Why, Why...WHY??????????????????

[mr. cat]

Please accept my condolences on the passing away of your two little babies. Neither you nor I, nor the greatest wits who've ever lived, can reduce to words the sadness and sorrow we experience when loved ones pass away.

You were a Godsend to those little kittens! Except for you, their last hours would have been spent in total loneliness — bereft of any loving presence. But thanks to you, they fell asleep knowing you were there!

Now, as they are in heaven, they will await that wonderful re-union with you! They are free from pain and suffering; and they are surrounded by loving friends. Try not to be too sad, for they would not wish you anything but happiness and love.

=^..^=

 

[kezzer]

Debby, I'm so sorry to hear about your kittens. And am outraged by what your hubby said to you. If we didn't get emotionally attached to our animals, what would be the point in having them. Why tend for something you don't care about? There is nothing worng with mourning for your pets. It shows you are human, and humane. I'm sorry your hubby is not supporting you through this rough time.

 

[tigger]

Debby,
I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your 2 baby kittens, I just caught this thread! You did the best thing any person could've done by taking them in and caring for them!

Perhaps they were sick, but it is not your fault. You did everything you could have possibly done! And, even though they were tiny, they appreciated you so much for what you did for them!! I know if I were a kitten, I would!!

And, what your husband said to you was wrong of him in the first place!

He could've been more supportive, but it sounds like he isn't. So, don't worry about posting how you feel! I am hear to listen!

Again, sorry to hear about the loss!!

 

[hissy]

I will never be afraid of a thunder storm again! I will be imagining all those kitties stampeding to their humans! Talk about being bowled over with love!

 

[elinor]

Debby

I just found this thread now. I am so sorry about the loss of your babies. Please dont blame yourself as some things are just not meant to be. You gave them all your love and cared for them so much. They had to have felt that from you. You were their mother for a time so you will be missing them a lot. Please take care and know that my thoughts and prayers are with you.

 

[pamela]

Debby, I wanted to see how you are doing? I hope u are doing better.

I'm glad that my comments made u stop and think about what he might be thinking.

As u have pointed out, yes, he shouldn't have been mad about u not cooking his potatoes. It sounds like he thinks of his own needs first. Unfortunately, many people are like that even though they love their partners. They often will say things that are hurtful, expect life to go on and not let anything affect their lives even if their partners are grieving or struggling.

I had to laugh when u said it sounded like I knew a lot about men and how they think in this section-
"The male mind confuses me so badly I am thankful that you made me stop and see both sides of things, and you seem to have a better grasp of the male mind than I do,I am thankful that you made me stop and see both sides of things, and you seem to have a better grasp of the male mind than I do,"

I do not understand men fully myself! In fact, my last date was over 2 years ago!

After some experiences with men, I realized I had to try to see things from their point of view. That's why I said the things I said- because I thought of the men I know and how they'd react if this happened to me.

I know in the past when one of my cats died, I cried and cried for quite a while and couldn't sleep. My dad who had proclaimed a dislike of cats during my childhood, had let me have that cat. After a while of grieving, I knew I needed another cat but knew dad didn't like cats so I was worried that I'd have to fight him about getting another cat but to my surprise when I asked, he said he was waiting for me to ask. He said "sure, go ahead" and u know what????? That da** cat I adopted has slept with HIM for the last SIX YEARS and DISLIKES me tremously!!!!!!

Even though DAD still SAYS he doesn't like cats, he still will put up with them BUT he will complain to me about it. We had 3 dogs but only one cat during my childhood. No matter how hard I begged, he REFUSED to have more than one cat even when I pointed out how unfair that he has 3 dogs while I had ONE cat.(Now my parents are stuck with 2 cats- they love them though! Hahahah BUT Dad still complains) Last night, he FINALLY admitted he misses Rusty (that cat who sleeps with him) because my parents are in Boston having some tests done on my dad for a fatal disease he has. That's a BIG thing- he never admitted missing a cat until now!

Soooo ur hubby sounded a bit like my dad BUT my dad would have NEVER gotten mad about me not cooking potatoes! He'd have done the dinner HIMSELF without asking me OR go out and buy dinner!

However, as I said, it sounds like ur hubby is self oriented and might need some assistance in learning to focus on other people's needs such as urs. Is there anything he cherishes like maybe a dog?
If so, u should ask him how he'd feel if that dog had upped and died for no reason then u expected him to drop everything (grieving, etc) to serve u. Maybe that would help him realize how selfish he sounded.
Just an idea.

I sure wish there are more guys out there who LIKES cats and would let us ladies baby our cats!

I can't find a man like my dad though-Am not giving up though because I have seen and heard some great stories thru this forum about some men who are willing to put up with FORTY CATS!

That means there are hope for men out there! Hahaha. Maybe one of these lucky gals who are married to one of these men can provide training workshops to men who need training on how to live with cat lovers such as us??!??

I just wanted to check on u and see how u are doing because I know how hard a cat/kitten's death can be. Sorry about being such a MOTORMOUTH! I didn't mean this to be soooo long. I'll shut up for now.

Hang in there Debby!
Pamela

 

[debby]

Pamela, thanks for wanting to check on me...I am doing better now. I still feel bad, but I am not blaming myself like I was.
Hubby never apologized, we are still barely speaking to each other, but I'm sure it will get better soon.

Patricia, you had no reason to apologize to me for anything, I think you are an

And Kittyfoot.....I LOVED what you said about the thunder and lightening...I will always think of that now! How beautiful!!!!!!!!

I just want to say one more thing before I go.....I want to thank you all for caring so much about my pain, and for helping me feel better, and I feel so blessed to have met such wonderful friends on the internet. THANK YOU!!!!!!!!

 

[Anne]

Dearest Debby, I am so sorry about your babies! These things just happen sometimes. I have a few links for you on the fading kitten syndrome. Some of the researchers say it had to do with a mismatch in blood type - something you could have had no control over whatsoever!

http://www.showcatsonline.com/fading...n_syndrome.htm

http://www.napa.ufl.edu/digest/old/1998-99/catblood.htm

http://www.vetmed.ufl.edu/pr/news_ex..._99/fading.htm

I'm puttting these links up in the hope that they may help you realize that you are not to blame for this. I know it won't take away the pain.

I've been reading a lot about fertility and pregnancy and raising babies. It really is a miracle that things work out in the first place. It is maddenning to see how often they don't work out for no apparent reason at all. That's just the way life is I guess...

 

[catarina77777]

Dearest Debby :angel2:

Please know that if it had not been for your efforts, those kitties wouldn't have lasted as long as they did. Kittens are so sensitive and it was more than likely something they had contracted either before birth or right afterwards that affected them in this way. No, I truly don't believe that your bathing had anything to do with what happened. I know how sensitive you are. You are a wonderful girl and these things are unfortunate, they hurt, but they happen...I'm so sorry honey.

Love You...

Catarina
I know you love these angels

I found another for you

Feel better...by the way, it was great to talk the other nite xoxoxox

 

[catarina77777]

Dear Anne :angel2:

Thanks for those links. I just surfed over there myself and read them. Wow, what a wealth of information.

Thanks again!

Love, Peace &

PS I see you're still posting

You must be feeling pretty good today

GREAT!

 

[debby]

Thank you both so VERY much!