Winnie and Ophelia Parting Ways Soon :(

[ellieandwinnie]

Winnie and Ophelia are litter mates that were born as outside community cats that I brought home for me and my roommate. Winnie (the pointed classic tabby) is mine, and Ophelia (the charcoal kitty) is my roommate's.

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• ellieandwinnie
• Nov 4, 2015

They've lived and played and slept together all their lives, but my roommate and I are going our separate ways in March. I just can't get over separating Winnie from Ophelia! I tried a Hail Mary in asking my roommate to let me keep Ophelia, but of course she'd rather die than lose her kitty. Will they be okay once they've parted?

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• ellieandwinnie
• Nov 4, 2015

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• ellieandwinnie
• Nov 4, 2015

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• ellieandwinnie
• Nov 4, 2015

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• ellieandwinnie
• Nov 4, 2015

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• ellieandwinnie
• Nov 4, 2015

This just breaks my heart already!

 

[cat nap]

Wow, @ellieandwinnie ...my heart just breaks for you, too. Those photos you posted are so beautiful and amazing of Winnie and Ophelia. They definitely look so bonded in the photos.

I suppose it depends on their age and each cat's personality, as to how they will act when they are separated. 

Single cats also do well, as long as you spend enough time playing, sharing, and being with them.

I don't really blame your roommate, either, for being so bonded to her own cat. They are both gorgeous. At least you tried the Hail Mary pass, and I'd probably offer to get your roommate another cat if she weren't so attached to hers, but it does sound like she'd be miserable without her cat.  At least, knowing that Ophelia will be well taken care of, and equally loved, may ease the heartache a bit.  

Could you possibly get another playmate for Winnie, and do slow cat introductions, or is that not practical?  Even cats that come from different litters can bond quite well.

 

[seniorcatmom]

Here's the thing. When we take on the responsibility to take care of our kitties, we are supposed to make the best decisions for them. I would take the high road and offer your roommate both cats. I KNOW it willI break your heart, (I know it would mine) but you'll understand what's going on. These two girls won't. All they'll know is they just lost heir best friend and they'll both be scared and confused. Best wishes -- you sound like a great kitty mom.

 

[mollyblue]

Winnie and Ophelia are gorgeous.  Are you and your roomate both moving to different places or is one of you staying in your current residence?  Would you say your cat is as bonded to you as she is Ophelia?  Will you be in a position to spend a lot of time with her when you move?  Will you and your roommate still be in touch after going your separate ways?  if you will still be somewhat close, you can always try it and see how it goes...

I'm sorry this is happening to you all.  Sort of like a divorce... families being torn apart is never ideal, but enough love, time and patience, and you will all get through it.

 

[athegaylouise]

I'm sure it's definitely going to be a big adjustment for both of them, but you both seem to really love them so I know they will be fine.

If you work a lot though, it may be easier on Winnie if you get her another playmate so she isn't alone. 

If you decide to do that it might work out better if you introduce the new cat while you and your roommate are still together. So she will already be used to her new friend before Ophelia leaves.

 

[grizzlysapien]

Here's the thing. When we take on the responsibility to take care of our kitties, we are supposed to make the best decisions for them. I would take the high road and offer your roommate both cats. I KNOW it willI break your heart, (I know it would mine) but you'll understand what's going on. These two girls won't. All they'll know is they just lost heir best friend and they'll both be scared and confused. Best wishes -- you sound like a great kitty mom.

It sounds "hard" but I agree on that one.. Of course, none of us knows you better than yourselves.. I am sure that you and your roomate will come up with the most appropriate decision, until March.

Getting a 2nd "playmate" while you are all living together is not a bad idea.. But I would make it 2 new playmates.. So that both Winnie and Ophelia can each have a friend when they part their ways..

 

[NewYork1303]

I agree with @Seniorcatmom  and @GrizzlySapien  if I were in the situation I would probably offer her both cats. It would be heartbreaking to give her up, but also heartbreaking to see them separated. 

You can definitely try adding new playmates now, but my guess would be that you might live in a place that wouldn't allow two extra cats. Also it could be that the two new cats would just bond to each other and then the problem would continue. 

I suppose it also depends on whether your roommate and you are departing from each other amicably or if there is some bad blood between you at the time. If they aren't moving too far away the cats could visit with each other. 

It also might not matter as much as we as humans think it would. They could just be separated, miss each other for a while, and the get over it relatively quickly. It is hard to say until it happens. You could possibly try the separation and if it were too hard on both a different decision might be made.

Bonded pairs are difficult. At the shelter where I got my first cat, they never separate bonded pairs

. Even if someone offers to adopt one of the cats, they won't adopt it out without the second one. It is harder to adopt them out, but better for the mental health of the cats, especially when they are already going through a great deal of difficult changes.

Sorry you have to work this out.

 At least you've given yourself plenty of time to plan in advance.

 

[mollyblue]

In some ways I agree with getting playmates for companionship... but on the other hand, that is just one more change for the cats to get used to and might cause unneeded stress.  I have 4 cats.  Two by choice, and two... well, thats another story.  But they aren't bonded pairs. They are just 4 cats that ended up getting thrown together.  I know all 4 of them would be happy being the only cat in the house.  And the two that are most closely bonded are not the two I would have thrown together.  We think we are doing a great thing, but cats have feelings too.  Just becase we like someone doesn't mean they will.

 

[pusheen]

Looking at those pictures, I would not separate them. My cat was separated from his bonded pair for adoption--a brother he had lived with for 10 years of his life, just snatched away. The rescue had adopted his brother out a week before I came and adopted my cat. If the other family would take Christopher, I'd give him up so that he could be with his brother.