well you are here, WHAT HAS HELPED WITH YOUR GRIEF THE MOST?

[les26]

Time, wonderful caring messages from the sweet people on this site, and getting Sylvester almost a year ago, and prayers and also realizing that it is just the down side of having loved so many so much for so long.....

God Bless.....

 

[zed xyzed]

Thank you for starting this thread, dealing with the loss of a loved furry friend is a extremely painful experience. We can use as much help and support as we can get to help at this dark moment. 

 

[wealthy1]

I never heard of this site until I lost my kitty tiger. Everyone here has helped me with my deep grief of losing her. I cry almost every single day but I cry a little less the grief is not as overwhelming. Although I would do almost anything to have her back in my arms again or to turn back the hands of time and show her more I love that she probably could ever stand. Also to give her the things I always wanted to give her to make sure she had a better life. Even if it's something as simple as a cat stand. I will always love her. And even though I know she loved me back and I still face little bit of guilt of how I handled the last few days on this earth I will always always remember her.

I will continue to show love to all of my love One humans and pets the like. Her death showed me that is essential that everyone knows that's in your life how much you care about them. Even though her death was only three or four weeks ago I'm just not quite ready yet to get another pet.

My apartment feels a little cold feels like there's something lacking when I walk to the door. But it also in this time of my grieving made me realize The role an A pets plays in our daily lives.

I do feel that I need to do something to honor tiger. So in memory of her I am making sure that I am empowered with the knowledge on how to care for pets. Eventually I will get another one but I want to make sure that I have certain things in place before I do.

I love you and miss you tiger.

 

[kmd]

Thanks for all of the responses... one thing has been on my mind lately... when it is time for a "new" cat...

The grief for both Elmo and Georgie came in one size... EXTRA LARGE. However, I can say now that the grief for Elmo's 2011 death is different now from Georgie's 2015 grief... which seems a more open wound.

The thing I want to communicate today is this thought, there are not enough great cat parents to go around. If you have loved a cat dearly, and taken care of so closely, please consider doing it again - and soon. Not so soon that your timing is messed up and you aren't fully ready, or that you would hold anything against a new cat because, "Fluffy never did that!" and trying to compare our old cat with a new cat.

BUT... in our community the animal shelter puts cats down on Tuesdays and Fridays... ferals, young, old, friendlies...they all have a time allowed. If you have given so much love to cat that you ended up on this thread, please consider bringing another into your home as soon as you think you can.

There aren't enough great cat parents to go around...

(and thanks to Venus and Abigail, who's purrs and trills made this message possible today...)

 

[wealthy1]

Thanks for all of the responses... one thing has been on my mind lately... when it is time for a "new" cat...
The grief for both Elmo and Georgie came in one size... EXTRA LARGE. However, I can say now that the grief for Elmo's 2011 death is different now from Georgie's 2015 grief... which seems a more open wound.
The thing I want to communicate today is this thought, there are not enough great cat parents to go around. If you have loved a cat dearly, and taken care of so closely, please consider doing it again - and soon. Not so soon that your timing is messed up and you aren't fully ready, or that you would hold anything against a new cat because, "Fluffy never did that!" and trying to compare our old cat with a new cat.
BUT... in our community the animal shelter puts cats down on Tuesdays and Fridays... ferals, young, old, friendlies...they all have a time allowed. If you have given so much love to cat that you ended up on this thread, please consider bringing another into your home as soon as you think you can.
There aren't enough great cat parents to go around...
(and thanks to Venus and Abigail, who's purrs and trills made this message possible today...)

KMD your statement about Georgie's death is more like an open wound. Is it due to that fact Elmo was your first pet loss? (Not to make light of either of your pet's deaths).

Everyone I spoken to stated that it DOES NOT get easy with each pet death. But I always wondered how true of a statement is that. I am hesitant to get another pet, because I dont know how I would react if it died. It concerns me (not in fear) that I would react the same way I reacted to Tiger (my cat) death.

 

[msmamakat1]

I am here once again
At the Edge of Grief Mountain

This mountain is never an easy traverse. It's long, painful and requires boxes of kleenex and an occasional stiff drink.

