i need to get away from this place, this town.
every street has a memory, and every memory has a bad ending,
and i cant breathe knowing i cant undo those memories,
i cant change things.
i cant change myself amidst so much familiarity & pain.
i go to my favourite beach and can only remember the day
i spent with him there, the day he saw my scars for the first
time and cried into my hands for the pure beauty of my life,
and his, together in union and love.
but now he is dead to me, only there is no grave stone i can
visit and kiss and whisper goodbye to, it exists only in my heart,
in my very soul,
and i wake to the absence of him every morning.
i can't whisper goodbye, and feel freedom, even if i burn
my heart, catch a fire, catch a storm there, he survives me.
every road here is a road i have traveled before, and there
are only one-way streets left to consider...
but how far can one go on a one-way street?
it's time to move on, move away and not look back.
i know if i stay here i will not grow, i will not catch that
sun in my hair because i will not go outside, it's been too
real, the air across my skin, the rain in my bones, the
sun in my smile, so real it seemed unreal, and i was undeserving
of such life.
but the ocean is calling to me again, reassuring me that i
can move forward, allowing me to begin again and smile knowing
i am strong enough.
i have never been so unhappy, so utterly sullen and depraved,
as i have been these past two years.
i hold my breath for days sometimes wondering if i can break
that which chains me down.
but it holds me still and i need to dance with it first before
i can break it.
whisper freedom for me, until i can stand on my own and
scream at the height of my lungs, and the depth of my soul;
i am free.
i am leaving, as fast as i can,
tell life i am coming.
every street has a memory, and every memory has a bad ending,
and i cant breathe knowing i cant undo those memories,
i cant change things.
i cant change myself amidst so much familiarity & pain.
i go to my favourite beach and can only remember the day
i spent with him there, the day he saw my scars for the first
time and cried into my hands for the pure beauty of my life,
and his, together in union and love.
but now he is dead to me, only there is no grave stone i can
visit and kiss and whisper goodbye to, it exists only in my heart,
in my very soul,
and i wake to the absence of him every morning.
i can't whisper goodbye, and feel freedom, even if i burn
my heart, catch a fire, catch a storm there, he survives me.
every road here is a road i have traveled before, and there
are only one-way streets left to consider...
but how far can one go on a one-way street?
it's time to move on, move away and not look back.
i know if i stay here i will not grow, i will not catch that
sun in my hair because i will not go outside, it's been too
real, the air across my skin, the rain in my bones, the
sun in my smile, so real it seemed unreal, and i was undeserving
of such life.
but the ocean is calling to me again, reassuring me that i
can move forward, allowing me to begin again and smile knowing
i am strong enough.
i have never been so unhappy, so utterly sullen and depraved,
as i have been these past two years.
i hold my breath for days sometimes wondering if i can break
that which chains me down.
but it holds me still and i need to dance with it first before
i can break it.
whisper freedom for me, until i can stand on my own and
scream at the height of my lungs, and the depth of my soul;
i am free.
i am leaving, as fast as i can,
tell life i am coming.