When all else fails....

[herekittykitty8]

Hello Everyone.
Looking for advice on next steps when all other efforts fail.
Marc, like most cats wakes up around 4am. Like so many others, I have issues with him waking up the whole house by screaming, attacking my OH and I so we'll play, etc. Pretty typical maddening behavior on his part. Adding to the overall stress of the issue itself, I live in a condo which is not very soundproofed. The extra room is close enough to ours that putting him away at night there makes no difference. His screams and door scratching, & hurling himself into the door can be heard just as loudly in our room if he was doing it at our bedroom door. His behavior has caused us to be fined 7 times now, $50 each offense (first offense $35, each after that $50) by neighbors who are also being kept up by him as well. I've tried arguing that if it were a human baby, i wouldn't be fined. However - in their eyes he is an animal and it is not quite the same as a human baby (i beg to differ... but that's a different argument).

I've combed this site, and SO many other forums and can honestly say I have tried every suggestion. As of today and for the past few weeks I have adjusted my sleeping schedule around him. I wake up around 4am when he does. I go back to bed when my OH wakes up for work. Usually Marc calms down a bit and will sleep into the afternoon. I essentially sleep from around 6am-10am everyday. If I'm lucky and don't have other errands to tend to, etc. I will be starting a full time job within the next month, so I can't endure this schedule much longer. Weekends are even WORSE as I let my OH sleep in, so I end up not getting to bed sometimes until 10am. Which of course, if I'm sleeping most of the day it doesn't leave much time with my OH. Things here are really becomming tense because of this sleeping issue.

I'm not sure what to do at this point, and I've reached a terrible realization that my only next step here is to look into medicating him. Absolute WORSE case scenario is keeping up this hideous new lifestyle. rehoming him will never be an option. I have opted to not have children and Marc, in my eyes is my child. I understand he can't help this. He is a cat, and dawn and dusk is when they typically wake up. I'm not holding this against him. But I don't know how to fix it so that it becomes a situation I can live with. I've been trying to convince myself that medicating him to sleep could be "ok" as we as humans medicate ourselves to calm down and sleep too. and yes, I have resorted to prescription meds to try to keep myself from being woken up by his screams.... but it doesn't help and I end up in a groggy fog all day.

Has anyone ever had to stoop to these drastic measures? Has anyone had to medicate their cat for other reasons to calm them? If so, what was the outcome? What meds were prescribed? We've began looking into selling our condo and buying a new condo that has better soundproofing, and a bedroom that isn't adjacent to ours, and the neighbors. But, it's been a challenge to find what we are looking for. So medicating won't be permanent. But - I don't know for how long it will be necessary.

I deserve to be flamed for thinking of medicating my cat - so feel free to fire away. I'm ashamed but I just can't keep this up much longer.

Any thoughts (good or bad!) is appreciated.

 

[ducman69]

My kitties tend to chase each other around during those hours too (which is why I removed their bells), but they know well enough not to bother me, and they have dry food available in their food ball dispenser when I'm sleeping.

So if the budget and circumstances permits, my recommendation would just be to get a playmate and have toys and nomnoms out for him.

If he's young, he's likely to mellow out in due time regardless. In fact, my friends with older kitties warn me to play with em as much as I can now, as when older they get lazy and sleep most of the day, heh!

Best of luck.

 

[herekittykitty8]

We have a food ball for Marc. He just loves it! Just not at the hour of the night we want him to love it

We do leave dry food for him out 24/7.

As far as a second cat goes - we did! That's another story, (and thread) but to make a long story short we took in a rescue kitty that wasn't at all the personality type the rescue said she would be. Marc is EXTREMELY playful and this girl, though his age didn't want to play with Marc, or be around us for that matter. At this point - since we brought her back to the rescue only a month ago we are reluctant to bring in another cat so soon. Marc seemed thrilled to have her out of "his" house, and when she was here - his issues at night intensified. But - we aren't ruling that out at all. We'll likely be getting another from the same breeder that Marc came from - but she won't be having another litter for a little bit.

For those with similiar problems - did bringing in a new cat really make that huge of a difference? as in - is this something I should look into doing over the next few weeks? I'm so desperate to solve this problem I'd considered bringing in a new cat sooner if it would put a stop to this.

 

[stephanietx]

Do you have a play session with him right before bed? If not, try that and then feed him a nice healthy serving of wet food. Of course, this will mean that you might need to adjust his feeding throughout the day.

How old is he? Has he been neutered?

I have an 8 mo old and a 5.5 yr. old. and neither of them wake me early or make noise at night. As far as I know they don't even play at night!

