Watching my baby die..

[donza]

I've had my cat ("Carrots) for over 19 years now (as of a couple of weeks ago). When I found him and took him home he was (by my best guess) about 10 weeks old or so. That was around the 4th of July, 2003. Although he was a "fat cat" for many years, within the last couple of years he started losing weight as well as his body mass. Within the last year, his belly started sagging as he got skinnier and skinnier. Around six months ago he stopped burying his pee & poop whenever he went to use the litter box. In the last few weeks I've been watching him go downhill fast. He's just skin and bone now. Within the last week he's stopped eating & drinking and within the last couple of days he's started smelling awful - like he's already gone.

So I got a hold of my landlady (who happens work at the local vet's office) and talked to her about having him put down. The problem is that the vet's office is about five miles away and I have no transportation. I've been trying to find a ride because the thought of watching him die right in front of me is unbearable. The very thought of not having him in my life anymore is heartbreaking. My landlady said that the vet's office can have him put down, cremated and I can keep his ashes for about $200. I have enough in my savings account to cover it so that's not the issue. The issue is losing my baby and I'm having a very hard time coping with it.

I'm not looking for a magical solution to make him well again as I know that's not possible. Carrots has had a good life and we've had nearly two wonderful decades together. I was just needing to talk to someone about it who loved their cats and could relate to my situation when out of the blue, I remembered this site. I haven't been on here in several years but for some reason I just happened to think of The Catsite. I've loved my baby - or as I call him, my "little buddy" for a very long time. This is so hard.

And to top it all off? Today (of all days) is my birthday. I'm 63 years old as of today. Lord please give me strength.

 

[Antonio65]

I'm so sorry, I know what it means when you have to just watch things happen, and after 19 year of life together, you must have a lot of memories that give you pain in this moment.

One thing I haven't understood. It's whether during the past couple of years, when you noticed his decline, you took Carrots to the vet to see what the issue was.
I know that ageing is a natural step of life, but I wonder if something could be done when he started losing weight.

P.S.: Happy birthday, though in so sad circumstances.

 

[furmonster mom]

Don’t get caught up in could’a-shoul’a-would’a. Nineteen years is amazing, and it sounds like they’ve been some wonderful years. Helping him across the bridge, while difficult, is the kindest thing you can do at this point. Of course you will grieve, as much as anyone would for the loss of a long time companion. Many of us have gone through this more than a few times, and it’s never any easier. Our hearts are with you.

 

[donza]

I took him to the vet and had him put down on Monday (and on my birthday, no less). It broke my heart to do it but I was with him in the end. As the vet was giving injecting him, the last words he ever heard were me telling him over and over again how much I loved him. Then I cried like a little baby. He's being cremated and in about a week or so I'll get his ashes back in a tabby-cat shaped urn. So in that sense he'll always be with me.

A very dear friend of mine suggested (insisted?) that I take a couple of selfies with him before I left the house and I'm glad I did. I also rejoice in the fact that I have hundreds of pics I have taken of him over the years plus many videos I will cherish forever. He was a shedding machine and he could aggravate me at times but I thank God for every minute I had with him.

He loved being on my lap. I think he thought it was his lap to get on anytime he wanted. Sometimes it annoyed me that he wanted to be on my lap almost constantly but he was just SO affectionate. Sometimes I'd put my arm behind my back and say "NO, I am NOT going to pet you!" That's when would lean into me and I almost always gave in. Oh how I wish he would annoy me just one more time.

 

[donza]

I'm so sorry, I know what it means when you have to just watch things happen, and after 19 year of life together, you must have a lot of memories that give you pain in this moment.

One thing I haven't understood. It's whether during the past couple of years, when you noticed his decline, you took Carrots to the vet to see what the issue was.
I know that ageing is a natural step of life, but I wonder if something could be done when he started losing weight.

P.S.: Happy birthday, though in so sad circumstances.

Yes I took him to the vet on several occasions, had blood work done, etc., in the last couple of years. The vet told me that there was nothing gravely wrong with him at the time, he said that he was getting very old for a cat and it was essentially a matter of time.

 

[fionasmom]

I am so sorry for your loss. The fact that Carrots was with you for 19 years is a huge testimony to your care and love, although one that is not hugely comforting right now. You did the hardest and bravest thing you could do for him. I am sorry that it was on your birthday, but that also speaks to how much you put him before yourself.

Within a couple of days this thread will be closed out of respect for Carrots. If you would like to post a memorial to him in our Crossing the Bridge forum, you are more than welcome to do so.

Crossing the Bridge

 

[neely]

Carrots was a very handsome tabby. As hard as it is to lose one of our cherished felines it's even harder to watch them suffer. I'm sure everyone would agree you gave him a wonderful, long life filled with happiness and love. It's unfortunate it was your birthday but I hope in the coming years on your special day you will remember all the enjoyable moments you shared with him.

 

[iPappy]

I am so sorry you lost him....and on your birthday, no less. I had a cat I found in a ditch as a kitten pass away on my birthday several years ago at 15 years old. It just makes it so hard. 19 years is an amazingly long life, but it's never long enough.