No words make it any easier.

And waking up to see that empty spot at the bottom of the bed does make for a good morning cry.

It will be two weeks tomorrow and I'm not even half way up this mountain

I don't know that any one thing really helps....

I miss you Buddy!
So very very much.!
I'll see you at the Rainbow Bridge is my only consolation

 

[msmamakat1]

If anything can help a BROKEN heart the love a baby in need can

 

[kmd]

KMD your statement about Georgie's death is more like an open wound. Is it due to that fact Elmo was your first pet loss? (Not to make light of either of your pet's deaths).

Everyone I spoken to stated that it DOES NOT get easy with each pet death. But I always wondered how true of a statement is that. I am hesitant to get another pet, because I dont know how I would react if it died. It concerns me (not in fear) that I would react the same way I reacted to Tiger (my cat) death.

Just different situations, Elmo was my first situation with euthanasia as an adult (a much stronger reaction than when I had pets when I was a kid) and he was only 10, so I felt like our time was cut short. But, what I think now is the 2011 death is just not as difficult as it once was because of time.  

Georgie, was my wife and I's first pet in our adult years, neither of us had pets for almost 20 years. She blazed a trail for Elmo to come along 3 years later, and ultimately Venus and Abigail. If she hadn't wormed her way into our hearts, maybe we wouldn't have ended up with the others.

Georgie's death at 17 was a double edged sword - she made it 17 years with several difficult health problems (I repeat my warning - GET pet health insurance - big difference in being able to treat Elmo's CHF and Georgie's problems) - yet, the thought you are losing someone so close to you after 17 years... you think of all the hardships and issues over the years - and Georgie was always the bright spot in the day.

Plus, at this point I am just under the 2 year point since her death, I have been told for difficult deaths close to us, it takes that for us to start turning a corner, everyone is different.

 

[kmd]

I don't mean to run a commercial here, but on youtube I kept catching an opening ad called, "For the Love of Luck - An Orvis Dog's Story"... which I have watched several times. It puts into words so well that relationship between a human and a dear pet.

After Georgie's death, we asked the humane society for an adult cat "who has been passed over by other potential adopters", and wow did we ever get a sweetheart.

Both Venus and Abigail helped us heal, yet I realize timing is very important.

 

[wealthy1]

Thank you for clarifying. What type of pet insurance do you suggest?

Just different situations, Elmo was my first situation with euthanasia as an adult (a much stronger reaction than when I had pets when I was a kid) and he was only 10, so I felt like our time was cut short. But, what I think now is the 2011 death is just not as difficult as it once was because of time.  
Georgie, was my wife and I's first pet in our adult years, neither of us had pets for almost 20 years. She blazed a trail for Elmo to come along 3 years later, and ultimately Venus and Abigail. If she hadn't wormed her way into our hearts, maybe we wouldn't have ended up with the others.
Georgie's death at 17 was a double edged sword - she made it 17 years with several difficult health problems (I repeat my warning - GET pet health insurance - big difference in being able to treat Elmo's CHF and Georgie's problems) - yet, the thought you are losing someone so close to you after 17 years... you think of all the hardships and issues over the years - and Georgie was always the bright spot in the day.
Plus, at this point I am just under the 2 year point since her death, I have been told for difficult deaths close to us, it takes that for us to start turning a corner, everyone is different.

 

[kmd]

We have Petsbest.com now, and I have heard good things about Trupanion.

We had another company, that got a little slow on claims toward the end of our time with them, that a simple google search seems to bear out that folks experience with them was not wonderful.

 

[wealthy1]

So i pulled out Tigers favorite...human size...comforter tonight. A few weeks ago i would have been in hysterics crying and screaming.

First pet death.

Now looking at this semi destroyed comforter. Where she would spend countless hours sleeping and pawing (destroying).

I cant help but smile and im so glad i didnt throw it away.

Im at a good place. I do miss her. But im ready to move forward.

Rest in heaven Tiger. Mama loves you.

 

[wealthy1]

This site (and God) and all of you have helped me so much with my grief. Thank you!

Writing here regarding whatever I' feeling at the moment has been a big help!

