Really, his mother is playing a fairly classic game of "Me or the wife" and unfortunately, she's the one who keeps winning. When your husband married you, he started his own family, and you and your children should always come first, then his parents. Yes, she raised him, yes, he should love her, yes, she is important. But he chose you to be his family, and you and any children come first. Unfortunately, mom is used to being first in her son's life, and she will keep testing that relationship to see if she still is.
He might well need some shock tactics to clue him in to how much damage he is doing to your relationship by choosing his mother over you. I don't necessarily advocate a separation without a therapist helping you do it, but something to make his life uncomfortable until he straightens up and puts his priorities in the right order seems to be necessary. You certainly can't keep letting him get away with it with nothing but some nagging and yelling as the only consequence. That's apparently not enough of a deterrant or enough to make him consider your feelings.
Many
and that things get better for you soon.
He might well need some shock tactics to clue him in to how much damage he is doing to your relationship by choosing his mother over you. I don't necessarily advocate a separation without a therapist helping you do it, but something to make his life uncomfortable until he straightens up and puts his priorities in the right order seems to be necessary. You certainly can't keep letting him get away with it with nothing but some nagging and yelling as the only consequence. That's apparently not enough of a deterrant or enough to make him consider your feelings.
Many