When one cat hates the other

[librarylady]

So I've had one cat for a few years and I got another cat about 8 months ago. My old cat, Cali, was being beat up on and I was hoping it would pass. It has not. The thing is I don't think my new cat, Oliver, is really out to get Cali. He seems to just want to play and chase but my girl hisses whenever he gets near. I've gotten the impression several months ago that she would be best off as an only animal which is ironic since I half the reason I got him was as a friend for her. I have always wanted a house full of cats. Like 4-7. I'm just in a studio now so I can only have 2. I know I can't force her to like him but  acceptance would be nice. Like if when he want to play she could jump up high out of reach instead of getting in fights with him. I know this isn't an ideal life for her and she had a hard life before me (found on the side of a street with her nursing kittens) and I want to do right by her but I'm also very attached to my boy (he snuggles with me every night). He was in foster for 2 years before I got him. 

Growing up we had a cat and a dog and they were friends and we did everything wrong with it came to introducing them. I would say the worse thing with Oliver is that he doesn't always let Cali share bed privileges and sometimes chases her off. 

It's been about 5 months since the one and only time of blood shed but it steel had to be emotional stress.  I know Cali licks plastic everything a lot which I've read can be caused by stress.

 

[betsygee]

Oliver is neutered, correct?  It doesn't sound like you really have room to separate them, so how about other things like calming treats or collars or sprays?  

 

[ruaryx]

Hi, how did you introduce the two cats?  Did you separate them before you gradually let them smell each other, meet? Do you give Cali enough attention?  She might be a little jealous of the new cat.  Are they both fixed?  

 

[librarylady]

Oh they are defiantly both fixed. They were before they came to me. I got them both as adults. My closet bathroom area is closed off and I had Oliver in there for about 2.5 days. My that point I was having a hard time keeping him in there because he kept trying to sneak out whenever I used the bathroom. He was wary of Cali at that point and would back up when she came near.

I've bought that filliway plug in and those drops  for food from the jackson galaxy site for aggressive and timid cats. Neither have worked. Are the collars or sprays more powerful?

 

[ruaryx]

Hmm, if I were you I would redo the introduction process.  Start over by separating them again.  Keep Oliver isolated in the bathroom and that can be his safe room.   You can visit him often so that he isn't lonely. Then start exchanging scents through a towel that you rub on them.  When they seem okay with this, start feeding them on opposite sides of the door so that they can associate each other with good things.  When they are both doing this with no problems, you can start doing short room swaps and/ or letting them see each other through a crack in the door or a baby gate.  Take it slow and don't rush things.  After this step you can do short supervised visitations and then hopefully transition into full integration.  You will know when to move onto the next step by your cats' behavior.  There is no set amount of time that a step will be finished by.  It can take up to a few months, but it's worth it.  Good luck!

 

[librarylady]

So separate Oliver not Cali.  There have been times when I have put him in the bathroom when it got real bad and he puts his paw under the door and jiggles it and cries.  He doesn't like being separated. While Cali is ok with going solo he always wants attention. I've left him for a few hrs before but that's it. I'll admit that would be hard with either since there is very little sunlight. At some point I'll get a new apartment and then I can try to re do it. Have Cali in the bedroom with me and oliver in the rest of the apartment. That might be another year though. I'm going to have to think on this. I just ordered the calming spray. Maybe that will work better then the plug ins. I just don't think Cali likes other animals and Oliver was picked on at his foster home and he had to fight for attention there. He was the one being chased off the bed.  I know he can get along with other cats. He was sleeping with he's cat friend on the day he was taken to me.

 

[ruaryx]

Yes, you tend to isolate the newer cat while he is still adjusting.  If Oliver doesn't do well in isolation, I'm not sure what the best route for you would be.  I'm definitely not an expert so wait for more experienced people to post advice.    From your posts, it sounds as if Cali is a little fearful and Oliver is really attention seeking.  Maybe it is just that Cali needs some reassurance that Oliver won't hurt her.  

 

[librarylady]

Thank you. I'll probably be heading to the vet within the next few weeks so I'll she what she recommends. After 8 months I would imagine Oliver is pretty adjusted but I'll she what she had to say. Maybe I do just have to be strong and isolate him again. Man, that won't be easy.