If they do, it's not loud enough to wake the dead. When she was younger, my Callie would play at 2:00 in the morning, but she entertained herself with quiet toys, unless I left a paper bag or piece of paper out on the floor. Then she'd make all kinds of noise!

 

[bastetservant]

Have you considered getting the help of a cat behaviorist? I wouldn't know where to start looking for one myself, except asking my vet.

If he is young, this is not such unusual behavior, and it will subside in time. I've never really had this to deal with regarding adult cats. My cats don't wake me up at night, and none ever has - except kittens under a year or so.

He is neutered, isn't he? How old is he? You do play with him a lot before you go to bed? How about a big meal of canned or pouch food before bed?

Is he sleeping in the same room with you when he starts - what - "screaming?" at 4 a.m. And is playing what he wants from you then? If so, than a playmate - close to same age and temperament, and probably male, too, would probably help.

Hope you figure it out. And I don't think you are terrible for considering medicating him. But, there may be solutions you haven't tried. You haven't said what you've tried.

Robin

 

[herekittykitty8]

Thanks Robin. You are absolutley right! I didn't list what I've tried. So to answer a few questions.
He is neutered. He is 8 months old (hopefully fitting into the stage where he'll grow out of it). He is also a bengal. Therefore maximizing his strong personality and helping me loose a bit of hope he'll grow out of it. He is a vocal cat - but not nearly as vocal normaly as he is when he wants into our bedroom at night.

1. BIG play sessions before bed time. At least45 minutes, but usually closer to an hour. Sometimes more if mom and dad aren't pooped from it.

2. We've tried feeding him at different times before bed. ie: 30 minutes before, an hour before, 45 minutes before, etc. But - he does get fed close to bedtime.

3. He does sleep in the room with us, and I do think this is part of what started the problem. As essentially when he jumps all over us when he wakes up, we are putting him out of the room. Unfortunately, as a result even when we put him out of the room to sleep he will still start up again around 4.

4. Feliway is all over our house. diffuser in every single room and in an outlet directly outside of our door.

5. He gets a calming collar on as soon as I leave the room which helps him to not run around like a loon at 4am. I don't like leaving it on when he is unsupervised because he just jumps around too much and am scared he will hang himself.

6. He gets a play session about 30 minutes into when I wake up around 4. I've thought about doing this play session sooner, but I don't want it to seem
like I'm encouraging him to wake me up to get play as a reward.

7. I've used some of the natural stress remedies in his food/water

8. Of course, fully vet checked to make sure he isn't doing this because he is sick.

9. added another litter box. He's fine with just one, and never touches the other one - but I did add an extra one to our bedroom where he sleeps just in case his issue was waking up to go to another room

10. Bought him boatloads of toys, which we alternate every other day or so, so he always has something new to play with. We also fairly recvently invested in a VERY large cat tree (that takes up a decent chunk of our apt) so he could entertain himself with that. He does LOVE it - but not enough to keep him from scratching. those toys include a food ball he can chase around as well

11. Tried putting ssscat by our door. Not only did it not deter him (i'm convinced he enjoyed the burst of air and thought it was a game), but it upset me. Of course, water bottle tried as well but he loves water and loves being squirted.

12. putting him in another room to try to break this habit. didn't work, and resulted in us being fined lots of money and teaching him how to open doors. sigh!

I'm sure there are other things here and there I've done that I'm not thinking of at the moment - but as you can see I've explored lots of options!

I do love the idea of a behaviorist and haven't thought of that! I will call my vet tomorrow, get some names and give that a go.
Thank You!

 

[stephanietx]

Part of the "problem" is that he's a bengal and they require LOTS and LOTS of play, vertical space and climbing space. If you can, maybe you can build some wall shelves for him to climb and jump on. Does he have a cat tree?

 

[bastetservant]

I have no experience with Bengal's. Maybe someone here will be able to address their particular needs. Maybe try putting this info in the title of your thread.

You have tried a lot. I bet you are worn out with the whole process. I commend you to your commitment to him and that you are going to sort this out, rather than giving him up.

For DSH, and DLH cats, which I do have a lot of experience with, 8 months is about at the peak of a very tough age, behavior wise, until age 12 months or so.

Hang in there. I'd talk to breeders of Bengals. Maybe even post on the breeders' forum? I don't know. I'd talk to other vets if yours can't help. And I'd look for a cat behavior specialist. It may not be cheap, but it may save your sanity.

