE NEW YORK TIMES IN HALF, VERTICALLY, SO
THAT YOU CAN READ IT ON THE SUBWAY OR BUS WITHOUT KNOCKING OFF OTHER PASSENGERS' HATS.
25. SOMEONE BUMPS INTO YOU, AND YOU CHECK FOR YOUR WALLET.
26. YOU PAY "ONLY" $530 A MONTH TO PARK YOUR CAR.
27. YOU CRINGE AT HEARING PEOPLE PRONOUNCE HOUSTON ST. LIKE THE CITY
IN TEXAS.
28. THE PRESIDENTIAL VISIT IS NOT AN HONOR: IT'S A MAJOR TRAFFIC JAM.
29. FILM CREWS ON YOUR BLOCK ANNOY YOU, NOT EXCITE YOU. (THEY TAKE UP ALL THE PARKING SPACES!)
30. YOU CAN NAP ON THE SUBWAY AND NEVER MISS YOUR STOP.
31. THE DELI GUY GIVES YOU A STRAW WITH ANY BEVERAGE YOU BUY, EVEN IF IT'S A BEER.
THAT'S NEW YORK, BABY! YA GOTTA LOVE IT
1. YOU'RE 35 YEARS OLD AND DON'T HAVE A DRIVER'S LICENSE.
2. YOU RIDE IN A SUBWAY CAR WITH NO AIR CONDITIONING JUST BECAUSE THERE ARE SEATS AVAILABLE.
3. YOU TAKE THE TRAIN HOME AND YOU KNOW EXACTLY WHERE ON THE
PLATFORM THE DOORS WILL OPEN THAT WILL LEAVE YOU RIGHT IN FRONT OF THE EXIT STAIRWAY.
4. YOU KNOW WHAT A "REGULAR" COFFEE IS.
5. IT'S NOT MANHATTAN; IT'S THE "CITY".
6. YOU GET UPSET THAT A CABBIE IS OBEYING ALL THE RULES OF THE ROAD.
7. YOU'RE WILLING TO TAKE IN STRANGE PEOPLE AS ROOMMATES SIMPLY TO
HELP PAY THE RENT.
8. THERE IS NO NORTH AND! SOUTH. IT'S "UPTOWN" OR "DOWNTOWN." ....
AND EAST OR WEST IS "CROSS-TOWN."
9. YOU CROSS THE STREET ANYWHERE BUT AT THE CORNERS, AND YOU YELL
AT CARS FOR NOT RESPECTING YOUR RIGHT TO DO IT.
10. YOU MOVE 8,000 MILES AWAY, SPEND 10 YEARS LEARNING THE LOCAL
LANGUAGE AND PEOPLE STILL KNOW YOU'RE FROM MANHATTAN (or BROOKLYN) THE MINUTE YOU OPEN YOUR MOUTH.
11. YOU RETURN AFTER 10 YEARS AND THE FIRST FOODS YOU WANT ARE A
"REAL" PIZZA AND A "REAL" BAGEL.
12. A 500 SQUARE FOOT APARTMENT FOR $380,000 IS A BARGAIN.
13. YOUR CO-WORKER COMMUTES 45 MINUTES BY TRAIN TO A 2,000 SQUARE FOOT HOUSE IN THE SUBURBS THAT WAS THE SAME PRICE AS THE 500 SQUARE FOOT APARTMENT OF YOURS THAT TAKES ONLY 35 MINUTES TO GET TO, AND YOU THINK HE'S A SUCKER.
14. YOU KNOW THE DIFFERENCES BETWEEN ALL THE DIFFERENT RAY'S
PIZZAS.
15. YOU ARE NOT UNDER THE MISTAKEN IMPRESSION THAT ANY HUMAN BEING
WOULD BE ABLE TO ACTUALLY UNDERSTAND A P.A. ANNOUNCEMENT! ON SUBWAY.
16. YOU KNOW WHO MR. G. IS.
17. YOU HAVE AT LEAST 50 MENUS IN YOUR APARTMENT, TWO- THIRDS OF WHICH YOU HAVE NEITHER ORDERED FROM NOR EVEN HEARD OF.
18. YOU WOULDN'T BOTHER ORDERING PIZZA IN ANY OTHER CITY.
19. YOU KNOW THAT OFF-THE-SHELF INSECTICIDES ARE JUST LAUGHING GAS TO THE SUPERIOR ROACHES COHABITATING WITH YOU IN THE 500 (12 X 15 Ft)
SQUARE FOOT APARTMENT.
20. YOU GET READY TO ORDER DINNER EVERY NIGHT AND MUST CHOOSE FROM THE MAJOR FOOD GROUPS, which are: CHINESE, ITALIAN, THAI, MEXICAN OR INDIAN.
21. YOU'RE NOT THE LEAST BIT INTERESTED IN GOING TO TIMES SQUARE ON
NEW YEAR'S EVE.
22. YOUR INTERNAL CLOCK IS PERMANENTLY SET TO KNOW WHEN ALTERNATE SIDE OF THE STREET PARKING REGULATIONS ARE IN EFFECT.
23. YOU KNOW WHAT A BODEGA IS.
24. YOU KNOW HOW TO FOLD THE NEW YORK TIMES IN HALF, VERTICALLY, SO
THAT YOU CAN READ IT ON THE SUBWAY OR BUS WITHOUT KNOCKING OFF OTHER PASSENGERS' HATS.
25. SOMEONE BUMPS INTO YOU, AND YOU CHECK FOR YOUR WALLET.
26. YOU PAY "ONLY" $530 A MONTH TO PARK YOUR CAR.
27. YOU CRINGE AT HEARING PEOPLE PRONOUNCE HOUSTON ST. LIKE THE CITY
IN TEXAS.
28. THE PRESIDENTIAL VISIT IS NOT AN HONOR: IT'S A MAJOR TRAFFIC JAM.
29. FILM CREWS ON YOUR BLOCK ANNOY YOU, NOT EXCITE YOU. (THEY TAKE UP ALL THE PARKING SPACES!)
30. YOU CAN NAP ON THE SUBWAY AND NEVER MISS YOUR STOP.
31. THE DELI GUY GIVES YOU A STRAW WITH ANY BEVERAGE YOU BUY, EVEN IF IT'S A BEER.
THAT'S NEW YORK, BABY! YA GOTTA LOVE IT
