Why I Can't Give Up On This Cat

[tverse]

Joined because i had to, I think i made an account a long time ago but I forgot so -shrug- I don't have that cat anymore i made the account for anyway. I had a cat that we adopted from the shelter who we named Mitten - grandparents couldn't pronounce the name right and I was beyond frustrating. Then we got a cat named Ciara (who I thought was Clara cause the I was weird looking on the paper) so I called Clara, and well my grandparents kept thinking of Mitten, and because my grandpa has dementia he called Clara Mitten. My grandma calls her 'Kitty Boo' so I just call her 'Cat' for the sake of my sanity and by now she doesn't have a name and I could care less on what to call her.

So 'Cat' has a variety of problems. She rubs up against me like she wants to be petted, acts all sweet and loving - and then when you walk away she lashes out at you with her claws. She also hates being picked up and will bite you with her vampire-like teeth if ever provoked. She hates being touched on her stomach, as well. She's 11 years old, and I'm not asking much - I'm just trying to figure out WHY she doesn't want to be petted for certain periods of time and I don't want to just 'deal with it'. She's a cat I adopted for my grandparents who are very elderly and have high levels of stress because they've got severe health issues. 

Eventually they'll wind up in a nursing home and if we have to take her back she'll be un-adoptable. So the least I can do is figure out why she's being like this and help her NOW and that way if she is taken back she'll be  better and have a better chance at getting a home again? I don't know. No one's gonna want her if she keeps acting like this by the time my grandparents go to the home because of her personality so I want to condition-train her and help her get out of her funk... If that makes sense. 

I can't give up - either. Because again, her life depends on it. ; / 

I have a strong feeling she was abused by her previous owners. Though also - I have no idea who those people WERE. She's 11. Shes had a long life. So many  homes she could've gone through before winding up in the shelter? Who knows where she could've been? I think she also has Arthritis but she wont let me pick her up, and she wont go in the crate. So I have to train her out of that fear, and god there's so much I have to do.

If I wanted to get her to the vet before I started training her couldn't I just give her a calming aide like Valium (what I give my dogs) or something like that to make her calmer so she wouldn't be so stressed - i give them a dose barely the size of my pinkey finger and this is my Chi/Dachshund mix whose 14 we're talking about.  This is speaking, if i wanted to see if she had Arthritis and was in any physical pain we couldn't see and perhaps medicine could help that...

Please help ; / 

 

[amethyst]

I'm a little confused, has she always been acting like this since you adopted her? and was it your cat first? if so how was she when you had her? or is this new behavior? If it's new behavior I would definitely think a vet check is in order as soon as possible, an 11 year old cat could have all kinds of health issues. Physical pain can definitely cause her to turn on you quickly, she wants petting but it hurts as soon as you pet her. Pain will also definitely make her not want to be picked up, though once again some cats just don't like being picked up. Was she cuddly and enjoying being held at the shelter?

However if she has always been like this, and she has been to a vet to make sure nothing is physically wrong, that could just be her personality. Not all cats are cuddly or can even be trained to be. Cats also can't really be trained like you would a dog, you have to work with them, basically the cat needs to see what they get out of it, they don't live to please humans. If she has always acted like this what prompted you to pick her to adopt in the first place?

I would not give her Valium or any drugs unless she has been given the all clear from the vet first, and the vet has told you the proper dosage. Dogs and cats are very different animals and often process drugs differently, so what is safe for your dog (even an old dog) may not be safe for the cat. Also a sedative could mask underlying issues so the vet wont know all the info since the reactions of the cat will not be normal. If it is a personality issue, I would either talk with the shelter you adopted her from, let them know that it's not a good match, or try to re-home her. It sounds to me like your grandparents aren't going to understand or remember that the cat needs special handling if that is the case, and that can lead to stress for them (not knowing why the cat you got them isn't being friendly) and for the cat. I still don't see what makes her unadoptable, especially if you give the new home or shelter the behavior info on her that you now know, so the next home will be a better fit.

