My husband and I met a single mom (I'll call her Sandra) and her daughter (Michelle) almost four years ago. Our daughter and Michelle became friends, and have continued that friendship. They are both in 3rd grade now and are very close friends.
This past summer, we had Michelle over at least two times a week for full days (9 to 5) while her mom worked. Sandra told me that Michelle hated her "day camp" because one of the instructors would tease her about her appearance and call her fat. I treated Michelle like a daughter, took her to movies, to the beach, fed her healthy meals and snacks, put sunscreen on her, etc. Michelle is a very nice kid, and easy to have around, and I was happy that she and our daughter had each other to play with (both are "only children).
The girls had a blast all summer, watching movies, playing in our garden and playroom, and swimming in the pool. We continued taking care of Michelle after school started, on minor holidays and teacher's days when the day care was closed but Sandra had to work. We'd invite Michelle over after school once a week or so, also, since the girls usually had some project they wanted to work on.
When my husband was traveling, I'd invite Sandra and Michelle to join us for dinner after Sandra got off of work. This was all fine, and when Sandra would thank me, I'd tell her it works out well for everyone and I really didn't mind. That was the truth, but now things have changed.
Our girls like to call each other on the phone, and my daughter has asked Michelle a couple of times on the weekend if they could get together. Michelle always said she couldn't. We thought maybe because the weekends were "mother-daughter" time, but more and more my daughter realized Michelle has other friends visiting on the weekends. She felt this was fine, but why isn't she also invited sometimes?
About four weeks ago, we ran into Michelle, Sandra, a friend of Sandra's, and his daughter. My daughter asked me if Michelle could come over, and Sandra spoke up saying, no, that they were all going to her apartment to watch a movie.
At this, my daughter stormed off, her feelings hurt. Michelle asked me, "What's wrong?" and I told her, "She wants to play with you on the weekends sometimes, and maybe at your house now and then."
Sandra told me, "Oh, you know she's welcome any time." I did not reply, but I wanted to say, But she needs to be invited!
I figured out that Michelle has spent about 25 days (8-9 hours per day) with us in the last six months. Yet, if you don't count Michelle's birthday party, Sandra and Michelle have not invited my daughter to their apartment even once in the last six months.
Now, Sandra is completely ignoring me, to the point of rudeness. I honestly don't know what happened. I don't know what her problem is, but I'm not going to take it on. Our daughters are still good friends. I didn't start feeling like Sandra was taking advantage of me until she started snubbing me. It's like she has no more use for me since I figured her out! Or something!
Does anyone have any insight on this situation? I'm at a loss.
Cheers, from
SwampWitch
This past summer, we had Michelle over at least two times a week for full days (9 to 5) while her mom worked. Sandra told me that Michelle hated her "day camp" because one of the instructors would tease her about her appearance and call her fat. I treated Michelle like a daughter, took her to movies, to the beach, fed her healthy meals and snacks, put sunscreen on her, etc. Michelle is a very nice kid, and easy to have around, and I was happy that she and our daughter had each other to play with (both are "only children).
The girls had a blast all summer, watching movies, playing in our garden and playroom, and swimming in the pool. We continued taking care of Michelle after school started, on minor holidays and teacher's days when the day care was closed but Sandra had to work. We'd invite Michelle over after school once a week or so, also, since the girls usually had some project they wanted to work on.
When my husband was traveling, I'd invite Sandra and Michelle to join us for dinner after Sandra got off of work. This was all fine, and when Sandra would thank me, I'd tell her it works out well for everyone and I really didn't mind. That was the truth, but now things have changed.
Our girls like to call each other on the phone, and my daughter has asked Michelle a couple of times on the weekend if they could get together. Michelle always said she couldn't. We thought maybe because the weekends were "mother-daughter" time, but more and more my daughter realized Michelle has other friends visiting on the weekends. She felt this was fine, but why isn't she also invited sometimes?
About four weeks ago, we ran into Michelle, Sandra, a friend of Sandra's, and his daughter. My daughter asked me if Michelle could come over, and Sandra spoke up saying, no, that they were all going to her apartment to watch a movie.
At this, my daughter stormed off, her feelings hurt. Michelle asked me, "What's wrong?" and I told her, "She wants to play with you on the weekends sometimes, and maybe at your house now and then."
Sandra told me, "Oh, you know she's welcome any time." I did not reply, but I wanted to say, But she needs to be invited!
I figured out that Michelle has spent about 25 days (8-9 hours per day) with us in the last six months. Yet, if you don't count Michelle's birthday party, Sandra and Michelle have not invited my daughter to their apartment even once in the last six months.
Now, Sandra is completely ignoring me, to the point of rudeness. I honestly don't know what happened. I don't know what her problem is, but I'm not going to take it on. Our daughters are still good friends. I didn't start feeling like Sandra was taking advantage of me until she started snubbing me. It's like she has no more use for me since I figured her out! Or something!
Does anyone have any insight on this situation? I'm at a loss.
Cheers, from
SwampWitch