Work problem. I Need help! (really long)

[capt_jordi]

Originally Posted by Natalie_ca

So why not just give her a head nod and a hand wave when she comes in? Will take a split second and appease her.

I try to, but most of the time she says it from the kitchen or has she is walking into the back.

We will try to start asking for her opinion a bit more.
We cant really put her in charge of anything because most anything that we do involves a lot of lifting (any of the maintenance and rebuilding and heavy cleaning) or involves using the computer (which she refuses to even use to clock in and out much less make a reservation. We have offered to show her and she refuses) or just explaining everything on the phone. She has horribly low self esteem and is horribly stubborn! And I really think our boss is to the point where she is going to get completely stripped of most of her responsibilities. She has made a few mistakes in the past few weeks that could cost us a lot of customers. And has risked a dog getting hurt.
I dunno I think I'm just going to go in next week and just the moment she starts with the complaining leave the room if possible, and just try to completely change everything that I say to her. Hopefully that will work. If not I dont know what I will do!

 

[lunasmom]

I would just respond to her telling you about you being bossy
"I'm sorry you feel that way" or
"It's too bad you feel that way" or even
"That's between you and Cory"

By verbally/mentally focusing the issue back to her that she is the one with the problem can help reign her in.

Was she there before you started? From your post it does sound like it AND the fact that you're in charge tells me that she feels that she should've have gotten the promotion over you since she has been there longer (even if its a month).

 

[capt_jordi]

Originally Posted by lunasmom

I would just respond to her telling you about you being bossy
"I'm sorry you feel that way" or
"It's too bad you feel that way" or even
"That's between you and Cory"

By verbally/mentally focusing the issue back to her that she is the one with the problem can help reign her in.

Was she there before you started? From your post it does sound like it AND the fact that you're in charge tells me that she feels that she should've have gotten the promotion over you since she has been there longer (even if its a month).

She was there before I started. And the reason she hasnt gotten the promotion is the fact she refuses to work more hours, and she wont learn how to use the computer.

And thanks I'll try using that!

 

[sweets]

Originally Posted by lunasmom

I would just respond to her telling you about you being bossy
"I'm sorry you feel that way" or
"It's too bad you feel that way" or even
"That's between you and Cory"

By verbally/mentally focusing the issue back to her that she is the one with the problem can help reign her in.

Was she there before you started? From your post it does sound like it AND the fact that you're in charge tells me that she feels that she should've have gotten the promotion over you since she has been there longer (even if its a month).

I can tell you from experience, this probably won't work. It becomes an attack. If you discuss it from the standpoint of "I feel" and "I have noticed", you take the attack out of the discussion.

One suggestion: since she doesn't like being "TOLD" about the dogs, make it a general announcement to the room. "Hey folks, I've noticed Boomer's paws are really sore. Lets keep him inside today".

 

[rockcat]

Originally Posted by Natalie_ca

Oh man! She sounds like the homecare cleaning lady that I had for most of last year. She was the most negative person I've ever encountered. Nothing nice or positive to say about anything or anyone. Constantly whining and complaining.

The woman you work for is in her 50's and probably feels threatened by the addition of younger people to the work place. She may be feeling "replacable" and less valued and that she may be let go in favour of younger employees, so she over compensates by trying to make herself indespensable by showing extra committment by coming in earlier than everyone else and staying longer than everyone else.

It also sounds like she has a very stubborn nature and doesn't like being "told" what to do.

So far as her personality is concerned, there is nothing much you can do to change that. However, there are things you can do to "manage" her and make the working environment more comfortable.

For example, try consulting her on things. Ask her opinion. Even if you don't need it

It will make her feel valued.

Instead of telling her "this dogs paws are sore they dont need to be outside on the rocks" or "Keep a close eye on this dog she eats rocks." Try asking her. Call her over and show her the dog's paws and say something like "I notice that this dog has sore paws. Do you think he should still be let outside?"

Changing the way you communicate with her will go a long way to improving your working relationship with her.

I really like that approach.

Originally Posted by capt_jordi

And also she constantly complains about how tired she is. Which I would feel sorry for her, but she gets to work at 3 AM when our shifts start at 7 to get stuff done and then doesnt leave until almost 3 PM some days when the shift ends at noon.

I know this "older woman"

irritates you and your co-workers. It sounds like her whole life revolves around Doggie Daycare. She feels like her job is in jeapordy, which means her whole world is in jeapordy. She resents you because you are young and have so much more to offer.

True, she isn't adapting well to change. She may very well lose her job. On the other hand, you may be able to help her get along a little better at work. She may become a little more cheerful and you will be doing a good thing.

 

[capt_jordi]

Originally Posted by Sweets

I can tell you from experience, this probably won't work. It becomes an attack. If you discuss it from the standpoint of "I feel" and "I have noticed", you take the attack out of the discussion.

One suggestion: since she doesn't like being "TOLD" about the dogs, make it a general announcement to the room. "Hey folks, I've noticed Boomer's paws are really sore. Lets keep him inside today".

Its almost always just the 2 of us and my boss. But he usually stays up front. So I cant really use this one... I wish I could though.

Originally Posted by Rockcat

I really like that approach.


I know this "older woman"

irritates you and your co-workers. It sounds like her whole life revolves around Doggie Daycare. She feels like her job is in jeapordy, which means her whole world is in jeapordy. She resents you because you are young and have so much more to offer.

True, she isn't adapting well to change. She may very well lose her job. On the other hand, you may be able to help her get along a little better at work. She may become a little more cheerful and you will be doing a good thing.

I hope she at least changes a bit...