So for now I would get her to the vet, to get a full physical, make sure it's not  an organ problem (not liking her belly touched) and not an arthritis problem. You also didn't mention if the cat is long or short haired, but either way I would also make sure she doesn't have any matted fur that could be causing pain. Also you didn't mention how long you've had her, if she was abused that will cause her to take longer to trust that you aren't going to harm her when getting pet or picked up.

 

[tverse]

She's always been like this since the day we got her. On the day we got her she scratched us - but we thought of it as nothing. Then two weeks passed and she was still scratching us. It's been troublesome but if we did take her back to the shelter I've been afraid she'd be put down. 

She's short haired, she doesn't have any matted fur. This I'm certain. 

She's overweight though. I need to do something about that. She doesn't seem very interested in play unless it's with my hands and she scratches and/or bites them and it hurts. She'll play with a teaser for a little bit but -shrugs-. 

I wish you could walk a cat but - I really can't. Is there any way I can get her to exercise more? Are there any foods that are better for her I think she's eating Friskies Wet or something. I know she's eating a mixture of really bad grocery store food like Friskies and Meow Mix. I can go over there more often and keep an eye on her and work on condition training, maybe not every day, but whatever it takes to make sure my grandparents feed her the right foods - don't leave the food out all day - try not to give her scraps - etc. 

I can give her treats each time i see her (low-fat, got any recommendations of low-cal healthy store bought cat treats?) and just overall work with her. I think getting her used to the crate and letting her know it's not 'evil' would be a good thing first. I don't want to freak her out - though I do want to get her to the vet. I dunno maybe the vet can come to us. I'll have to ask. (I also think we need a bigger crate. Which might be a factor as to why she's so afraid of it.)  

 

[Willowy]

Friskies wet food isn't too bad. Dry food is very fattening though, and Friskies dry food is low-quality. Are they only giving her wet food? That's best for older cats.

Many older cats have arthritis in their hips and spine so they don't like to be petted on the back. There aren't a lot of suitable arthritis meds for cats but you could ask the vet. Some people see an improvement with Cosequin.

If you want to try anti-anxiety meds, ask the vet for advice. Don't try to medicate her without a vet's guidance. Cats react to medications differently than dogs and humans do. But at her age I suspect it's more likely arthritis pain.

 

[amethyst]

I agree with just wet food, it has more moisture and is less fattening  then dry food. You could also try indoor cat food formula or even a senior diet, both have less calories and are designed for less active cats. The vet could help steer you in the right direction there. You also want to make sure she is given food in meals not free fed (daily ration split into 2-3 meals), and ideally play with her before feeding her to work for her food. It gets her a bit of exercise, start with just a few minutes at first then build up to longer, as well as makes the meal more satisfying for the cat since they naturally would hunt and play with the prey before eating it. Pretty much all the treats found at a grocery store are junk food, if you can go to a pet store try something like Pur Bites, they are single protein treats with no additives, just dried meat. You still need to keep treats to a minimum though, one or two a day at most. Another option is, if she likes dry food, use pieces of dry food as treats instead of actual treats, assuming you are only feeding wet.

One way to get the cat use to the carrier is to make it welcoming. Leave the carrier out all the time with the door open or off (depending on the carrier) and put a nice soft blanket in it, you can even put a heated sleeping pad inside so it's nice and warm. You do need to make sure the carrier is the right size though, it should be big enough for her to stand up, turn around, and lay down comfortably inside. You can also try only having her fed inside the carrier so she learns that the carrier means food and comfort.

If you could get the vet to come to you that would be great, cats are territorial, so being taken from home is scary to most cats. I would think another possible reason for her fear of the carrier could be she is afraid of going to the vet or being returned to the shelter, since that is likely the only time she has gone in a carrier. Vets are scary, the smells, the prodding and poking, the noises, etc. and as you said at 11 you don't know how many homes she has been bounced around to so being returned to the shelter could be a real fear of hers.

As for play, I would try something like a kickaroo or something similar, it's basically a small pillow with a fluffy tail, and you can wave it around. It's about the size of a hand and the tail can kinda look like a finger, but your hand should be far enough away from her that it's safe. You said you tried a teaser toy, well there are lots of different kinds, some cats like the feather toys, other like those ones made out of a ribbon of fleece, you could even try tying a fur mouse to a sting and dragging that slowly along the floor near her.