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What to do about my mother?
- Thread starter jennyr
- Start Date
Jenny, that sounds great!!!!!!!!!!!!!
That sounds like a good plan!
DH's grandmother fell and broke her hip a few years back and right after that his grandpa passed. So she ended up moving from Florida to Tennessee to live with my mother-in-law. She is nearly blind; but other than using a walker to get around (mostly when she is outside) she is very sharp. I forget her exact age; late 80s or early 90s I believe). She likes to putter too; even though its getting harder. The jobs they settled on for her are that she empties the dishwasher by putting some things away and stacking others on the counter so my MIL can easily put them on the higher shelves where it's hard to reach or see. She also feeds the 2 dogs and lets them in and out. The food is kept in a bin with a scoop by their bowls so it's easy to reach and the yard is fenced so all she has to do is open and close the door. I think she folds some laundry too. This seems to keep her happy. Plus being there means seeing her great-grand-babies. It was hard for her to adjust at first. She would go in her room after dinner or when my FIL got home from work. She felt like she was intruding on their private time. Slowly she has stopped doing that as much when she realized it didn't bother him and he enjoyed her company. She always retires early anyway.
I'm sure it's difficult to have someone around all the time when you are used to your alone time. I'm the kind of person who has always needed alone time. I did as a kid and I still do. Hopefully you can find some way to get bits of that in when she comes back. And then it's not forever too; which always helps me.
DH's grandmother fell and broke her hip a few years back and right after that his grandpa passed. So she ended up moving from Florida to Tennessee to live with my mother-in-law. She is nearly blind; but other than using a walker to get around (mostly when she is outside) she is very sharp. I forget her exact age; late 80s or early 90s I believe). She likes to putter too; even though its getting harder. The jobs they settled on for her are that she empties the dishwasher by putting some things away and stacking others on the counter so my MIL can easily put them on the higher shelves where it's hard to reach or see. She also feeds the 2 dogs and lets them in and out. The food is kept in a bin with a scoop by their bowls so it's easy to reach and the yard is fenced so all she has to do is open and close the door. I think she folds some laundry too. This seems to keep her happy. Plus being there means seeing her great-grand-babies. It was hard for her to adjust at first. She would go in her room after dinner or when my FIL got home from work. She felt like she was intruding on their private time. Slowly she has stopped doing that as much when she realized it didn't bother him and he enjoyed her company. She always retires early anyway.
I'm sure it's difficult to have someone around all the time when you are used to your alone time. I'm the kind of person who has always needed alone time. I did as a kid and I still do. Hopefully you can find some way to get bits of that in when she comes back. And then it's not forever too; which always helps me.
Good compromise, Jenny -- best of all because she is fully on board with it. Hope it makes for a great summer.
Jenny,
I think that sounds like a nice compromise. My mother is caring for my grandmother who lives next door to her It has been extremely frustrating for my Mom (Gram is now 95). Grandmother is very spry and gets on well for her age but she does still feel like she has to watch her constantly because she doesn't realize her limitations. I agree with the others, though. As long as you have the patience, letting her stay sounds like it will be nice for her. And you have a little break to think of some small things she can do to help you out before she returns.
I think that sounds like a nice compromise. My mother is caring for my grandmother who lives next door to her It has been extremely frustrating for my Mom (Gram is now 95). Grandmother is very spry and gets on well for her age but she does still feel like she has to watch her constantly because she doesn't realize her limitations. I agree with the others, though. As long as you have the patience, letting her stay sounds like it will be nice for her. And you have a little break to think of some small things she can do to help you out before she returns.
