Worry And Anxiety

[RavenHawke]

How do I cope with the worry and anxiety of my cat? I have severe depression and anxiety and am taking meds. All I do is worry and pray. I cant eat or sleep. Its wearing on me so much. I think I'm having anticipatory grief. I lost my cat to ckd a year ago and I'm still not over it. I feel like I cant go through this again. I'm so scared, please help

 

[Margret]

1. It sounds like you should be talking to your doctor about an adjustment to your prescription.
2. What is wrong with your cat that makes you think she or he is dying?

Margret

 

[misty8723]

I completely understand, and agree that your doctor needs to adjust your medication. I have severe anxiety revolving around animals (not just mine), and it nearly destroyed me. Please take care.

 

[DreamerRose]

You didn't say how old your cat is, but unless he is 17 or 18 years old, there really isn't any reason he will die suddenly like your other cat did. Keep telling yourself that it's going to be okay. Depression is a toughie - I've been there myself. A change in meds may help, but keep going on. That will help.

 

[Cara80]

i'm so sorry you're going through this. I understand how tough it is to care for a cat with chronic health issues, I feel like my daily mood has been based on how well my cat eats each day. It's really hard, and i'm sure you struggled with your CKD cat eating enough too and at times you felt so helpless.

With your current cat, do you have a reason to be concerned? There are tests now that can detect CKD much earlier, which is great because if you detect it in stage 1 or 2 there still aren't noticeable symptoms so you still have a cat behaving like it always has, eating well, etc... and you can possibly manage for years with feeding an all wet diet that's not too high in phosphourous. But maybe you already know this info.

I understand though that anxiety isn't always rational, it isn't for me at least. Fears creep up and sometimes thoughts get stuck in a loop. The thing is, your cat is healthy and happy today and each day is such a gift once cats become seniors, so try and enjoy the time you spend together.

If you're really worried about your cat's health, you could take him to the vet for a checkup and get the SDMA test and ask how often to have regular check ups. I think it's also ok to get help for the grief of losing a pet and anxiety over current kitties. I think a lot of pet owners here are struggling or have in the past and can really empathize with you

 

[mani]

Margret , RavenHawke has a thread here Older Cat With New Seizures that will explain it.

RavenHawke it's a difficult time even when we're feeling strong, so I really do feel for you. It probably is a good idea to seek some help with this. Seeing your doctor about meds is a good idea, but also counselling. Grief is something that we feel even before loss and grief counselling could well be useful.
I'm a big advocate of relaxation/meditation techniques. Breathing practices and meditations activate the relaxation response and are very helpful.
And of course, exercise..
I'm sure you know all these things, but a reminder doesn't hurt.

Your boy may pull through this, or it may be his time. All you can do is be there for him.. focus on giving him your love and care.

I'm sorry I can't lessen your pain, but know that most TCS members have been through this.. we've come out the other side and known that, despite the pain, the life with our feline companions is well worth it.

 

[Jayflower]

RavenHawke I can totally relate to what you are saying. I lost two of my beloved cats to FIP in May 2015; the grief from that loss was very devastating, and it has been very debilitating to me. I too struggle with grief-related anxiety and depression, and I'm constantly worried that something may happen to the three cats that I have right now. I love my cats more than anything in the world, and I will protect them even at the cost of my own life; but I worry about something happening when I'm away at work, a disaster, a tornado or a fire.
I wish I could say that the grief goes away, but at least in my case, I've found that it doesn't. Some days are better than others, but it always seems to be there.

 

[Bella’s mom]

I worry every day, every minute of the day, I would probably never leave the house if I didn’t have to work or buy kitty stuff, I’m on meds as well, I pray every night just let me out live my cats and as someone else said it’s just not my cats, if I see a animal outside I hope it’s ok and no one treats it bad, we have a tortoise around the area I live, a young one and I worry someone is going to mess with it everyday I look for him it just goes on and on and on, I actually thought I was the only 1 who did this, I hope we all get some kind of peace

 

[RavenHawke]

Thank you all for your kind words. I'm trying to live in the moment like they do but its so hard. I keep thinking worst case scenario and I need to stop. I'm up to about 3mgs of xanax a day and sometimes that isnt enough. I keep praying. I also keep telling myself that if hes happy in the moment, then i can relax and be happy. I'm happy that I have support here.Thank you all so much

 

[Bella’s mom]

That’s what im trying to do, I’m trying to remember my cats feed off me and if I’m stressed so are they

 

[Winchester]

I used to feel that way, too, about Banshee, my Queen B. I was so afraid something would happen to her and I really didn't know how I'd deal with it. She had some health issues (heart murmur, feline asthma, etc.). And then, one day, I came home and found her on the kitchen floor. I don't remember much; Rick wasn't home at the time and I called my brother, who has told me that all he can remember is me screaming and screaming. And it took me a long time to get over her death.

But, you know what? It's OK. I still think about her; I don't think a day goes by that I don't think of the Queen B. I still have pictures of her on my desk and on my desk at work. She was the feline love of my life. And as much as I adore Mollipop -- and I do adore my Molli -- I have to say that I worshipped the floors on which Banshee's paws walked. She was my girl....simple as that. I even took off work to spend her birthdays with her.

I got over it, I guess, as much as one can. It's been almost 9 years since she died. Like I said, I still think of her. But now I smile when I think of the things she did. It's a sad smile sometimes because I do still miss her. But it's a smile.

I guess my point is that you can't spend your life worrying about what will happen or when it will happen. You see, when you do that, you're missing out on the enjoyment of having your kitty with you now. And realize, too, that part of having a much-loved cat is missing her when she does pass away. It will happen. But even though Banshee died and I was so upset that Rick was worried I'd have a nervous breakdown, I still would not trade one moment of my life with that girl. Not one moment. Sharing my life with her was incredible. And I will miss her for the rest of my life.

So....that's my two cents, for what they're worth. What can you do? Enjoy your kitty. Love him, have fun with him, cherish the moments you have. You won't be sorry.

 

[RavenHawke]

Thank all of you so much. I keep telling myself those same things and I always go back to the worrying.
I was that way with my last cat. She was my world. I'm still a mess and it's been a year but I can think of good things.
I guess it's being scared and not knowing when. But I hope in that moment I will know and be able to function and do what i need to do. After she passed away, I have been spending more time with all my cats cause i realized i really wasn't. I mean, I was just not fully. Life happens and you tend to put things off. I just want him to be happy and that's all I can truly ask for.
My problem lately is I feel guilty if I have any levity or happiness. Like I'm not allowed to. I make myself suffer. I dont know why.

 

[KarenKat]

I know you know this but it beats repeating: you are allowed to be happy, you are allowed to not worry, you are allowed time for yourself. It’s great that you are spending more time with your cats and caring for them and appreciating them. But if it gets too much, take breaks and do something for yourself. Go get a massage or grab a drink away from them. It’s ok because if you take care of yourself you can care for them much much better. They pick up our emotions so by being happy you are helping them too.

I also tend to “martyr” myself as a punishment but it’s not a good habit. Based on your posts we can tell you are empathetic and loving toward your cats. You deserve to be happy.

 

[RavenHawke]

Thank you, it's so hard. I feel guilty being happy but you are right. I need to just be happy for him and that's it. I'm still hovering but I need to stop that too.
Thank you everyone for your support. I appreciate it so much