Robin

 

[ducman69]

Ah, yeah the store manager I know at my Krogers has a bengal, and he said the little squirt took half of his blinds off the windows the first time he left him alone for 12 hours, heh! So yeah, from what I hear they are intelligent, social, and high energy frisky kitties that desire lots and lots of mental stimulation and exercise compared to your run of the mill DSH, although I suppose a big factor is what generation they are removed from their asian leopard ancestors. It was on another forum, but there was a discussion where bengal owners recommended adopting siblings in pairs for this reason with lots of climbing surfaces unless the household was high traffic with lots of kids running around or other pets like dogs to play with. So stress remedies I wouldn't think would be of much help, as boredom is not the same as stress. Hope others can chime in with first hand experience for ya!

 

[herekittykitty8]

Thanks everyone. We do have a cat tree - but not one (in my opinion) that provides him enough stimulation. So I ordered another one that is over 6 feet tall, and has all sorts of crazy things for him to climb and do.

I wish I had adopted one of his siblings when I got him. I researched the breed a TON before getting him and had asked the breeder if getting a 2nd cat would be a good thing. She thought we could probably wait a few months to see how it goes - but now looking back, I sure do regret it!

Oddly - this is one of the only issues we've had with him. I expected many more after reading some of the issues others have had with bengals such as destruction, climbing the walls, etc. But - aside from being pretty relentless in the middle of the night - he's been a pretty good cat.

I'm going to try the cat behaviorist. I've also been a member of the bengal cat forum for a while now - which is where I got some of my ideas. I'm beginning to think in my case - I may just have to ride this all out! Unless of course, I die of exhaustion between now and then

 

[strange_wings]

Originally Posted by herekittykitty8

I wish I had adopted one of his siblings when I got him. I researched the breed a TON before getting him and had asked the breeder if getting a 2nd cat would be a good thing. She thought we could probably wait a few months to see how it goes - but now looking back, I sure do regret it!

So what is stopping you now? It doesn't even have to be another bengal. A DSH/DLH of the close to the same age could be found to match his play intensity or even a different breed, heck even a dog would work (though be more work for you).

This isn't something I've had too much trouble with, either, mainly because I've rarely had a single kitten. There has always been another cat to entertain them. Though, hearing three kittens getting into things at 3am can be a bit nerve wracking at times.

 

[ldg]

Do you have a cat wheel or space for one? That might tucker him out enough to sleep a bit longer.

I remember when we first rescued the kitties.... everyone said, just give it time, they'll adjust to your schedule. Ignore them if they wake you at night - don't encourage them to continue waking you on their schedule, force them into yours.

Well, easier said than done.

BUT - they did, finally, (generally) adjust to our schedule. I don't know when it was, honestly.... but I do know 8 months is just about peak on the "kitten activity" scale.

 

[herekittykitty8]

I wish I had room for a cat wheel! Marc would just LOVE that!

Marc is actually spending the evening in a "Cat hotel". I had a little scare today and passed out this morning while at the post office. Luckily, my sister was there with me and the EMT's allowed me to go home with her after giving me some oxygen. I phoned my Dr. and he thinks it was from exhaustion (though, I'm still going in for tests & a checkup tomorrow). I hadn't slept at all Sunday into today, and Saturday managed only about 4 hours in the afternoon. He prescribed me some sleeping pills, and since they'd be good for nothing with Marc around - I decided to give Marc a little vacay away from home so I can get a good nights sleep.

To be fair - This isn't at all entirely Marc's antics that caused this. I've suffered from pretty severe insomnia for a long time, I'm used to going a few days straight with not a wink of sleep - but the added stress of Marc's behavior, on top of having to play a ton with him to clam him down ... took a much greater toll on me than I had thought.
After this is behind me, I plan to start up with some of the suggestions everyone has given on this thread & PM's that I haven't already tried.

 

[herekittykitty8]

Hmmm come to think of it... I've had a pretty bad run cat wise the past 6 months.
Hopefully things will only get better and not worse.

 

[feralvr]

Bengals are extremely intelligent cats. I have never owned one, but have been to many cat shows and always stop and talk with the breeders. I would definitely call a Bengal breeder, or post a thread on this site asking specifically about Bengal temperaments and advice. He is at the age a human teenage boy would be !!!!! I know they require alot of exercise, so keep up those play sessions before you go to bed. Try to make them a bit longer and more strenuous for him. Does he like to play fetch??? My siamese is extremely demanding like your Bengal and requires alot of my time each night playing with him so we can all sleep. Pipsqueak loves to fetch those foil balls and we play this even while I am watching TV!!! Although, he thinks he has my undivided attention. But, I have taught Pip that waking me up too early makes his meowmy cranky, and he is so sensitive, he has learned to wait, sometimes.........

My thought was to get another cat, male, and maybe even a kitten. Talking with a breeder will help you out for sure.