When Does It Stop Hurting?

[SiameseMummy]

I lost my beloved Tesla in January this year. She was only 3 years and 4 months old but developed a heart condition (restrictive cardiomyopathy).

I spent 6 months on high alert with her as at the time of diagnosis the vet told me one way for her to go was a saddle thrombosis that would cause paralysis and a lot of pain. So everytime I came home from work I wondered if she would be dead or in serious pain. I barely slept listening for any sound that would mean she was struggling.

It was emotionally draining but thankfully the end was quick and painless, she missed breakfast one morning (she was always a good eater) so I knew it was time and both me and the husband were there to rush her to the vets and sat goodbye.

However, 9 months later we have a new kitten as our other cat was getting lonely and my husband and family who were all very supportive at the time are over her loss and expect me to be too.

But I miss her so bad.

I cry when I'm on my own and wont get rid of her bed. The few times I've found our new kitten sleeping on her bed has made all the pain come crashing back and I'm still barely sleeping. I watch my other cats for signs of heart issues and I can't seem to relax and enjoy their company but instead spend time convinced they also have a terminal illness that will take them away.

How can I deal with this and move on? I just feel so alone right now.

 

[Furballsmom]

Hi!
It is amazingly painful, and it is different for everyone. I'm so sorry you're having to deal with this.
I don't know, but maybe this will help;
Grieving

 

[les26]

8 months is not a long time, I was told that it takes about 1.5 years before we can say we can really deal with it so you have a ways to go yet.
And it is normal to think that the others have something wrong with them, but they probably don't. It is always easier to think the worst rather than the positive, I think that is human nature and based on what you went through I can understand it, all we can do is keep an eye on them and deal with any issues and hope for the best.
Hang in there, with time and love things will settle down. Holy Basil might help too, it helps adapt to the mental and physical stress.God Bless......

 

[Pook]

Hi my friend.

Grief has no time limits, no restrictions, no nothing. Grief is all of many emotions and this is a part of life.

 

[di and bob]

You are definitely not alone right now on THIS site! We have ALL gone through much of what you are going through, and if not, something just as painful and soul consuming. Your support group may not seem to be going through the same thing you are, because they aren't. YOU were obviously closer to your little one then they were, YOU worried and cared for her during her bad times, and YOU obviously have a connection to her soul, you are soulmates. it is not something you 'get over', ever..... it is something you learn to adjust to, something you learn to live with and adjust your life order to.
I was a mess for almost two years. It has been 6 years now and although I can truly say it is much better, I still cry when I let myself go back to those horror filled, numbing, guilt filled first days. With the help of understanding people who acknowledged that what I was feeling was normal, was something that loss will bring to your life, and a letter from a 'pet preacher' who sent me comfort in the form of a letter from my beloved Chrissy, I survived and am finding joy in living once more. And you can too.
You formed a bond with your little girl. Just as strong, just as soul consuming as any bond with any human. Because is formed from love. Because love is spiritual, it is eternal. NOTHING can take it from you, not even death. "Death cannot take that which never dies". Your precious girl's life and the love she shared with you, is infinitely more important than her sad end. Don't let her death rule your life, don't let it ever be more important than her life. Try not to dwell on that, let your precious memories of happier times bring you comfort and be foremost in your thoughts. she would NEVER want to bring you such sadness, to affect your life from now on. Just as you would want for her if you were the first to go, live in the present, one day at a time, and find joy in living, find happiness once more. Don't worry about future losses, about future pain, it brings nothing but heartache and there is nothing worrying will do that can change anything in the future. What will be, will be..... Be thankful you knew her, you shared your life journey with her for a little while. To have never met her at all would have been unforgivable, look what joys you would have missed.
She follows a new path now, but will always be close, as close as your thoughts and prayers. So allow her legacy to grow, spread it and bring in the sunshine to help it grow. Try not to hide it in the darkness of grief. She would never want that for the one she loves so much. Send her thoughts of happiness and thankfulness, let her feel your joy not your tears. It will bring her, and your peace.
I feel your pain, I join you in knowing pain from a broken heart. I wish I could take it all away, but every one of us follows a personal path. And heals differently. But heal you will, it may take months or decades, but you WILL heal, but you will always have a scar. Take care of yourself, FORCE yourself to relax and enjoy what living offers, to live again. Open your heart and allow that sweet new addition to help you heal. And Tesla will help you too, if you ask her, she only wants your happiness because she loves you.....RIP beautiful Tesla. You will be dearly missed, you will always have a secure place in a loving heart. May the good Lord bless and keep you, until you meet again!

 

[Pook]

Dearest Tesla,

While you're now over the Rainbow Bridge, happy and healthy and well, playing with other pets and animals, keep a lookout, an ear up.

One day you will see your beloved owner, SiameseMummy begin to cross and you will run to her, and together you will cross the Bridge, paw in hand, in a joyous reunion and the only tears shed will be tears of joy.

We grieve for you, and miss you badly. We are sorry you left us ... but remember ... keep an eye and ear out. She will come in her own time, and you'll see her and together you will cross the bridge in joy.

A Friend

 

[TheresaB96]

I am s la month and a day after my Midi's leaving. It is a process....it is slow, but this site,my family, God's love, and my Fuzzle kitten sure have eased me along. I still hurt; just less. Cuddle the new floofball....love will help you heal. Show the newbie all the hugs and nose-boops you can. It is a healing, cathartic thing. Write.... journal. This has helped me. I will heal.maybe not today, but maybe sooner than I think? God bless you. Losing our companions is hard,. But, God os there to listen. I'm convinced. Talk to him about it.... Big hugs!

 

[Pook]

I am s la month and a day after my Midi's leaving. It is a process....it is slow, but this site,my family, God's love, and my Fuzzle kitten sure have eased me along. I still hurt; just less. Cuddle the new floofball....love will help you heal. Show the newbie all the hugs and nose-boops you can. It is a healing, cathartic thing. Write.... journal. This has helped me. I will heal.maybe not today, but maybe sooner than I think? God bless you. Losing our companions is hard,. But, God os there to listen. I'm convinced. Talk to him about it.... Big hugs!

I do understand. Everyone grieves at their own time, there is never a time limit or a structured junk about grieving. Remember, grief is our own stuff, and we all deal with grief and hurt as we will, in our own time, in our own way.

I do believe that those who believe in God as i do, He will comfort us and be with us through our grief. He listens, and comforts us as we deal with this terrible loss.

I will pray for you, and I am with you.

Very sad purrs
Pook

 

[TheresaB96]

It helps to know others are walking that path. My sister is missing her big boxer right now, and I totally understand. They are our besties. It is a total pain to lose a bestie . So, it's one step, then another....cry in the shower, then dry the tears and go about the day, and talk to God the whole time . There IS no time limit on this.

 

[di and bob]

I agree, God is with us all in our time of pain, comforting us, showing us the way to healing a broken heart. Blessing us for hurting so much from loving.
There is sunshine that will appear from the darkness, just as the new day dawns every morning. It comes in the form of our precious memories, in knowing we shared something that few do..... a part of our life journey with our little ones, who in return blessed those lives and loved us so very much.

 

[iheartdierks]

I found such comfort in reading these posts. I lost my baby boy Dierks on 9/6/18. It was sudden, unexpected and he was only 8 years old. I've been so upset and it helps to know that others can relate to what I'm going through. I too will be grieving for a very long time and will always keep my boy in my heart. I'm so sorry for your loss Siamesemummy.

 

[Furballsmom]

.

 

[Pook]

I am so very sorry. Sometimes the hurt is best dealt with in our own time, in our own way.

Sad purrs,
Pook