Dearest Erin -- I am so sorry for your loss. Don't dread the funeral too much, though. I fainted at the hospital when my brother died. I zoned out completely for days and thought the funeral was going to be such torture that I begged a chaplain from the hospital to go with me. Surprise. The funeral was actually fun. I got to talk about my brother with other people who loved him and to see family I hadn't seen in years. It can work like that sometimes. All my condolences sweetheart.