We need advice for our skittish cat

[tchatt70]

Hello everyone, I'm new to this forum after googling "rescue cat forum." I'm 46 y/o and was born and raised around cats. I thought I had a pretty good handle on cat behavior but I'm perplexed with one of our 2 Russian Blues.

14 months ago, my wife and I decided to adopt a cat. I'm very partial to Russian Blues and have owned a couple in my life. We decided to go to an animal shelter in Lake Co. FL after seeing a photo of a RB kitten. When we arrived to meet our male cat "BJ" the shelter talked us in to adopting 2 for the price of 1. I'm a soft heart and of course agreed and looked at the dozens of cats in the shelter and found a female RB kitten. She was a little bit timid but was very affectionate at the shelter and the first couple weeks at home. We already had a 14 y/o male RB, "Snoop."

Within days of the kittens coming home Snoop started sneezing and refusing to eat. We didn't introduce the kittens to Snoop right away but he still managed to contact a feline respiratory infection from the kittens. If memory serves me correctly we had to wait over a week to bring home the kittens so they could be spayed/neutered and BJ could have medicine administered as he was sick. I feel so guilty for this next part. Within the next week poor Snoop had to be put down. Now here is where things took a turn with our female, "Kali." Kali was 9 months old at adoption and BJ was 6 m/o. We started treating them with medicine the vet gave us which was anti-biotic as well as ear drops. Kali absolutely hated the ear drops and was also sickened by the liquid AB. She was extremely combative when having to give her meds and they were on them for nearly 2 weeks. I gave them their meds most of the time but my wife would have to help me with Kali as she would just go bat sh%* crazy at med time. She never really recovered from that trauma I guess. Because over a year later she still hates being held in any way and will only let you pet her once in a blue moon and she has to be about a full arms length away. Unless you catch her sleeping on her cat perch where she'll let you pet her and even purrs very softly. 

Problem #2, Kali and BJ are 2 polar opposite cats. BJ fits the mold of the typical RB that I've been around. He weighs 17 lbs (8 lbs more than Kali) but he picks on her alot. They do what may be considered "play fighting," but BJ pretty much throttles Kali. They are both declawed BTW and both have been fixed.  BJ sometimes won't let Kali outside (they have a cat door to our lanai in the back patio which is screened in so they can't get out and other animals can't get in. Except for the plethora of lizards we have here in Florida) when he gets in his "moods." This is where one of the catboxes is located and we have another in our master bedroom that was meant for just Kali but we can't keep BJ out of it all of the time. 

Problem #3 (the big one) Kali will NOT STOP peeing on our bed. It's happened so many times I lost count. She comes up on the bed and just lays waste to our comforter. We can be asleep on the bed and she'll do it even then. I don't understand this behavior one bit. She has also pee'd on a couple of our soft throw pillows on the couch and one of our kids comforters. We haven't caught her urinating anywhere else (keyword "caught)  So she mainly targets soft bedding. My wife and I are at our wits end with this cat. I really really would rather not put her back up for adoption at a shelter. As skittish as she is I don't think anyone would have the patience to deal with her. Then again I've kind of lost faith in humanity but I still have a little hope.

That's why I'm on this forum. I'm looking for a cure to this behavior. The poor cat is on her last legs here but I simply cannot tolerate cat urine all over my house and especially bedding. 

Lastly I'll mention the cat boxes are scooped on a daily basis and the litter changed frequently. We go through buckets of 5 gallon litter. The outside catbox is a tupperware like toolbox about 4 feet long by 2 feet wide and deep. The inside box is a regular cat size box with a cover on top but a large enough hole for the cats to go in and feel like they're hidden. 

Any advice on how to save our Kali would be greatly appreciated. Meanwhile I'll keep researching some posts. 

 

[basschick]

first off, has kali been checked for a UTI? 

kali could also be peeing on the bed because the other cat is bullying her and she doesn't feel safe around the cat box (and he may be attacking her when she tries to use it), but she may feel safe in your bed, which may be the only place she's not being bullied.  and if you only have a single cat box, and BJ is territorial, you'll need at least one more cat box.  after all, she has no way to use the box if the bigger, stronger cat "defending" it from her. 

what do you do when the male cat attacks her - do you do something immediately to make him stop, say distract him with a toy or treat or separate them?   and have you tried putting a tarp over your bed when not in use or at least getting a moisture proof mattress topper for now till you can help her build new habits with another cat box and keeping her from being bullied?

of course, if she turns out to have a UTI, you can ignore everything i just said.

 

[ckyee]

You can also try removing access to the bedroom. Best option after identifying if health or behavioural. You could try removing the hood to the litter so she can see if bj is around. Some cats don't like to be hidden when going as they are vulnerable.
My cat likes to have close access to two litters one for each type of activity, a third litter is definitely recommended.
Dose Kali only go on the bed or in other places too? It could also be territorial.
I know you can get cat doors that operated with tags on a collar. So if practical perhaps dedicate an area of the house for Kali only.
You can also get a camera for the room to see what is happening when she dose pee on the bed. Is bj around or is she crying before hand. There are many reasons to why she could she could be acting up.