Why Is My Cat A Huge Bully? (please Help)

[sofiamurray26]

Hello all,

Sorry in advance for the long read
I’m writing this because I have a huge problem with my 1 year old male cat, Dade (DSH) he was an only cat for about a year until I moved in with my girlfriend. She has the nicest 19 year old cat named Tobie (also DSH). Knowing my boy is a bit aggressive we of course took a while to introduce them. He started to chase her and mount of her and bite her neck. Tobie would hiss at him and he would not acknowledge it at all. Dade has never hissed or growled or made any warning sounds. I constuled the vet and after reading a lot of articles on Young and older cats I figured maybe he’s just bored and needs a friend. I try to play with him but he gets incredibly bored with me and destroys all of his toys same day I buy them lol. So we find a curious, energetic 6 month old girl names Ozzy. Again I talked to many rescues and vets and they said a girl might be easier with my obviously dominant boy. Again, Ozzy and dade took a while to be introduced especially since Ozzy had a skin infection we kept her locked away for fear of ring worm (it wasn’t) but they were very slowly introduced. We thought this would help with a lot of the attacking dade would do but we were incredibly wrong. Now all dade does is attack the kitten AND the older cat. He is just a huge bully. He will pounce on them and I physically have to rip him off of the girls because they just scream and cry. He rips hair out and is just straight mean. They all get fed together, get treats and in that moment he’s fine with them around food. I try and get him and the kitten to play together but the kitten is so scared of him and when she finally warms up and runs around to join him in play he mauls her again. I feel so terrible for the girls and i don’t know what to do with dade. I play with him but again he gets bored with me. I give him attention, I try and show him even more attention than the girls. When he does something bad I simply pick him up and lock him in a room but it sucks hearing him wanting to be let out and I hate locking the kitten in the room knowing she wants to be out exploring as well. I’ve had the kitten for 2 months but it took us about a month to introduce them. The two girl cats are fine but dade is just a menace. I don’t want to get rid of him because he was my first cat ever and I do love him. He isn’t not just rough with the girls, he also is with me and would often pounce at me and try to bite me with his dilated eyes when he was an only kitty but that was usually once he wasn’t riled up. Someone please help

 

[sofiamurray26]

Wow I’m so sorry for the typos, my iPhone likes to autocorrect weirdly. To clarify I meant to say he is not just aggressive with the girls, he also is with me and would bite and pounce on me as an only kitty. Usually when he was riled up.

 

[Furballsmom]

Hi! my phone does the same thing - you'll be able to edit your posts after about 25 posts (site rule, there were educational threads getting deleted because the original posters didn't like the feedback).

So, if all the cats aren't spayed/neutered that will need to happen, immediately. ALso, I would suggest separating him from them.
Rather than just locking him up, you need to yell OW and NO when he does something you don't want or bites you, and also literally hiss at him. He's a year old and didn't have any training on how to behave. Hissing is what his mama would do, you need to do that, firmly and every time, a real hiss.

And, maybe consider some calming products. There are collars, treats, wipes;
Some cats such as my Big Guy are completely unaffected by Feliway, but there are other products with different ingredients such as L-Tryphophan and casein.

There is Zylkene, Calming Care, Calm-o-mile, Sentry, Natures Miracle calming spray, Vetri-Science's Composure is another item to look at, Pet Remedy (it has valerian) is yet another, as is Essential Pet Pet-ease, Only Natural Pet (brand and website) has a calming product, Pet Naturals also has one I believe.
Lambert Vet Supply is a website to look at, and of course amazon and chewy, also there's Petwishpros, drsfostersmith, animaleo.

There are a couple of recent discussions about calming items, here's the link to one thread. Post #6 in this has a link to the second discussion.

 

[sofiamurray26]

Hi! my phone does the same thing - you'll be able to edit your posts after about 25 posts (site rule, there were educational threads getting deleted because the original posters didn't like the feedback).

So, if all the cats aren't spayed/neutered that will need to happen, immediately. ALso, I would suggest separating him from them.
Rather than just locking him up, you need to yell OW and NO when he does something you don't want or bites you, and also literally hiss at him. He's a year old and didn't have any training on how to behave. Hissing is what his mama would do, you need to do that, firmly and every time, a real hiss.

And, maybe consider some calming products. There are collars, treats, wipes;
Some cats such as my Big Guy are completely unaffected by Feliway, but there are other products with different ingredients such as L-Tryphophan and casein.

There is Zylkene, Calming Care, Calm-o-mile, Sentry, Natures Miracle calming spray, Vetri-Science's Composure is another item to look at, Pet Remedy (it has valerian) is yet another, as is Essential Pet Pet-ease, Only Natural Pet (brand and website) has a calming product, Pet Naturals also has one I believe.
Lambert Vet Supply is a website to look at, and of course amazon and chewy, also there's Petwishpros, drsfostersmith, animaleo.

There are a couple of recent discussions about calming items, here's the link to one thread. Post #6 in this has a link to the second discussion.

The are all fixed and were all fixed as young cats. I will try some calming things. He is 80% of the time a really sweet boy but there are certain moments where he snaps and just decided to attack everything and everyone in his way. I’ve taken him to the vet and he’s healthy as can be. I was worried it might be a health problem but multiple vets have told me he is just a hyper young cat.

 

[Friend's Friend]

Hey there friend,

Yikes! I'm also sorry you're having to go through this!

I might be wrong, but I think at a year old he's just getting out of kitty adolescence? And kitty adolescence is like puppy adolescence is like human adolescence--testing all the boundaries and pushing all the buttons. He might just be a bully now because he can. I agree with Furballsmom--giving him a loud "No!", hissing, shaking a can of coins--a spray bottle full of water, even--anything to get his attention and help him to learn that what he's doing is not acceptable. Unfortunately, at least from my experience, cat's don't react to "time outs" in the way that dogs (or humans) do. I don't think he connects being locked away for a bit with doing something bad, so it's not deterring his behavior.

Is there a way that you can give the two girls some space (their own room) when he gets too rowdy? And then hopefully this is just a phase, and he'll grow out of it as he gets older.

Glad to hear that the two girls are getting along, though. <3 That's fantastic!

Keep us posted. <3