I'm not quite ready to get another pet. I have some immediate things that need my attention. But I can't wait to find a puppy and kitten!

I do have my spurts where I breakdown and cry uncontrollably where I cant think or see straight. My biggest wish is to not get another pet, because I miss Tiger or whatever emptiness I feel at the moment.

 

[darkhorse321]

Oddly enough, the two babies I just lost helped me with the grief of the loss of my first kitty. Sounds strange, but they taught me my heart could be open to new fur babies and they taught me so much.

I lost Bandit November 16th 2016 and his sister Skye ,March 21st 2017. My heart is broken. I miss them so much, but Skye I am so sad because of many reasons--1. She got sick so quickly and I had to say goodbye so soon and 2. I felt Skye always took back seat to Bandit due to his chronic medical needs. I was so focused on creating a life for Skye and I and that I was getting to know her. When she started to show problems, my heart sank. I know she missed Bandit. They both loved me and I them---it just never seems long enough. 17 years...

Scrapbooking helped me a lot, and for Skye and Bandit, I am doing a memory journal. When Skye and Bandit were sick, certain songs on the radio kept playing, so I looked them up and read the lyrics and will include in their memory journal.
Making a memorial spot for them, their ashes and photo with their ashes helped too.

And crying. Lots of crying. And knowing it's ok to cry and be sad.

 

[kittens mom]

Particularly poignant at this time. I have lost so many pets in my life it's the price you pay for being a loyal guardian they are with you for life. All of them caused me grief you miss them so much but there seems to be different kinds of grief. A pet who has lived a full happy life helping them out of this world is so much different than being forced to let them go while they are still young through sickness or injury. Most grief resolves itself there is a natural process we seem to follow more or less and in our own order. I lost my beloved Arab mare almost 13 years ago and it still pains me. she rolled under a panel and my FIL who was feet away left her hanging there for 4 hours in the July heat. She ended up rupturing a gut and we had to put her down. Kitten was murdered by a veterinarian via enrofloxacin and a massive overdose. She went blind and a few short months later we got a lesson in liver failure none of us seen coming. These are unresolved sorrows. There is no way to make them right or find a resolution to your grief and anger. You have to learn not to let it run your whole day but also know when the natural outlet of tears , anger and some good venting are necessary. In fact I recommend it for anyone going through the pain of losing their beloved feline. The more you bottle it up the bigger it gets. Scream, cry , vent, rage but don't forget the love and what made them so special that makes it so painful to suffer their loss.

 

[roxanne76]

I lost my best friend, Nermal on 01/17/2017. He had a very aggressive cancer in his poor little mouth and it took him from me quickly. As it mutated and became more painful, I realized it was time for him to be at peace.

Looking back on that day, it now seems like I was completely out of my body and just going through the motions. It is truly the most difficult, painful decision I have ever made. There is now a gaping hole in my heart.

I miss his sweet little gray face and beautiful green eyes, lovingly looking at me after a long day. I miss how excited he would get when I brought groceries home, anxiously looking for a fresh bag of dry food or cans of wet food. The sight of an empty box (of all things!) makes my heart ache! He used to love sitting in empty boxes and quickly took it over, moving his little toys inside.

I'm not sure when it will be time to adopt more kitty friends. I would love to have another (most likely, two!) and give them the chance to live out their lives exploring under beds, inside boxes and bags, watching birds at the feeder and napping in the sun. I guess time will tell.

Hugs to everyone grieving the loss of a sweet, dear friend.

 

[ginny]

:group hug:

I'm so sorry for everyone's losses. Been there and done that. Will have to go through it in the future too

 

[kittens mom]

We adopted 5 days after Kitten's loss, 3 days after her witness cremation. Unlike the human world when one of our felines passes opening our hearts means another cat gets the chance to live. Nothing replaces the one you have lost but there was something good about taking in the little scamp that had a warning label on her intake. In a kill shelter full of kittens eager and reaching she was probably destined for a trash bag.
Our lives with pets is a continuous cycle. We never see the sunset coming until it's upon us and then we dive back in because the only other option is to live our lives without them.

 

[kittens mom]

I have no clue why my last post was edited by a moderator.