When is enough, enough?

[bonnie1965]

I agree that personality is the thing. Seb was my baby for 10 years. For the last year or so, it was just the two of us. Then I added 8 week old Daphne. Slow intros and things are going great 8 months later. After his initial distrust of her, he began babying her. I was so relieved!

It does work with a young female and older male - I have lots of pics saying so

This is one where Daphne is 4 months old

 

[theimp98]

white cat idea is good, i had to keep heyu and eazy apart for 2 months and still heyu went nuts, and wold attack eazy. Finally i started putting eazy in cage and setting it out in the middle of the floor, after a couple of days, heyu stopped going nuts...

yea later, lol heyu is still not fond of eazy, but they get along ok,
4 days is not long enough.

 

[goldenkitty45]

IMO continuing to keep them so separated is hurting the introductions. Why not allow them face to face contact for an hour and don't interfer unless the kitten really is in danger. Cats will hiss and growl for days or weeks at each other. Its NORMAL.

You could try one of these 3 tricks to help:

1. Sprinkle both cats with cornstarch baby powder to smell the same.
2. Put a dab of vanilla extract on their noses and base of the tail.
3. Wash both cats in the same shampoo.

As long as both cats' nails are trimmed, you shouldn't have to worry too much. You are not giving them the time to get to know each other. Let them together for an hour, then separate for 2 hrs, then let them together. I'm willing to bet in another week they will be fine together without so much hissing.

 

[mezlo]

They were together for a couple hours last night but I separated them overnight. This morning they touched noses several times before resuming the chase and swat with the occasional hiss or growl. I went ahead and separated them again for today but if things are good tonight I'll probably leave them together after that.

I think Junior's biggest problem was the fact that he couldn't get to her and couldn't make eye contact for more than a few seconds. Once he was able to stare her down for a few minutes he was more or less OK.

Thanks everyone for the help and advice. I think that if I'd just put them together the first day they would've done what they did last night and be done with it by now.

Mez

 

[epona]

It sounds as if it's going fine, I had a bit of a bumpy ride introducing Sonic into my home and it took a while before I was confident enough to leave them unsupervised together, but they are now fine and it sounds to me as if yours will be too. Really it's the size difference that can make a situation like this doubly stressful, because it's natural to worry that the little one could get hurt - but it sounds as if they have tested each other's boundaries OK and told each other where they stand, don't worry too much about a bit of swatting or rough and tumble, as long as they're not pulling clumps of fur out of each other or causing injuries then don't panic

 

[mezlo]

Originally Posted by Epona

Really it's the size difference that can make a situation like this doubly stressful, because it's natural to worry that the little one could get hurt

Exactly! That was my main concern all along.

Mez

 

[emmylou]

Touching noses is very good. They're getting to know each other. That wouldn't happen if they weren't getting along pretty decently already.

I'd also disagree with the generalization of male cat/female cat relationships. My male (neutered) cat can be fierce with other males, but he loves female cats... he gravitates toward them and tends to be docile and polite around them.

 

[mezlo]

Originally Posted by emmylou

My male (neutered) cat can be fierce with other males, but he loves female cats... he gravitates toward them and tends to be docile and polite around them.

So you're saying he's a player, but he can't play...poor kitty

Mez

 

[emmylou]

That does seem to be the case. He seems to just want to sit really close to them... after a while of this, they sometimes bat him in the face and run away. You feel bad watching it.

 

[rang_27]

I'm glad to hear things went well. I did the let them together & separate when I wasn't around to supervise thing until I was sure that they were getting along. It sounds like things are on the right track. They really do have to figure things out between them. They have a whole differnt language than we do, and we only understand parts of what they say to each other.

 

[brokenheart]

You need to de-stress about the situation because they pick up on it and it probably only adds to Junior's freakout.

I agree with other posters that four days is nothing. Give them time. To Junior, there's a sudden stranger in the apt. and Junior doesn't know if they're friend or foe. I'd freak out if there was suddenly a stranger in my house.

And please don't give away poor Junior over this. That just ain't right.

 

[brokenheart]

Originally Posted by mezlo

Well once again my pessimistic side shows it's face. I decided to put them together (in the half where she was staying) and see what happens. For the first minute or two Junior was really posturing and hissing/spitting at her. He never charged her but she definitely kept both eyes glued on him. After that began the mutual standoff. They would trade swipes at each other and also appeared to keep trying to get the jump on the other one. This went on for 30-45 minutes before Junior tired and laid down. After that, as long as she didn't get too close Junior would just keep a wary eye on her.

I then let them into the half where Junior was staying. Junior appeared much calmer over there and they started alternating playing with various toys. They would still hiss at each other occasionally but for the most part coexisted independently. Sometimes Junior would try to sniff her tail or touch noses and she would swipe at him and other times it was her trying to sniff his tail or touch noses and he would swipe at her.

After a while I herded them back to her half and again Junior got a little more agitated and again they alternated stalking each other and trading swipes. This went on for maybe 5 minutes before settling back down.

So long story short, I think there is definitely a future for both of them at my place.

I hadn't read that yet. THAT sounds very promising to me!

 

[mezlo]

I've posted the first picture of the two of them in the Pictures and Videos forum.

http://thecatsite.com/forums/showthread.php?p=2089676

Mez

 

[larke]

Oh! She's bigger than I expected! I thought she'd look a lot smaller (and somehow him larger) - maybe it was just how things were emphasized in the first post that made me imagine the worst. She also looks beautiful and he's very cool - please keep us up to date once in a while.

 

[mezlo]

Originally Posted by Larke

Oh! She's bigger than I expected! I thought she'd look a lot smaller (and somehow him larger) - maybe it was just how things were emphasized in the first post that made me imagine the worst. She also looks beautiful and he's very cool - please keep us up to date once in a while.

That picture is misleading. Junior is easily twice her size physically and 3-4 times her weight.

Mez

 

[mezlo]

I caught Junior grooming Missy this morning. She didn't seem too thrilled with it and would bat his head every 5-10 seconds but he persisted. I tried to get a photo but the batteries were dead in my camera.

They've also started a game where Missy will climb to the top of Junior's scratching post (which is 32" tall and which Junior can easily reach standing on his hind legs) and sit on it while Junior looks up at her. Every once in a while Junior will reach up and bat her legs. After a bit he'll take off running and Missy will jump down, chase him and tackle him. They wrestle for a few seconds before splitting and running off to somewhere else.

All in all, they're getting along marvelously.

 

[rang_27]

Sounds like they are well on their way to a happy life together. I'm so thrilled to hear that they are getting a long. No one ever wants to be faced with deciding between two furbabies.